When the movie was over, Abby didn't want the evening to end. "How about we walk home instead of taking the tube? It's a nice night and a small walk might do us good."
Connor was startled by the question, but didn't mind extending their night out a little longer either. "Sure, why not."
They walked through the streets, both lost in their own thoughts, but neither finding the silence uncomfortable. Every now and then, the zoologist walked closer to Connor and let her hand brush against his, hoping he'd find the courage to take hers.
When he didn't, Abby knew that if she continued flirting the way she had done in the past days, it would go on like this forever. So, when they arrived home, she took a deep breath. It was time to push a little further. Before she could think her plan over, she pecked Connor's cheek and left him standing in the middle of their flat. She had nearly gotten to her bedroom door when she turned around to face him. "We should do that more often, Connor: this going on dates thing, I mean." She quickly closed the door behind her and leaned against the wood, squeezing her eyes shut as a wave of adrenaline washed over her.
Connor stood motionless in the living room for a moment. She hadn't actually just said what he thought she had, had she? Surely his ears had played a trick on him. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was pretty sure she'd said it.
After some time he managed to collect his thoughts enough to head upstairs. He didn't know how long he'd stood there staring at her door in shock, but he knew it was long enough to be embarrassing if she came out of her room and found him still there. She wanted to… to go on more dates with him? But that hadn't been a date, had it?
No, he decided, thinking about it. Definitely it was not a date. If Abby thought it was, she was sorely mistaken. Because if that had been a date, it would have been much different. For one thing, he would've dressed a little nicer and for another he wouldn't have used her card to pay for their movie and then he would've held her hand on the way home like he'd longed to do. Only he wouldn't have taken her right home; he'd have taken her out for ice cream at that cute little Sundae Shop she loved across from the theatre first. And he would have asked her for a proper kiss too... he probably would've fumbled for the right words and spilled ice cream on his shirt, but that was hardly the point. Most importantly, if that'd been a date, he would've known about it.
It was late, but he definitely needed some advice now, so he picked up the phone and called the one person who knew what was going on: Duncan.
Duncan answered immediately. "So, how was the big date?"
"Can you people stop using that word? Wasn't a date."
"Chill, Con, was just playin' with you."
"Sorry, it's just Abby called it that too."
"Abby? The Abby that asked you out on it in the first place? Connor, wouldn't she know if she asked you on a date."
"See I'm starting to think she doesn't know what the word means. She kissed me cheek too, Dunc. What's that mean?"
"You know, Con, I used to think you were smart. I'm starting to wonder now. You're not still gonna deny that Abby likes you, are you?"
"Why would she, Dunc? I'm not her type in the slightest, I don't clean up after meself and I spend most me time on video games or raving about dinosaurs."
"I'm not a mind-reader, Dude. What she actually say about the date?"
Connor told him and Duncan was silent for a bit before replying. "So ask her on another one."
"You crazy?"
"She's told you that she wants to go on another date, if you don't ask she'll be wondering why not."
"Yeah… I gotta think Dunc. Have a good night."
He hung the phone up again. Was Duncan right? Was he supposed to ask Abby out again? Maybe he should. Maybe he should show her what a proper date was supposed to be like, since she was obviously confused on the fact. But what if she'd changed her mind come morning? He almost panicked then. What if, what if come morning things were all awkward and weird now? Oh that'd be bad! It took him hours to fall asleep after that, as he lay awake worried that Abby was gonna grow suddenly distant from him by breakfast.
Abby woke up when the first rays of sun shone through her window shade. The moment that the memories of the past evening floated back to her, a smile began to play around her lips. She quickly got out of bed, grabbed a pair of jeans and her favorite top, and headed to the bathroom. On her way she stopped in the kitchen to put on the kettle.
"Con, get up, it's a beautiful day!" she called out before she disappeared into the loo.
It was their day off, and while Abby stood in the shower she made plans for their day, assuming they'd spend it together. She pictured them going out for breakfast, maybe a walk afterward or they could even spend it out of town. That was, if Connor wanted to spend the day with her. What if he had other plans? What if he wanted to meet Duncan, or Caroline? The blonde shuddered at the thought of the other woman. And suddenly the fear was back: the fear of getting hurt.
She remembered the last thing she'd said to him the night before and her well-known insecurities came rushing back. In a trance, Abby got out of the shower and toweled herself dry and dressed while thinking about how easily Connor could hurt her once she let him know about her feelings. She liked him, really liked him, but the idea of letting him in too close scared her as much as the thought of him dating another woman hurt her. For her it was safer that way.
She had to back out while she still could, and first she had to find a way to take back the thing she'd said about going to another date.
Fully dressed, she exited the bathroom and found Connor already sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in his hands and another already filled, waiting for her on the countertop.
"Morning," he mumbled as Abby reached for a banana and sat down opposite from him.
"Morning Con." A heavy silence settled down in the kitchen. "Connor, about yesterday," Abby began carefully without averting her look from him.
He didn't meet her eyes, but Abby saw how his shoulders tensed at her words, how his hands tightened the grip around the mug, and for a brief second, she saw hurt flashing over his face before he disquised it. He waved at her. "It's okay, Abs. I know it wasn't a date; we just went out, as pals, that's all."
Abby bit her lower lip. He had been expecting her to take back the words. She had done it more than once already, letting him come close and suddenly pushing him away again with no apparent reason. Suddenly it dawned her that pushing him away hurt both of them equally. She was okay with doing this to herself, but she wouldn't put him through it. Maybe it wasn't time to stop flirting with Connor; maybe it was time to face her fears.
"Connor, I meant what I said."
Connor finally looked up into her eyes, studying her face for a bit as if trying to read her. She found herself blushing and forced herself not to get up and walk about the kitchen, making herself busy to avoid this. He was being silent, too silent. She wondered if she should say something else, but just as her mouth opened to do so (which was probably a bad idea as she had no idea what she was about to say) he spoke.
"I meant it too, Abs. It wasn't a date."
What? That wasn't what she'd expected at all. Connor didn't want it to be a date? But he'd told Duncan he loved her! She felt suddenly as if she'd been punched and wondered how she could take everything back. Her eyes started to water and her mind felt a mess and she was well aware that her mouth was hanging open. Slowly she became aware that Connor's hand had covered her own and he was looking at her gently. Was he about to give her the talk? To break her heart? Should she run from the room? How many times had she broken his though? So she should probably listen. She was frozen in place anyways.
"Abby," his voice was tender, "Abby, I had fun with you last night, I really did. I'm sorry, I didn't realize what you'd wanted when you asked me out. I didn't realize it was meant to be a date, and... well, I wanna redo, Abs. Please. Do you have any idea how many times I've imagined going on a date with you? But I always imagined I'd know about it! Abby it'd be so much better, I'd hold your hand, buy you flowers, dress up, the whole shebang. That was not a date, and especially not our first one. Let me take you out proper-like, okay?"
He couldn't believe that he'd just gotten up the nerve to actually ask Abby out on a proper date, but it was her who had started this, and she'd somehow looked upset when he'd told her it wasn't a date last night. Now that the words were out, he let go of her hand and fiddled nervously with his gloves as he waited for her to respond.
Abby gulped as her head processed his request slowly. She had been so sure that he was about to break her heart the moment he had said it wasn't a date, but then he had taken her hand and her skin had prickled under his touchand he had actually asked her out on a date: a proper date, with flowers, hand holding, and all that jazz. A warm fuzzy feeling overcame her; Abby had never been on a real date. No one had ever seemed to bother about it, about her, before, but she knew that Connor meant it. He wouldn't make empty promises.
"Yes," she smiled at him, "I'd love that."
