Welcome back to the show! Now with 70% more -San!
-SAN: Yes! Finally!
Oh, sorry. I mean Sun. Now with 70% more SUN. sorry, I couldn't see the cue card.
-SAN: Oh, come on!
Thanks for waiting!
Disgaea: Almost the Hour of Darkness
Chapter 4: A Hint of…*sniff* *sniff*…eww… a hint of something…but I don't know what…
Training grounds
You should know the formula by know. Fleck and his squad are seated around a make shift table in the training grounds while Celeste and her squad are off in the archery range just a little over to the side. This time, they were playing snakes and ladders because, while cards and chess show some class, no one is too sophisticated for snakes and ladders. Fleck rolled the dice in his hand, hoping for a high number. "Come on…" Fleck let the dice fly and he hit a 7. Fleck counted the spaces and saw that it would land him on a snake. Fleck kicked the table one more time, changing his roll to a 6.
"Hey! No cheating!" Mill called out. Fleck snapped his fingers and a chair crashed into Mills back, breaking into several pieces and knocking the healer out.
"Okay seriously! You need to quit that! I mean come on, It's getting annoying as hell!" Silo complained.
Fleck simply shrugged and handed the dice to Vic. "Vic, It's your turn!" Fleck waited several seconds to find that he still held the dice. "Vic?" Fleck looked next to him and saw that Vic wasn't there. He looked around and saw a crowd of Prinnies gathered around a small window built into the wall with a sign over it that said "CHECK RETRIEVAL" in big red letters.
"That booth should've opened 2 hours ago." We can't possibly find him in that crowd so just-" before silo could finish Fleck walked over to the crowd, quickly skimmed over the prinnies present there and grabbed one right out of the flock. "I don't think that's Vic." Silo said.
"It's your turn Vic." Fleck said.
Vic seemed more anxious than usual. "But…but it was gonna open any minute! I could feel it!" Vic said this as though he was a drug addict who hasn't had a hitt it 3 weeks.
"it didn't open two hours ago and it's not going to open anytime soon. All that's left is to suck it up and play." Fleck said casually.
"Hey…" Misha started. "How can you tell Vic apart from all the other prinnies?"
"What? You mean you haven't noticed?" Fleck said as though it were (was?) the most obvious thing in the world. "Vic has one less stitch around his stomach than all the others." Fleck pointed out, picking up another prinny along with Vic for comparison.
Silo and Misha squinted and leaned in closer to examine the two prinnies. "I can kinda see it…" Silo said.
"your eyes just aren't as awesome as mine." Fleck bragged.
"Clearly…"
"So who do they have manning the check collection booth, anyway?" Fleck asked.
"Who do ya think?" Silo replied.
The windows of the booth opened up to reveal Krugis with an annoyed look on his face. "I can't believe I'm debasing myself like this! This is all Flonne's fault!" As soon as Krugis stepped to the front desk, all the prinnies swarmed around him, demanding their pay. "Calm down you morons! Prince Laharl refuses to pay all of you directly so instead-" Before Krugis could finish, the prinnies immediately leaped into the booth and proceeded to pummel the living crap out of him.
"H-holy crap! This is hilarious!" Fleck said, taking pictures. Then, a sudden realization dawned on him. "Wait…if the prinnies aren't getting paid then…" As fleck said this, Mill and Silo also came to the same conclusion: they weren't getting paid either!" The three of them rushed over to the crowd of prinnies and swatted them all away.
As Krugis dusted himself off and was about to say thank you, Fleck grabbed his by the collar and smashed his forehead into Krugis'. "What the hell!" he said as fleck dropped him.
"All right asshole! What's this we hear about no pay!" Fleck yelled.
"First off…" Krugis stood up. "Don't attack me when it's Laharl who refuses to pay you. Secondly, since he has refused to pay in the traditional sense, he has opted for a more unorthodox solution. We are going to the richest person within a 100 mile radius of this castle and, quote: "Raid the living shit out of him" unquote." Krugis finished.
"So in other words, we have to start a small war just to get this months paycheck." Mill commented.
"Yes, that's the gist of it."
"All right, I'm cool with that." everyone else unanimously agreed and walked back to their table, save for vic.
"But…I was supposed to…I just…I just want enough to pay for a meal at Claims Jumper…I can't keep…I…" Speechless, Vic went rigid.
"Come on, are you really that surprised?" Fleck picked vic up and carried him under his arm back to the table.
Krugis dusted off his sleeves and felt a sore spot in his shoulder. A warm green light surrounded him and the pain instantly went away. "Hm?" Krugis looked over to see his half sister smiling at him. "Hmph." he grunted.
Celeste suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "Listen…Krugis, I…" Before she finished, Krugis walked up to her.
"Don't get the wrong idea. The only reason I'm here is because my partner is an idiot and I don't know how to get in contact with my superiors." Krugis was glaring at her now. "So just do your thing and I'll do mine." with that, Krugis brushed past her and exited the courtyard.
