A/N - Hello! I do suppose I should wait five minutes while you pick yourselfs up off thefloor and shout "WTF, SHE IS UPDATING?" at eachother and myself... Well yes, I do suppose I deserve the old shoes and worthless nicnacks thrown at my head but then... Hey, it's here now, is it not? There are a bunch of people who I am supposed to be mentioning/crediting/thanking/throwing I.O.U molest tickets of thanks at... but if I sit here and try to remember them all, I think you all would have waited another week. I know I am to thank Akai Usagi for the fan art though.

On another note - Here is a link to my LJ account. Please come here if you want to see update schedules/crack. If you would like to ask me questions, I shall answer them through there, if it is suitable for me to do so. www. renjinn.livejournal. com/ (remove spaces or just visit profile XD)

Also there is one thankyou I do need to make. That is to everyone who has reviewed. It is mind blowing. Honestly, I am so pleased at the sucess of this story. I hope everyone is enjoying it thus far. Any way! Here is chapter 4, I hope you enjoy!


Wholly Addicted To You - The one with brown, the five with silver.


-

-

"So… what are you making?"

"Hmm, you'll see."

"It better not be something disgusting… like mushrooms."

"You don't like mushrooms?"

"Blergh!" I stuck out my tongue and grimaced as I sat on the stool watching Riku move around his kitchen. For someone who had just moved in… he seemed to know exactly where everything was and moved to retrieved it efficiently. Which was a lot more that what I could say…

I spent the first three weeks trying to find my spatula which I desperately needed for my pancake fetish.

It ended up being in my underwear drawer.

"Stop being such a kid…" Riku clucked as he sprinkled some spices into a simmering pot of… something.

I pouted. "I'm not."

Riku chuckled as he smiled down at the pot with a fond smile. I watched on in interest as he moved to retrieve butter from the fridge. My eyes averted down to his cute little bum and I smirked dopily. Oh yes I could get used to this. It was like that ass had a personality of its own. Like, "Hello Riku and his bum." Kind of thing.

"Sora, stop staring at my ass and pass me the olive oil?"

I glanced up in surprise and saw Riku's mischievous grin. "I wasn't!"

His eyes sparkled. "Yes you were."

"But-!"

"Precisely. Now, the olive oil please?" I groaned and pushed the olive oil over to him then proceeded to sulk. Stupid Riku. Stupid Riku's bum.

From behind Riku's head I saw a ginger tail swishing and flicking. Leaning slightly to my right, I could see Mog sneakily on the counter top nicking bits of cut chicken and scoffing it greedily. Any bits that fell off the side didn't even hit the floor as Obly was waiting there with open jaws, licking his chops eagerly.

I swore every now and then Mog would look over the edge and look down at Obly victoriously. The little bastard was teasing! I smirked and slid off my stool over to Mog, who realised too late as I made a grab for him.

Picking him up and feeling immediately weighed down, I shuffled with the struggling fat cat over to the other side of the room, where I let him fall (hopefully on his feet) to the floor.

"Stay away from the food, fatty." I grinned and turned to walk extra quickly back to my stool just in case he decided to try bite my ankles. Obly panted happily and ran around my legs as though I was on his side. I looked down at him and gave him a dopey smile.

"That means you too." The tongue went back into his mouth as he stood there looking at me with what could only be described as extreme disappointed.

Hearing the sounds of slight chuckles, I looked up to see Riku licking his fingers free from the bolognaise sauce that he had dipped them into. My eyes widened slightly before giving his elbow a squeeze and reminding him that if the pets couldn't – then he certainly couldn't.

"But I'm the one cooking it." Riku retorted childishly as he threw me a saddened glare. I only snorted at this.

"Win next time and you won't have to."

Regaining his maturity level, Riku laughed smoothly and flicked his head slightly, making the ponytail he had pulled his hair into swish, loose strands flying with it. He continued to stir the bubbling pot and I found myself inhaling eagerly. Yum, it smelt so good!

"Mmm" I breathed contently, closing my eyes and smiling slightly as I breathed in again. Riku tilted his head to watch me through his bangs, amused by my antics.

"You —FUCK." He jumped back and clutched his hand to his chest, looking at me in horror, slightly bouncing on the spot. My eyes widened and I pulled my lips into the straightest line possible, trying not to start laughing.

"But Riku, we hardly know each other…" I chimed in giddily, my eyes following his slight bouncing. I rested my hands in between my legs on the stool as I leaned forward grinning.

"Did Riku bet a boo-boo?" I grinned.

He stopped his bouncing, still clutching his fingers in one hand against his chest and tried very hard to glare at me, showing how he was very much not amused right now.

