I was serious about getting rid of the pain. I gulped down at least five beers before crashing on top of Dally. He was passed out cold, so he couldn't throw me off. As the sun stung my eyes the next day, I really hated myself for drinking all of those beers. I moaned as I got up slowly, putting on my shoes and jacket. I turned to make sure Dally was still asleep, and then went down stairs.
The place was trashed. But I knew it would be up and running by three. Buck was passed out on the couch with one brunette and one blonde draped on his soldiers. I kicked him roughly.
"Merrill! Get up!"
"What the…" Buck was pushing the girls away and rubbing his eyes. When he did look up at me, his eyes were blood-shot and angry. "What the hell did you wake me up for?"
"Tell Dally I'm at the DX station." I replied. One of the girls woke up, obviously confused.
"Why don't you do that yourself?" Buck leaned back again and closed his eyes.
"Buck, I mean it! I'll turn you into shit if you don't!" my threat didn't seem to affect him. He was hung over and in no state or mood to do anything except sleep. With a sigh I left the party house, Dal wasn't smart, but he wasn't stupid. He would figure it out eventually.
I don't know why I wanted to go to the DX station. I didn't know why I wanted to see Soda so much. Maybe it was to hear him complain good heartily about how Pony had kept him up all night reading. Or maybe it was to even see Ponyboy there, sipping a Pepsi while watching in awe as the boys fixed up a car.
"Soda?!" I yelled into the garage. "Steve?!" Loud foot steps came from out of the corner.
"Dusty? Thank god!" I thought for a second that he was going to hug me. He stopped himself just in time. The more I looked at him, the more I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. I also noticed the tear stains on his face.
"Sodapop, what's up?" I grabbed him firmly by the arm and gave him a little shake, to show I meant business. Soda drew a quivering breath.
"Have you seen Ponyboy? Or even Johnny? We can't find them anywhere…" Soda made a little sound, and I swear I was about to brake into sobs too. So it was true, Johnny killed the soc.
"No, sorry." I said, looking down. I thought that that would council my lie.
"Dusty, I thought you had disappeared right with them." Soda said this quietly. I felt even guiltier, lying to Soda. His quivering breaths got bigger, and tears were starting to come down his face.
"Hay…" I wrapped my arms around him in an awkward embrace. Soda was squeezing me like a rag dog, and I got a strange feeling of deja vo. Where have I felt this way before? Oh yeah, last night. "Umm… Soda?" He mumbled something, but his mouth was muffled by my wild hair. "I can't breathe."
"Oh." Soda pulled away. "Sorry." I wanted to shake my head and smile. It was funny how he and Ponyboy were so much alike. Pony. Sadness engulfed me again, and my head dropped. "I guess there is some hope, right?" Soda was wiping away his tears and smiling.
"Yeah, hope." Soda turned to back to the cash stand, so I left the garage. Or tried to. Steve had me in a death grip before I could step foot outside.
"Where are they?" He hissed.
"What?"
"Where are they, you little piece of shit?" I would of slugged him if he wasn't giving me a dead arm. Steve knew it too, because as soon as he said it he gripped me harder.
"I don't know nothin'. Even if I did, why would I tell you?" I intensed my glare and Steve had fear creeping into his eyes.
"What?' I demanded.
Nothing. It's just sometimes you look so much like Dally." Steve dropped my arm with a thud. "Now get!" He turned on his heel and disappeared into the hood of a car.
Walking along the street, I thought about what Soda had said that there was hope. That there was hope for what? That their was hope that Johnny would be let off easy? That the boys were safe? Hell, even if the boys were alive?! The thought shivered me. A darker thought got into my mind. Steve was scared earlier. When I asked why, he said I looked like Dally.
Could the t I was a Winston shake every greaser? Now that I thought about it, Curly hadn't done his worst to me. Was it because he feared my brother? No. I told myself. It wasn't Dally that intimidated my enemies, it was the way I looked at him. I recalled how his ice eyes cut like glass. Could my eyes do the same? Why not? We both had the same eyes.
I realized my power that day. I tried to keep my eyes soft and Dusty for the rest of my life. However, they would become had and Dallas to everybody who saw them, all because of that one night.