"Nice guy, huh?"
Celeste turned around and saw Neige standing in front of her. "Neige…"
"Let's talk." She said. Just as the two started towards the door, neige stopped. "Wait a sec." Neige pulled her hand back and punched into the wall. Instead of making a cracking or grinding noise, a loud "oof!" was heard. A ninja, painted the same color and design of the brick wall fell to the ground, clutching his nads. "Nice try -San, but no eavesdropping today, got it?" Neige said.
"Y-yeah…"
"You okay?" Celeste asked. -San gave a thumbs up to signal that he was.
"You know, I never heard of a Ninja getting socked in the balls before…" Neige commented as the two girls walked back into the castle.
-San waited for the door to close before muttering: "I'm such a failure…"
"You're goddamn right you are! That was some of the worst sneaking around I've ever seen!" Fleck yelled. "Well, no use fretting about it now. Come on big guy! We've got a paycheck to steal." Fleck said dragging an ashamed -San by the scarf and carrying vic under his arm.
"It's not like reconciling several centuries of bad blood is gonna happen over night." Neige said. She and Celeste were talking in one of the many hallways of the castle and Celeste had just explained the situation between her and her brother to Neige.
"I know, but still…" Celeste had a pained look on her face.
"Look, forcing it isn't gonna make things any better, and it doesn't seem like he's gonna leave any time soon." Neige said in a comforting tone. "Just take it slow and everything should fall into place."
"I guess so…" As Celeste gave a sad smile, the alarm went off.
"That's our cue! Well, time to pay! And if we fail at that then we wrest it our of the cold dead hands of our enemies! Right!" Neige said, over enthusiastically.
Celeste could tell she was trying to make her laugh and responded with an equally determined "Right!"
Krugis wandered through the halls of the castle and eventually found his way to the dimensional gate. Several heavily armed warriors were gathered in front of it. All of them were talking with their comrades or checking their equipment. "At least I'll be able to take my frustrations out on whoever's on the other side." Krugis was about walk closer to the gate when a high pitched and cheery voice echoed across the room towards him. "M-miss Flonne…How are you doing?" Krugis turned around and saw flonne walking alongside Laharl and Etna.
"I've been just fine! There are so many new things I've learned here! The netherworld isn't as bad as they say in Celestia." Flonne said.
"I'll-" A demon bumbed into Krugis before he could respond.
"Watch it ass wipe!" he yelled.
"I'll believe it when I see it…" While Krugis refused to consider demons nothing short of evil, he had to admit. The higher ups in Celestia blew the strife in the netherworld out of proportion. Yeah, it wasn't exactly paradise, but it wasn't the den of suffering and pain the propagandists made it out to be. The worst that anyone has done to him so far is call him a few nasty names. They weren't so much as minions of destruction so much as they were annoying neighbors. Still, it was too early to finalize anything. "Perhaps observing their behavior isn't such a bad idea after all." Krugis muttered to himself. "So, prince Laharl." Krugis suddenly spoke up. "Which person are we going to rob?"
Laharl grinned. "I just so happen to know of a fool who shows off his wealth more times than I care to count. For his arrogant display, we shall strike him down and take all of his wealth with us! Since his money is going to a much better cause than being pompous, I'm sure he won't mind." Laharl let out a loud laugh.
"Besides…" Etna began. "He's another competitor for the title of Overlord so we'd be killing two birds with one stone."
"So I assume you'll be putting me at the very front of your army, hoping that I'll get killed in the commotion?" Krugis said.
"We don't care." Laharl said walking right past him. "You're not on my pay roll, officially, so I don't really care what you do. Actually, I'm surprised you did the job of informing the prinnies that they wouldn't get a paycheck this month. I never said you had to." Laharl said, grinning evilly. All three of them walked off towards the dimensional gate, Flonne waving bye to Krugis.
"But…I…Oh I get it. He's pulling the reverse psychology trick on me. He thinks that my pride won't allow me to sit out a battle." Krugis said to no one in particular. "Well I'm not going to fall for this basic trap." Krugis turned away and walked down the hall. "Nope…not even gonna look…" Krugis stopped. "…" he looked back at the gate as The trio and several others disappeared into it. Krugis sighed. "Stupid pride…" Krugis drew his bow and notched an arrow as he followed the others into the gate.
"Hey, looks like we came here just in time!" Fleck said as he and the others entered the main hall and saw everyone entering the gate.
"You seem awfully chipper about this." Misha commented.
"You bet! Since this isn't a normal check, I have the advantage here as a thief. I can get way more cash total than all the other soldiers here, combined!" Fleck cheered.
"Hey, check it out." Silo said, tapping Fleck's shoulder and pointing to another crowd of prinnies. One of them was giving a speech on top of a wooden crate.
"The check hasn't come because you all took it for granted, dood." It preached. "Repent! Repent! And thou shall receive not just a check…but a raise!" All the other prinnies cheered.