"Would you like Dr. Sora to kiss it better?" I smirked, letting out a slight 'ha' as his eyebrow furrowed further. When he glared at the pot that he had burned his hand on and then lazily let his eyes travel back to me, still glaring, I did not expect him to walk right up in front of me and thrust his sore hand out to my face.

"Yes."

I looked down at his hand and then back up to his face, smiling slightly. "You big kid."

Raising my hand up to brush my fingers against his palm, I gripped his hand gently and brought it up to my nose; I kissed his burnt finger and then kissed each tip for good measure. There was a strange feeling of comfort having Riku's fingers trail along my lips – not that I'd tell him that.

He smiled fondly and then went back to stirring the food. I bit my lip as I watched him, was it me, or was he planning on feeding a bunch of hobo's too?

"Uh…Riku?" I glanced at him and the pot, raising an eyebrow. He tilted his head towards me and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Yes?"

"Why are you making so much?" Riku rolled his eyes at me. He rolled his eyes at me! I huffed and waited, sticking my bottom lip out.

"Sora, were you even listening to me earlier? I said I have some work colleagues joining us." I groaned, oh yes, Sephiroth and his three silver goons. Joy.

…What ever happened to the quiet nice meal that would eventually end with us bonking on the couch?

Was that so much to ask for? …Not that I wanted that or anything. No.

"Do they have to be here?" I half whined, swinging my foot back and forth, letting it hit the leg of the chair with dull thunks. I saw Riku's lip pull up into a quirk as he stared down at the pot.

"Why, Sora? So you can have me all to yourself?" He grinned.

…As a matter of fact, yes. What of it?

I sighed wiggling off my chair over to Mog, where I proceeded to hoist him over my shoulder and turn to half glare at Riku. "Me and Mog are going to go wash up. We'll see you in half hour or so." I grumbled then swung my head around and tried at least to look like I was strutting out the room.

I ended up looking like I was limping painfully as Mog was weighing me down. He meowed grumpily in protest but I hushed him and shuffled up Riku's stairs and through to his bathroom.

Swinging Mog off my shoulder, I let him fly through the hole where he plodded away on his feet, highly pissed off with me.

Oh well, see if I care!

I sighed and stumbled through the hole myself, slightly weary as I plodded down my hall. Shoving my head around the corner of my bedroom before entering; checking to see if that deranged man had left my house. Signalling that it was all clear, I sighed softly and made my way over to my dresser.

I could very faintly smell Riku's cooking wafting through my own halls. Hmm, it smelled delicious. I licked my lips and grabbed my towel as I headed back to my bathroom.

I hadn't had a shower ever since Riku had made that hole! To be honest, I didn't want Riku peeking in on me – who knows what I could be doing?

Err… only innocent stuff, before you say anything.

I stripped quickly and jumped into the shower, hopping from foot to foot trying to will away the goosebumps on my skin.

Fuck, it's drafty!

I turned the shower on to a comfortable warm spray and let the water hit my hair. Hmmm…. This is the life. Why were showers so goddamned orgasmic? I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd say they were better than sex!

But they're not.

I grabbed the shampoo bottle and squirted the lemon-scented goop into my hair. My fingers immediately set to work to scrub it into a foamy mass. My thoughts drifted back to Riku. They were doing that a lot, actually. Every time I found myself alone or spaced out… my thoughts would always be on my fiery neighbour.

Dear God, I had only known him for what… two days? What is wrong with me?

Well, it's not like it is entirely my fault! He was the one to intrude! I was happy with my mediocre little life before he kaboomed my bathroom wall!

Then again… I am happy now.

"Argh!" I moaned, letting my head bump the tile wall as the water washed away the shampoo.

All I could see behind my close eyelids was Riku. Swaying his hair, showing his smile, swinging his bum…

Damn, he had a nice bum.

Okay… this isn't helping. I need distraction. A song! Yes, a song. Which song? Hmm…

"I-I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night." I stumbled along. Grabbing the conditioner, I started to squeeze some into the palm of my hand.

"He's gotta be stroOOong..." I scrubbed it into my hair, hip starting to wiggle a little.

"He's gotta be faAAassst," I wasn't a great singer, but hey, I liked to give it a go. I stood under the spray, eyes closed and head bopping slightly.

"And he's gotta be fresh from the fiiiigght!" Grabbing the flannel and I started to scrub it over my body in a rhythm only I could hear. Sad? Yes. Distraction? Yes.

Mind off Riku? Perhaps.

"I neEEeed a HEROOO!"

