Title: Cold As You
Fandom:
Twilight
Pairing: Edward/Bella sorta and more Jacob/Bella
Song:
Cold As You by Taylor Swift
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own
the Twilight Characters
Author's Notes: Sorry, this isn't a
drabble. More of a oneshot :P
You have a way of coming
easily to me, And when you take, you take the very best of me, So I
start a fight cause I need to feel something. And you do what you
want cause I'm not what you wanted
I remember, when I first
met him, he was all I could think of. He was all that I could dream
of. That perfect face, angelic in such a way that I could never
compare. I found out his secret, he let me into his life and as
always he was afraid of killing me because of it. When I was nearly
killed by his own brother, that's when it ended. He left me broken in
the woods to fend for myself. He didn't want me anymore and I won't
tell you just how much that killed cause deep down I knew that if I
let that hole that was left, it would rip me apart. I needed
something, I needed some air. Maybe the sun. Something that would
stray me away from the cold bitterness of his presence, still
imprinted in my heart. I met that sun in the winter time. It was
refreshing to feel something again. The numbness was gone and I was
able to feel again. I often felt like I was using him, but I just
couldn't help myself because I was growing to be very fond of my
Jacob. He was my safe harbour. And when I thought about Edward, and
the vampires I finally understood why some on the reservation called
them the cold ones though I knew their reason and explaination
was different from mine, it was just how I saw them now.
I can
tell you now that I did find the sun, it warmed my heart letting the
imprints of Edward soften up and finally release the hold on me. I
felt better day after day just by being with Jake. His smiles were
contagious and I continually felt myself falling hopelessly in love
with him. Was that wrong? I knew that even though Edward's imprint
was gone, a part of my heart still belonged to him and always would.
I suppose if I thought hard enough about it I could find ways to
confirm it or deny it and I knew that it wasn't healthy for me to
feel this way. I didn't have to hold that hole anymore. It was pretty
much gone when my sun came and warmed me up. Jake didn't seem to mind
when I clung to him. He seemed to rather enjoy it and I always knew
he felt that way for me.
Things eventually changed though. I knew
it would. Jake suddenly became bitter with me. More angry and I
wondered if he just got sick of me. I soon found out why and his
anger dulled but it was still there, in the corner of his eyes.
Someone had stolen the light from my sun, but it was still the same
old Jake when he would hold me close, letting the pain of it all just
fall from me. Yeah things changed and I cannot decide if it was for
the good or bad. I just knew that I had to keep ahold of my Jake. He
was mine and I was never going to let some pack completely consume
him. He was still mine and I wasn't going to let any new
responsibilities take control of that.
I wonder if he knew. I
wonder if he knew just how much I've grown to love him. And fall in
love with him. There was nothing in the world that I could hide
behind anymore and knowing just how much he felt for me I had to say
it. The day I did he pulled me into a bone crushing hug and whispered
the return in my ear. Then he kissed me. It was one of those tinkling
in you belly, heart over the moon and back, swelling in you chest,
can't get enough of you kisses and I returned it. I wanted him to
stay close to me. Forever. If Edward chose to come back, it was long
gone and there was nothing he could do because he still had that part
but it was very, very little. There was nothing in the world that was
going to stop me now, because I will never let anyone ruin me like
that again. Now that I have Jake here, that's all I need. And if I
were to see Edward again all I'd have to say to him is this, "And
now that I'm sitting here thinking it through, I've never been
anywhere cold as you."