"Seriously? One late check and they start a doomsday cult about it…" Fleck said with an exasperated look on his face. "Right, Vic?" Fleck said. "Vic?" Fleck looked under his arm and saw that he wasn't carrying vic anymore. He looked over and saw him with that new cult. "Vic!" Fleck went over and grabbed him by the beak, pulling him back towards the group. "Seriously! Pull it together! Look, I'll split some of my loot with you, okay?"
Vic's eyes suddenly lit up. "Sure, Dood. You're the best employer a guy could ask for, dood."
"That was a quick recovery." Silo commented. "Come on, we'll be left behind at this rate!" Silo leaded their squad straight through the portal.
Golden Castle
"Daaaaamn…" Silo held his hand over his eyes to protect them from the gleam of the sun. "I can't believe he actually made a golden front gate…Seems like he's trying to compensate for something."
"Really? Dick jokes? We're really going to sink that low?" Mill complained.
"What? I wasn't talking about that? I'm just saying, maybe he's just trying to grab attention." Silo replied.
"Why would he spend so much money to do that?"
"It's not that hard to imagine." Krugis butted in. "People who spend so much money on extravagant things like this are usually very insecure inside and have a strong desire to show others up just to feel good about themselves. And yet they show this fact to everyone with enough common sense and end up looking more pathetic than before they started showing off." Krugis took a deep breath as he finished his longwinded monologue.
"Isn't gold supposed to be really squishy? I'll bet they have to get this replaced regularly…" Mill said, jabbing the end of his staff into one of the bars on the gate.
"I'm sure there's some brass, or copper or something in there." Silo replied
"Were you even listening!" Krugis yelled.
"You did trap us in an ice maze and sent hordes of demons after us. Don't expect a warm welcome." Lyra said from out of nowhere.
"You…You're the spear woman from the ice river." Krugis said. "Where's the rest of your squad?"
"Our prinny was just killed yesterday, thanks to you, -San is over there next to Fleck, and Neige and your sister are still at the castle." Lyra replied.
"Don't call her my sis-"
"And stop with the angst routine. Seriously, you don't pull it off too well." Lyra said, chuckling.
"R-routine!" Krugis was very flustered.
"Yeah, you'd be surprised how many people like you there are out there." Lyra shrugged her shoulders. "And they weren't limited to just sister issues."
"Hey! Lyra! Over here!" Neige yelled. She had Celeste and their replacement prinny next to here.
"That's my cue. See ya around." Lyra ran over to her squad mates, leaving Krugis in a bit of a dazed state.
"Enough Waiting around. Pretty much everyone is here so we're ready to begin operation: rob till you drop" Laharl declared loudly.
"Lame…" Everyone thought.
"Scout! Report."
one of the soldier walked up to lahars, a pair of binoculars around his neck "There seems to be this outer wall and another inner wall just inside. It's save to say that we'll be attacked as soon as we get in.
"Doesn't seem like we have much of a choice. Someone smash open the gate!" Laharl yelled.
"If I may?" Fleck said and pulled out several lock picks. "There are other methods to brute force, you know."
From a Distance
"So that's him?" a young woman watch fleck from the shadows. She had light blue hair, blue eyes and wore what appeared to be a French maid's outfit. "He's a lot shorter than I imagined." She said, grinning. "It ticks me off…Why the hell was he chosen!"
Back with fleck
"Aaand done!" Fleck said, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "What do you guys think? Pretty cool huh?" Fleck looked over and saw that the others were already going through a hole in the wall made by some other guy. "Wah? B-but…oh, fine…" Fleck dejectedly walked through the gate to wait for everyone else.
"Ready!…Fire!" Several archers and mages fired arrows and spells at Laharls advancing army from atop the large inner wall. Several foot soldiers spread themselves across the large stone steps leading up to the front door, ready to die defending their post.
"spread out! Give them smaller targets to work with." Laharl ordered. Everyone immediately spread out into smaller separate groups and attacked different areas, simultaneously.
"Hmph…How pedestrian." The commander scoffed. " Alright, focus on one or two groups at a time. There aren't that many so we should be able to thin them out for when our reinforcements arrive."
"Oh, I'm not so sure about that…" Krugis said.
"Wha?" The commander turned around and saw Krugis floating behind him and his archery squad. "A-an Angel? What's an angel doing he-"
Krugis sliced off his head and watched him tumble down to the ground below. "Sorry…but reinforcements won't be coming." Krugis gestured to the large number of dead soldiers off in the inner courtyard.
"Th-there's no way you could've done that on your own!" one of the archers yelled.
"And yet, here we are!" Krugis raised his blade into the air. "Winged Slayer!" Krugis swung his sword downward and the enemy archers, along with a good portion of the wall were annihilated.
"Damn, man…The guys a walking corpse factory. Hard to believe he's related to Celeste." Fleck said.