"No, you'll need a miracle if you think that wailing of yours is considered singing."

"I'm- wait, what?" I opened my eyes and saw Ri- no. Not Riku. Someone else. Someone else I did not know. I did what any normal person would. I screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH---."

"Oy, I like my eardrums in one piece thank you, so kindly shut up." My mouth snapped together and as the silence encircled us I realised a very vital piece of information. I was naked. Very much so. Blushing very brightly my eyes scanned for my towel and grabbing it, I wrapped it around my waist. But – my nipples! My hands shot up and my palms pressed themselves to my nipples to hide them. Boy was I feeling violated.

What was with that grin?

Does he not know it is impolite to stare and grin at me when I am naked in my bathroom! In fact, why is he in my bathroom in the first place? My house is not a free-for-all, damn it!

Those eyes were not exactly comforting… Piercing green eyes, nearly the same shade as Riku's. Yet his were tinted with aggression, he looked more… bratty, to be honest. The guy raised his arm up to prop his elbow against the hole, leaning casually there as though he had been doing so for the last few months. Talk about confidence…

Given this silence was as good as any, I decided to ask one of the many needed questions that needed to be asked here…

"So ...uh… Who the fuck are you?"

Well okay, so it wasn't so polite, but fuck, I was standing in my shower nearly naked with a guy I do not know looking at me! I cannot stress this fact enough!

Raising one eyebrow at me and allowing that smirk to widen, he gave me a look that clearly said I should know. Well I don't, so some explaining please!

"Riku hasn't mentioned me yet? I cannot say I am not hurt." Walking forward he stopped right in front of me, those eyes were making me feel uncomfortable.

"Because he has talked non-stop about you... Sora."

My eyes widened and I swallowed hard. He leaned in further and reached out behind me to turn the shower off; all the while I could hear that slight suggestive chuckle escape his lips that were inches from my ear. I had the urge to jerk myself away but I was frozen to the spot.

The sounds of the last few water droplets making little splatter noises against the porcelain of the bath were the only sounds other than our breathing to fill the room.

"What…?" I could feel the smile.

"Oh yes… some very interesting things."

What. The. Fuck. That was not just his tongue on my ear. That was not just his tongue on my ear, no. I couldn't help but have my arm shoot out and shove him back. I vaguely heard him thud against something that wasn't a wall and my eyes widened further.

"Kadaj."

I saw the Riku-look-a-like roll his eyes and look up slightly behind his shoulder, where Riku looked back at him unimpressed, yet not particularly angry.

"Riku." He stated back, leaning onto Riku's chest and bringing up a hand to stroke at Riku's cheek playfully. Nudging his head to the side, getting Kadaj's hand away, Riku stated unaffected by Kadaj's actions. "The garden is downstairs, not upstairs, as well you know."

Standing up fully and tossing me a devious grin, Kadaj made his way to the hole. "Oops, my mistake." He drawled. Stepping halfway through and tossing his silver hair out of his eyes, he waved a dismissive hand.

"Silly me."

With that, he had wandered back into the domains of Riku's house. I let out a slight sigh of breath I had been holding and slumped back against the cool tiles behind me. Why is it that I have to deal with the wandering dogs, dribbling one-eyed hobos, sexy next door neighbours and their deranged acquaintances? I only ask for a normal life! And why for the love of nipples was Riku staring at mine?

My hands shot back up to covering them and I glared at him, a wet droplet deciding to drip from my hair and onto my nose, making me blanch and wrinkle my nose in discomfort.

Hearing chuckling come from Riku made me look back up to see he had grown a considerable amount closer than before, hand now gripping my bathrobe. He reached out and offered it to me. Taking it I was quick to slip it over my shoulders, letting the towel drop only after I had secured the bathrobe around my waist.

"Can I not get a shower in privacy anymore? It feels like a public shower room in here!" I stated in my undignified state. Riku smiled apologetically at me.

"Sorry, he slipped past me when I was wrestling with Mog to get the chicken leg back." Only then did I catch sight of the scratch he had along the topside of his hand. My face blasted into an angry expression as I grabbed Riku's hand and clambered out the bath, over to the sink where I rummaged for some cotton buds and treatment.

"That little bastard… Oh, thought he'd get away with that did he? Fucking little shit… Just you wait, Mog. You won't be laughing and using those claws when I starve you for a week, will you?" I continued to mumble under my breath as I took Riku's hand and started to dab at it gently.

"Sora, it's okay, honestly… Sora? …you aren't listening to me are you?" He sighed and watched me work at his hand in amusement.

