Author's Note: Uh, let me think of an excuse for the slow update first... yeah...

[LOADS OF BULLSHIT INCOMING]

I was kidnapped by aliens and was brought to their home planet. After being experimented on for 2 years, I managed to escape the research facility with the help of countless future versions of myself and a nameless zombie. With pursuers behind my back, I barely reached the alien's main control room when I was halted by a girl clad in gothic clothes and ended up fighting with the self-proclaimed OverLord of the universe. She controlled the corpse of my waifu-turned-into-terminator and I was forced to destroy her with the power I gained by many experiments done to my body. As I cried at the remains of my waifu, the gothic loli stabbed me from behind with a photon sword.

Coughing blood from my mouth, I futilely reached my hand forward, trying to press the button that could change everything. That could change the uncountable timelines once and for all. The OverLord keeps on stabbing me in a sadistic state, yet I could do none but scream in pain... no, I can't even let my voice out anymore. At the border of life and death, the soul of my waifu appeared right in front of me. She told me not to give up, that there is still hope. I asked her how she can be so cruel, how she left me alone in the world, came back as a robotized corpse that I had to kill, then prevented me from finally taking my final rest. She cried at me, screaming that she never want to die and leave me either. My waifu then hugged me and whispered that I have to move on, to keep on living, because only I can save the world. Before she disappeared, she told me one last thing. That she will be waiting for me, no matter how long it takes. So I should live, live till I can meet her again someday. What a load of bullshit, I muttered to myself.

With my hazy mind, I somehow reached for my pocket and took out a pendant. A soul gem containing the souls of me from thousands, no, millions of timelines. I cracked it and absorbed all of the life force contained within, practically healing and giving monstrous vitality to myself. With my body turned huge and grotesque. I swung around facing the OverLord, ignoring the pain of her photon sword slicing through my body. I put my ugly hands around her neck and began to choke her. She kept on stabbing me in an attempt to release herself free from my grasps, but I endured. I actually lost consciousness from the pain, but my hand did not bulge an inch. By the time I regained my mind, she was already dead. As I raised myself from the ground, my head was assaulted by the information from millions of my own souls I had absorbed. Painful. It's too painful. Staggering forward, I somehow reached the main console. Before my brain collapsed from the information overload, I punched the button and activated the research facility's fruit of research, the machine that will change everything; The Wishmaker. I roared with the loudest voice I could muster.

"RESET!"

...And when I woke up, I found myself typing on my laptop and realized that I had spend 30 minutes writing this dumb short story. Damn.

[END OF BULLSHIT]

Anyway, if you managed to endure reading this far (you know you don't), I can't promise when the next chapter will be posted (if it does get posted) so yeah. Wouldn't it be great if someone would just pick this story up and write it for me...

I'll answer your reviews at the end of the chapter since this segment is already bloated as it is.

Last but not least, enjoy the chapter~.


Disclaimer: I really don't own KonoSuba. Honest.


The entire Satou family plus Megumin are currently sitting on the living room sofas. This situation might be too sudden and confusing to understand, so I'll backtrack a bit for your (whoever you are) convenience.

As you all already know, I was choked by Megumin and almost died, but was saved by my little brother's CPR. We took some time to cool down our head and finally managed to hold a calm conversation for once. After 30 minutes of feeding my little brother with some believable lies, we managed to convince him that Megumin is one of my net-friend from 4chan and that she's staying over for a while. My story is flawed and full of holes, so I promised to explain more details to him when Otou-san and Okaa-san return back home from their work.

Which leads to the current situation. Two sofas facing each other, separated only by a tiny table in between. On one side, sat me, Megumin and also my lil' bro. And on the other side, looking at us like a pair of bishamonten statues, are my parents.

Their cold stares are sent toward my way and are urging me to explain why there's an extra head in the house.

"...This is KuriGohan, I mean, Megumin-san. She is a net-friend of mine who I met on a forum, that is, a place where you can discuss things with other people on the internet. We first talked on a random thread while discussing some anime. At that time, I know her not as Megumin-san, but 'KuriGohan' which is the name she used on the forum. We talked a lot got along really well, and even meet in real life a few time. My impression of her isn't bad, she doesn't seem to be a bad person even in real life. So when she created a thread about how her apartment was burned to the ground, I decided to offer her a temporary place to live in since we do have a vacant room. Of course, I know the risk of her actually being a dangerous person and all, but the incident are in fact real and from the way she responded to my posts she seems to be genuinely shaken and so I did what I did. I went to Akiba and picked her up..."

