Author's Note: Hello! Wow, thanks for all the new faves/follows/reviews! Your feedback really means a lot and it encourages me when I'm writing. Anyways, I'm thinking maybe one or two more chapters for this (although to be honest, I have no idea HAHA). I really enjoy exploring this reincarnation relationship between the two of them, but I also have an idea for how I want it to end. Well, we'll see! I'd love to hear your comments along with anything you want/don't want to see in this story.
Also, some shameless self-promotion, but I've got a series up on AO3 called We're Growing Up Together! It's currently only Jean/Armin but I'm thinking about exploring some other pairings as well. Please check it out if you're enjoying my writing! series/56335
Armin is late.
Jean is waiting impatiently on a rickety bench outside the boys' cabin, anxiously picking at stray splinters. Today is the day. He's spent the last two weeks agonizing over how he's going to confess, picking out just the right words. Everything is planned out and he knows exactly what he's going to say. He nearly stabs himself when a soft voice murmurs his name and he looks up into eyes the colour of the afternoon sky as his rehearsed lines all disappear from his mind. He panics.
"Armin," he replies shakily and hopes his voice doesn't betray his nerves, patting the seat next to him. The blond smiles and sits, leaning so that their shoulders barely brush and the touch gives him courage. "Hey, Armin..."
He doesn't mean to kiss him, but suddenly he's got his hand fisted in his collar, pulling him up to meet him and their lips are crushed against each other. It's by no means what he imagines his first kiss to be and he's slightly horrified at how he nearly missed, but then Armin is kissing back and everything is perfect. His lips are soft and pliant, parting when he presses his tongue gently against them, his free hand reaching to cup the back of his neck, pressing them together. He can feel a hand on his shoulder and one on his hip, and he can't help thinking this is the way things ought to be. When they finally pull away for air, breathing heavily, he grips thin shoulders tightly, his eyes wide.
"I like you!" He blurts out in a somewhat panicked manner. "I really, really like you!"
"Yeah," Armin replies a little breathlessly. "I gathered as much."
Then, they're laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world and Jean's afraid his heart is going to beat right out of his chest. The blond leans forward, his cheeks dusted pink and his fingers intertwining with his, a wide smile across his face. He's easily the most beautiful thing Jean has ever seen. "Good thing I like you too."
"Yeah. Good thing," he murmurs, a little dazed, pressing kisses to his forehead, his cheeks, his nose before letting their lips meet once more. Armin tastes faintly sweet and he smells like pine trees and citrus. He feels like the happiest person alive and his worries seem so far away. For now, at least, he can forget about the bad mess hall food, the crazy commanders, the titans..
Wait, titans?
His alarm clock goes off.
Jean wakes with a start, heart pounding and fingers scrambling at the sheets next to him. It takes a moment to recognize the familiar room with its crooked blinds and tan rug. He sits there for a moment, a hand touching his mouth. It had felt so real. He can still feel Armin's chapped lips pressed with his, small yet strong hands gripping at his shirt, eyelashes fluttering across his cheeks. Groaning, he falls back onto his bed, throwing one of his pillows at the wall in frustration. This whole developing feelings thing is taking a mental toll on him and he's so fed up - with himself, with how confused he is, with how he can't figure anything out. He wonders if he closes his eyes, he'll see Armin again.
x
"Wow, you look awful," Marco remarks over scrambled eggs and slightly burnt toast. The brunette pointedly ignores him, nursing his coffee instead. He takes a long sip, then sighs before settling on munching his breakfast loudly. Marco looks genuinely concerned. "Are you... Having nightmares again?"
Jean shakes his head violently and speaks around a mouthful of food. "I keep dreaming about Armin."
"Oh, so good dreams keeping you up?" Marco grins, wagging his eyebrows in an infuriating manner. His roommate punches him, unapologetic when he makes a noise of pain, his cheeks heated as his mind suddenly entertains glimpses of a pale Armin spread over his bed sheets, of flushed skin and -
"It… I don't know, it seems so real." Jean's voice is hollow, confused. "Like memories, you know? But I know these things have never happened before. Last night, I dreamt I-I kissed him. We were at some sort of camp. I've never taken him camping before."
Marco nods, his expression serious. He's not sure what to say, so he just nudges Jean's foot reassuringly. The other grunts.
"I guess I'll figure it out," he sighs, glancing up at the clock. "I gotta go."
Marco watches as he dumps his dishes in the sink and rushes off, wondering why a camping ground seems so familiar.
x
Jean is desperate to see him again. He can't stop thinking about soft blond hair and sweet whispers. But Armin has more of those crazy papers to turn in for the end of summer session so he's stuck with phone calls to tide him over for a week. They talk almost every night with Jean murmuring encouragements to a sleepy Armin. It's the longest week of his life.