"I apologise for Kadaj, he is very friendly. By friendly I mean up-close and personal. Well, only to the pretty people actually, he will go psycho if you put him near an ugly old coot."

I only nodded as I let his hand go and put the cotton buds away. Kadaj is scary. Kadaj is horny. Kadaj is to be no where near me at any given time. Right, got it.

Wait, or Riku. No where near Riku. That is all. I growled a little at the memory of Kadaj stroking Riku's cheek. That is a big no-no!

"…in 5 minutes." I blinked. Oh shit, I tuned out again.

"What?" Riku smirked; I think some how he knew I wasn't listening.

"You. Down stairs. In 5. Got it?" Oh, yes. Right… dinner… with Kadaj. I resisted letting out a groan.

"Yeah, I'll go get some clothes on." I sighed, smiling a little as Riku grinned.

"Why not just come in that? It suits you." My cheeks warmed and I hurried out my bathroom, only stopping to call back to him. "Maybe after dinner!"


-

"So… this is nice." A few nods around the dinner table were made in agreement.

Well, I only did mine so I didn't look rude. This was awkward.

The dishes were laid out over the table, various delicious smells wafting from each bowl. Mash, carrots, gravy. There were potatoes, chicken, ham, pork chops, a guy who couldn't stop crying and friend, cheese sauce, the pervert, wine, the gentlemanly God, bread sauce, oh-so-sexy Riku...

And me. Oh and the peas.

Yep, awkward.

I felt a little different here. There were only so many silver heads you could look at and not start wishing yours would suddenly turn just to blend in a little better. After having had Riku finish up in the kitchen seconds ago and joining us at the table, fingers slipping out of his ovenmits, we were all now seated and waiting for Riku to tell us to dig in.

I was actually quite amazed at him, the meal looked delectable. My mouth watered appreciatively just looking at it all! I didn't know what to go for first; those potatoes had my name written all over them.

Yes, so I was trying to occupy my mind away from the fact that Riku's friend, Loz, was it? Was crying over how nice the dinner looked.

I was resisting the urge to stand up shouting at him to "GROW SOME GODDAMNED BALLS!" I was thiiiiiis close, I swear.

"Is there anything anyone has to be thankful for before we start?" Riku asked a little louder-spoken to be heard over Loz.

"…yeah, I know I'm thankful for Riku's hot ass." Kadaj muttered, grinning. My eyebrows shot up and I had the sudden urge to practise my bat-swinging skills. Riku and Kadaj shared a look between them; Riku just gave Kadaj a pointed look that clearly read along the lines of 'Well, be thankful for what you see, because you won't be touching'.

I frowned and decided to stare at the peas. My like for this boy was deteriorating by the minute. Second even

"Well, dig in then. Don't overlook the vegetables either." Riku grinned as he picked up the mash bowl, ladling a spoonful onto his plate.

The rise of plates, knifes and forks and glasses chinking and clattering was heard as we all started clambering around to put generous amounts of food on our plates. It felt like a traditional family meal that I used to have when I was small. Except my family didn't contain perverts, Gods and cry babies.

…well, not Gods anyway.

My stomach decided to grumble quietly as my nose breathed in the smells. I realise only now that I am starving. Deciding not to eat all day so that I would enjoy the meal even more, my stomach growled at me constantly to stop teasing.

Hmm, what to have? The mash or the potatoes? Both. The pork chops or chicken? …Both. Carrots or peas? Damn it, both!

As I was piling a mound of food onto my plate I heard laughing. I looked up to see Riku looking at me and my plate in interest.

"…what?" I asked, fingers already wrapping themselves around my knife and fork.

"Where do you put it all Sora? There's not an ounce of fat on you…" He questioned, more rhetorical than anything.

"To his brain. Heck knows, he needs all the brain food he can get by the looks of things." Kadaj smirked before picking up a pork chop with his fingers, looking particularly evil ripping at it with his teeth.

Bastard. Hope you swallow the bone and die.

I stabbed a fork into my mash thinking it was Kadaj. Oh yeah, that was satisfying. Loz was quietly eating his food, resting his head on his arm, whilst Yazoo spared him a few glances here and there. Sephiroth was, of course, doing nothing out of the ordinary.

As for Riku, he was just passing uneasy looks at Kadaj, almost scowling. I raised one eyebrow and watched them out of the corner of my eye. On further inspection, why was Kadaj smirking like that? Jeez, I just wanted to rip that damned grin off his face and slap him with it. Why was Riku so fidgety?

