AN: Wow. Thanks so much to everyone who gave me incredible feedback. You guys are awesome! Here's a longish chapter to celebrate.
When in Romania
"I will break down the gates of heaven
A thousand angels stand waiting for me
Take my heart
And I'll lay down my weapons
Break my shackles to set me free,"
—Pentatonix, "Run to You"
IV: Choice & Consequence
Steve clicks on stealth mode as soon as they're up in the air, plugs in the coordinates, and steers them in the right direction expertly. But he does so with a weight in the pit of his stomach that's almost nausea.
He makes the mistake of glancing to his right, seeing the rigid figure gripping the armrests of his seat so tight there are probably permanent indents underneath.
"Buck, I'm sorry," Steve says. Quiet, but sincere. Bucky just stares at the cloudy skies ahead.
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Twenty Minutes Earlier
It starts better than he expected, though they're faced with Stark and his allies. Some of them Bucky's fought personally, like Black Widow and T'Challa, king of Wakanda under the mask of the Black Panther (who Bucky is very much aware wants to kill him). Others he only recognizes from what Steve told him, like War Machine and Vision. He said to be careful of Vision.
It's why Bucky's nervous when the android targets Wanda, and by default Mila as she protects Wanda's back. Black Panther has Bucky too busy to lend a hand, but he notices when Wanda tosses an energy blast at Widow, getting her off Hawkeye's back.
But the blood in Bucky's veins goes cold when Mila tries to stop Vision from getting the drop on Wanda, her hand thrust out in front of her.
Bucky ducks a swipe of vibranium claws aiming for his throat, and calls out for her. If she hears him, she doesn't turn to look back at him.
Vision pauses, visibly confused by her power, but Bucky sees when the yellow Infinity Stone at the crown of the android's head begins to light up and counts it as a bad sign.
What happens next is a blur that Bucky doesn't remember vividly until later.
"Steve!"
The Captain glances his way and immediately sees the problem. A frustrated kick sends the Panther back enough that Steve blocks his way from catching up to Bucky, who just manages to hook an arm around Mila's waist and shield her smaller form with his body. He doesn't think first whether his metal arm will deflect the blast, but it turns out he doesn't have to when Wanda is able to put up a barrier between them and the stream of energy.
"Get behind me," Wanda encourages, opening up a wider barrier, and Bucky doesn't think twice before leading Mila away, but close enough to watch Wanda's back. When he looks down, Mila meets his gaze with a sheepish smile. Her hands are shaking.
"Don't take on more than you can handle," he warns her sternly and grabs her hands, even though he knows she'll detect his anger and the remnants of anxiety.
Mila nods hesitantly, but he can see she's a bit shaken. Not for the first time, Bucky feels guilty; if it weren't for him, she wouldn't be in the middle of a fight she has no business being in—
"Buck, a little help!" Steve shouts as War Machine and Black Panther begin to gang up on him with bullets and punches, alternatively.
Bucky glances back at Wanda over his shoulder.
"We've got it here," she says. Her eyes lock with Mila's, and understanding passes between the two.
"I'm all right. Go," Mila tells him firmly.
He loses track of her after that. The battle pulls him indoors on the search for the Quinjets with Sam, the two of them forced into dodging some kid in a red and blue outfit claiming to be Spiderman. Between fighting back and getting the goddamn webbing off of their hands and feet, Sam's suit is able to locate their jet, the only problem being that they're on the other side of the clearing.
But after Scott pulls his large and perfectly timed "distraction," it's a straight line from the standard planes to the hanger where the jet is parked. Sam helps with keeping Stark and War Machine busy while Bucky and Steve make a run for it.
But Bucky doesn't buy that only the two of them can get away safely. A few of them can still make it; Wanda and Mila are fighting the Black Panther only yards away—
Until Vision tries to bury the hanger by shooting a bolt of energy at the roof.
Wanda freezes the collapsing beams and concrete, holding the debris with her powers. But it leaves Mila open for a kick to the sternum by the Panther.
"Go!" Wanda says, straining.
Steve calls out to him when he stops short—his friend's eyes say they need to go, but in that moment he's torn when he sees the Panther's claws reach out.
At the last moment Mila's eyes glow brightly, and the claws recoil. She looks back at him over her shoulder, with both the remnants of fear and determination.