My parents still eyed me skeptically until I handed the mic over to Megumin and let her convince them herself.

"Kazuma-san has been calling me by my net-name which is okay for me, but I'll be more comfortable if you could call me by my real name. Ah, my bad, he might have said my actual name a few times but I myself haven't really said it, have I? I'll begin my introduction then, if you don't mind. My first name is Megumi, but everyone around me insist on calling me Megumin. Um, I don't have any last name. To be honest, I was an abandoned child. I spend most of my childhood at the orphanage until it was unfortunately closed because lack of funds. After that, well, I somehow managed to get by somehow by doing odd jobs. I couldn't go to school, since I need to work to eat and pay the apartment rent. I was in a really big mess when the apartment exploded, but thank God Kazuma-san contacted me and offered a place to stay... if not for him, I would've committed... no, let's not go there. Sorry for spoiling the mood with that old sad story. So, that's all I could say about myself. Anyway, I am extremely grateful. Also, about the price of renting a room-," before she could continue with her sentence, my mother quickly raised herself from her sitting position and tightly embraced Megumin's petite frame with tears and snot sliding down her face.

"H-Hic... to think that you carried such burden within your tiny body, I couldn't even imagine how hard it must've been. I mean, you're so thin! Too thin for other teenagers your age... forget about rent money! You can stay here as long as you like, Megumin-chan! We might not look like it, but we are actually quite wealthy, so we'll cover the expenses for your education. That's right, you don't have to worry about food and housing from now on...!"

What.

They believe the whole bullshit? And Megumin was accepted as a freeloader into the house, just like that? What's up with this strangely convenient resolution?! It's unnatural and completely unbelievable! Are we following some kind of script from a RomCom?! 'Despite being a complete stranger and penniless to boot, we accepted [put heroine name here] with open hands and we began living together under one roof. And thus, begin my pink-cherry-colored slice-of-life comedy light novel series,' is that it?! We are actually characters inside a light novel and all of our actions are being controlled by the writer, even the things I'm thinking right now?!

That, or maybe my parents are just that gullible. I mean, who am I kidding? The idea of us being in a light novel is ridiculous and plain stupid. I'm alive, breathing, talking, have a mind of my own and are not being controlld by anyone right? I'm curious though, where did Megumin learn to act like that? Did she ask Aqua to teach her some tricks on how to decieve someone? No one noticed my internal ramblings and they continued with whatever they're doing before. Also, Megumin is acting all humble and trying to refuse Mother's offer to let her go to school.

"T-To pay for my tuition, that's a bit too much-," Okaa-san shook her head strongly at Megumin's words.

"Nonsense! We are putting the money originally intended for Kazuma's education to good use. He's never going to go to college after all." You're dismissing my future, just like that?! Don't I have a say in this?!

And therefore, the Satou household gained another occupant.


Three days have passed since then, and Megumin has integrated herself well into the family. I was confused by how Megumin could speak fluent Japanese despite coming from another world but then I remembered that 'brain overload' thing the Gods did at me while I was first transported to Axel. You know about it, didn't you? Aqua explained it in the first episode. Hmm, you forgot? How about a flashback then?

...

I died, went to the afterlife and then was offered a chance to be reincarnated. Bewildered by the absurdity of this situation, I decided to ask the self-proclaimed Goddess some questions.

"Um, I want to ask something. Will I be able to speak this world's language?"

The blue-haired young lady opened her eyes wide in surprise as if conveying, 'this loser who died because of shock has enough brain capacity to think of that?'

But her shock didn't last long, as the Goddess (self-proclaimed) raised her left hand and showcased me some kind of guide book and let me read it while explaining the content herself.

"That won't be an issue. With the kind support of us Gods, we'll overload your brain so you'll be able to learn it instantly."

As I was listening to her melodious voice, I happened to catch a glimpse of a certain warning about how overloading one's brain could make the said person go 'poof' and how Heaven would not be held responsible if such thing happened. The young girl quickly placed her hand on top of the spot in order to futilely cover that exact warning.

"As a side effect, you might just go 'poof' if you're unlucky, though. So, all that leaves you to do is to choose a powerful ability or piece of equipment."

Silently, I raised my head and glared at her with my eyes squinted closely. "I just heard you mention something really serious. What do you mean, 'poof'?"