Biting my lower lip I decided to check behind the scenes, or in this case, under the table. I dropped my fork on the floor, muttering a little 'oops'. Going unnoticed as every one was seemingly in to their own activity; I swooped down to pick up my fork, and caught sight of Kadaj's leg playfully rubbing up Riku's. What. The. Hell. Just what the hell does he think he is doing!

I couldn't help return to the upside of the table with a scowl. Riku passed a glance my way and I pretended not to notice. So, Kadaj… you want to think you can get away with accidentally feeling Riku up?

What if I were to think I could accidentally get away with kicking you in your big fat shin!

"Holy fuck!" Kadaj yelped as he pushed his chair out, grasping his shin and giving me a look of pure outrage. What can I say?

"Uh… sorry?" I attempted, I cannot say I sounded the least bit convincing. Riku looked between me and Kadaj, a bemused expression on his face. "What happened?" he asked.

"The little shit just kicked me in the shin!" My mouth fell open in surprise as he pointed a finger furiously in my direction.

"It was a foot spasm. I swear." I grinned, not quite sure why I was grinning so widely. Hey! It was hard to keep a straight face when Kadaj was wiggling his finger at me in accusation.

"Stop grinning you little fuckbag--!"

"Kadaj."

Kadaj had risen out of his seat and had started to lean over the table until Sephiroth's voice cut through the air. Kadaj grit his teeth and placed his hands non-too-gently onto the table, head hung low until he turned those sharp piercing eyes, half hidden between silver locks, towards Sephiroth.

"What?" Sephiroth rose his glass of wine to his lips and took a sip, studying the liquid before placing it down onto the table and tilting his head to address Kadaj.

"I have come here to enjoy a meal, not to be disturbed by your childish antics. Now either desist and sit down or get out of here." He spoke, leaving no room for argument. Kadaj just snarled and sat back down, picking up his fork and then stabbing it into his own mash. Huh, thinking that was me? Heh, likewise asshole.

His eyes caught mine shortly after and I grinned. Hey! He provoked me and I get revenge, fair right?

Wrong. He only seemed to blink at me as he clocked on because he grinned back. Yet his was a lot more demonic. My heart skipped a beat and I took no time averting my eyes to my food.

Damn, he scared me.

Shoving a couple of forkfuls worth of chicken in my mouth was a bad idea just then. I nearly choked as I saw Kadaj lean right close to Riku and squeezed his arm flirtingly.

"Riku, could you pass me cheese sauce?" He nearly whispered, making Riku cock an eyebrow and nod, backing away by a few millimetres.

"Sure." He reached over to where the cheese sauce lay right next to my elbow and picked it up. I watched as he pulled his arm back to where a smiling Kadaj waited. I saw one hand take the cheese sauce and the other sneak under the table to give a squeeze of appreciation. "Thanks" He smiled, placing down the sauce on the table, unused.

He didn't even use it! What the hell was with this guy! I'm going to set that one-eyed hobo on him! I am! I swear to God I'll do it!

He picked up his glass of wine and before placing it to his lips, mock saluting it to me. That little shit. I watched the red liquid slosh in the glass as he placed it back down and couldn't help the bad side of me shine through. Seriously, I was pissed off.

I leant over to 'grab the cheese sauce' and knocked the glass flying over Kadaj's lap in my path. Oh yes… Did you like that leather you were wearing Kadaj? I hope not!

"Whoops?" I offered. Deciding to quickly sit back in my chair and act innocent. Well, I am innocent.

Kadaj had frozen; he was looking down at his lap with such a hatred gaze that even I felt the hate waves he was sending me even when he had not spoken a word yet.

Was he alright? Did I go too far? I bit my lower lip, feeling a little guilty.

"Kadaj? I'm sor-ERK." I jumped back in my chair as he had suddenly attempted to lunge across the table and swipe at me. He narrowly missed grabbing my shirt before he began to swipe again. Riku grabbed his wrist and was now standing up, half leaning over the corner of the table to restrain Kadaj.

I was sat back in my chair, my heart beating faster and Loz had started crying again as a little wine had caught his cuff. Yazoo rolled his eyes and decided to pick a pea up between leather-clad finger and thumb and flicked it at Loz's head.

"Oy, stop crying."

"…I'm NOT crying." He frowned as he stared at the pea that had landed next to his plate. Riku, who had shoved Kadaj back in his seat picked up a pea from his own plate and threw it at Yazoo's head.

"You are just making him cry more, idiot." Yazoo closed his eyes just in time as the pea hit right between them, leaving a little wet mark where it had hit. He opened his eyes, grinned as he wiped the patch away and picked up a forkful of mash. Aiming at Riku's face, yet not firing.