"Go now, Bucky! Don't stop!" he hears in his own earpiece, even though he can hear her without it.
War Machine shoots a high frequency blast that hits Wanda dead on, sending her to her knees grabbing her head in pain as her control over the building slips.
With Steve's hand on his shoulder, Bucky narrowly makes it inside along with him.
Natasha doesn't stop them when they jump into in the nearest jet, but in a twist of fate, holds Black Panther off while they fly out of the hole in the roof.
When Bucky looks down at the rapidly disappearing ground, he sees Wanda cradled by Vision, and not far off, Mila lying on her side on the pavement, hair obscuring her face.
For the king of Wakanda's sake, she better just be unconscious.
.
.
.
"What'll happen to them?" Bucky asks when he's a little more in control of himself. Steve's lips press in a line.
"Whatever it is, we'll deal with it," he says. Bucky closes his eyes, releasing his grip on the seat with a tired sigh.
"I need a little more than that, Steve," He says, and runs his non-metallic hand through his hair in frustration. No one should be breaking the law and getting captured because of he let a madman take advantage of his "programming." No one should be taking a bullet for him.
"I don't know if I'm worth all this."
Steve shoots him a look.
"What you did all those years…it wasn't you," he says eventually. "You didn't have a choice."
"I know," Bucky replies. And a lot of those people—they were liars and killers and terrorists and the scum of the earth just like HYDRA. But not all of them were.
Law officers. Political up-and-comers that posed a threat for HYDRA's control in respective governments. Civilians. Many caught in the crossfire that he can only remember in distant screams that he sometimes wouldn't let Mila dull in his head, because how could he deserve to forget?
It's almost not enough that he'll continue to see their faces every time he closes his eyes.
"But I still did it," Bucky says, and watches Steve's reaction. It's subtle, but those dark blue eyes dim a bit.
Then the Captain inhales deeply.
"When this is over, we'll find them," he says. "They'll be taken to a jail that can hold 'em."
Bucky's eyes narrow. And just like that, the nightmares replaying in his head are chased away by other thoughts, almost just as dark.
"What kind of jail?"
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NEAR NEW YORK CITY - The Raft
"This thing itches."
"Try not to pick at it," Clint tells her warily. Milena sighs. It takes a conscious effort to put her hand down by her side.
"Yeah, probably not a good idea," Scott says. "I've been electrocuted before. It's not…pleasant."
"What happened?" she asks.
"Got tased," he replies. "Feels like your skin's on fire."
"By the police?"
Scott eyes her in amusement. It's not the first time he's been on the receiving side of her curiosity; before they stripped him out of it, his "distraction" got her wondering about all the bells and whistles on his suit and how it worked. A lot of it is trade secrets (Pym would kill him if he blabbed specifics), but he told her a little of how the regulator works, and she'd been very interested about the EMP device that helps him communicate with the ants.
"You ask a lot of questions," he says. Milena grins sheepishly.
"Sorry."
"'S all good. Good guess though," he says wryly, tapping his nose. "Let's just say I haven't always been this heroic."
Sam huffs out a long breath, hanging his head a bit. He knows Scott's history. He did his homework after…that incident at the Avengers compound that won't be repeated.
"I'm sorry, man," Sam says, then looks up at the man in the cell to his right, sitting on the bed with his arms crossed. "You too, Barton. Steve and I called you guys in."
"Cap needed the help," Clint says, shaking his head. "Still needs it."
Conversation dies after that. Milena thinks of Wanda, who was fitted with a blue and gray prison outfit like the rest of them, as well as a straightjacket and a shock collar in case she tries to use her powers, and put into solitary confinement. She doesn't know where the other woman is.
She hopes it's at least comfortable enough for Wanda to sleep.
Milena is broken out of her thoughts by the large, double doors at the end of the hall sliding open. Then she has to fight for control of her emotions at the man who comes in, so she doesn't accidentally project anything.
Tony Stark is not without physical injury, but what surprises her is the guilt and sadness she feels from him as he dodges verbal jabs from Clint and Scott. Eventually, his eyes meet hers and she knows he knows what she sees in him.
"How 'bout you, how're you feeling?" he asks. "Stupid question, I know."
But he is concerned, she thinks. Genuinely.
