I really cannot fathom how I managed to get so many supportive readers.
But I'm liking it.
Carlisle told Edward to check the glands that secrete venom In my throat. Gross. I did not doubt Edward's cleanliness, but I didn't want anyone shoving anything down my throat. Especially fingers. Carlisle noticed my revulsion at the idea, but explained that if they were hard, they were swelling with too much venom, therefore amplifying the frenzies. He was hoping that Edward could squeeze the excess venom out, making my immortal transition a little bit easier.
"Your self-control is absolutely remarkable, Bella. I'm very impressed." He said, still keeping a safe distance from me. Was I really that dangerous? "But there are complications with your change…and I want you to help me figure them out when you are completely in control. This will speed up the process."
Edward stared into my eyes, seeing if I was ready. I don't think anyone could really prepare themselves for this. I didn't know how it would feel to have venom squeezed out of my throat. It sounded painful, like squeezing some kind of overgrown zit, that didn't release puss, but poison. Liquid death.
Gross.
Really, really, really, really gross.
I nodded to Edward, letting him know I was ready. Well, as ready as I could possibly be. He pressed two of his long, warm, delicate fingers on my lips, prying them open with the least bit of force possible. It was like he still saw me as a pathetic, fragile human. Maybe he was just used to treating my that way. The touch made him tremble a bit. He was still getting used to my flesh matching his.
He eased the fingers into my mouth. He should not have tasted this devilishly divine. I didn't want to eat him, but maybe nimble. Only a little bit. It was like having a scrumptious ambrosia on my tongue, spilled from Aphrodite's cup of god wine. I began to imagine how his tongue would taste. I tried to push the thought away. Could I seriously be pining after him and Jasper, after I just denied Edward my affection? Only Edward could cloud my head by massaging my newly acquired death glands. I supposed my body could never truly forget him. The way his made mine feel.
"They are positively gorged" Edward announced in his melodic voice. He stiffened. "When I squeeze it out, it will run down her throat, irritating the flesh and causing more thirst."
Carlisle considered this. "We could collect it by a tube."
"I doubt any young vampire would allow a tube to enter their mouth, even one as self-controlled as Bella. Her instincts will instantly register the act as danger. She does not see my fingers as threatening because they are made of another vampire. Not a piece of plastic. I don't want you to be preoccupied on retrieving the tube, either. We need to keep her under our attention." Edward replied convincingly. He obviously didn't trust me. Not that I could blame him.
The older vampire paced, rubbing his chin in contemplation. "I could spit it out?" I said in my weird, new voice.
"I don't want to test your self-control." Edward said flatly, running his free hand through his crown of bronze hair. His full, thick bronze hair was still fascinating to me. Maybe my hair will never get messy, too. Only flawlessly toussled.
"I think it's worth a try." the blonde said. He obviously was interested in the limitations of my self-control. Like an experiment.
"I will not allow it. I'm sorry, father. I don't want to risk anything with her." Before I could even protest, Edward was pressing my lower back, so I would sit straight and face him. With little space between us. Was I half as beautiful as he was? He gave both glands a painful pinch, almost making me bite him. Almost. He withdrew his fingers gracefully and, without even looking at my eyes, crushed his lips onto mine and shoved his tongue into my pain-stricken, open mouth. My soul crumbled in agony. He was lapping my venom to save me from the burning thirst. To save me from myself.
I watched his face cringe in pain as he rubbed my glands with his tongue, making sure he got every droplet. I wanted to push him away. It hurt so badly to see him that way. I was a newborn; My poison was probably a hundred times more potent than his. I could picture just how painful it was, scalding holes into his throat. He did not falter from it; he lapped it up more efficiently than Jasper lapped up my blood. How could I possibly be forgiven, allowing him to torture himself? I turned myself to help him, not make his existence any harder.
The glands weren't throbbing anymore. I didn't realize they were at any point in time; the venom burned too much for me to acknowledge them. I couldn't feel them releasing the lethal fluid. Edward's work was done. I knew it was selfish, but my morbid curiosity took over. I wanted to feel, and really taste his tongue. I slowly lifted mine and caressed his. It was far tastier than I had imagined. Light-years better. ignoring the slightly stinging remainders of my venom, I felt Edward's body tense up tighter. A throaty exhale from his chest vibrated my entire being. I couldn't tell if it was a sigh of pain, sorrow, or…enjoyment.
He terminated the moment and practically flew to Carlisle's side. His black eyes were livid, but somehow…pleading. His whole body was fuming as he gasped to regain a tolerable state. It was easy to see that he was trying not to breath through his nose, but his nostrils were flaring with fury. He was mad.
Carlisle approached his son. "That was a brave thing you did. The redness in her eyes is diluted already. Edwar-"
Before he could finish, Edward shot his hand up, stopping Carlisle's encroachment. "Stay away. I need to go as soon as Emmett gets back. I can't afford to leave you alone." He said through gritted teeth, still glaring at me. Why couldn't he see he didn't have to protect Carlisle from me? He rendered me utterly defenseless. My kill-drive was drained for the time being. I was level-headed. He was going insane with hunger and anger, yet was still martyring himself.
Edward was my saint.
And I was just his succubi.
His cruel, manipulative succubi. Who couldn't even accumulate her love for him.
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