"I never said that." Said she with an innocent smile.

"Yes you did."

She decided to ignore me.

...

That scene, do you remember it now? Still no? Oh well. You have to rewatch episode 1 I guess. Anyway, Megumin could read and speak Japanese just fine, which is convenient, for the lack of better terms. This morning, Okaa-san took her to a local middle school to have her take a transfer test.

In fact, they should be back by now.

"We're back~," speak of the devil!

"Welcome back."

Staring at me who just said those word nonchalantly from the sofa of the living room, Okaa-san asked me coldly.

"Who are you?"

"W-Who?! I'm your son! Ka-zu-ma-kyun, da yo!"

I stressed the last part to make sure that it gets across.

"Stop lying. My son never leave his room unless he had to buy limited edition eroges or eat. I'll ask this once again. Who are you?! And what did you do to Kazuma?!"

"I told you that I am Kazuma! Is it that strange for me to be out of my room like this?!"

Megumin, who's standing behind my mother suddenly chimed in.

"It is."

My mother agrees.

"Yes it is. He's a hikikomori after all."

"...Why do I even bother. So, Megumin. Did you pass the test?"

The said girl crossed her hands somewhere below her chest area as if to emphasize her non-existent breasts and spoke in a haughty tone.

"Fear my power, heathen! Look at these white papers and praise me to high Heavens!"

She handed me two test papers, which I took, and looked at the number on top.

100. She got 100 on both of them.

"You cheated the test! I'm sure of it!"

Megumin looks slightly offended by this.

"Cheat?! I did no such thing! Don't you know that I'm the #1 genius mage of the hidden Crimson Mazoku village?!"

"How am I supposed to know?! You never told me!"

"I would've told you by now if this fanfic author didn't cut the original story short at the Winter Shogun scene!"

"Don't break the fourth wall! And don't spoiler the reader who haven't read the original light novel!"

"On a certain volume of the original light novel, we went to the hidden village of chuuni mages to fight the Demon King's army and the two of us ended up staying at my house in the same room where you attempted to assault me-...!"

"No, don't say any more! Please!"

"Trashzuma froze the window with magic, then offered to snuggle up with me... we need to keep us both warm, he said smoothly!"

"STAAAAAPH!"

...

...

...We apologize for the spoilers. We will redo the scene once again.

"So your result is genuine? You're really a tensai mahou shoujo?" (TL: Genius magical girl.)

"I'm a wizard, not a magical girl! I don't transform... yet."

"...Suuure. So you're a middle schooler now, huh. Megumin sure grows fast~," I patted her head like a kid, and she scoffed at me irritatedly.

"Middle school? Hah! On your knees, peasant. For this great Megumin are enrolling to the high school you're supposed to be enrolled to."

This took me some time to process. Eyeing Megumin like she had lost her mind, I gave her a pitying look.

"Don't look at me like that! It's true! After taking the entrance test at that middle school and getting a perfect score, the teacher in charge of supervising the test decided to have me take a high school level test... which I also got perfect score of. This and that happened, and I ended up skipping grades and become a high school student."

This is far too unrealistic! What do you mean by 'this and that happened'?! Explain it properly!

Is this the handiwork of Heaven?! Megumin being easily accepted to the household and entering a high school, could it all be planned?!

This is plot convenience! The Heaven is twisting the world to somehow make me end up leaving my hikikomori life behind, go to school, and finally get into a lovey-dovey relationship with Megumin. Well, guess what? I refuse! I won't abide by your wish, I won't stop being a hikikomori and as proof, I'll prove it to you by rebelling and locking myself in my room right now!

And so I did.


When I opened my eyes, the clock's needles both pointed at 3, and orange tinted light are streaming from the window. I yawned and scratched my bed hair, took a moment to keep the sleepiness away. Raising myself from the bed, I commanded my feet to walk towards the bathroom.

After taking care of my 'business', I went downstairs to find Megumin watching TV on the sofa. Little brother is probably hanging out with his friends like the normalfag he is, and my parents will most likely come back late like usual.

But that's to be expected. They're all normalfags unlike a hikikomori like me after all~.

…Go die in a train wreck. Suppressing my strong desire to shout from the top of my lungs that all normalfags should blow up to pieces, I sat on the vacant seat next to Megumin and silently watched some random show currently airing. Tick tock, the room is so quiet I could even hear the ticking of the time-tracking device we called clock.