Riku froze in place and raised one hand. "Yazoo. Don't. You. Dar-." Just as he pushed the last word out Yazoo had let go and the sound of mash hitting Riku's face resounded in the room. As lumps hit the floor, Riku growled.

Loz continued to cry, denying it or not.

Sephiroth had long since stood up and retreated to the front room. Not wanting to be associated with immature behaviour such as this.

After Yazoo has stopped laughing, Riku had already joined his side holding the pot of gravy. Yazoo who first was a little surprised to see Riku standing so close to him became alarmingly more aware of what he was holding.

"Ri-riku that's too far—." As the gravy poured in streams over Yazoo's head, Riku grinned, holding the jug of gravy high about Yazoo.

"No, Yazoo, that's too late. For you." He smirked, watching Yazoo stand there absolutely horrified. I would have laughed. Oh yes hysterically, but Kadaj was sitting in his seat where he was put, scaring the shit out of me with his looks.

Uh… hey?

I glanced at him and then back and Riku and Yazoo, who were now trying their best to take the cheese sauce to pour on each other, neither wanting to let it go, and decided I should try to move away quietly.

He was looking at me, but he wasn't moving? Hmm, should I try my luck? He could be broken.

I rose from my seat quietly, very aware that his hawk like eyes are following me, and as I took one step away from my chair, he had jumped out of is and around the table.

Hardly having time to even yelp, yet alone stumble backwards and away from the psychotic bastard, he had me on the floor with his hands gripping at my shirt and his snarling face right in my personal space.

"What are you doing?" I screeched, hands shooting up to his shoulders and gripping them, trying to push the idiot off me but he wasn't moving. Now he was smirking.

"Oops. I fell." He smirked, not even deterring when some cheese sauce hit the side of his cheek from somewhere in Riku's and Loz's direction.

Oh my fucking god. He was going to kill me wasn't he? He was actually going to slice me up into little piece and feed me to Mog. Oh woe is me!

I winced as the sauce slid from his cheek and onto my own. "Get the fuck off me! You psycho!" I yelled. Yet he was already reaching onto the table and pulling off two plates.

My eyes widened as I saw the mash plate and the bowl of peas come into sight. What the fuck was he planning to do to me? Feed me to death?

He trailed one hand down my chest, along my stomach and to the button of my trousers, by now of course I was nearly in hysterics …Riku! A little fucking help would be good just about now!

I felt my button being undone and I went to grab his hand away but his free hand grabbed my wrists. "Little boys should be careful around the dinner table. Accidents happen, right?" He cackled as he then picked the bowl of peas up and slid them under my trousers and tipped the bowl.

I screeched and squirmed as he threw the bowl to the side and pressed his hand down on the peas.

My eyes widened so wide as I felt the cold squishiness mulch around my pants. Holy fuck… it's so gross! I pulled the most distorted faces I could as he moved the peas around, I tried bucking my hips to get him off but it just made him laugh more.

"Oh, Sora… easy does it now. Excitement can cause accidents too. Just look how excited I am with this plate of mash in my hands." I swear his eyes glinted as he casually picked up the plate and smiled the widest demented smirk he could.

"You shithead!" I yelled at him just as he turned the plate upside down and smushed it into my face. Before I knew it the weight had lifted off my chest and I was shaking my head to get the lumps of food out of my eyes.

I lay there breathing heavily just looking above me at a familiar face who's hair was dripping in cheese sauce, he was smiling down at me cheerfully.

"You alright there, Sora?"

Riku. I hope you enjoy that chirpy attitude of yours because when I remove the peas from my soggy pants I'm going to be slapping them into your face.

"I've been better" I sigh, yet looking up at his face where bits of food was everywhere, I couldn't help but smile back. He chuckled and offered me a sticky hand to help me up with. I rolled my eyes and took it and he hoisted me to my feet.

I heard laughter and glanced up between mash-lined eyelashes to see Yazoo and Kadaj chuckling at me as peas were falling out of my shorts. I groaned.

"Suck cock, you two."

Yazoo raised an eyebrow. "That's an easy punishment."

"Enjoyable, actually" Kadaj stated, seemingly normal again after putting me through a decent revenge. There were a few silent minutes that passed between us until we picked up on the sounds of licking.

Seeing that it was coming from the side corner of the room, we all discovered that Mog and Obly were happily licking away at the food covered floor, looking ecstatic.

We laughed.


-

"Stop laughing at me."

"I can't. You looked so funny getting up those stairs."

"You would too if you have peas down your trousers."

Riku let out another hearty chuckle as he leant against the bathroom doorframe, watching me clamber out of my shorts. As they fell to the floor, there were visible lumps of green smeared to the inside. A few stray intact peas rolled a short distance, mockingly.

