A/N: Thank you so much everyone for the kind reviews, favorites and follows! This is the last chapter. I think. I didn't really have any plans beyond it, though I might be persuaded to write more if there is enough interest ;)
I dreamed. Of being back out in space, searching the infinite cosmos for signs of energon. Breakdown at my side helping pilot the cruiser. We laughed at a joke about seekers and he teased me about how as a medic I was terrible with live patients. Then I was back on the Nemesis staring down into his plundered and broken core. I woke with a horrible pressure over my spark, like someone was pressing down trying to extinguish it. What I wouldn't give for the chance to talk to him again.
He'd left, just like he'd left for so many other missions. Just like we all did. Except he didn't come back. There was no mourning him. Decepticon's don't mourn. You left me alone. You promised. You promised you wouldn't leave me alone. I could still see Megatron's face, his eyes piercing as he'd given me the news, searching for any sign of weakness. It was a mission, same as any mission. We all knew the risks, accepted them. It was war after all and people die. Suddenly, without warning or recourse.
"Breakdown . . . Why? What did you have to prove?"
My intakes labored as I fought to online my optics. I ached like I had never ached in my life. Not even after that horrible train incident. Each pulse of my spark was pain filled. I turned my head to the side, realizing I was laying down. There was nothing to see but gray walls. I shuttered my optics and let my vents cycle through. Breakdown would have teased me mercilessly about getting into this kind of situation. The irony of it was not lost on me. I could hear his rough voice deriding me even as he helped me buff out all the scratches. After everything we'd been through, he was the only one who understood my obsession. My finish was the one thing I could control. Painting and buffing kept me calm in those moments when the thousands of vorns of war crowded in too closely. Without being told Breakdown had understood that. We had never discussed it, yet we didn't need to, he just knew. And now . . . Now I had no one to turn to or trust. Not even myself.
Opening my optics I turned to stare at the ceiling. A pained smile forced its way across my faceplate.
"This is so slagging stupid." My laugh rang bitter in my ears.
"Who is Breakdown?"
I snapped my head around to see a human standing at my shoulder, almost too close for my optics to focus properly. It wasn't a human I recognized from those who had imprisoned me. I growled and jerked, but I was tied down even tighter than before. The human didn't even flinch.
"Why should I tell you? It's not like it matters."
"I was just wondering because you seem so sad."
I stopped my struggling to turn at look at the human. "Tell me human, what do you know of loss? Of the pain of being torn from your home? The despair of watching your world crumble into war and destruction? Of losing friends and comrades to that war, your very way of life driven to dust. If I 'seem sad' it's because I've endured millenia of war and violence and have lost everything I ever cherished. Now it seems I am to finally lose my very spark just for doing the one thing that brought me any measure of joy on this Primus forsaken world. To answer your question, Breakdown was my partner. You humans butchered him and used his body like an automaton. So pardon me if I seem a little down at the moment."
I couldn't decipher the human's facial expression and finally turned away. There was a long period of silence.
"I'm sorry."
"What the scrap for?"
"For your pain."
"Oh please. It's not like you see me as anything more than a particularly complex machine. How could I feel pain?"
"You are crying."
"Crying?" I could feel the warm trickle of coolant down the side of my faceplate. "A human term. Doesn't apply."
"Human or not, you feel."
"Well your friend earlier doesn't seem to think so." I desperately wanted to wipe at the coolant overflow. I was too worked up, my regulators not working properly. They were routing to the overflow vents and allowing the leakage through. Even though I knew the medical process for it, the human's simple phrase still fit. I was emotional and why shouldn't I be? Slag it.
"He's not my friend. He's the man I bought you from."
I narrowed my optics. "Really? How kind of you. So are you planning on dissecting me as well or am I just to be an amusing, if overlarge toy."
"I see sarcasm is not lost on your species."
I rolled my optics and turned to face him again. "And your grasp of alien culture is astounding. I've seen what your species thinks of mechanical beings, your 'robots'. How many of your movies have evil giant robots in them? I might be alien, but to you I'm not only alien, I'm a non-organic life form. Something that to you doesn't-can't-exist. I at least accept that there are lifeforms more varied than my own. Just because I am made of metal doesn't mean I don't live."
Soft laughter. "I really didn't come here intending to have a philosophical debate about the nature of life and intelligence. I just wanted to see the new car I bought. It seems the price I paid was well worth it."
"Well I hope you consider it money well spent because my commander will be looking for me." I let my head fall back. At least I hoped he would. "I am their only medic after all."
"You are a doctor?"
Venting forcefully I turned back to look at the human. "Yes, is that so surprising?"
He shrugged. "I suppose not. You just seem a bit . . ."
