Chapter 4: Years Later
I walk quickly down the corridor, trying to block out the memories that were still fresh in my mind after all the years, despite the fact that I hadn't been back to Hogwarts since I graduated. I had never gotten over Severus Snape's last good-bye. He'd told me that he had never loved me. That he never wanted to see me again. I had gotten onto the Hogwarts express in tears, but with the help of my friends, had slowly regained my dignity. They'd both tried to tell me that I was too good for him, but nothing they said could ease the pain. So I ran. I ran and started over and never looked back. That is…I never looked back until I was called upon by my best friend.
I came back to Hogwarts because Voldemort was threatening the wizarding world. My world. I came back to join the Order of the Phoenix. I was dreading the thought of seeing Severus again, and wasn't at all surprised when they'd told me he'd joined Voldemort's ranks. A part of me still didn't want to believe he had…the same part of me that still loved him…the part that had never believed the last thing he'd said to me was true. I thought I had drowned that part of me back home in Ireland. Back home I could go weeks, sometimes even months without thinking about him. I couldn't do that here. I wanted to go home. But at the same time, I couldn't abandon the people I cared about.
I mutter the password to Dumbledore's office and slowly climb the steps, trying to compose myself before having to face the headmaster. The door swings open as I reach the top of the stairs and hear a voice inside telling me to come in.
"It's good to see you still among the living." Dumbledore greets me cheerily.
I smile half heartedly. "Yes, well that last little task was a close call, wasn't it?"
"Luckily, no one was fatally injured." He replies, motioning for me to sit down.
I take a seat on the other side of his desk as he continues. "That is, actually, what I asked you here for. Something strange has happened. I have received a letter from Severus Snape. It seems that he caught sight of you during the last raid you help divert. He wants to speak with you alone. Confident that you would not turn him down, he even sent directions to a flat he temporarily rented in London and has requested that you meet him there at nine thirty tomorrow evening. However, I will not ask you to go, and I strongly advise that, if you do go, you not go alone."
I study him in stunned silence, not sure how to reply as what he was saying slowly sinks in. The impossibility of what was happening was overwhelming. However, after taking it all in, I knew what I had to do.
"Is there any chance that he will form an alliance with us?" I question determinedly.
"I'd like to believe that there is, but you must keep in mind that you are still recovering from your last little expedition…this is dangerous." He answers, choosing his words carefully.
"I want order members to conceal themselves somewhere close by to where I'm supposed to meet him. If I need help, I'll call them… and if I get myself killed you'll have one less deatheater to worry about." I reply quickly, "I think the risk is worth taking."
"It will be difficult for you to see him again." Dumbledore points out.
"I can do this." I object, "It's not personal, it's for the order."
"Then I will owl him that you will be there." He agrees finally.
"Do we know where he's staying?" I ask curiously.
"If we knew that, I would go after him myself." He replies.
He quickly scribbles something down on a piece of paper and gives it to a large black barn owl that was sitting on the corner of his desk before turning back to me.
"I admire your courage, but now I think you should get some rest." He suggests.
"I plan to." I agree standing up. He gets to his feet and follows me to the door.
"And Angela?" he stops me.
I raise an eyebrow as I look back to face him.
"You will be careful? He is not the young man you knew while attending Hogwarts. You must remember that."
"He never was the young man I thought I knew at Hogwarts." I murmur before turning and making my way out of Hogwarts.
I slowly make my way to the flat, where members of the order were already hiding. They had placed antidisapperation charms on the property and were ready to come if I needed them. I reach the building and went up three flights of stairs and into the first door on my right.
The room was well furnished with a black marble center table, a black leather sofa and a matching chair. The walls and carpet were white, and the window was covered by a thick black curtain.
I nervously gripped my wand and took a seat facing the door. The last few minutes until nine thirty felt as though they lasted on hour, but the door finally swung open and four men filed in. One, of which, was Severus Snape.
I quickly stand up to face them, instantly recognizing them for what they were-deatheaters.
"She's grown quite nicely, Severus." Lucius Malfoy says, his eyes slowly moving down my body as Severus shuts the door behind them.
I ignore him, keeping my attention on the man I was here to see.
"Come alone, my arse." I snap at him.
"If you weren't going to stick to the conditions I couldn't very well risk being out numbered now, could I?" he counters. "We'd have arrived earlier, but we had a run in with your little friends down stairs. Apparently they thought they could intimidate us into staying in line."
"What did you do to them?" I demand fearfully. If they got hurt, it would be my fault.
"You don't trust me, do you?" he observes, narrowing his eyes at me.
"I don't make a habit of trusting my enemies." I snap.
"They are where they were, completely unharmed. I admire their loyalty to you. They said that if we laid I hand on you they'd give us to the giant squid at Hogwarts before handing us over to the ministry." He smirks, "It's her mating season. A very creative punishment in its own right."
"You lay a hand on me, and I'll kill you all myself." I sneer.
"I don't think you're in a position to threaten us!" Lucius snarls, taking out his wand.
"I want you all out!" Severus orders quickly.
"Severus, I don't think-"Lucius starts to object.
"No, I don't need you here. I told you you'd have to leave. It will be easier to make the offer in privacy. Now go." Severus snaps at him.
Lucius glares at him, but Severus holds his gaze with a determined glare of his own.
"Come on, Lucius." One of the other deatheaters cuts in as the others start to leave.
Once they're gone, Severus leans against the closed door and folds his arms across his chest.
"Alone at last." He smirks, studying me.
"Stay away from me." I reply warningly.
I briefly sense a change in his expression, a look of regret in his eyes, perhaps, but he quickly resumes his guarded stance.
"Angel, I didn't ask you to come with the intent to hurt you." He whispers, keeping his expression carefully neutral.
"Then why am I here?" I demand, "what happened to 'I never want to see you again', Snape?"
"Forgive me..." He replies hesitantly, "I was about to become a deatheater. Lucius didn't trust you, and I didn't want you involved at that particular moment."
The silence hangs between us like a curse as he approaches me. Standing in front of me, he lifts his hand to caress the side of my face with the back of his fingers the way he used to. I unconsciously lean into his touch, closing my eyes.
Realizing what I'm doing, I jerk away from him, quickly taking a couple of steps back and silently cursing at myself for letting my guard down so easily.
"You're a deatheater, Severus…I'm a member of the order." I point out, meeting his gaze.
"You don't have to be." He say quietly, studying me.
I gasp, unable to believe what he was suggesting.
"You know, I often wonder what my life would have been like if you hadn't left me, Severus." I begin, searching for the right words. "I wanted all the things we talked about. I wanted the life we planned, and I wanted it with you. When you left me, you took my future with you. You changed your mind at the last second because your friends told you to. You still allow your friends to rule you, which is why you're in the darkness you're in now. You're a coward, Severus." I whisper fiercely, "But you don't have to be."
"Angel,-" he objects, but I cut him off.
"No. If that's the reason you asked me to come, then no. I have no reason to be here."
With that I shot around him and out the door, running down the steps and out of the building. I found the order members in the alley way quietly talking amongst themselves. They all looked up questioningly as I arrived. I shake my head, hiding my disappointment.