Doesn't change the fact that she wants to give him a black eye to match the other; it's because of him that Steve and Bucky are trying to stop the possible destruction of the world alone, without the rest of them to help.
"If it wouldn't put me into cardiac arrest, I would show you."
Stark's eyes lower to the metal around her neck subconsciously.
"Are you still on my side?" she asks rhetorically. She expects him to turn his back on her.
He winks at her instead.
Then he knocks out the audio in the cameras just long enough to convince the four jailbirds that he believes in Steve Rogers.
Sleep doesn't come to her that night like it does (eventually) for the three men. Worry for the two super soldiers, as well as anxiety of being in a cell again, wreak havoc on her mind as memories from the facility make her break out into a cold sweat.
"It must be done, Lena. For the sake of our future, for the sake of the world," he says as she lies on the table. Tears run down her face when the leather gag prevents her from begging him not to do this to her.
"We have enough soldiers. What we need is…intelligence." His fingers slide down her cheek, despite her shaking form trying to recoil from him. "How better to acquire intelligence than by extracting it? And the possibilities for control are endless."
His new assistant comes in with the necessary test tubes and clean syringes. He picks one up and smells the chemicals within reverently. They are the only labor of love he knows in this world.
"You will see, Lena," he says while watching tiny bubbles float inside the liquid. "Your position is one of honor."
"Hey," she hears from the cell to her left, and her gaze flicks unsteadily up to Clint's. His eyes are sharp, but she feels his concern. Reaching out, sensing his emotions, it grounds her a little as fear and anxiety from both the memory and the surrounding walls start to climb up from her chest into her throat.
"Hey, you okay?" he asks. She focuses on her breathing until she can answer.
"Yes."
"You're a bad liar."
She almost smiles, because she knows. Bucky's told her that more than once. She wishes she could see him—
You will see, Lena.
Her half-smile falters and her breath hitches, and her nails dig into the mattress as the very name echoes in the walls of her mind.
"Just do long even breaths," Clint says. She doesn't notice the slightly worried set of his gaze.
All the possibilities…but breathe. Breathe even though it hurts.
"It's not my first panic attack," she snaps with a strained look, and shuts her eyes tightly.
Control, Lena. Control.
She tries and fails to command her breathing. She bites her lip, hard, and almost tastes leather.
"Are you sure—"
"Leave me alone."
She doesn't need a spectator, certainly not from a relative stranger.
But she still feels his eyes on her when she moves to the edge of her bed and forced herself to breathe evenly, and it's much easier to now that her ribs have fully healed.
"It is an honor to serve your country."
"This is not Russia…this is wrong."
"You will help us make a better world, regardless of your childish notions."
She stares down at the floor. Accepts her surroundings as glass walls (except for the white wall that her bed is situated against) and white floors; clean, with a relatively soft bed and scratchy sheets. Differentiates them from the rusty metal bars and cement floors in her mind.
Eventually the anxiety passes, and overcoming it exhausts her enough that she's able to fall into fitful sleep.
The next morning, they get no word or update. Not from Stark, or anyone.
So really, all they can do is wait.
"I'm not playing I-Spy with you. There's nothing to spy."
"Well I'm done playing twenty-questions, Raven Baxter."
"Did you just reference a kid's show my niece watches?" Sam mutters.
"Why?" Milena asks Scott.
"Unfair advantage," Scott says pointedly.
"I can't read your mind," she retorts.
"Doesn't mean your educated guesses are more than a little educated."
"No one needs to guess what you're thinking for 'hella tall,' 'golden blonde,' and 'has a thing for lightning,'" Sam says dryly.
"Don't forget 'dramatic,'" Clint mutters. "Overly muscled."
"What's he like?" Milena asks. Besides all those things.
"Talks like fuckin' Shakespeare's dumber brother," Clint says with a smirk. They've teased him about it more than once, and it almost never gets old.
"Doth Mother know you weareth her drapes?"
He hadn't been there for that one, but damn had he laughed when Tony told him about it later.
"You don't happen to have 'im on speed dial, do you?" Scott asks. Clint chuckles.
"Pretty sure he's out of range."
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WAKANDA, AFRICA
He wakes in a hospital-like room with a crick in his neck, his body aching, and a missing left arm. Not to mention an acute sense of déjà vu.
Artificial lights above him are bright and annoying, but the bed is soft, and out of the corner of his eye he can see a mop of blonde hair that he knows all too well. It calms him.