"Is it interesting?" I tried to start a conversation with Megumin.

"What is?" She shot back instantly. Maybe she's as bored as me.

"The variety show."

I pointed at the TV in front of us. You could see the scene of two moe idols doing some questionable things to each other on the screen.

Her head turned towards my direction and she looked at me strangely.

"Aren't you watching it too?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Not really."

Perhaps she found it funny, Megumin grinned at my response.

"Me neither."

We spent 10 minutes or so before I let out another question.

"Megumin, wanna see some special magic?" She raised her eyebrow curiously at my question.

"Special magic? Like the television?"

"Television isn't magic, but yeah. Something like that."

"Is that so? Well, I'm bored so show me anyway."

"Sure."

Her brown hair swaying, she followed me as I went to the nearby cabinet and rummaged for a certain something there. My hand grasped that thing and I handed a pack of firecrackers to Megumin.

"This is…?" At her doubtful expression, I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"It's a magic bomb containing miniature explosion magic." Megumin glanced at the pack with obvious distaste and protested at me while flailing her hands around.

"What is this blasphemy?! You can't express the beauty and might of explosion with this pathetic thing! Don't insult explosion magic!" She took one piece out of the pack, held it like it was something disgusting and finally threw it onto the floor.

It exploded near her legs, making her jump at me with a high pitched shriek.

"What are you thinking, idiot?! What if you start a fire and burn the house down?!"

"S-Shut up! How am I supposed to know that it would blow up if I throw it to the floor?! But… not bad. It clearly falls short compared to real explosion magic, but I could rate 6 out of 10 for that 'bang'."

"Yes, of course." I rolled my eyes. Despite how she is acting, Megumin's crimson eyes are obviously glittering right now.

"H-Hey, Kazuma, can I take another one?" She asked while glancing between me and the firecrackers.

"Suit yourself. Just don't do it inside."

"I know that already!" Following Megumin who went outside, we spent the rest of the day playing firecrackers outside like little kids.


A few days later.

"Kazuma, how do I look?" Rotating her body on the spot, she showed off her new sailor uniform to me. She looks delighted with it, and seems to be asking for a compliment or two.

"You look cute," I praised her with a smile.

"R-Really?" With her cheeks dyed red, she asked me with upturned eyes.

"Yes, you look like a real grade school student."

"…!"

Normally, I wouldn't be as bold as this with my joke knowing how conscious Megumin is with her height, but today is different. That's right.

I've just went through the night raiding dungeons and blowing fortresses up without rest. I slashed through thousands of bodies, and even defeated a dragon. People are looking at me with envy, they all cried in frustration at how weak their equipment are compared to mine and many challenged me into a duel. They all lose. Over their corpses, I raised my silver sword upwards and shouted to the sky: "Give me more EXP!"

Yes, you guessed it. I spend an all-nighter playing my favorite MMORPG and am extremely sleepy right now. My eyes are bloodshot and I felt so tired I might fall over right this instant. I can't think clearly at all.

"Just what are you implying by that statement? Are you saying that I am radiating so much innocence wearing this sailor uniform I looked as cute as a grade school student?" My mouth opened at her silly interpretation and a loud laughter came out of it. Without putting any thought at it, I spoke the first thing that came to mind.

"No, you're just that short."

A moment later, my head was flung back by a strong impact and I found myself sprawled on the floor. With a huff, Megumin glared at me with disdain and left the room.

Well, that wasn't so bad. At least she wasn't choking me to death(lol).

…God, please don't remind me of that time. It's awkward just looking at my brother's face after that incident. And I don't know why, but the last time our gaze met, he started blushing. Could it be that I've triggered some flag into the yaoi route?!

Anyway, my head hurts from that punch just now. Despite how she looks, Megumin's level are higher than mine and our stats are carried on from the fantasy world. Simply put, it hurts like hell.


At a certain public high school, rumors have been going around about a new transfer student that has suddenly transferred. While it's true that a few students would often transfer due to their parents' work or some other circumstances, the time of this one student choose to transfer is somewhat odd. Right after midterm tests of the second semester. Left with such a small time left before the final tests (and graduation for the third-year seniors) wouldn't it be better for this person to stay in their original school for a few months and transfer after the final tests are over? Thought some of the students gossiping in the classroom. But then again, it wasn't really their problem and without any genuine information to back it up, all they could do are speculate.

"Maybe this person has committed a criminal act and are forced to transfer school!" Said 'Student A' in wild excitement.

