Double posting today because I'll be out of touch for the weekend, and also because I'm impatient.

Hugs and Chocolate,

~Hailee


"Talk to me, Dean. What's going on?" Crowley asked as he took a seat in the living room next to Dean.

Dean shrugged.

"You know, at some point, I'm going to have to get a verbal response, Dean." When the comment was ignored, Crowley sat back and waited in silence.

"What do you want, Crowley?" Dean finally spat out.

"Proof of life," Crowley answered cheerfully. "Now then, that's taken care of. Tell me how life's been treating you."

"Fine," Dean answered.

"Well, you aren't in handcuffs this time, so tell me if that feels like an upgrade or a downgrade."

Dean hesitated.

"I would have thought that would have been an obvious one," Crowley said, seemingly surprised. "Is there something we need to address? Because living at home should be a definite upgrade from being in jail, wearing cuffs."

Dean shifted but he knew that he had to answer this one if only so that the state didn't start questioning Bobby's qualifications again. "I guess it's just hard to know that I let Sammy down, and I didn't have to think about that when I was in jail," he muttered.

Crowley narrowed his eyes and cocked his head thoughtfully. "And it had nothing to do with the fact that an angry male figure was something you could relate to easier than a healthy family environment? Because it may be comfortable to stay where you have always been, but you know it won't be better for you in the long run."

"Deputy Walker," Dean definitely spit that out, "had nothing to do with it."

"But something at the jail did?"

Dean purposefully didn't answer, and Crowley hummed thoughtfully.

"Someone at the jail? Well, considering how you are right now, it obviously wasn't me, and Bobby is still here. That leaves Roman and Mills. Should I keep going, or are you going to make it easy on me?"

Dean sighed, but he was interested in what Crowley would deduce here, so he didn't offer any insight.

"Roman is a good case worker, but he's a slippery person, so he wouldn't appeal to you, who values honesty and straight forwardness. In fact, those are two of the Sheriff's best qualities, from what I've seen of her. Not to mention, she's exactly the kind of person that you might learn to see as a mother figure, and I completely understand if you were safer when she was around."

Dean thought about it, and was surprised to find that it actually made sense. "I guess," he conceded.

"What do you think made you trust her, Dean?" Crowley asked.

Dean sighed, but he'd come this far. It wouldn't hurt to answer another question, he figured. "Never been purposefully hurt by a woman, and she was the only person there who seemed to actually believe that I would be alright."

He could tell that Crowley was dying to ask about Bobby, but he held his tongue and mulled over that information. "Purposefully?" he finally asked.

Dean shrugged. "My mom died. It hurt. It wasn't her fault." He'd found that concise, basic sentences were the easiest way to discuss his mother.

"And how old were you when your mother died?" Crowley asked.

"Isn't it in my file?" Dean asked as he began to shift uncomfortably in his seat, not wanting to go down this road.

Crowley nodded. "I can tell that this is getting a bit close for you. Just give me the age, and we'll stop for today, alright? Eventually, we will come back to this, but for now, I don't think we know each other well enough."

"I was four," Dean stated blankly, staring at the carpet and willing himself not to see his mother's hair and face, not to hear her singing to him gently, not to feel her arms around him, and most of all, not to hear her screaming as she burned in the house fire.

Crowley placed a hand on his shoulder. "Dean?"

Dean shook his head quickly. "Huh?" The thudding of his heart in his chest seemed heavier and faster than usual, and he felt himself begin to lose his firm control on his anxiety.

"You spaced out on me for a second there," Crowley explained evenly as if he understood that Dean was in a fragile state of mind right now. "I'm going to send Sam in if that's alright with you?"

Dean nodded. Sammy would be good. Sammy would understand.

Sure enough, Sam took one look at his brother and was instantly on the floor in front of him, his little hands cupping Dean's face.

"Dean, Dean! Dee, it's Sammy. Stay with me, Dee. I need you here, Dee. I need you to let her go so you can stay with me. Dee?"

It was like hearing through a vacuum, but it was Sammy, so he forced himself to focus and tried his best to listen to what he was saying.

Dean drew in a slow, deep breath and felt his heart beat return to normal as he finally became fully aware of the kid, and he laid a hand over Sammy's, smiling softly into the worried eyes in front of him.

"I'm still here, Sammy," he murmured. "You know I'll never actually leave you."

Sammy nodded and stood back up, relief palpable on his face.

"You know, if you ever have a growth spurt, you'll be way too big to do that," Dean laughed.

"Then we need to get you better before I grow any taller," Sam answered seriously, walking away now that the crisis was averted.