"How're you feelin'?" Steve's voice is more gravelly than usual, but it carries enough threaded concern that Bucky picks up on.
"Probably better than you," he replies. Steve smiles.
"I'm okay." And it's more or less true. The bruises and fractures and lacerations are healing quickly thanks to his advanced anatomy, even if he has an ache in his head that keeps him from moving too much on his own bed.
"Really?" Bucky asks. There's a look in his eyes that reminds Steve of a dreary day in Brooklyn. A service where he spent the whole day shaking hands and nodding, numb until it was just the two of them left standing in front of a newly made grave. All it took was Bucky's hand on his shoulder, and suddenly he couldn't be numb anymore.
He was never a good liar and Bucky was never stupid enough to believe him when he tried.
"I'll be okay," Steve amends.
He's lost a friend, who for his faults is a good man who likely feels betrayed. Steve understands that, feels guilty for it down to his bones.
"I'll be better when we make one more prison break." Bucky perks up in Steve's direction.
"How are we doing it?"
"I know someone we can call."
Bucky looks down at what's left of his arm. All he wants to do now is break down and through whatever he needs to until he finds her, knows she's safe. But he can't help but think it'll be exponentially harder to do now than it would've been a few days ago.
"I should sit this one out," he murmurs. He could pilot the Quinjet while Steve makes the recovery. "Air-support only."
The blonde looks over at him.
"What about—"
Bucky gestures to his missing limb.
"This makes it a little harder to shoot, don't you think?" he says dryly. He refuses to endanger the success of the mission, for anything.
"I'd say you're pretty capable regardless," Steve retorts. "You really want me to be the one walking her out of there?"
Bucky sighs and rests his head back.
"If it means she walks out," he says, brows furrowing in frustration.
Steve falls silent. He's saddened by the guilty, self-deprecating look he sees in the other man's eyes; to anyone else his tone would sound stoic, but for all of Bucky's bravado in the past, he'd never been good at getting anything past Steve either. That's when he realizes something that warms him, despite the situation.
This girl matters, more than he thinks Bucky realizes.
But the silence breaks when the king of Wakanda walks in through the open door, a clipboard in his hands.
"I see you're awake," the man says, with a particular smile that sends Bucky an immediate red flag. "I have a question for you."
He hands over the clipboard to Bucky, whose eyes roam over the pages with increasing interest.
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THE RAFT – One Week Later
"So wait, twenty years off the grid? You must've been all over," Sam says. Milena shakes her head, smiling ruefully.
"I haven't traveled as much as I'd have liked. I was in the Ukraine for a long time."
Trying to get by without hurting anyone or risk anyone finding out she was different.
There had been a learning curve to figuring out just how HYDRA's meddling with her physiology changed her. Without money or resources, she'd spent a few months homeless, sleeping under bridges; it soon became obvious that while she wouldn't die from those conditions, she wasn't impervious. There were nights she had been able to sleep in church basements, until a widow took pity on her and let her stay for much longer than Mila planned, or ever hoped.
"Must've been cold," Scott remarks. He grew up in Miami, Florida, where the weather was like Hell's ass-crack from late spring until early fall. Not even a lick of snow until he went with his family to North Carolina one Christmas break to see his grandparents.
"I'm used to cold," Milena replies, and leans back against the wall from where she sits on her bed. "Winters in Russia were nothing to laugh at."
She has several unsavory memories of shivering underneath threadbare blankets; any requests for another blanket or maybe some gloves met with steely glares. The experiments ensured she wouldn't get frostbite, but the cold was still unpleasant.
"What about in Romania?" Sam asks. Milena's expression turns thoughtful.
Fortunately, those nights in Russia are a stark contrast to more recent ones spent with Bucky in her apartment. They'd greeted the New Year with hot chocolate and homemade chocolate chip cookies that she very nearly burnt, but he hadn't minded; after taking a bite, his lips had twitched at a smile.
Feeling his nostalgia and brief happiness over a tinge of sadness, she asks him what he saw.
"I think my mom used to make these," he says, and smiles more fully as he takes another bite.
"They used to be colder," she admits as she stares out vacantly, but smiling at the memory. She doesn't see Sam and Clint sharing knowing looks, while Scott's just a little confused.
.