I tried my best to ignore the fresh waves of Riku's laughter as I looked down the mess and pouted.

"I'll clean it up for you. Wait here; I have a spare pair of trousers." He padded out the room and I stood there, clad in my cold pea-stained boxers.

"…"

I didn't feel the urge to tell Riku we could have just got a pair of my own from my house. Instead I just stood, bare feet cold against the tiles waiting for Riku to return. I absent mindedly d-wegied myself as I thought about Riku's guest. After helping to clear things up, where Sephiroth refused to help at all, they decided it was time to leave.

Kadaj had grabbed me in a headlock and ruffled my hair before releasing me and grinning. "You're not bad, kid." He had stated before walking out the door. I resented that remark; he didn't look that much older than me. I was not a kid! If he would stop flirting with my Riku then he'd be okay too.

…Maybe.

"How's it coming?" Riku asked, walking back into the room carrying a pair of fitted black combats and a pair of red boxers.

"I think I have a pea in between my buttcheeks." I stated, hands grabbing at my boxers to pull them back out, pulling a face while I was at it.

I took the clothes and pushed Riku back out of his bathroom, ignoring his protests of 'Hey! It's my bathroom!' and pushed the lock closed. I wiggled out of my pants and washed my…. Myself down.

Pulling on the new boxers and the combats, which felt too comfortable to be true, I went to grab the lock, but stopped myself mid-step. Instead I placed my foot onto the toilet seat and brought my knee up to smell the clothes.

Mmm... Riku smelt so nice.

Going all giddy, I opened the lock and saw Riku waiting outside the door, stroking Mog behind the ears. Obly was there on the floor looking up at the two watching Riku's hand intently, wondering when it was his turn for scratchies.

"Uh… thanks. For the clothes that is." I mumbled, glancing down at myself the same time Riku inspected me.

"They fit you well." He spoke, eyes flickering back up to my eyes.

I nodded and looked to the floor. "Thanks, I can return them to you tomorrow. I should get goi-."

I stopped mid sentence seeing as Riku raised an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I said.

"Do you think the meal is over yet? The deal was dinner and the looser cooks. No meal is ended without dessert. Come on." He took my hand into his and tugged me close to his side, turning around and leading us back down his hall and down his stairs, animals in tow.

Reaching the kitchen he directed me into his living room and told me to wait in there.

I plonked down on the sofa and let out a giant sigh. I really didn't have anything better to do; it would be nice to get the mash out of my hair though. Mog jumped up (with great difficulty) and sat on the arm rest. I gave him a quizzical look and he ignored me by sitting down and closing his eyes lazily.

"So… one slice or two?" Riku had entered the room holding a beautifully decorated cake with a knife and two plates. My mouth opened as I saw the delicious frosty coated icing sitting on top of a mouth watering triple-layer chocolate cake. My finger twitched wanting to reach out for it yet I prevented myself from doing so.

…hey, I didn't exactly eat much of that dinner now, did I?

"How long did it take you to make?" I whispered in admiration. He set the cake down on the coffee table and took a seat beside me. "…I can't remember." He answered, cutting me a slice and himself a slice.

Mog was wrinkling his nose at the smell. Yeah, I would be too if I knew there was a slim chance of me not getting any.

I picked it up and went to take a bite before Riku stopped me. "Whoa, whoa, whoa… wait a minute there. You ruined my civil dinner party today, what makes you so sure that I'm not upset about it?" He raised an eyebrow and looked on at me in interest.

I lowered the cake from where it was so close to my mouth and frowned. Come to think of it, I really was the one who started it all.

Kadaj was only fondling Riku in sight of me; Riku isn't mine so there was no reason for me to stop him. Yet I did.

Oh boy did I alright. I tried my best to refrain from grinning as I looked up at Riku.

"I really am sorry." I heard him snort at me.

"Not good enough." Good! Now time for cak--. What!

He wasn't going to accept my apology? But I really did mean it! How could he not accept it, that's being rude not to, isn't it?

"But Riku! Why not?" I whined, looking down at my cake, tastes buds going crazy as I just watched it sit there begging to be eaten.

"I slaved away all day preparing this wondrous meal for you all. I bought, I washed, I prepared everything. I cooked, I perfected. I spent so much time with this meal and it all got thrown back into my face. Literally." He looked sad, as though he was heart broken.

Hey, I didn't know that. It was true though… he had spent all day on this. Damn, now I feel guilty.

"Sorry, Riku. Is there anything I could do to make it up to you?" I asked, hand reaching out and landing on his knee, so I could angle myself to look at him better.