"Eeh~? That sounds stupid." Answered the bespectacled 'Student B'. Hearing that his opinion is being looked down upon, the immature 'Student A' shouted at 'Student B'.

"Stupid?! You're stupid! What other reason could there be for a student to transfer this late into the semester?!" The calm and collected 'Student B' shrugged his shoulders while muttering 'yare yare', and answered with a flat tone.

"You're thinking about this too much. This person is probably just transferring because of their parents' work. And don't call me stupid. My grades are definitely better than yours."

"But that's boring! And don't bring my grades into this! Grades are just numbers, it's not like they reflect on a person's talents and reliability." 'Student B' ignored the impulse of saying that this transfer student didn't transfer for the purpose of entertaining him out of his boredom and sighed tiredly at the latter part of the sentence uttered by 'Student A'.

"Then could you please list all those 'talents' of yours that aren't listed on your test papers?"

"…" 'Student A' thought deeply for a few seconds, and ended up not saying anything. Seeing that, 'Student B' changed his focus to the window next to his left. At least he's nice enough to not call 'Student B' an idiot.

"Idiot." Ah, he slipped.

"What did you just call me?!"

Things are rowdy as always in this certain public high school, where students mingle and spend their everyday life in leisure.

The merry chattering and chats suddenly stopped when the front door opened. All student hastily returned to their respective seats as the homeroom teacher entered slowly with his back straight as a ramrod.

Scanning his dead-fish eyes around the room, he nodded and announced in a monotone.

"Many of you should've heard of this already, but today we are going to receive another student into this class. Please treat her kindly, you all hear?" He flashed a small smile on the outside but despite that, his inside is completely different. He began complaining without changing the expression of his face.

…Man, why must she transfer into my class? I hate responsibilities, so why can't she enter another? It's enough pain managing these hopeless guys with no future, and now I have to take care of another? 'Tokumei-sensei, your class have less students compared to the other classes so I'll leave this one in your care,' damn that bald principal, not even asking for my opinion first as he shoved more responsibility to me. Why don't you stand in my shoes for once and move your fat ass away from that cozy chair of yours?!

But Tokumei-sensei is a professional. He could easily separate his thoughts and actions, so his small smile held and no one could guess his real thought. He stiffly turned to the door, and motioned his hand up and down as he called the name of the transfer student.

"Megumi…n-san, please come inside." He paused for a moment there while saying the transfer student's name. Megumin? Is that 'n' some kind of typo or is this girl name really that weird? After thinking for a brief moment, he came upon the conclusion that it was none of his business and to just get this over with so he can take a break early and idle around in the staff room.

The students all looked at the direction of the front door with huge expectations, and a figure could be seen passing through the entrance. One small step, two steps. Step. Steps. Steps again. And the figure finally stopped next to Tokumei-sensei. The students ignored the figure and continued to stare at the front door with huge expectations. After a minute or two, Tokumei-sensei let out a cough and all of the eyes in the room focused on him. Then at the figure standing next to him.

Crossing her hands over her face in an overdramatic pose, the girl let her presence be known and her voice traveled to every ears capable of hearing in the small room.

"'Tis I, Megumin. Master of explosion magic, the conqueror of both Heaven and Hell. I've reincarnated 665 times counting from the day I was first born and the current me is the 666th in line of reincarnated. My mind was protected by the strongest magic barrier that even the great I cannot break, my limbs are enforced by adamantium and a chaos dragon core is tightly embedded on my chest. With 12 destiny dragons of doom sealed within my left eye and 7 fallen angel wings hidden below my back, I guarded the world from the excessive force of light and brings darkness to those who desire it. Be awed by the power of my severe majestic-ness!"

The girl threw some firecrackers around her, creating a lot of 'bang's and smoke which caused her to enter a coughing fit… when she stopped coughing, the girl spread her arms wide with force unbefitting of her small figure, accidentally pushing Tokumei-sensei who ended up getting 'close and friendly' with the hard floor. The students in charge of today cleaning duty seem to be slacking off this morning, so the floor is littered with dirt and dust. Not that it matters.

…Anyway, the person seated in the middle seat of the front-most row, namely 'Student C' raised his hand in order to break the silence that has encased the room.

"Sensei? Where's the transfer student? And is that your daughter? I don't know that sensei is married but she sure is a nutcase… I mean cute girl."

