Title: Once Upon A Dream (part 4/4!!!)
Genre: Drama/General(ly fucked up)
Characters: Roxas, Axel, Hayner/Pence/Olette ... Sora!
Summary: Sora wakes up, but Roxas keeps dreaming. Which part is the dream and which part isn't? He isn't so sure anymore.
Notes: Everything is explained in this part; things I found to be unclear and little author notes are at the end. Details about the fic, about what I thought while writing it, etc etc. Two sequels are already planned (the bunny exploded, it seems) and even an 'intermission' fic. Thank you for following Once Upon A Dream 'till now, and I hope you continue to follow the 'verse! If. I ever do write the other parts, haha.
Feeling a little -- regret?
-----
Axel has to stay the night, Roxas is told.
He's been gnawing at his thumbnails and the news make him even more nervous than he already is. It's as if fifty billion different things are going on inside his head (like-- this and that and what is what) and he's not even sure if they all have anything to do with what's happening.
But -- it doesn't matter. Axel will be fine. He's sure of it.
He can't stay with him, the nurse adds -- he's only half listening, looking at the walls of the hospital, almost fascinated (they're all so white it seems familiar) -- he'll have to come back tomorrow.
He barely manages to struggle when the nurse gently guides him out the door. Axel will still be there tomorrow, she swears.
While Roxas walks away, he realizes that it's what he's scared of.
Axel won't die. He just can't.
(He has no life to give, and the thought makes Roxas choke.)
-----
Roxas can't fall asleep no matter how much he tries.
(Maybe if I sleep it'll all be a dream and I'll wake up, he thinks.)
-----
When Roxas visits Axel the next day, he's stopped by the same nurse.
"Are you family," she asks him.
Of course I'm not, he almost says, but realizes if he does say that, he might not get to see him.
"I'm his cousin," he blurts without thinking.
She raises an eyebrow but lets him through. If he was dying she'd let him see him even if he wasn't family, he tries to reassure himself.
Or maybe she wouldn't have. Roxas walks a little faster.
-----
Axel lays on the hospital bed and he turns his head towards him. He grins weakly and Roxas tries to smile back.
"They tell you yet?"
Axel's voice is normal despite his pale face and Roxas relaxes a little. He shakes his head and Axel turns his head towards the ceiling.
"I'm dying," Axel says, grin still in place. Roxas freezes and tries to open his mouth, to say something, anything, but Axel continues, unbothered, "I've been ever since--"
He sees Axel's mouth move but can't hear the words. He tries to read Axel's lips, desperately (his ears are blocked or he's turning deaf or he's trying not to register it, but he's not hearing anything and this isn't the time to make Axel repeat himself) and can make out the word "nobody". Roxas swallows. He misread, he thinks. Must have.
"But why didn't you --"
Axel cuts him off with a look and Roxas closes his eyes. Why didn't you tell me, he thinks, and notices Axel sitting up slowly. He looks at him, completely bewildered.
"Help me up, will you," he mutters and Roxas scrambles to help him.
Axel leans against him and he doesn't look like he's dying. Roxas wants to speak, to say anything at all, but Axel cuts him off again. (As if he doesn't want to hear him.)
"Get me back home, will you?"
Roxas can't possibly say no.
Roxas can't possibly say anything, right now.
------
Roxas isn't sure how they bypassed the nurses and doctors, but he couldn't care less, right now. He helps Axel slump against the couch ("Wouldn't wanna bleed on it, y'know?") and half kneels next to him.
His voice is finally working again and Axel lays down on the floor, his breathing shallow. If Roxas concentrates, he can almost make out dark particles, floating out of Axel. (He must be dreaming, and, oh, wouldn't that be so better, just to be dreaming again.)
"Axel," his voice sounds odd, he thinks, but continues, "What were you trying to do?"
Coming here, he thinks, doing all that Axel did, what had he been trying to do, all this time? Axel isn't looking at him anymore.