"He…um…He sorta reminds me of gwen, dood." Vic said, having a flashback.
"Gwen…" Fleck looked down, a haunted look on his face as he remembered the reason he even signed up for Laharl's army.
"Who's gwen?" Mill asked.
"My….my sister…" Fleck said, still traumatized.
"Oh…is she single." Mill said, grinning.
"Dude, for both are sakes, don't even think about it."
"What do you think she's doing now, dood." Vic asked.
"If she hasn't completely destroyed the town, lounging around on the sofa. If she has, plotting our deaths as she tracks us down." Fleck replied, gulping.
"Was she that bad?" Misha asked.
"She once made me drink 16 gallons of irradiated fluids just because she wanted a nightlight, dood." Vic said.
"He still has an aftertaste." Fleck whispered into Misha's ear. "He's kinda sensitive about it."
"Hey!" Laharl yelled from atop the steps. "We're ready to enter the castle! Get ready!"
Fleck and the others exchanged glances and joined the large group that formed at the front gates. Several demons held up a large battering ram. After three solid hits, the doors toppled and everyone swarmed in. Healers and archers stayed in the very back while front line soldiers searched the place thoroughly. Those with good stealth skills, (I.e thieves and ninjas) went off to scout out the rest of the complex or started looting.
Fleck ran ahead of his squad and joined up with several other thieves and started giving a pep talk. "Alright, If we're all going to come out of this with a profit we'll have to do this quickly and professionally. We've all seen the movies, anyone who tries to deviate and leave the group for dead always ends up on the chopping block." Fleck continued his speech to the other thieves about how it will be better in the long run if they work together than get greedy and steal everything for themselves.
"I've never seen him get so passionate about something before…" Celeste commented.
"it's in his blood, dood." Vic said. "He graduated from college with a major in theft, and a minor in psychology."
"They have schools for this!" Krugis yelled in surprise.
"Why psychology?" Neige asked.
"It's so that he can predict peoples actions better, dood. He might look like an idiot, but he knows his stuff."
"but I've seen him do crazier stuff than most of the people here." Celeste said.
"He told me that just because you know how to control yourself, doesn't mean you always should, dood." Vic said.
"Hey…" Laharl examined one of the vases placed on display. He looked around at some of the paintings and tapestries. "All of this stuff used to be in the castle. I remember them from when I was little!"
"Then the lord of this castle must be a former vassle of your father's." Etna deduced.
"Then this should be interesting! Prinnies, this is for your paychecks! You better work hard!" Laharl orderd, an amused grin spreading across his face.
"Yes sir, dood!" Several prinnies, and vic, saluted and assisted in the looting/ scouting.
"Hmmmm…" Flonne looked deep in thought.
"What's wrong?" Celeste asked.
"Oh, it's nothing. It's just that prinnies in celestia behave differently than the ones here. Back home, all they did was chores like taking out trash and doing laundry." Flonne stated.
"No matter what they do, they're all the same on the inside." fleck said, suddenly finished with his group. "All prinnies are actually the souls of the deceased who led worthless and sinful lives. They're all either murderers or thieves." Fleck looked at Vic with a serious look.
"In celestia, they do chores and manual labor for free while in the netherworld they do super hard, and usually deadly, work for less than minimum wage. Once they've repented or saved up enough, they can be reincarnated on the night of the red moon." Krugis finished.
"I see…I wonder what Vic used to be…" Celeste rubbed her chin, imagining what he might be.
"He keeps bragging about how he was the most powerful warrior in the netherworld, or something. Personally, I think he's just trying to mess with me, but you never know." Fleck said.
Elsewhere
-San leaped down from an air conditioning vent in the ceiling, landing right on his feet. "Infiltration complete." He scanned the long hallway and saw nothing worth noting except for the annoying glare coming from the gold furniture and decoration. "God, how can someone live like this…" -San said, trying to shield his eyes. "I should put in a request to make sunglasses part of the required equipment list." -San sensed someone nearby and threw a kunai behind him. Instead of an agonized scream or the "shunk" sound of the Kunai piercing someone's skin, he heard the metallic clang of something deflecting it. "Hm?"
"Is that really the way to welcome an old friend." said a young girl with blue hair.
"Alice… what are you doing here." -San asked.
"Same thing you were doing." She replied.
"Scouting?"
"No, idiot, before you turned traitor." Alice scowled. "You remember, stealing the spotlight and all that?" She playfully walked around -San.
"You people are still obsessed with being the main character?" -San glared at Alice.
"Of course…Why wouldn't we?" Alice asked.
"How about the fact that it's pointless. Your characters were tried and scrapped." -San said bluntly.
Alice glared. "Easy for you to say! You already have your part in the story! But I'm not gonna settle for a sidekick role! I'm gonna take this whole thing by storm!" Alice yelled.
"Then there's no point talking!" -San threw more kunai at Alice. She deflected them easily and fired an Ice spell in retaliation. "Dammit!" -San leaped back to avoid being.