Dean reached out and caught his arm. "Hey, Sammy." His brother turned back to him cautiously. "Sam, I'm going to get better, I promise. This is the beginning of the end for that part of our lives, okay? We're going to be alright."

Sam nodded and let a small smile through his worried expression.

"I believe you, Dee."

Dean smiled. "You know I'd do anything for you, Sammy."

Sam rubbed his thumb over Dean's bruised knuckles thoughtfully. "I know," he answered significantly.

Dean hung his head.

"No, Dean, don't," Sam insisted. "I understand now, I really do. You don't scare me, Dee. In fact, I almost love you for taking care of me, jerk."

Dean offered a half smile. "Love you too, bitch."

Still slightly shaken over the incident with Crowley, but reassured now that he had seen Sam, Dean hardly even paid attention to what he was doing until he realized just too late that he had retraced his steps from two nights ago and had once again run right into Cas, who had apparently seen it coming, if the smirk on his face as he steadied Dean had anything to do with it.

"I'd say we've got to stop running into each other like this, but I enjoy it a little too much," Cas commented, his lips quirking up.

Dean had yet to raise his eyes high enough to meet Castiel's. He was nearly overcome with shame over bowling over his dreamboat guy after accidentally standing him up due to getting arrested.

"I'm sorry," Dean muttered, looking at the ground.

"Hey," Cas tucked a finger under Dean's chin and lifted it, staring into his eyes. While it sounded like he meant to continue with a statement, he made no move to do so, his eyes widening dramatically and his mouth hanging slightly open.

Dean was too busy being caught up in the wonder that was Cas's eyes to even notice that Cas was staring back just as rudely.

Cas recovered first. "Sorry," he apologized quickly, not stepping back. "It's just, god, I don't even have the right words. I can't believe how absolutely gorgeous you are now that I can actually see you, like, oh my fucking god your eyes are so green and how the hell did you get your lashes so perfect and you have so many more freckles than I realized can I please kiss them all?"

Dean came back to himself rather suddenly at the mention of kissing and stepped back hurriedly. "Look, Cas, I mean first of all, wow, your eyes are so distracting that I almost didn't even notice your biceps today and they were like my favorite thing. But seriously, I, uh, I need to explain something."

"I swear to god, Dean," Cas breathed, "if this is where you tell me that you aren't actually gay, I'm going to go insane."

Dean barked out a nervous laugh suddenly. "Oh, no. Definitely gay. I've got the scars to prove it."

"The what?" Cas asked, frowning. "The hell is that supposed to mean?"

Dean froze and quickly backtracked. "Nothing, no, it doesn't mean, oh, um, no it's just something that, and Sammy, we, uh, I forgot that you weren't one of the people I grew up with. It was kind of an inside joke, I guess," he recovered lamely. "Anyway," he continued quickly seeing Cas's disbelief at his hurriedly fabricated story, "I'm definitely gay, and if I wasn't before I met you, I'd definitely be questioning now."

"That's always a nice thing to hear," Cas answered easily, willing to brush over the taboo topic for now. "So since your orientation is not the main issue here, what is?"

Dean shifted nervously. "Uh, can we sit down?" he asked.

Cas nodded and led them both over to the transformer. When Dean continued to fidget rather than speak, he sighed. "Dean, if this is about why you weren't here last night, you have to understand what a small town this is." Dean's head shot up, panic rushing across his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone knows you got arrested, everyone knows that Ronnie is a dick, and the whole fucking state knows that Walker is the most bigoted, screw loose deputy that has ever been commissioned."

Dean frowned. "So what are you saying?"

Cas smiled gently and clarified, holding Dean's gaze. "The whole town understands your point of view, and we're all glad that you were willing to stand up for your brother and give that bully what he had coming to him."

Dean shook his head firmly. "No, Cas, I got mad and put a kid in the hospital! That isn't okay! That can't be right!"

Cas sighed. "You saw your family getting hurt and you broke the nose of the instigator. Ronnie's a crybaby. I know the real story. Believe me."

"How do you know?" Dean asked hollowly.

Cas looked at him curiously for a minute before deciding about whatever he saw. "Dean, my roommate is a paramedic and he happened to be responsible for fixing Ronnie up and transporting him."

Dean frowned. "And he's allowed to tell you about it?"

Cas laughed. "Gabe doesn't give a shit about the rules," he answered. "He does whatever he thinks is right and lets the pieces fall, and everyone here loves him for it. However, it was not technically a violation of anything because all he told me directly was that he had an awful day having to take care of a spoiled brat who was trying to convince his audience that he needed a medivac when all that was wrong with him was a broken nose."