"I wanted to see," Axel's voice changes, as if the words aren't coming out from the same mouth, "you. You...are," and then Axel's lips are moving but no sound is coming out. Roxas wants to scream at him but no sound is coming out of his mouth, either, it's as if he's frozen, as if he's not controlling his body and what he wants to say -- he wants to say
I wanted to see you, too. I dreamed about you.
But he can't, and he can't hear Axel's dying words (because he is, he thinks, he's dyingdyingdying and Roxas can't even hear him) and Roxas is shaking, holding onto Axel. He's stopped moving, and his body is cold.
Roxas gags and looks away, anywhere but at Axel and then he sees it. The portrait Axel had just finished earlier. Of him. 'It just needs to dry, then I'll show it to you,' he had said.
He gets up shakily and reaches it. He turns it in his hands and lets it fall almost immediately.
It's definitely him. But then, as if Axel had changed his mind, the pictures changes and depicts someone else. Someone he knows…far too much.
Sora.
He must be dreaming, Roxas thinks, shoulders shaking hysterically, he must be dreaming and he'll wake up and this will all have been a dream again.
He'll wake up. He wants to, so he'll wake up.
(Wake up!)
And he wakes.
------
Roxas is wearing his black coat. He's not sure how he summoned Sora to this place. He's not sure where this place is. Another dream, another reality, who cares, Sora is here and he's so angry at him, he doesn't care.
The Oblivion keyblade appears in his hand and he tightens his grip on it.
"A Keyblade?"
Sora sounds so surprised to see another with one. He runs at him and hits with it -- he hasn't forgotten how at all. He summons them both to another place he recognized that one, now, The World That Never Was, that vast abandoned city, and he remembers everythingThey run at each other, locking Keyblade against Keyblade. He's not sure what he wants to do.
"Who -- who are you?!"
He doesn't even know who I am, Roxas thinks bitterly, and smiles under the hood. He's not sure, either.
"Someone from the dark."
They push each other back and he has both of his Keyblades out by now, against Sora's one. It looks decidedly like -- he stops the thought there.
"You can't be... Riku?"
The name is so familiar, and he remembers everything but the thoughts are jumbled. Riku is -- Oh.
"Riku? ...I defeated a Riku once."
Maybe. Or maybe it had been another dream. Sora looks so offended that his expression makes Roxas almost want to laugh.
"You what?"
He's not here to play with Sora, though. He just wants an answer.
"Tell me. ... Tell me why he picked you!"
And he runs at him, keyblades grinding against the floor and they clash, keyblade against keyblade against keyblade, completely ignoring any rules or what could be going on around them, except for each other. They fight up in the air, even, and Roxas stops when Sora goes down. He can -- he sees, now, he thinks.
"I see. That's why."
He sees why but he doesn't understand, still, and he's so angry at him so he floats down and attacks again, bashing both Keyblades against Sora's one (it looks so much like --) but again, he stops the thought there, until Sora is down on his knees and has his weapon thrown out of reach with by the Oathkeeper. Sora tries to scramble towards it but Roxas is faster and pins the fallen Keyblade to the ground, he points the Oblivion at Sora. He won.
But Sora closes his eyes and holds out his hand and the Keyblade goes back to him --
"What?!"
-- and Sora slashes at him. Roxas lets go of his keyblades and staggers forward.
------
He sees a flash of his "birth" in Twilight Town, Xemnas talking --
"A new you."
------
He's back on the train tower. Back in Twilight Town.
All he had seen, he thinks, drawing his knees up, all he had lived while Sora was searching for his friends again, it had all been a dream. It had all been fake. He hides his face in his knees and hugs them, looking at the sunset. Everything was fake. Everything was always fake.
"Finally woken up?"
He gasps and turns.
"Axel."
This one is real -- as real has he can be when Roxas is in his own consciousness, but he thinks, maybe they did this before and he tries not to look too happy. Axel stays silent and doesn't look back at him.
"No, maybe you're going to sleep."
He had been sleeping for a while, he thinks. Sometimes he had woken up, though. Hadn't he?
"Soon, I won't even be able to talk to your consciousness like this."
Roxas turns back. So they had talked like this before. Consciousness to consciousness.
"I... I'm going back to how I was."