"You know, if you ask nicely, I'll let you join up with me!" Alice offered.
"I know a double cross when I see one. Besides, even if you didn't intend to betray me, I doubt my circumstances would change that much from right now." -San stated.
"Hmph. Suit yourself. I guess I'll have to deliver quality to this series on my own then." Alice sighed and teleported away.
-San glared at the spot where she just stood. "…This could get complicated."
"Report!" Laharl ordered as one of the many scouts returned.
"Me and the others have managed to locate where the ruler of this castle is. From what I've gathered, the most direct paths to the throne room would be through the eastern or northern door. However, each one is loaded with guards."
"So in other words, it's nothing we haven't dealt with before." Laharl speculated. The scout nodded, vigorously.
"All right! We're going to split up and take both paths at once. Squads B, D, F, and J come with me through the north door while the rest of you go through the east door." Laharl yelled. The whole army cheered in confirmation of the order.
"I'm getting goosebumps." Silo said, a huge grin on his face.
"Why?" mill asked.
"Haven't you noticed? We never get to accompany the prince on anything because we always get dragged into some huge fight that doesn't even seem to matter." Silo said. "Well… none of that matters now. I have a really good feeling about today." Silo was contemplating in his had that he had just jinxed everyone when the grating of a vent in the wall was kicked open, smacking Silo clean across the face and knocking him out. -San then leaped out of the now open vent and turned towards Fleck who was in shock at what just happened.
"Master Fleck! There is a grave matter I must discuss with you." -San had a serious look in his eye as he spoke, prompting Fleck to get serious as well. Fleck, his squad and -San moved towards the back of the group so no one would hear them. "Do you remember when I fought you and your squad in mid-boss's castle?"
"Yeah…something about my sister right?" Fleck guessed.
"What? No. I fought you to take your place as the main character." -San corrected.
"…Oh! Right…I remember now…yeah…" Fleck said, clearly having no idea what -San was talking about. "And you're sure my sister wasn't involved in any way." Fleck asked.
"Just listen. You remember when I said that a lot goes on in production? Well, the person that's after you now is another scrapped character like me, except she has an actual name." -San pause to make sure fleck was listening. "Now, this person is particularly dangerous to this story of ours."
"Why's that?" Silo asked.
"Well…she wants to turn this story into a…how to put this lightly…a magical girl anime…" -San said.
Fleck's expression slowly went from calm and indifferent to horrified and disturbed. "We can't let that happen!" Fleck yelled. "I mean, sure this show doesn't exactly have the strongest plot, but you don't have to debase it into something like a magical girl show! That's like adding insult to injury." Fleck yelled.
(Authors note: my apologies to all the fans of magical girl animes.)
"Guys, for the dignity of this show, we have to stop this chick." Fleck said, the lighting in the room becoming much more epic than the situation called for.
"We had dignity?" Mill asked.
"How hard could it be?" Silo asked. As Laharl kicked down the next set of doors, an entire army waited for them on the other side. The hallway, stairs, and balconies were line with archers, warriors and mages. A single blue haired girl stood at the very back. The doorway to the throne room right behind her.
"None shall pass…." She said with a cheery voice and a grin to match. "Charge!"
"You just had to open you god damn mouth…" mill muttered, blasting a star spell into the crowd of bloodthirsty mercenaries.
"Scatter!" Laharl yelled. Everyone braced themselves and expected to be smashed and impaled against the doorway…but the attacks never came.
"What the…" Neige looked at the pathetic display in front of her. The large fighting force, armed to the teeth, and ready to tear anyone limb from limb, was now smashed together in the narrow hallway. "why aren't they moving?"
"I think…" Lyra started. "I think the hallway got so crowded with soldiers that they actually all got stuck. It's like trying to fit an adult's hand in a Pringles can. You can get it in part of the way but it'll get stuck eventually."
"That's just…unbelievably pathetic…I mean, come on…" Fleck said.
"Do we…do we still have to kill them?" Misha asked.
A large explosion rocked the hall they were standing in. "What the-!" Laharl looked around and saw that Mill had fired another spell at the stunned archers, wiping them out.
"What? They were still the enemy."
"Sir, do we really still need to kill them? It just seems like a bit of a…well a dick move." Silo said.
"But how do we get across?" Misha asked.
"Well…" Silo placed his hand on his chin and looked like he was thinking really hard.
"If you don't come up with a plan soon, the prince will just start carving right through them." Misha stated.
"Oh! What if we-" Before silo could finish, Krugis grabbed hi by the collar and threw him into the air. "What? Wait, what are you-!" Silo bounced off the ceiling and landed (crashed) diagonally down to the floor past the crammed in guards. "Why…?"
Misha immediately pulled out her sword with the intent to kill Krugis but was stopped by Mill. "Whoa there! Easy, girl! We don't need to start fighting each-" Krugis then picked up Mill by the back of his collar and tossed him down the hallway in a similar manner to Silo. Upon his crash landing Mill staggered up. "Rip out his vocal cords!" mill yelled before collapsing on the ground.