Many nodded at the opinion of 'Student C', and 'Student D' spoke up in a high pitched voice suited to her (nonexistent) character.

"What grade is her, sensei? 6th?"

From her back, 'Student E' retorted with a snort.

"6th? Are you blind? She's probably in the 3rd grade."

'Student D' turned her head at him and smiled sweetly before her hand was thrusted forward like lightning and hit him right in the solar plexus.

A few eyes focused on the fool 'Student E' but moved away soon enough. It's not really that interesting, so they turned their attention to Tokumei-sensei who have raised himself. He smiled like nothing ever happened and explained to the students.

"This is Megumin-san. The new transfer student. Her. Yes, her." He said while pointing at the short girl that's emptily muttering something about 3rd grade student and breast pads.

"Eeh~," the students voiced in sync.

"Ahem. Well, that wasn't the best first impression to speak of but don't worry, every student of Class F would be extremely pleasedto help you get comfortable in this new school environment so if you're having a trouble or two, please speak your mind to the class representative. Now then, I will be going back to the Staff room so feel free to speak with everyone. By the way, you can sit in that empty seat in the corner. It meant for Kazuma-kun to sit on but he's always absent so feel free to make it your own." With that said, Tokumei-sensei escaped with wide strides toward the staff room.

The students quickly created a crowd centered around Megumin as they began asking question about her.

"Megumin-san, was it? I'm the class representative. May I ask your family name?"

"I don't have one."

"R-Really? That's… interesting."

"Ne, ne, how old are you?"

"I'm turning 14 next week," said her proudly. A few awed 'wow~' could be heard around her.

"That means that Megumin-san is 13 years old, right? Did you skip grades or something?"

"I guess that's how it is."

A few curious glances are sent toward her but she decided to shrug it off.

"People called me a genius since I'm a little child, so yeah."

"Huh. Is that so. Megumin-san, why did you choose to transfer this late into the semester? This might be a bit personal, but is there some kind of circumstances regarding your transfer?" Someone finally managed to gather enough courage to ask that.

"…I was killed in action when fighting a shogun and was sent to Japan from a fantasy world."

Strange stares are directed at her direction. Then it all turned into laughs.

"Ara, Megumin-san, are you still half-asleep?"

"Ahaha! What's up with that? Megumin-san sure knows how to joke around."

"Yeah, I'm bored of the usual 'my parents' work forced me to transfer' answer so this is a fresh experience."

"I'm telling the truth though," muttered Megumin.

"Sure, sure."

And so is Megumin's first day at her new school.


I confirmed my surroundings. Turning my head to the left, then to the right. Clear, I thought to myself. That's when I pondered why I'm being so sneaky and cautious. It's not like what I planned on doing is illegal or anything. But still, wouldn't it be weird explaining it if I met someone I know? Or so I reasoned myself. There's basically zero chance of me meeting anyone I know this far from home, but still. I couldn't help but feeling nervous so I briskly walked toward a certain store in the backstreet of Akiba.

That noon, I woke up to find the house empty. Thinking that it was the perfect time to go out, I grabbed all money from my miniscule allowance and took a train to Akihabara, or Akiba as most people called it. You know, the place that game called AKIBA'S TRIP took place on. The fantastic city with the highest population of otakus.

For what reason exactly, you must be wondering. The answer is… I want to buy a brand new eroge that just came out. They're selling a limited edition of it so I went all the way to Akiba to get one. Come to think of it, the first time I died, I also just come back from here after getting a new game. But that won't happen again. I'm not stupid enough to die again from the same cause. So whatever happened, be it a girl about to get hit by a tractor or whatever, I won't bulge. I won't act out-of-character and try to save her.

While I was busy thinking, my feet brought me into the entrance of the store, where I could see quite a long line of otakus getting their copy of 'NEKOPARA Vol. 1 Limited Edition'. Wordlessly entering the end of the line, I patiently waited for my turn.

30 minutes later, I exited the store proudly holding the plastic bag containing 'NEKOPARA Vol. 1 Limited Edition' and some extra goods inside. I started walking toward the train station in a snail pace. Nothing much happened on the way... is what I was about to say when I saw a long haired high school student reminiscent to the one I've seen before, about to fall off a bridge. Something clicked inside my head and I stopped myself as I was about to run towards her.

No! This is a trap, just like that time. She's probably going to stabilize herself, yes.

