"That, my friends, was bloody brilliant," I commend as I clamber over the bench. Snatching a turkey leg from the nearby platter, I flop into my spot besides Remus. "Exceptionally played!" I finish through a mouthful of meat, slapping Moony on the shoulder in congratulations.

"What with my superior acting expertise," Lupin pretends to polish his fingernails on his tattered jumper, "it was quite easy, was it not?"

"'Superior acting skills' my ass!" James playfully thwacks the backside of Remus's head. "I believe I should be the one getting all the credit, here!"

"Hey!" Wormtail leans in. Gesturing towards himself, he clarifies, "But you all know that I did most of the work, right?"

"Boys, boys," I urge calmly. With the expertise air of one who knows what he's doing, I take control. "We all worked together for a common goal: procrastination. Some may have worked harder than others, like me-"

"OI!" three voices clamber over each other in protest, each shouting to be heard above the others. Laughing, I sit back, preferring to watch them duke it out instead of interfering, or worse, taking sides.

"What are we arguing about now?" Hestia slides into the seat next to me, snagging an apple as she does so. My mates ignore her, having better things to 'discuss' at the moment, leaving me to explain.

Grinning cheekily at Hestia, I respond, "Well, James has just professed his undying love for Wormtail, but Remus is now jealous because he claims to fancy Pettigrew as well. Peter's fighting the both of them because he fancies me and is having trouble warding off their advances."

"OI!"

"What did you say, Padfoot?"

"You bloody bastard, take it back!"

I am instantly engulfed in a mass swarm of flailing limbs, all of which have the intent of pummeling me to a pulp. I loose a string of laughter as I push and elbow with all of my strength, reveling in the physical exercise.

"Erm… Hestia, what are they doing?"

"Evans!" James blurts in surprise and instantly ceases the incessant bruising of my shoulder. Taking advantage of his weakness, as any best friend should, I shove Prongs's back as hard as I can muster, and he tumbles off the bench into a battered heap on the floor. The entire section around us erupts in laughter and James flushes with either embarrassment or anger. Or both. "You BLOODY SON OF A-"

"POTTER!" Lily shouts over him in warning. James halts midsentence and blinks, astonished, at the redhead before him. A slow smirk begins to curl his lips, and a mischievous twinkle sparks behind his brown eyes.

Watching Evans carefully, James's grin tilts antagonistically as he calmly restates his prior sentence, punctuating every word: "You. Bloody. Son. Of. A. BITCH." Lips folding and creasing, he cocks his eyebrow at Lily defiantly, daring her to retaliate. There is a pregnant pause that seems to last an eternity before…

"You pig," she snaps angrily before swinging her leg over the bench, sinking into the place across from mine. Lily decides to completely ignore Potter, and pointedly glares at the direction opposite his position at the table. "What were you blokes fighting about, anyway?" she questions curiously, choosing a breadstick from the platter after much deliberation.

"Absolutely nothing," James is quick to assure her, shooting me a death glare all the while. Grinning angelically in response, I merely continue plowing through my plate of mashed potatoes.

"Sirius?" she insists pointedly, acting as though she hadn't heard James, whose cheeks swell with indignation. I look up from my food, cheeks stuffed with garlic potato goodness, to meet her desperate gaze.

Swallowing heartily, I assure her, "Nothing of great consequence," before shoveling another forkful of suppertime vitals into my mouth. She raises her eyebrow quizzically, debating on whether or not to ask once again. Her lips twist in deep thought, but, before she can make her decision, a dangerous voice lilts through the air. At the sound, James, Remus, and Peter unconsciously straighten their backs and Lily and Hestia scowl angrily, their eyebrows knitting above flashing eyes.

"Afternoon all," Emmeline oozes cordially, casually draping her arms around Hestia and myself. Hestia glares pointedly at the manicured hand dangling beside her head, but Emmeline ignores her just as pointedly.

Emmeline Vance is by no means a bad person, but she's very single-minded. Emmeline wants what Emmeline wants, and nothing will ever change that. Nothing. She comes from very wealthy ancestry, her parents are familiar with James's, but they spoil her rotten. If she wants a cat she'll have one within a day. If she wants three cats she'll have them by the end of the week, tops. She goes through life expecting everything to be given to her on a platter, and when things don't come through in the way that she wants, she is a sight to behold and a menace to avoid.

"Hello Vance." Evans grits her teeth but manages to smile all the same. "And what brings you down to this end of the Gryffindor table?"

"Oh, I just wanted to greet you all!" she responds happily, grinning at each of us in turn. Remus merely inclines his head in greeting as her eyes connect with his, but both James and Peter noticeably react to each exchange, Peter by flushing a red so violent his cheeks look like enormous tomatoes, and James by flashing her a cocky smirk and a devilish wink. Neither Hestia nor Lily show any signs of polite recognition even when Emmeline's lips twist in anger at their indifference. "And Sirus!" she squeaks, delicately placing both her hands on my shoulders. "How are you, darling?"

'Darling'? Emmeline Vance represents the kind of girl that I loathe so much, and they seem to abound in this school. She believes herself to be an irresistible prize, and she wants to use that against everyone who is, no doubt, helpless against her unbelievable charm and grace. I instinctively roll my eyes at her folly before I can even digest the conscious decision to do so. I am, therefore, greatly surprised to see Lily Evans sadly nod her head in agreement from her seat across the table.

Moreover, she mouths, '"Darling"? Honestly?' and rolls her eyes in return. I chuckle quietly before grimacing in mock-disgust.

'You'd think she'd be a bit more subtle, yeah?' I whisper, earning myself a silent laugh on her part.

"Sirius?" Emmeline taps me on the shoulder, and I quickly whip my head back to look at her in surprise.

"Oh, erm, I'm doing well, Vance. Thanks for asking," I hastily respond, blinking a contented smile before turning back to my… empty plate? My eyes scan the tabletop before they land on Peter's bulging cheeks. "Wormtail!" I roar, reaching around Remus to roughly shove Pettigrew's arm.

"Oi!" he argues, holding his palms aloft in defeat. "Moony was the one who pinched your food, I just took a bite!" At the accusation Remus bursts out in guilty laughter, his teeth still showing the effects of consuming stolen mashed potatoes too quickly.

"MOONY!" I snatch his plate angrily in retaliation, only to find that the solitary scrap of food on it is cauliflower. "Eurgh," I complain, tossing the porcelain platter back in front of Lupin in disgust. "Couldn't you at least have chosen something good? There's no point in stealing it if it's healthy."