Dean thought about it. "I mean, I don't know what that means for me, though," he admitted finally. "What does that say about me, you know? I put a kid in the hospital in a blind rage, but at least he was just a little brat?"

Cas sighed again and tentatively curved an arm around Dean's slumped shoulders. "This is probably way out of line, but I think you need to hear it," he said decisively.

"What?" Dean asked, barely reacting.

Cas took a deep breath and braced himself for incoming rage. "I'm sorry that your dad beat you when you came out, but protecting your brother does not mean that you're turning into him," he blurted out in a torrent of words.

Dean shivered and turned to Cas again, a dangerous look in his eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about," he said in a low voice.

Cas shrugged. "Maybe not, but it sounds true to me," he said.

Dean held his gaze defiantly for a few moments before slumping again in defeat. "Whatever." He slowly started to inch out of Cas's arm.

Cas held on tighter. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked in surprise

Dean shrugged. "You know how many issues I have now. Obviously nothing here is never going to work out because I'm kind of incredibly fucked up, if you somehow missed that memo."

Cas frowned. "Dean Winchester, don't tell me what to do with my love life! If I want to keep going, your past is not going to stop me!"

Dean sighed. "It isn't my past that haunts me anymore; it's the fact that I have no future."

Cas shook his head vehemently.

"Okay, look, this is totally strange for me," he said suddenly, "because I have never ever done this before in my life, but I can't get you out of my mind and I can't stand the idea of ever not having you around. Not gonna lie, I was a little worried that Walker would win just because he's on the side of the law, even though he isn't one of them, really. And I can't believe how completely right it feels to just be here next to you. Please, Dean, let me be part of your future?"

Dean faced Cas fully and tilted his head. "You and Sammy would be it. You'd be my future," he said evenly.

Cas smiled softly and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Dean's trembling lips. "Maybe I'm okay with that," he said against Dean's mouth.

Dean let himself relax into the kiss. "Okay," he agreed.

"Uncle Bobby?" Sam came down the steps hesitantly thirty minutes after Crowley had left.

"What's up, squirt?" Bobby asked, adopting one of the few nicknames that Dean was willing to share (not that Bobby even had any interest in calling his nephew "bitch").

"Well, it's just that Dean's been gone for a really long time, and I'm kind of worried about him. I know he needed to clear his head and everything, but what if he isn't okay? What if he," Sam trailed off.

Bobby sighed. "Come 'ere, Sam," he held out an arm and hugged Sam close to his side. "Listen, I just found out from Crowley that since Dean is allowed to stay here and Jody, uh, or, the Sheriff is giving Deputy Walker an ultimatum, the Walkers are moving out of town to be closer to their family. Apparently Gordon has had a job offer from some place that he's interested in, and this was just the shove to get him going."

Sam frowned. "So what does that mean?"

Bobby shrugged. "Would Dean ever get violent with anyone who wasn't hurting you?" he asked.

Sam shook his head rapidly.

"Well then, you don't have to worry about him ever getting locked up again. The only people who would ever want to hurt you, and god knows why even they would, are gone."

Sam breathed out a sigh of relief then frowned. "Uncle Bobby?"

"Yes, Sam?"

"Can I go find Dean anyway? His head should be clear enough now, don't you think?"

Bobby smiled and nodded. "Go on. Tell him we're going out for dinner and he needs to get his skinny behind home before we leave if he wants to eat anything that isn't leftovers tonight."

Sam giggled. "Okay!"

He ran out the screen door giddily and let it slam behind him without remorse.

Bobby walked over to inspect the nonexistent damage and shook his head. "Boys will be boys," he muttered. "Do they have to be so loud, though?"

Meanwhile, Sam was skipping down the sidewalk happily, Bobby having lifted every care from his shoulders.

The last thing he had expected when he saw Dean's jacket on the ground was to see his brother locked in a kiss with a guy he had never seen before, and apparently enjoying it.

"Uh, Dean?" Sam asked hesitantly. "Dinner?"

Dean's head snapped back. "Sammy?"

Sam doubled over laughing. "Okay, be honest," he demanded. "Did you respond to your name or to 'dinner'?"

Dean rolled his eyes and subtly put some distance between him and Cas, despite how completely useless it was at this point.

"Sammy, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm looking for you!" Sammy exclaimed, still giggling a little.

Cas couldn't help but smile back at the bundle of energy (if insufferable cock block) that was apparently Dean's little brother.

"You must be Sam?" he asked from his seat on the transformer. Sam nodded his head affirmatively. "I'm Cas. Nice to meet you."