Big mistake.

He looked back at me through his bangs and smirked. He smirked an all-knowing smirk, a mischievous smirk which I didn't quite like the looks of.

To put it simply?

Fuck.

He took hold on my wrist and tugged it so that I was in his lap. I nearly dropped my plate but was miraculously able to keep hold of it and I now found he had slid his arms around my waist.

"As a matter of fact… there is." He grinned, looking satisfied as my cheeks had managed to warm considerably.

"What is that?" I feared to ask, although if it was to sit here and let him feed me cake with that then leading on to us romping many times on this couch, then I cannot see myself disagreeing, at all.

"…Let me take you out tomorrow night, then you shall be forgiven." He breathed close to my ear.

He wants to willingly take me out tomorrow? To do what? Shoot me?

The dinner didn't mean that much to him, did it?

"Are you sure? You wouldn't rather kill me instead?" I offered, deciding that if he were to do it, then he may as well do it now where there'd be cake for me to enjoy. Riku chuckled and shook his head, hair swaying gently.

"Of course. I rather like to take dates out alive, thank you." My eyebrows shot up and I nearly dropped my plate again. The cake had over the period of this conversation slid sneakily to the edge. Did he just say date? As in him and I. Me and him? Together… alone?

Holy fuck!

Well... okay so we are alone together right now, him and I. Me and him...

But that's not the point!

"Why?" I asked, quite stupidly.

"You cannot question my reasons! Every one knows that…" He laughed, picking up his own plate and with his fingers he broke off a piece. Raising it, I expected him to pop it into his mouth so I was surprised to see it being pressed to mine.

"Tell me how it tastes…" He whispered; breath tickling my ear as I opened my mouth to let him push the cake in. As his fingers brushed my lip I was shooting myself inside as I realised my tongue had darted out to lick his finger and thumb, on their own accord.

His fingers lingered on my lips as I chewed and swallowed and only then did I also realise that my skin was prickling at the sensation.

"Well?" He asked, quite husky in tone.

"…Delicious." I said. Noticing how my breath was slightly rugged. Riku 'hmm'ed as his hand slid up the back of my shoulders to rest buried between the hairs at the nape of my neck. I shuddered as I looked up at Riku.

"I'd like to find out…" He breathed and my eyes landed on those lips. Mmmm….

As my eyes were on those lips, I knew I was leaning in closer to them. Or was that him leaning in closer to me? Holy fuck it didn't matter…

His breath tickled my lip and just as I was going to let him have that taster of his, I pulled back at the jolting action my arm was doing… I could have died as I saw Mog battering my piece of cake off the plate and onto the floor. I jolted up, placed the plate on the table and screeched after Mog who was now carting off with my cake in his mouth.

THAT. LITTLE. FUCK.

"MOG. Get back here! You asshole! Get back here THIS instance!" I was infuriated. I stomped heavily with clenched fists after him who had high tailed it around the back of the sofa. Stomping around the back, I lunged for him but he pressed himself low and practically wobbled his fat thighs past me as I picked myself off the floor.

I cannot believe this was happening to me!

I growled low in my throat as I saw that fat butt turn the corner of the kitchen. As I loudly made my way past Riku who was on the sofa still, looking at me with a mix of amusement and disappointment, my eye twitched as I rounded the corner to the kitchen.

That cat's chance of survival?

None. None at all.

The little bastard was sitting in front of the chair, trying his best to devour my slice of cake as quickly as possible. I nearly screeched at him in annoyance and stormed after him, he shuffled backwards dragging the cake slice as I threw myself at him, crashing into the bin and knocking it over, me tumbling down with it.

As I was dazed and covered in rubbish, Mog clambered up the stairs and to safety.

I groaned loudly and let my head fall back and gently hit the wall behind me. This sucked so much.

"Are you having fun there, Sora?" I looked up to see Riku leaning casually against the table near where I landed.

"I was." I mumbled, rolling my eyes down at the rubbish covered floor. Jeez, what a mess….

…wait a minute…

My eyes landed on a crumpled up white box, a lovely silver logo on it stating it was from 'ArCakenum' the local cake shop three streets away from here. Riku's eyes followed mine and when landing on the cake box, he realised, eyes widening.

"RIKU, YOU BOUGHT THAT CAKE!" I yelled, standing up and started to make my way threatening over to Riku, who started to back away, hands raised in defence.

"YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Now, Sora… I can explain…"

That, ladies and gentlemen, will be the last line he'll ever say.


A/N - There we have it! Don't forget to review or pimp my LJ! Much love