After hanging up and promising to meet the next day after class, he nestles himself among his blankets and quickly falls asleep, dreaming of soft kisses and hushed giggles. He can't remember why, but he knows they should be quiet, knows they have to be quick as he presses a slim figure back towards a dusty shelf illuminated only by the moonlight. The night is cold and the wind nips through his thin clothes, but the body pressed up against his is warm and inviting. He whispers the other's name as he kisses his neck, sucking gently to leave a mark because Jean's just slightly possessive, and Armin growls playfully as he slides icy fingers under his waistband. He can't help the high pitched squeal that escapes his mouth when those fingers wrap around him and -
He wakes up suddenly with soiled sheets and feels like a pervert. How is he going to face him tomorrow?
x
As soon as Armin drops off his last assignment, Jean is outside waiting. The blond slides into the passenger seat with a sweet smile that makes him feel like mush inside but there are also dark circles under his eyes that require his attention.
"You look like you haven't slept in a year."
"Pretty accurate," Armin yawns, leaning back. "I feel like I could sleep until winter break."
"Fall semester hasn't even started," Jean laughs, reaching over to ruffle his hair. "Want me to drive you home?"
Armin opens his mouth to say something but then he closes it and smiles wearily, nodding. When they pull up in front of his apartment building, he leans over and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before dashing off, grinning widely. Jean looks as if Christmas has come early.
x
Armin is asleep on his shoulder, a comfortable and nostalgic weight. He gently pries the controller from his hands and lays it off to the side, smiling longingly at the smaller of the two as he stirs.
"Mhmm, did I fall asleep?" He asks, eyes still closed as he nuzzles closer to the brunette, wrapping the comforter around him tightly.
"Right in the middle of the boss battle," Jean teases, leaning down to rest his head against Armin's. The other snorts softly, eyelids fluttering. "Don't worry. I won for us."
"Good."
"You hungry? There's still some pizza."
"Maybe later," Armin yawns, tilting his face upwards so that their foreheads are touching and he smiles and they've done this before.
Before he knows it, he's kissing Armin and nothing's going according to plan - he's planned this! - but it's hard to be upset when soft lips are pressed against his in just the right way. He can feel a hand come up to tentatively cup his cheek and Armin whispers his name like he wants this as badly as Jean does. It's sweet and simple at first but there's this sort of hunger that's laid dormant in him (for years) since they met and the dam breaks. He presses a little harder and Armin is nothing but agreeable, parting his mouth open as one hand reaches up to tangle in dual-coloured hair. He tastes of honey and the vanilla milkshake they shared earlier and something that's distinctly Armin.
Something about this seems familiar, like frantic fumbling in rough sheets and trying to be quiet. Like the scent of hay and stolen kisses in the shadows of the stables, like holding hands late into the night.
He's insatiable, hands wandering up and down his sides, but still hesitant, still nervous because this is Armin and he definitely can't screw things up with him. Armin makes it hard to think straight, hard to breathe, Armin makes his chest tighten and his heart race. Armin is moaning softly as their tongues meet and their bodies press closer, closer.
This feels right. No, this is right.
Finally, lungs screaming for air, he pulls away reluctantly, panting heavily as he stares into bright blue eyes. He wants this more than he's ever wanted anything before and one hand is tangled in golden silk, one clutching desperately at a blue cotton tee that brings out his eyes.
"You're so perfect," he whispers as he leans down to kiss his neck, sucking gently, relishing the noises he's able to coax from the blond, biting ever so slightly on his pulse point. He knows where to touch, knows all of his sensitive spots. Everything is muscle memory and he isn't even thinking, he's just doing. Armin gasps, back arching, and Jean is trying so hard to control himself but it's getting so hard.
"Jean, Jean," Armin shudders as lips graze over his collarbone and nibble. His voice is breathy and needy, each syllable dripping with meaning, his arms wrapped around the other's waist, tugging him closer insistently. "Jean."
The brunette looks up, their noses brushing, and inhales deeply, his fingers shaking a little bit. He hasn't realized how much he's wanted him, how badly he's needed this and he needs a moment to calm himself down. Armin runs his hands through his hair, mumbling sweet nothings and he's feeling dizzy, overwhelmed as they share a gentle kiss.
"Wow," the blond exhales against his lips and he can't help but smile.
"Yeah," he murmurs, kissing him again. They twine their hands together and they fit like puzzle pieces. He closes his eyes, savouring the moment as he softly admits, "Sorry. I-I had it all planned out and everything. I was going to kiss you on the lakeside while the sun sets, not on my couch after playing video games. We'd have a nice dinner, maybe walk around a bit."
Armin laughs and he feels his cheeks colour. "Don't be. That was perfect."
They idle away the hours with the television on in the background, limbs tangled, talking softly. Jean kisses him over and over, sighing his name into his skin. Armin's voice is a lullaby and soon, he finds himself leaning into the crook of his neck, eyelids heavy as he suggests going to sleep. He loans him a tshirt and some basketball shorts and it's endearing how large they are on him, especially when the blond puffs out his cheeks in mock anger. They climb into his twin and it's a little crowded, but Armin fits perfectly and he's out in minutes.
That night, there aren't any nightmares.
