13thsense, I'm not doing this in order; I'm just doing it to whichever I feel like doing.


Feed Me

Hans waited at the top of one of New York's buildings while pacing around in a impatient looking way. He was awaiting the animal he had arranged to meet with; and he was actually very terrified to meet him. Outside; he was a confident, impatient looking puffin but deep down; he was scared to the bone of the meeting to come.

Hans froze when he heard a hissing noise, and it wasn't long to he felt warm breath being blown against his back. The puffin whirled around and raised his wings up defensively.

In front of him was Savio the Boa Constrictor.

"Hello…" Savio smiled crookedly. Hans lowered his wings but not completely. Savio was a sneaky customer and he needed to be careful and cautious, and most of all, paranoid. "Hello Savio," Hans greeted slowly.

"You don't look happy to see me. No matter. What do you need from my services?" Savio asked, his tongue flicking out. "It's not easy to get out of Hoboken and all the way here you know."

"I need you to help me eliminate the penguins," Hans told the snake that was now circling him.

"A team up?" Savio inquired but looked intrigued at the prospect.

Hans didn't take his suspicious and cautious gaze off of him as he answered, "Yes, a team to destroy those penguins once and for all. That doctor mammal fish might have failed, but I think we can do it together."

"What's in it for me?"

"Well…" Hans rubbed the back of his head nervously as Savio closed the circle around him. He hadn't thought that he would get this far. "What do you want?"

"Food. It must be blood. Its got to be fresh." Savio licked his chops.

Hans grimaced. "Savio that's just disgusting."

"Feed me now," Savio hissed impatiently, wrapping his body around the puffin in a attempt to get him to do what he wanted. "I'm starving."

"Why do I have to do it?" Hans coughed, trying to get out of the snakes grip. "Why can't you find food for yourself?"

Savio brought his head close to the puffins. "You won't be noticed but a snake will. Get me some food and feed me," Savio ordered.

"But…" Hans attempted but was cut off by the snake.

"Feed me!" Savio hissed.

Hans gulped. "Does it have to be human?" he asked.

Savio glared at him, eye piercing through his own, still demanding, "Feed me!"

"Does it have to be mine?" Hans was hoping he didn't have to give this devious snake his own blood. That's just disgusting. Hans shivered.

"Feed me!" Savio demanded again.

"Where am I suppose to get it?"

"Feed me Hans... Feed me all night long," Savio sang smoothly as he drawled out the puffins name. He loosened his grip on Hans, and the puffin wasted no time in jumping away from the snake. "Ha! That's right bird! You can do it. Feed me Hans...feed me all night long." Savio laughed evilly.

"How am I suppose to feed you?" Hans asked desperately. He needed those penguins gone now, and Savio was making it difficult to get the job even started.

"I'll make it worth your while." Savio slithered around the puffin again.

"What?" Hans stared at him suspiciously and raised his wings again.

"You think this is all coincidence? The sudden large amount of people around here? The press coverage? Who's to say I can't do anything I want."

"Like what?" Hans asked, getting suspicious now.

"Like deliver pal." Savio poked his chest repeatedly with the tip of his tail. "Like, see how you get everything your scared, greasy heart desires!"

Hans lowered his wings. "Which would be?" he inquired.

"Would you like a Cadillac car?" Savio asked in a singing voice. Wrapping his tail around the puffin once more, just to intimidate him to do what he wanted.

"I can't drive," Hans interrupted blankly and crossed his wings over his chest.

"Or a guest shot on Jack Paar?"

"I don't know who that even is!" Hans exclaimed, getting very impatient.

"How about a date with Heady LeMarr?" Savio winked. "You gunna get it, if you want it baby."

"A date? I just want to get rid of those silly penguins." Hans forcefully ripped himself out of the Boas grip, loosing some feathers along the way.

Savio's tongue flicked out again as he hissed, "Consider it a bonus."

Hans sighed. "Go on…" the puffin muttered reluctantly.

Savio grinned sadistically and continued to sing. "How'd ya like to be a big wheel, dinning out for every meal? I'm the snake that can make it all real, you gonna get it."

"I am?" Hans scratched the back of his feathered head. He jumped out of the way when the snake tried to grab him again. "Nice try," Hans snorted.