But she didn't. Her body gradually leans more and more towards the edge as if in slow motion and I find myself in a panic. Should I try to save her or should I just leave her alone? Nothing good is coming out of this, the past me cautioned. But still, how am I supposed to do nothing when someone is about to fall down a bridge in front of me? That'd be cruel and my heart wouldn't be able to take it. Imagine if she actually fall down and died, how much guilt would that create for me?!

Shit. I'm going to regret this!

"Be careful!" I ran to her side and tried to pull her back, but ended up slipping on the road and falling down myself.

So this is how people feel when they are bungee jumping! I could almost call this fun, if only I had a rope to keep me from hitting the earth and die.

As the ground covered in mud zoomed in on me, I raised a shrill scream and passed out.


In a land Kazuma is overly familiar with, yet very far from his reach, two figure covered in fur cloaks could be seen walking through a dense forest. Emerald leaves rustled and the wind blows gently as they continue pressing on forward.

"Aqua." One of the cloaked figure, the one on the back, spoke up.

"What is it Darkness? Is your bladder full again?" Asked the second figure, the one with light blue hair.

"T-That's not it! Well, actually, I'm starting to have the urge b-but that's not it!"

"Really now. Darkness is so shy; she can't be honest with herself."

"I told you that's not it! Stop teasing me! I-It feels too good…" Despite her reddened face, Darkness straightened her back and put on a firm expression.

"…Are you serious about what you're saying before? Is there really a place with water that can restore a body into their youthful state?"

Aqua briefly glanced at Darkness' face and turned her gaze ahead in an overly dramatic and clichéd manner.

"I don't know."

A line unbefitting of the atmosphere came about. Short moments of peace and tranquil ensued… until it was broken by Darkness' protest.

"What do you mean you don't know?!"

"By 'don't know' I mean I don't know! I just heard some rumors on the taverns the last time I drown myself in alcohol to dull the pain of Kazuma's and Megumin's death, and they're saying about how an adventurer party of old men went on a journey to the south and returned as young men."

"And you believe that?! Isn't that just the words of some drunkard who mistook another party of adventurer for that one that have gone on a journey?!"

"As I said, I don't know! I never asked him directly!"

"Why did you decide not to?!"

"Does it matter if I had asked him or not?!"

"It does, you moron! Aren't we just chasing after wild goose?!"

"Tell me then! Would you prefer chasing after baseless rumors or wallow in grief without doing anything?!"

Darkess showed a shocked expression at Aqua's words.

"Darkness could do just that! Go back to Axel! I will continue the journey on my own, and restore both Megumin and Kazuma's body that has turned into ashes and revive them both!" Exclaimed her as she pointed at the two urn located below her cloak.

"…I'm sorry. Aqua is right, this is better than doing nothing at all. There's no way I can go back after you've said that much."

Aqua nodded her head as a sign of accepting her apology. Un, we can't give up, she thought. If they give up on trying to revive Kazuma and Megumin, then they would never be able to defeat the Demon King. In that case, she would never be able to return to Heaven.

…In the end, all Aqua thought of is herself.

"By the way, feeling the urge yet?"

"S-Shut it."

She grinned mischievously after hearing Darkness' response and proceed to tickle the area around her belly.

"No! S-Stop tickling me! This is bad… not there…!"

"Hahaha! Take this… and this!" Darkness let out some questionable moans out of her mouth, and tried her best to free herself from Aqua's relentless assault to no avail.

"Staph…! I-I cahn't holdt ith anymhore…!"

…If you're really that curious, Darkness ended up shamelessly wetting herself and sulked until they reached the next town.

After finding a suitable inn, they both booked a room and went to a nearby tavern to get some food and a mug of beer or two.

"Darkness, Darkness! Stop sulking already! See this delicious shrimp right here?" The self-proclaimed Goddess waved a half-eaten piece of shrimp right in front of Darkness' face and continued talking to her.

"I'll give this to you so cheer up! Since I'm a Goddess of Water, I managed to turn your warm golden liquid into pure pristine water when I touched it so it's not like your undies are smelly or anything."

The blonde Crusader finally lost her cool and banged the palm of her hand into the table, attracting a few curious glances and some annoyed ones.

"That's not the problem here! You! You purposefully make me go through such shameful experience and just laughed it off after like nothing ever happened! I won't deny that I like it, but still…!" Darkness gets flustered as she admitted that she actually enjoyed it.

"At the end of the day, are you a masochistic pervert or a young lady from a noble house?"