Just as Fleck, Vic, and Misha closed in around Krugis, Celeste and Flonne moved in and stopped them. "H-hey! Come one everyone! He's just trying to help! Right, Krugis?" Celeste asked.
"Hmmm…." Krugis stood there thinking.
"Krugis!"
"Yeah, Yeah, I'm here to help!…I guess…"
"Can any of you think of a better way to get across?" Celeste asked.
Fleck stepped up. "We could freeze them into a block of ice and just walk across."
"Does anyone here know ice magic?" Flonne asked. Everyone looked at Krugis.
"Don't look at me!"
"Why not? You did all that ice pillar crap when we last fought!" Lyra said.
"I was using a terrain altering spell, I can only use minor ice magic."
"Then what about mill?" Misha asked.
"I can only use healing and star magic!" Mill yelled.
"anyone else?" Celeste asked. Everyone stayed quiet. "All right then." Celeste gave the word for Krugis to continue.
"Everybody get into two lines!" He yelled.
"I can't believe you're supporting this…" Fleck muttered as he and the others formed up.
"Sorry…" Celeste said.
"Why two?" Neige asked.
"Isn't it obvious? So the prince can practice also." Krugis said, gesturing over to Laharl who was cracking his knuckles.
"Suck up…" Fleck muttered.
"So prince…" Krugis asked as Laharl began tossing people. "do you have any idea who it is that rules this castle?"
"I think I have a hunch…" Laharl said with a confident smile.
"So -San…Since I'm dealing with another one of these 'scrapped Main character concepts' like you, do I have to be aware of anything?" Fleck asked.
"Well, all I know about the one we're facing is that she is extremely proficient in the forms of Ice magic. She's also a bit of a sadist. She appears to be your typical stuck up evil chick at first glance, but once you get to know her…it goes downhill from there." -San said, his voice getting more and more depressed as he went on.
"You uh…you sound like you've experienced this first hand." Fleck said.
"What did you do? Sleep with her, dood?" Vic asked.
-San froze up instantly, his eyes wide with terror. He began mumbling to himself.
"I think that last one hit a little too close to home." Fleck said to vic. "-San? It'll be okay…I think…" Fleck patted -San's shoulder. "wait…are you crying?" Fleck saw that -San was shaking slightly. Ooookay… Now I'm really worried…"
"Hey, hurry it up! We don't have all day!" Laharl ordered.
"R-right!" Fleck said, hoping he wouldn't hit the ceiling before he landed. ( he also hoped he didn't jinx himself)
"I can't believe they were that stupid…" Alice said, pouting. What kind of mercenary gang gets themselves crammed so tightly into the hallway that they can't even move. You have to actually try to be that bad."
"Ma'am" a warrior came up from behind and knelt down. "The enemy will be arriving any minute now."
Yeah, yeah…geez." Alice stretched and walked towards the main room where her employer was waiting.
As the group moved through the remainder of the large hallway something caught Etna's eye. It was a large painting of the late King Krichevskoy with a plethora of roses in the background. "Prince, Look!" Etna said.
"It's a painting of my old man…" Laharl said upon seeing the picture.
"So this is what the King looked like." Flonne commented.
"Prince…could I have it?" Etna asked.
"Sure. Make's no difference to me." Laharl said.
"Hey…how did the king die anyway." Krugis asked.
"He choked on a black pretzel…It's ironic that one of his favorite snack foods is what brought his end." Silo said.
"Don't make it sound cooler than it actually is." Misha said.
"Wait…the overlord, the most powerful demon in the netherworld, died by choking on a mid morning snack?" Krugis said, astonished.
"Yeah, man. And as a result, the company that made them went bankrupt because everyone suddenly declared them a health hazard." Mill said, stuffing his face with a hand full of black pretzels.
"Mill, you're eating them." Silo said.
"What? Just because they're bankrupt doesn't make them illegal. I don't care what you say, this stuff is good." Mill said, taking in another handful. Suddenly, he began to cough and sputter. He clutched his throat as if something was inside it, blocking any air from entering his lungs. "Hnnn….Heghk!" Mill fell to his knees, pounding on his chest in a vain attempt to spit out the black pretzel.
"Anyway, our target shouldn't be too far ahead." Laharl said. "Let's hurry and go home! My favorite show will be on in a few hours and I don't know if I set the VCR to record or not." Laharl ordered and gestured for everyone to move forward.
"Haghk…you still use….a …VCR…heh heh haghk!…Lame…" Mill forced out that last insult and then fell on his back. As everyone began to follow Laharl, Fleck briefly passed over Mill and brought his foot down hard on his stomach, hard enough to force the black pretzel out of mill's throat. "Gha! Oh…" Mill coughed and spat as he took deep breathes. "Oh god…I though I was a goner…"
"One…Two…Three…" A very unpleasant voice echoed through the large chamber. A large, overly muscular and bipedal pig was counting a large pile of gold coins. "Oh money, how I love thee. With you to fund my military campaign there will be no one standing between me and the throne…" The pig man snorted in laughter.