The boa snake laughed. "I thought you would never catch on." His sadistic smile grew. "I'm your genie, I'm your friend, I'm your willing slave!"

Friend? Hans thought. What's this snakes game? Hans eyed him suspiciously, ready to spring into action if he needed to.

"Take a chance, just feed me and you know the kind of eats, the kind of red hot tastes, the kind of sticky licky, treats I crave!" Savio sang loudly, showing his mouth and sharp teeth. Hans shivered and cowered in fear at the sight. Savio slithered to the scared puffin till he was looming over him. He poked his chest with his tail tip while singing, "Come on Hans, don't be a putz. Trust me and your life will surely rival King Tut's." He slapped the ground in front of the puffin, causing a loud smack that made Hans flinch. "Show a little initiative, work up some guts, and you'll get it!"

Hans frowned and walked a couple of feet from the Boa. He gained a thoughtful face as the words sunk in. If he could get something for this Boa to eat, then he could finally get his revenge on the penguins and more. Still…he wasn't sure. Was it worth killing a person to get what he wanted? "I don't know," Hans sang.

"Come on bird!" Savio glared while trailing behind the pacing, singing puffin.

"I don't know!" Hans shook his head.

"Lighten up." Savio rolled his eyes.

"I have so, so many strong…reservations!"

"Tell it to the marines." Savio flicked his tail tip crossly.

"Should I go and perform mutilations?" Hans gulped and looked at the ground thoughtfully.

Savio laughed darkly at this and slithered up to the puffin. "You didn't have nothing until you met me. Come on kid, what will it be? Money?"

"Why on earth would I need money?" Hans glared. "I'm a puffin for pity sake!"

Savio ignored him and continued to talk in a singing voice, "Girls? One particular girl? Think it over. There must be someone you could eighty-six real quiet like and get me some lunch!"

"Well…" Hans hummed thoughtfully.

"Think about a room at the Ritz. Wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz. A little nookie gonna clean up your zits, and you'll get it." Savio laughed.

"I don't have zits!" Hans protested.

Savio chuckled as he said, "Keeping thinking that. Now, what do you want?"

Hans, once again, looked thoughtful. "Gee, I'd like a Harley Machine," Hans sung.

"Yeah!" Savio slithered around the singing puffin. Maybe I'm getting to him, Savio thought and flicked his tongue out again.

"Tooling around like I was James Dean, making all the guys on the corner turn green." Hans smiled smugly at the thought.

"So go get it!" Savio encouraged. "If you want to be profound, if you really got to justify!" He wrapped his tail around him and lifted the bird off the ground before setting him back down. "Take a breath, look around, a lot of people deserve to die!"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Hans shook his head furiously. "That's not a very nice thing to say!"

"But it's true, isn't it?" Savio flicked his tongue out again and chuckled lowly.

"No! I don't know anyone who deserves to be chopped up and fed to a hungry snake!"

Savio laughed and slyly said, "Sure you do."

"I do?" Hans tilted his head to the side in confusion.

Savio wrapped his tail around Hans and brought him to the edge of the building. He released him and looked over the edge, signaling the puffin to do the same. Savio gestured to Hans to look at what was across the building on the other side of the road.

A man was riding a motorcycle across the street and stopped at a apartment looking building. He jumped off his motorcycle and watched as it stopped on its own. He looked up suddenly, anger visible in his eyes at something the puffin couldn't see.

"Stupid woman!" the man shouted. "Christ, what a frigging scatterbrain!"

Just then, Hans noticed a woman running over to him shouting, "I'm sorry doctor!" the woman apologized. "I'm sorry doctor!" She nearly tripped over his motorcycle as she came running down the sidewalk. The doctor glared angrily at her. "I'm clumsy doctor, I'm clumsy doctor!" the women repeated in a hoarse voice.

He forced her inside the building, but Hans and Savio were still able to see them. "Get the door open, you little slut!" the doctor shouted at her.

"I'm trying doctor, I'm trying doctor!" The woman panicked as she fumbled with the keys in her hands. She finally unlocked and they both entered the room, but the two spectators were still able to see them from the window.