"I'm a woman! A young maiden with tender heart!"

"Oh, 's that 'o." Aqua swiftly shifted her attention to the beer mug in front of her.

"Listen to me!"

"I'm listening. Darkness is just some pervert who got cold feet when it comes to the real action, yes?"

"?!"

"What, you're not going to deny it?"

"Uuu…" Darkness lowered her head down in defeat, letting her blond hair cover her blushing face. I-It's not like I get cold feet on purpose or anything, or so thought she.

Taking a deep chug off her mug, Aqua let out a satisfied sigh while stretching her body.

"Ahh~, it sure is fun to bully Darkness."

"I'd be glad if you could find a better hobby," said Darkness while pouting.

"Eeh~, but there's no one else to tease." Aqua began disinterestedly playing with the end of her blue hair.

The bullied person sighed and decided to drop the matter indefinitely and moved to another topic.

"Say, what should we do about funds? I could already see the bottom of our pockets."

"Couldn't you just ask some money from the Dustiness house? You're their only daughter, so wouldn't your father tolerate it more or less?"

"Those are tax money! There's no way I can take them!"

"How about robbing a bank?"

"And why must all of your fundraising suggestions be criminal in nature?!"

Aqua shrugged her shoulder as if saying if Darkness has a better idea.

"Hmm…" The blonde Crusader strikes a thinking pose and offered an idea.

"How about taking monster subjugation request?"

Aqua waved her hand left and right in denial.

"No way, no way. We don't have enough manpower, no mage or thief and our firepower are practically zero. I'm a delicate healer after all."

"Zero?! But I'm a Crusader with considerable ATK stat!" Darkness' palm hit the table once more as she protested loudly.

"Yeah, sure. What's the use of having 999 ATK if your accuracy is -100%?"

"It's in the minus?!"

"Obviously! You can't even hit a scarecrow right in front of your eyes! Even I could hit it, but that's to be expected. I'm a Goddess after all."

"You're still continuing on with that Goddess thing?" Shifting her weight towards the chair on her back, which creaked in response, the masochist asked with a tired expression. Dealing with Aqua seems to be taking a lot out of her, and not in the way she wanted.

"Huh? Why are you phrasing it like I'm not a real one?"

"Because you're not?"

"How could you! So Darkness is denying the might of this young beautiful sweet pure flawless perfect Goddess of Water Aqua-sama of the Axis cult?!"

"No, more like, I'm not an Axis cultist. I'm a believer of the Eris Church…"

"Eris?! As in Eris the Goddess of Fortune? That Eris?! I'm her senpai, you know!"

"…Sure. Whatever makes you happier."

This time, it was Darkness' turn to disinterestedly ignore the fake self-proclaimed Goddess.

"You're taking me for a fool aren't you?! Hey, answer me!"

And so, they ended up bantering through the evening on that tavern table without making a single progress on how to solve their economical situation.


Review Replies:

XxPokemonMasterxX: My condolences?

Allosaurus .Jei: I prefer dog but sure, call me a cat! I've read the latest translated chapter of the LN, yes. And I do intend to continue this one... but whether I could do it in reality or not is different. So I won't make promises. (P.S. I thought your review was a flame at first D=)

DrScorcher: Here's moar~.

Impassive Purple: No matter how awesome and epic that would be, it would never come true unfortunately since I was just pulling on your leg. A true shame, to be honest.

Mr. Snarker: Spoiler: The end of the chapter(lol).

OtakuOne: You caught the reference, eh? As expected of you!

Jedi Lord -Author: Thanks for the review~. 'Lip taste', eh... (-_-)

GBRK: You know, I tried to stay as close to the original material as possible, and since the original material is a Japanese light novel, isn't it natural for me to write the story that way? With Japanese term, intended for Japanese audiences? I know this might sound stupid to you, but appealing the western audience and changing many terms like 'san', 'sensei', 'imouto' and the like into their English counterparts (mister, teacher, little sister) would defy my style of writing, which is as I had said at the start. I'm sorry, but this is one suggestion I won't accept.

Danmaku-OverLord: Spoiler: the end of the chapter(rofl). And no, I won't do four(five-with-Eris)some.

ArmantusCumPinnae: Uh, I have no idea what 8man is but if that makes you happy, then I'll lie. YES! I inserted a reference from 8man in chapter 3. Glad you liked it. ;) And no, no harem. Pure KazumaXMegumin.