"Ugh…how can someone with such an extravagant home behave like such a…" Alice turned away from her employer to hid her disgust.
"Such a what, ma'am?" one of her soldiers asked.
"Well…a pig." Alice replied. Without warning, the large double-doors suddenly burst open and a sizeable group walked in with a young boy at the lead. "So they've finally arrived.
As the pig man, who's name was now revealed to be hoggmeiser, the late king's ex-butler, and Laharl exchanged pleasantries, Fleck was eyeing Alice from across the room. "She doesn't seem that tough." Fleck examined the area around him. He, along with everyone else, were at the bottom of a medium length staircase that led to the actual main area of the room. He could spot several couches and chairs with various animal pelts laid across them. Aside from that, several archers and warriors were spread out in various positions. "Let's get this over with." Fleck said, drawing his sword. Everyone else followed suit.
Before long, the battle commenced. Laharl, Etna, and Flonne charged at Hoggmeiser while the underlings were left to each other. Fleck, Vic, and -San lead the charge as several members of the group broke off to engage in their own fight. For some reason, the enemy forces consisted almost entirely of male brawlers with Alice and Hoggmeiser being the only ones to break that trend. Before long, only Fleck, Vic, and -San were the only ones not engaged in a direct fight.
"Well…" Fleck tripped an enemy soldier who attempted to run past him. "..we got dispersed pretty quickly…" As the trio neared Alice, a small grin appeared on her face. She twirled her staff and slammed it into the floor. Several ice spikes materialized above her and pointed themselves at Fleck. "Oh…" The ice spikes immediately shot forward, causing cracks and holes to appear in the floor where they hit. "Serpentine! Serpentine!" Fleck said, running in a zig zag pattern across the room.
"This is what she does! She isolates her target and then spams her most powerful attacks! It's really annoying!" -San said.
"Well…two can play at that game!" Fleck's eyes darted around until he found Vic running around in a circle. For some reason, most of the ice attacks were being focused on Vic.
"I know I should probably focus on Fleck but…using this thing as target practice is just so addicting…It's like pac-man…" Alice said as she watched Vic yell and run.
Vic eventually saw Fleck running towards him and hope blossomed inside. "Fleck…you actually came…You really are my best fri-" Vic soon realized that Fleck had no intention of stopping and realized what he was going to do. "No. No. No." Vic started running away from fleck and towards alice. "No. NO, Oh crap, oh God!" Fleck caught up to Vic and kicked him like a soccer ball towards alice. "I hate all of youuuuuuu, Dooooooood!"
Alice simply pointed her staff at the rapidly approaching prinny and froze him into a block of ice. Vic fell to the ground and slid to the back of the room.
"well, back to plan A. Hyaaaaah!" Fleck began running in a zig zag pattern again trying to avoid the renewed surge of ice spikes coming at him. "There's got to be a way around this…" Fleck muttered as he ran. He began to suspect that Alice had stopped aiming entirely and just fired in any direction she hasn't yet. "Maybe… oh wait…" Fleck saw that -San had been cornered behind an unusually tall ice spike and was using it as cover. "Damn it… the only way out of this is if something really convenient like if some ultimate power was awakened from within…" As soon as the thought entered Fleck's mind a huge explosion of light erupted from behind Alice. "…ME I was gonna say ME. I wanted the ultimate power to awaken within ME!" Fleck yelled in anguish.
"What the hell?" Alice stopped casting ice spells and whipped around to see what was happening. She saw the frozen block that was vic explode into a million shards. Vic was standing upright, a piercing glare in his eyes. "What's going on…" Alice said, worry in her voice.
"You…" Vic said in an uncharacteristically dark tone. "…I have suffered enough of this humiliation…" A black silhouette appeared behind vic. The exact details couldn't be made out but it was vaguely human shaped. The way it was shaped suggested it was wearing samurai armor and had it's hair in a ponytail. It also had two glowing red eyes. "Taste my blade!" Vic's voice was no longer the wimpy prinny version but a very deep and commanding one (imagine the voice of Crispin Freeman or Travis Willingham). Vic drew his prinny daggers while the shadow behind him pulled out two Katanas. Vic swung forward, sending a black wave out towards Alice.
"Craaaaaaap!" Alice yelled as she brought her staff up to block. The attack hit her with great force. She gritted her teeth and stood her ground…for only a moment. She started to slide back a few inches and then was fully blown backwards through the air, slamming against the side of one of her own ice spikes, slumping down on the ground.