"Get the vitals. Quick, the vitals!" the doctor shouted.

Woman shook her had and shouted in despair, "I'm out of it!"

"What?" he exclaimed angrily. He gripped her shoulder so she couldn't run and slapped her across the face.

Hans felt himself grow angry at the way he treated her. He turned to Savio with a death glare on his face. Then they both started singing, "If you want to rationale it isn't very hard to see! No, no, no! Stop and think it over pal!" They both sang with a dark tone to their voices. "The guy sure looks like snake food to me! The guy sure looks like snake food to me! The guy sure looks like sake food to me!"

"He's so nasty, treating her rough!" Hans sang angrily and clenched his wings together as a burning hatred rose up inside of him.

"Yeah! Smacking her around and always acting so tough!" Savio slithered circles around the puffin.

"You need blood and he's got more than enough!" Hans sang loudly on top of the building.

Savio smirked evilly; the puffin was finally coming around. "I need blood and he's got more than enough!" Savio chuckled darkly.

"You/I need blood and he's got more than enough!" they sang together.

"So go get it!" Savio poked the puffins chest with the tip of his tail. Hans nodded and without a second thought, jumped off the building. He landed on a umbrella and bounced off of it and landed on the cars roof. He jumped over each car to get to the other side of the street.

After the very last car; he jumped and landed on the ground. He quickly darted to the side of the apartment building and looked at the window nervously.

Was he really ready to kill someone?

He stopped thinking about it when the doctor came out of the building. Hans didn't think and tackled the man. He swiftly knocked him out with a kick on the back of the head. Hans still needed to kill him; however. A knife. He needed a knife.

Hans looked inside the apartment building. Surely somewhere in there would be a knife. He inched inside and looked around cautiously. He jumped inside the first and only opened room he saw and hid in the shadows.

The same woman he had saw earlier was crying on the ground in what he assumed was the living room.

He glared as he remembered the doctors actions toward her. He was doing the world a favor.

Quick as a flash, Hans zipped across the floor into the next room, which happened to be the kitchen. He looked up at the counters and immediately saw large butcher knives. The puffin jumped onto the counter and took the largest and sharpest one. He held it carefully in his wings and did a large jump back down into the doorway. Hans glanced at the woman again, who was still crying and not paying any attention to him.

He took the opportunity and ran across the room and out into the apartments hallway and back outside. He saw the doctor stirring; and he knew he wouldn't be for long. He took the knife and, without any sense of mercy or hesitation, stabbed the man where his heart was.

The doctor gasped in pain with blood coming out of his mouth. He looked up and saw the knife, and tried to grab the knife before he lost his last breath, but Hans slammed his skull back down, making a sickening crunch sound. Then the man laid motionless.

Hans stared at him for a while. He made his first kill. It didn't actually feel as bad as he thought it would have been. He wanted to stab him a few more times just for good measure, but Savio wouldn't appreciate the large amount of blood loss. So with that in mind; Hans grabbed the mans arm, and dragged him away into the alleyway and waited for the Boa, who he knew had been watching.

It wasn't long till the Boa came into the alleyway. It was fast, considering that he was on the roof on the building across the street.

Savio licked his lips as the sight of the fresh corpse. He slithered over to it and, without a single word spoken, started swallowing the human whole.

Hans grimaced and felt like puking his guts out right there; but he held it all in.

Once Savio was finished, he burped and a bone came out. "Sorry about that," Savio chuckled and flicked the bone away with his tail. "Sometimes I can't keep everything down."

Hans look became disturbed but he washed it off as he asked, "So will you help me now with the penguins? We are a team now, yes?"

Savio came up close to Hans but stopped a few feet away, and what he said made Hans blood run cold. "This partnership was never meant to be. I'm still hungry though, and I have been meaning to taste a bird for quite some time now." Savio licked his blood covered lips and lunged at the puffin with a large opened mouth.

The last thing Hans ever saw was sharp teeth.


Feed Me from Little Shop of Horrors. I adjusted the lyrics to how it would go best for the situation, so some might be altered and deleted. Don't hate me for it, but it helps it fit better. I might have missed some lyrics, but I'm not perfect. Hope you enjoyed.