Back to Sora, he thinks. Back to the dreams, maybe. Axel sits down next to him, still talking.
"I've thought about it a lot," he says, "Naminé said the same the same thing. Roxas..."
He turns back to Axel and wants to ask -- How is Naminé? How are you, maybe. But he knows the answer and so he lets him talk.
"You have a heart, don't you? While Naminé and I...We don't really have hearts, do we?"
Roxas thinks, but you do have a heart. I've felt it. Or maybe I haven't.
"I ... I don't know, either."
Axel looks disappointed and Roxas thinks he had meant it some other way. It hadn't gone out of his mouth right.
"I guess not..."
He tries to make his point again.
"But, the heart's not something you can see," he starts, "I've started wondering whether it's something you can't feel, either...If so, then--" Roxas stops himself. It would probably sound stupid. "Nah, nevermind."
"Huh? What're you getting at?"
He smiles and looks at the sunset. He thinks he's finally got it.
"I'm sure Sora'll find the answer," he starts, then pauses and goes on, "Because he's me."
Axel looks amused a little.
"I guess so."
------
Axel pulls out two ice-creams from the depths of his coat, and offers one to Roxas. They both eat them, acting as if nothing had happened. As if they were both alive, as if they're time wasn't limited, as if Roxas was still in his dream world and Roxas feels deliriously happy at the idea. They speak like the best friends they are, not like strangers.
------
"So... I have to go. Sora's waiting for me."
"Yeah, I guess he is."
But Roxas doesn't go just yet. Just a little longer, he thinks. With the real Axel.
------
"See you later, Axel."
Roxas smiles and thinks he sees a tear fall down Axel's cheek.
"See you later, partner."
At the very least, Roxas thinks, at the very least, Axel,
I'll see you in my dreams.
-----
He stumbles and his hood falls off. He turns to Sora and smiles.
"You make a good other."
(So, we can be together again!
In my dreams)
AUTHOR NOTES!
First! I'm aware that I abuse italics far too much. Second, as I said before, I have absolutely no knowledge in paint, except the few classes in art we did paint in seventh grade and my decorative paint classes. It made writing this incredibly awkward XD;;; but the painting idea wouldn't leave me, so.
This idea was born from a mix of things -- the main musical inspiration was "Once Upon A Dream" from Sleeping Beauty, for example, which is where the basic idea came from. Seeing someone in their dreams...(of course, I say that, but really, it was more of my musical inspiration...)! Other things that made this bunny come to life included the new Final Mix+ scene, and Roxas's "see you later, Axel". Roxas truly believes he'll see him again, which is weird, because at that point, Axel is DEAD. That one sentence has been the birth (and death) of a lot of plotbunnies. Another thing was the fake Twilight Town and all those dreams Roxas seemed to be having before. Roxas and Sora are peculiar in that they don't react strongly to weird stuff and will believe everything is going normally until the last second. They won't tell anyone anything, too. (I'm talking of the introductions, here!)
So the main idea was Roxas seeing Axel again (which is something every fanfic writer thought about at least once...at least, those who write Axel or Roxas, haha), something to do with dreams and Axel not remembering Roxas. Why? Because I wanted to switch their positions around. See if Roxas was going to be as drastic as Axel. (Nope, not at all! Then again, Roxas isn't nearly as melodramatic as Axel...sorry, Axel.)
The major scenes in this are definitively the first time Roxas paints on Axel -- it comes from a fanart I've seen, Axel with a painted heart on his chest -- and the second. Because Axel looks like he's wearing eyeliner, but the other stuff could be natural, knowing KH. So I wanted to play with them not being natural and Roxas being "... wtf?! IT WASN'T NORMAL?" about it. XD;; There's also obviously the first time Roxas sees Axel again and Axel doesn't remember and the first time Roxas wakes up and believes The Sixth Day had been a dream. The death scene was a major turn-point, but I don't like it (I really, really don't. Waaaah, I suck. :( ) and there's the lighter scene. Don't ask me where it came from, I just wanted to incorporate Axel's fire tendencies. Paintings burn really easily and most artists have a drastic way of destroying the works they hate! Also, really, Axel doesn't seem like a smoker to me.. I really like the scene where Axel asks Roxas if he can paint him, too...