Fleck and -San, who were the only ones who witnessed the event, apparently, stared in awe. Fleck looked at Vic and watched the shadow disappear and Vic fall on his face, unconscious. "H-hol-l-ly shit…"
As Fleck stepped out of his hiding spot, he saw Alice get back up, using her staff as a crutch. "You little…" She started up.
"Crap!" Fleck readied his sword but it was too late. Alice had charged up her spell and was about to release it. What Fleck didn't notice though, was that Vic's last attack had cracked Alice's staff, making her magic unstable at best. Alice fired her ice spell, but it back fired. The Ice ball appeared in front of her but it grew to a massive size and exploded. It sent Fleck and -San reeling back as the resulting blizzard engulfed the half of the room they had been fighting in.
Hoggmeiser was at Laharl's feet, thanking him for sparing him and swearing full loyalty. Laharl, on the other hand, was trying to shake him off. Flonned noticed a cool breeze and looked in it's direction. "Hey!" She called out to Silo and the others. "Could you guys go check out the rest of the room, please!" Flonne asked.
"Right!" Silo motioned for the others to follow. Before long, they found the portion of the room that Fleck and the rest were fighting in. "My…God…" Silo said, examining the area.
"How did we miss this?" Misha asked.
"Fleck! Fleeeck!" Celeste called out frantically. She heard a crumbling noise and turned to see what it was. She saw Fleck hanging on the -San as support.
"Sup…" he said in a sleepy tone. Celeste ran over to him and hugged him. "Owowowow! Easy!" He saw the others approaching and grinned.
"I'll ask about this later…We should focus on getting out of here as soon as possible." Silo said.
"Why, is this place coming down or something?" -San inquired.
"No, it's just that I can't stand it here… by the way, Hoggmeiser is joining up with us." Silo explained.
"What? Why?" Fleck said perplexed.
"That new angel chick we picked up said something to the prince that changed his mind about offing the guy…It's strange…she has this weird aura about her that seems to make everything seem obnoxiously bright and friendly." Silo stated.
"Well, let's get vic first. He's over there somewhere." Fleck said. Everyone fanned out to search for Vic amongst the rubble.
Eventually, Neige found Alice standing amidst the pile, except…Alice had been completely turned to ice. Not frozen, she was 100% frozen water. "Whoah…cool pose!" Alice was still in her spell readying position. "This would look great in the courtyard."
Fleck, -San, and Celeste had found vic among several chunks of Ice. "What happened to him?" Celeste asked.
"I honestly couldn't tell you…I'm still sorting it out myself." Fleck poked vic with his foot. The prinny twitched a little and muttered something about being unstoppable. "He's okay…" Fleck picked Vic up and carried him under his arm. "Let's go!" The group made their way back to Laharl who was getting impatient. After yelling at them for a few seconds they retreated for home, leaving a horrendously destroyed castle in the process.
The next Day
The new ice statue stood on top of a pedestal in the center of a newly installed fountain in the training grounds. Several ducks swam in it. Fleck and his squad were gathered in the corner again, this time using an actual table instead of Vic's body. Once again, snakes and ladders was the game of the day. "Come on…" Fleck let his dice fly and landed a seven. "Shoot…" Fleck moved his piece onto the snake and was pushed back three rows.
"No cheating this time?" Mill taunted. Fleck held his fingers up like he was going to snap them which caused the healer to flinch.
"I'm controlling myself this one time so don't push it." Fleck said and picked up the dice. "Vic, it's your turn!" Fleck said. "Vic!" Fleck heard no response. "God damn it not again!" Fleck turned to see Vic dancing around, his paycheck in his hands.
"I can't tell which one I liked better, broke vic or pay check vic." Silo commented.
"I know which one I don't want." Fleck thought in his head, remembering the black shadow. "Was Vic being serious this whole time?" Fleck wondered out loud.
Next episode preview
FLECK: Such a tragedy! After years of fighting side by side. The dark lord that Fleck and his companions had been searching for was actually…vic himself
VIC: when did this happen, dood?
FLECK: Though his heart is racked with grief, Fleck must carry out his duty and defeat the source of the worlds malice, even if it was a valued comrade.
VIC: but.. I'm not the source of anything, dood….
MISHA: Forget it, we've lost him…again…
FLECK: fight on, brave warriors, bring back the light to the netherworld!
MILL: the netherworld had light?
FLECK: next time on DISGAEA: Rhapsody of the soul! Episode 4: The lights in the sky are stars!
VIC: Hey! You stole that from that one show!
FLECK: shut it….
Hello again, everyone! Sorry it took so long! I've just been swamped by so much work. You'd be surprised how much typing you need to do in high school… anyway, here's some trivia on the chapter, whether or not you read it is of no concern to me.
Alice: a self centered narcissist, Alice is always going for the spotlight. She was thought up when the author considered a magical girl parody but ultimately scrapped the idea due to having to much self respect. I intended for her to be a recurring character but I just couldn't figure out how to use her well.
Dark vic: Vic's original form (?) has finally been made manifest. This will definitely come back later.