.
"Well, at least you're thinkin' of something good," Clint remarks, smirking further at her blush. It wasn't hard to tell there was something between her and what he'd seen of the fatal looking, nearly silent Winter Soldier, who only seemed to trust her and Steve. Clint wasn't thrilled at the time to meet him, knowing he'd been the one to shoot Natasha way back when.
But after Milena explained the control HYDRA had over him, and with Clint's own experience with having his head fucked with, he was able to understand the Soldier a little better.
Before the fight at the airport, he saw him arguing with Steve, eyes blazing with frustration and those lethal hands clenched at his sides. Then later, seeing him holding Milena protectively, eyes noticeably softer and even afraid, Clint was able to understand the man a little better.
.
.
"Beats staring at the wall," Sam points out. "I wish we had some cards or somethin'."
"I wonder…" Milena cuts herself off. Her eyes subconsciously glance up at the cameras.
I hope they're all right.
It's been a week since they were arrested, but after days with no new information, Sam got the guards bringing them food to talk a little: Colonel Helmut Zemo is the real name of the man who impersonated the psychiatrist meant to evaluate Bucky. He was captured alive by King T'Challa and brought to Berlin, but Stark hasn't visited since the day he renewed their trust in him.
They have no update on Steve or Bucky, and it leaves Milena feeling cold and worried. But at the very least, they defeated Zemo and escaped the facility.
"I hope they're safe," she says softly. Clint glances over.
"Who, Cap and Red Dawn?" he asks, eliciting a bland look out of her once she recognizes the reference.
"Creative," she deadpans. She thinks she prefers Stark's "Tin Man" remark.
"Look," Sam interjects, but is mindful of the cameras listening above and chooses his next words carefully. "Steve's too stubborn to quit, let alone die. I doubt Barnes is any different."
Milena knows that. She knows how strong he is, and now that he remembers being himself and knows Steve again, he's a little more stable. But it's hard not to worry for him with so much that could go wrong…
She shakes her head at her own thoughts when the lights turn off automatically; "curfew" is at eleven, though in here it's hard to get a sense of the time after dinner time.
Milena slips her shoes off but keeps her socks on when she slips under the scratchy, thin blankets of her bed.
"Goodnight," she says, but when she adds something in Russian, she can feel their collective confusion and curiosity.
"What's that mean?" Scott asks. Milena smiles.
"Pleasant dreams."
"Oh…well, you too."
She rolls over and curls her arms around her knees, tucked up to her chest, wishing she could watch some TV or read the one book they gave her. It figures the moment she actually wants to read, it's too dark to see.
I'm not even tired.
Milena sighs and stares up into the darkness, feeling the pinpricks of loneliness set in.
But she shouldn't feel as lonely as she does. Scott is very talkative and likeable; honest in a way she finds refreshing. When he and Clint bond over crude humor it makes her smile (if sometimes mildly disgusted), especially when she sees Sam rolling his eyes when she can feel his laughter bubbling underneath a collected persona.
She does like Steve's friend. He's direct, but knows how to word things without coming off too blunt. Sam is also good at reading in between the lines of conversation in a way that's more organic than her way. Clint is also very perceptive, probably more due to his training than anything else.
She's learned a lot about these men in ten days, but…she misses her apartment. Her couch, her own bed, her record player and her favorite crocheted blanket, given to her by the first person besides her mother to show her mercy.
Her neighbors and former clients probably think she's a freak and a criminal if they saw the news, not to mention Emil and Lina, who she knows for a fact watch and read the news religiously ever since the Avengers incident in Sokovia.
Everything she spent years building up for herself—her shop, her life, it's all just…over.
She slides her knees up closer to her chest as tears sting her eyes. The worst part is, she can't ask herself yet if it was worth it.
But as she lies in bed (hoping she will sleep), in her mind she holds onto the one and only night she enjoyed dancing—to a song just as endearing and warm as the man that held her.
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.
.
She wakes up startled by a strong hand on her shoulder and quickly spoken words.
"What?" she manages through the haziness of sleep, but as her vision focuses her eyes widen in surprise.
"Captain?"
"Come on, we're gettin' everyone out," Steve smiles. He helps her to her feet and, after breaking out Sam, Clint, and Scott, they exit the large double doors that enclose their unit of cells. Steve presses his hand to his ear.
