EPISODE 3:
LAND OF THE CHOCOBOS PART I
(American Idiot starts playing)
(Enter Cloud and Leon in normal clothes. They are wandering around in an unknown land.)
Leon: What do you mean unknown land?
Cloud: The name of the place is right here! (Points at title.)
Yuki: Just go with it.
Both: Fine.
(Back to wandering.)
Cloud: Leon where are we even though the name is the title of this episode.
Leon: I don't know Cloud even though I really do because I read the title.
(Find a small chocobo as tall as Cloud's knees. Has big blue chibi eyes.)
Cloud: Aww he's cute.
Leon: Uh, sure.
(The chocobo sees Cloud and Leon. The chocobo knocks Cloud and Leon unconscious. Leon wakes up in a wooden cage. He can't find Cloud.)
Leon: Cloud? Cloud?! Cloud!
(Chocobos walk up.)
Chocobo 1: Wark wark wark wark wark wark wark.
Leon: Excuse me?
Chocobo 2: Wark wark wark.
Leon:?
Chocobo 3: WARK WARK!
Leon: Sorry me no speak Chocobian.
(Chocobos drag in another cage. The author is in it.)
Leon: Yuki?
Yuki: Hey Leon. They got you to I see.
Leon: Yep, have you seen Cloud?
Yuki: Nope.
Leon: Wait a second how is this story going on if your not writing it?
Yuki: The chief of this little chocobo tribe destroyed my computer and I have no way to finish it. In order to we need to escape, find Cloud, and get me to a computer of some sort. Preferably one with Word on it.
Leon: Sounds simple enough but first, we need to locate Cloud.
(They hear some chocobo's talking to each other.)
Chocobo 1: Wark wark wark?
Chocobo 2: Wark wark.
Chocobo 3: Wark wark wark wark wark.
Leon: If only I knew what they were saying.
Yuki: I do.
Leon: O.k. then what did they say?
Yuki: The first one asked when some ceremony is being held. The second said at noon. The third said that after so many years of waiting their virgin goddess has finally returned to them.
Chocobo 2: wark wark wark.
Yuki: He said it's time.
Chocobo 1: Wark wark wark wark wark wark wark.
Yuki: He said to bring the prisoners to use as sacrifice to the goddess.
(The chocobos start dragging Leon and the author, after getting them both in the same cage. They see a lot of chocobos bowing in the direction of a large throne. A figure in a gold Greek goddess dress wearing a gold butterfly mask is sitting in it. The chocobos bring the author and Leon to thrown and stop right in front of it.)
Yuki: (Clings to Leon.) Leon I'm scared.
(The chocobos go and take off the figures mask to reveal…)
Leon: Cloud?
Cloud: Hey.
Yuki: Cloud you're the virgin goddess.
(Yuki and Leon laughing hysterically.)
Cloud: You can stop now.
(Still laughing.)
Cloud: Really that's quite enough.
(Laughing.)
Cloud: Shut up! I don't know what you're talking about! I don't even know what's going on! I just woke up a minute ago! Not to mention when I did wake up I found myself strapped to this chair!
Leon: You don't know what's going on? These chocobos are going to give us as a sacrifice to you because they think your some great (snicker) virgin (snicker) goddess (cracking up).
Yuki: Both of you shut up. I'm trying to hear what the chocobo chief is saying.
Cloud: Uh, which chocobo? There's more than one.
Yuki: The only black one here.
Chief: Wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark!
Chocobos: Wark! Wark! Wark!
Leon: What did he say?
Yuki: I'm not saying.
Cloud: Just tell us already.
Yuki: No you'll both get angry.
Leon: you're making us angry by not telling us, so spill!
Yuki: Fine. He said that the ceremony has begun. First they will prepare us for what they are planning.
Leon: Which is?
Yuki: Well the virgin goddess kind of is the goddess of pregnancy for the chocobos here.
Leon: And?
Yuki: They will offer you to Cloud in an attempt to get Cloud pregnant. While I will be waiting hand and foot on Cloud and the supposed baby he will carry. O.k. so where is that chocobo with the keys?
Both: WHAT?!
Cloud: No! Nuhuh, not gonna happen.
Leon: Same here! Even if I wanted to, amazing as this will sound, Cloud can't get pregnant! He's a man!
Yuki: I understand that! But once they figure that out they will kill us. If we don't go along with it they'll kill us! If we go along with it, we have more time to figure out our escape!
Leon: Fine we'll go along with it.
Cloud: But we won't like it!
Yuki: Good. Hey buddy!
(A chocobo stops in front of cage. Points to itself.)
Yuki: Yeah, you. Uh, wark wark wark wark wark wark wark.
(Chocobo looks surprised.)
Chocobo: Wark wark?
Yuki: Wark.
(Chocobo runs to tell chief.)
Leon: What did you say to it?
Yuki: I told it that you would be more than happy to help get the virgin goddess pregnant. All though I wonder why would they call her a virgin goddess if they try to get her pregnant?
Cloud: I don't care right now just think of something to get us out of here!
Leon: O.k. everyone shut up! Let me think………..
Yuki: He has the I'm coming up with a great idea look.
Leon: I've got it.
Will Leon's idea help the trio escape? Will Yuki get to a computer in time to stop the madness that for once she didn't cause? Will Cloud get pregnant? Find out next time on 'The Hilarious and Random Adventures Of Cloud And Leon!