Aaaah, in a lot of the fic, there are moments where Roxas's reality doesn't make sense -- buildings changing, the town being different, having multiple paints when he brought just the one -- which are clues that this is all a dream. Dreams pretty much don't make sense in the detailed parts and scenery is bound to change when you're dreaming.
During this dream, Roxas is half-awake, actually, which is why there are lots of mentions to scenes in KH2. Kairi's kidnapping, people mentioning Roxas to Sora all the time, Axel's death, Roxas is aware of a lot of major things that are happening, but he's not completely there. He thinks THOSE are the dreams and plus, he doesn't remember it all clearly enough while dreaming.
Axel painting in Roxas's dreams comes from Roxas thinking of Naminé and Axel -- a lot. Naminé was drawing, and so he dreams of Axel painting, and just like Naminé, Axel paints things that are happening/actually happened. Like the beach from Destiny Islands, or the landscapes on Axel's walls (the Land of the Dragons, Beast's Castle, the Underworld/Olympus Coliseum, Port Royal, etc)-- he painted the worlds Sora visited at the same time as Sora visited them, because, again, Roxas is half awake. Dreams incorporate what you did during your day, no :3? And the crying part -- I think it drove a lot of people to go "WHAT THE HELL" because well it's... actually just a single thing and it's actually just when Sora leaves Twilight Town. I guess that didn't show enough. Oops.
I incorporated a part of Simple and Clean (the daily things, like this and that and what is what) in the fourth part because I felt it fitted. There's no deep meaning about it! X3;
Is this fic meant to be romantic? Yes and no. I'm definitively an AkuRoku (which is still the stupidest pairing name in existance!) shipper, so there are some scenes that are definitively romantic. But the fic in itself is supposed to have, mostly, a friendship overtone. Axel and Roxas are (were) best friends, and that's what Roxas is after. Axel's dream self -- isn't quite Axel, so who knows.
Axel is a little bit OOC on purpose, speaking of that. This is a dream, and Roxas doesn't think this is the real Axel, anyway, and Axel has no access to Roxas's consciousness during that time. It's a milder Axel, a little. (I don't think he's that much OOC, though. ... uwaaah, it's bad, I can't even notice if he is or not!!!! X3!)
Fun fact! My beta (raburabu :3) mentioned that Axel's marks were actually red, not purple. I searched pictures to prove that it was a VERY VERY DARK PURPLE, but a purple nonetheless. (Not red.) It matches Axel's eyeliner. ... Hahaha.
In the midst of writing this, since I only had the "major" scenes thought of (most of the scenes were written/thought of on the spot...) I got an idea for another dream. And another. And then, I thought -- I could do a whole series of Roxas dreaming. Sometimes he'd know, sometimes he wouldn't...! (And most of the time, it'd give me an excuse to AU!) But then I thought, while that's all well and good, he needs to wake up sometime, god. So the sequel idea came to my mind -- nothing is written out yet, but I have some scenes ideas in my head. After all, Roxas and Axel didn't actually get their next life, did they? So the sequel will still be mostly Roxas-centric (I write Roxas's POV a lot, considering how I hate writing in his POV XP) but will include Sora, Kairi, Naminé and Riku. Plus, a certain someone you all know and love... or, is it? Haaa, bad me, foreshadowing is bad. I feel like Nomura, except less liked. (And less sniffing of the paint.) (Very less liked. Not that I mind!) And another sequel, but that's a not-spoiler. (Bad, bad.)
The little lines at the beggining are almost to make you notice where exactly in the KH2 storyline this "started". I say almost, because it's the ONE sentence that struck Roxas the most close to that period. It can certainly be later! So. Yes.
The last lines are all canon lines, but when underlined, they are not. I just felt the need to say that.
The chapter titles are what I named the lj-cuts while writing this on LJ. I am so clever. (Not.)
I think that's all the explanation needed, though, so... yeah. Ask if there's anything else unclear?
That's all, and I hope you all like it!