Sam nodded again in lieu of an answer. "Are you Dean's boyfriend?" he asked.

Dean winced. "Sammy," he warned.

"What? You always told me not to kiss anyone unless I really liked them, and you obviously really like Cas or else you're a great big liar. I just want to know if he likes you too or if I need to beat him up to defend your honor!" Sam answered innocently.

Dean buried his face in his hands, but it did nothing to conceal his blush. "Sammy," he groaned.

Cas laughed softly beside him (until a well-placed elbow to the ribs shut that distraction up). "Don't worry, Sam. I do really like him, and I would like nothing more than to be his boyfriend, if that's alright with you?"

Sam thought it over and then nodded. "You seem decent. Don't change that and we won't have any problems."

Cas nodded solemnly. "Deal. Uh, Dean? How about your thoughts?"

Dean lifted his face from his hands and looked at Cas questioningly. Apparently he found his answer, because his face lit up. "I'd love to, Cas!"

Sam beamed and thoughtfully turned away to avoid losing his lunch before they went to dinner, considering the way both boys were now lip locked again.

"Are we going to tell Bobby over dinner? OH! We're already going out to dinner, we should bring Cas and celebrate!"

Dean winced again. "Um, can we not tell Bobby just yet, squirt?" He carefully avoided Cas's gaze for the duration of the question.

Sam nodded wisely. "Yeah. We can wait a little bit."

Dean turned back to Cas hesitantly. "I'm sorry, is that a deal breaker?"

Cas smiled understandingly. "So you aren't out to your uncle yet. I understand completely. Listen to me, okay? The only deal breaker in this relationship is if you don't want to be in it anymore."

Dean nodded in amazement. "Okay," he agreed.

Sam grinned. "Sweet! Finally! Dean has a boyfriend, whoop dee doo, can we please go eat now?"

Dean and Cas laughed and separated slowly. "Fine," Dean agreed, grabbing his jacket.

Cas nodded. "I'll see you later?"

Dean grinned. "Of course you will, you goober!"

Cas broke into a wide smile. "You will regret that," he promised.

Dean smirked. "I doubt it. Later, Cas," he replied quietly.

Cas nodded gently. "Later, beautiful."

Sam made fake puking noises in the background, which both boys ignored.

"Stop talking to yourself, Cas," Dean muttered.

Cas frowned then smirked back. "Whatever. I'll have you believing it soon."

Dean grinned. "You're on, dream boat."

"Good morning, beautiful," Cas whispered with a smile as Dean rolled over and grunted.

"Stop talking to yourself, Cas," Dean breathed, barely awake. Then he woke up with a start. "Wait, no, this is my room. No, no, you have to go, like now. Cas, you have to-"

He broke off desperately as the door swung open and a fourteen year old body was launched directly onto the bed and right on top of Cas.

"Deeeeeee!" Sam giggled, then sat back sharply. "Um, not Dee?"

Dean and Cas both laughed, and Sam socked Dean in the shoulder. "You just let me do that?"

Dean shrugged. "I tried to get him out of here," he offered.

"Is he going to stay for breakfast? Are you going to introduce him to Bobby as your boyfriend?" Sam teased.

Dean shuddered. "And get thrown out on my freaking birthday?"

Cas turned toward him quickly. "It's your birthday, babe?" he asked quietly. "I wish I'd known!"

Dean shrugged. "It's not a big deal. If Bobby hadn't said something last night, I wouldn't have remembered myself."

"And you weren't thinking about it when you asked me over?"

"Suffice it to say, I was a little distracted," Dean hissed back, flushing red.

"Samuel, tell your brother to get his freaking ass down here so we can eat some food," Bobby bellowed up the stairs, and Sam giggled.

"But, Bobby!" Dean called back. "It's my birthday!"

"Fine, starve! See if I care!" Bobby shot back.

"So he's in the dining room," Dean explained to Cas in a low voice. "You know the drill."

Cas nodded and between the two Winchesters, they managed to keep Bobby distracted long enough for Cas to slip out unnoticed.

"Pie for breakfast?" Dean asked excitedly as he finally focused on the table.

Bobby allowed a rare smile to cross his face. "Only for today, though, so it better be gone by tomorrow!" he warned.

"Oh, there will not be a problem with that!" Dean assured him heartily. In his mind, the only thing that could make this any more perfect would be if Cas was sitting across from him right now with a disapproving look on his face, motioning toward the fruit and inclining his head seriously as if he thought Dean would actually eat fruit over pie.

But, again, it was Cas, so Dean found himself eating a full serving of fruit between slices of pie, much to Bobby's confusion and Sam's infinite amusement.