"Sharon, we're moving. What's your position?"
"I'm here," a familiar blonde says, grinning up at Steve with an impressive looking gun in her hand. Milena knows next to nothing about guns, but she recognizes Sharon as the pretty woman Steve kissed goodbye little over a week ago. Wanda follows behind her, her eyes bloodshot and the shock collar still around her neck like Milena's, but she's smiling and free of the straightjacket.
"Your uniforms and gear are already on the jet," Sharon tells Clint, Sam and Scott. All three of them brighten at that, but Milena is still looking for Bucky, wondering with trepidation why he isn't here.
Was he hurt?
Just as she's about to ask the Captain, he warns the whole group that they only have less than five minutes before they're discovered.
"Then let's stop talkin' and hit the road," Clint says. Steve nods and leads them down the hall at a more than brusque pace, taking out guards with swift punches and blows with his shield as they go. Clint helps Wanda, who looks fatigued at she starts to lag behind.
"You all right?" he asks earnestly. Wanda nods gratefully for his hand on her arm keeping her upright.
She smiles at him and Milena, who helps on her other side. "It's good to see you guys."
Steve eventually opens a door at the end of a long hallway and starts running up the metal staircase that seems to lead up a couple stories.
"Don't stop 'til we get to the roof!" he calls down to them over his shoulder. Milena looks up and wonders if she can even make it, if Wanda can make it. But Milena's attention goes back to Steve when she hears him talk into his intercom.
"Hey, where are you?" His voice is more or less neutral, but even from the end of the line she picks up on his concern.
"Understood. Make for the roof. We need to take off in a couple minutes."
After curiosity about whoever he was talking to subconsciously shifts Milena's thoughts to Bucky again, she can't help but start in surprise when gunshots ring above her head.
"We've got incoming!" Clint shouts. He moves to cover both Wanda and Milena's backs by shoving them ahead of him. "Go! Go!"
Milena only looks back when she hears a grunt of pain behind her.
"Clint!" She doesn't see or hear Steve ordering the rest of them to keep going while he makes his way down to her and the former Avenger bleeding from his back. All she knows is she has to help Clint up before the soldier-like agents in dark uniforms catch up the twenty or so steps it'll take to get to them.
"I'm fine. Keep going!" he shouts at her.
"No you're not!" she snaps.
The two manage to get onto their feet and start climbing again, if slower than they had been a minute ago. But a second later Steve is there and grabs Clint's arm, propelling him forward faster than Milena possibly could.
It's just her luck that she misses a step and bangs her knee on solid metal, but it's the pain of a bullet grazing above her hip that makes her cry out.
Steve's hand shoots out for her, but just as she gets up to grab it her hair is painfully tugged back by a gloved hand.
No!
She can't help the short scream that comes from losing her balance, as well as gut-wrenching fear that she's not going to make it out with everyone else.
Until there's a warbled yell and an audible snap that reaches her ears. Then the painful grip on her hair loosens and is gone, and her back is pressed to something hard, but warm as a strong arm wraps around her waist.
"I've got you," a coarse voice says, and relief hits her in waves so immediately that she feels tears in her eyes.
"Bucky," Milena whispers shakily. But she yelps when she's hefted effortlessly into the man's arms. He nods up at Steve, who smirks and gestures for them to go up ahead of them.
"I'll cover you," he says, and Bucky doesn't need to be told twice, starting up the stairs quicker with Milena in his arms than she had on her own.
She cranes her head back to see the steely concentration on his face, in his sharp blue eyes that glance down at her when he feels her watching him.
"Where were you?" she asks in concern. He smiles a little.
"Got held back clearing the way for all of you," he admits. It's then that she notices something about his metal arm—that it's shinier, and though the overall construction seems the same, even with the large red emblem of the Soviet Union. But she doesn't have time to ask about it now.
"Start the jet," they hear Steve say behind them. "We're comin' in hot."
They reach the roof less than a minute later, where Scott grabs Bucky's right shoulder in support when he jumps into the Quinjet with Milena. The door slides down to a close after Steve jumps in behind them.
"We're clear, take her up!" he calls to Sharon in the pilot's chair, but she's already started accelerating. Secretary Ross' men begin to file onto the roof and shoot at the aircraft until Sharon switches on stealth mode, and steers them into the night.