I narrowed my optics as his voice trailed off. "A bit what?"
"Oh . . . What's the term I'm thinking of. High strung."
"I have no idea what you are getting at flesh job."
"The name is Anderson and you would do well to use it."
I blinked surprised at the sudden change in demeanor. I didn't pretend to understand the little vermin, but even I could sense the sudden animosity. He'd been rather cordial up till then. Apparently he didn't appreciate my terminology.
"Whatever. I'm not interested in getting to know you, human." I flexed my fingers, feeling the restraints around my wrist give just the slightest. It seemed they were not aware that my alt form was not the only thing I could do. If I could activate my weapons I'd be able to cut myself free. I was through being humiliated by these vermin. Clenching my servos I activated my saw. Grinning at the shout from beside me as it easily cut through the chains as I pulled my arm back.
"Rick! Rick! The tazer! He's getting loose."
Ignoring the shouting I set to work on the rest of the chains. That infernal little device was still stuck to my door panel. Only one way to get rid of it. Sitting up I braced myself and yanked the door off my arm, yelping in the process. I'd barely had that new door a year, slag it. I threw it at the human, knocking him flat.
"I've had enough of your hospitality, vermin." Getting to my feet I glared down at him, tempted to stomp him flat, but I had enough damage to my finish and I didn't want to have to clean that out of my treads. "Next time I see you, you are road-kill."
"Get him!"
"Don't let him leave!"
As if they could stop me. Swatting the humans out of the way I headed for what looked like a door. The saw made quick work of it and I had to shutter my optics against the midday sun. I didn't recognize the area and sending out a ping I got one in return. Soundwave's response was even more cryptic than usual. The green light of a ground bridge bathed the buildings around and I smiled. Time to go home.
I rearranged the tools on the tray for the fifth time that joor. Dreadwing had greeted me on my return, it seemed Megatron was busy elsewhere. He had suggested that I wait in my quarters but I'd quickly decided that being in that small space was not a good thing. I was always more comfortable in the medical bay anyway. Picking up each instrument I inspected it before laying it back down. The buffer lay to the side on the table. I'd refrained from using it yet. Megatron always berated me for my attention to my appearance. Though, I supposed, to a Kaon gladiator appearances meant little. So, I waited for him to call for me.
I glanced down at my bare arm. It was still smarting, especially when I moved but at least I'd had time to prepare myself this time. Unlike when Prime had ripped it off. I shuddered at the memory of being hoisted by that powerful mech, utterly at his mercy. At least with Prime I knew where I stood. With Megatron all bets were off. He tolerated me, that was all. He'd said as much. He considered me practically useless outside the medical bay. Though I hadn't been able to do a lot to prove otherwise. This latest incident was probably going to cement his opinion of me.
I started as the door slid open, Megatron's massive frame filling the doorway. "Dreadwing said I might find you here."
"L-Lord Megatron, I didn't expect a visit. I figured you would call me to the bridge."
He smirked at me the heavy tread vibrating the floor as he strode toward me. "Really? And allow you to flaunt your latest exploit in defying me? I think not."
"Please, my lord. It was not my intention to disobey-"
"Not your intention? You went street racing. Disobeying a direct order."
"I . . . I'm sorry my Lord, it's just-"
Those imposing servos latched on to my helm, partially blocking my view as he bent down. "I think I might actually believe you this time. Seeing the state you are in. It's been nearly a full solar cycle and you haven't even attempted to repair yourself. Just what happened that has you so rattled, my good doctor."
I blinked several times not even sure what to say. My spark was heavy the pulses almost labored. "I may have miscalculated the humans."
"Humans?" Megatron leaned even closer, his weight threatening to buckle my knee joints.
"Y-yes . . . I was . . . Captured."
His grip on my helm lessened and he raised an eyebrow at me before chuckling. "How amusing. The humans did this to you? I would have thought after what your partner went through you would have been more reluctant to be among them."
He let me go and I stepped back. "They might have desecrated his remains, but they did not kill him."
"True. Though I think it's safe to say that Airachnid is no longer a concern. So just how did you end up in such a state Knockout? I cannot lose my only medic to a morbid fascination with human mechanics."
I shrugged. "I enjoy racing. Its fun to toy with the humans."
"Regardless, do not do it again."
I looked up at him, meeting those red optics. "Of course not Lord Megatron. I think I've had enough."
He nodded. "Now get cleaned up. You look horrible."
"Yes, Lord Megatron."
He turned to leave and I reached out to pick up the buffer.
"Oh and Knockout . . ."
"Yes?"
"Come to the bridge when you are done. There are some things we need to discuss."
"Of course." I shivered and set the buffer back down as the door slid closed behind him.
