Chapter 3


Rick quickly shut the door before him and began to make his way back into the kitchen. He speedily scrubbed the dishes to get off any of the caked on syrup left over from their pancake safari and placed all of their dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Drying his hands off on one of the towels hanging off the stove, he quickly walked back through his office into his bedroom, stripping off his clothes and immediately heading towards the bathroom, intent of taking a quick shower.

After rinsing off the stray bits of batter that had somehow ended up on his arms from breakfast that morning and running his hand through his hair a few times, Rick quickly shut off the hot water, allowing the droplets to run off of his body, shaking his head to get the excess water out of his hair before wrapping a towel around his waist and moving into his bedroom, stop at his sink only to brush his teeth and put on some deodorant.

He grabbed a pair of socks, a pair of underwear, and an undershirt from his dresser and moved back towards the bed where he had laid out his clothes earlier that morning. Slipping off his towel, he got dressed on autopilot, pulling his boxers up around his waist and drawing his white t-shirt over his head. Rick picked his shirt up off the bed, and slid it over his shoulders, buttoning the cuffs and the buttons up his chest with nimble fingers. He pulled his slacks up over his legs, buttoning them, slipping the tails of his shirt underneath his waistband before slipping a belt through the belt loops. He sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling on a pair of black socks before moving swiftly over to his closet, grabbing a pair of black dress shoes and sliding them onto his feet, tying the laces tightly, the old fundamentals making a strong appearance since Nicholas told him he wanted to tie his own shoes. He closed the closet door behind him and moved back over towards his dresser.

On top, he had all of his most important possessions that he needed to use every day: His hair brush, his special styling cream, and of course his cologne. He styled his hair with practiced ease in front of his mirror, before splashing on just a dash of his cologne.

Towards the middle of the dresser, were pictures in frames and other momentos. Kate's jewelry box sat in the middle, her necklace and her father's watch safely inside their own drawer.

There was a dish next to it that held Rick's important accessories: the watch that Kate had given him as a gift that had made him tear up, the macaroni necklace Nicholas made him at pre-school, the bracelet of clay beads that Alexis had made him all those years ago for father's day, and, of course, his wedding band.

He shot a short glance back at Kate's jewelry box, knowing that the top portion of the mahogany box had only two things nestled inside of it: her own engagement ring, and the wedding band that matched the one in his dish.

Taking a deep breath, he slid the watch that had been Kate's wedding present to him on over his wrist, closing the clasp gently and adjusting it so the watch face gleamed up at him. Then with his right hand, he reached into the shallow dish and fished out the white gold band that always seemed to sink to the bottom.

He looked at the ring. He could still remember everything about their wedding day. Just holding the ring, he remembered the overwhelming sense of joy he had felt when she slid the band onto his finger for the first time. His had been shaking so badly that he nearly dropped the ring as he went to slide it on hers. She had laughed at him, before giving him a smile that took his breath away.

She had looked so beautiful in her white dress. He had to seriously fight the urge to run down the aisle towards her as she appeared at the end on her father's arm, her own happiness palpable as she smiled at him. He swore time had stopped.

"You don't have to keep wearing it, you know."

Removing his gaze from the band in his hand, his eyes sought out hers in the reflection of the mirror. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands holding each other in her lap, looking at him with sincere eyes.

Rick couldn't imagine not wearing his wedding band. When he had married her, he had promised that he would never take that ring off, no matter what they went through. He loved her more than he had ever loved any other woman in the world. He had given her his heart and didn't ever want it back. Rick had given her the absolute best parts of himself, just as she had given him everything she had, and Rick was never going to forget that.

He didn't want anyone else. He swore to himself that he wasn't going to do to Nicholas what he had tried so desperately to achieve with Alexis: find someone who could be a mother and jump into a relationship with her. No, that wasn't fair. To anyone. Rick knew the minute he married Kate that no one would ever come after her. He made a promise to himself that Kate was going to be his last everything.

Even if his last everything came 30 years earlier than he had expected, he didn't intend to break that promise.

Rick didn't want women throwing themselves at him. He didn't want any other woman to ever think they had the chance to stake a claim in his life, his bed, or, heaven forbid, his heart.

Nicholas didn't need another mom in his life. He had already had one. The best one in the whole world. Rick couldn't ever try to replace her. And luckily for Nicholas, he had other incredible women in his life to teach him what he needed to know. Of course it wasn't the same thing, but it was something.

Nicholas had his grandmother Martha to teach him how to have fun and respect women. He had his big sister Alexis to teach him how to be kind and the merits of studying hard. He had Aunt Lanie to teach him how to be a good listener and an even better friend. He had Aunt Jenny to teach him to be graceful and patient. He even had Gates (who had a particular fondness of the green-eyed boy) to teach him how to be strong and brave.

And that's not even mentioning the men that loved Nicholas as well. He had Uncle Javier, who would undoubtedly try to teach him how to pick up girls, but would also teach him what it means to be a fighter. Uncle Kevin would teach him what loyalty means and Grandpa Jim would teach him that there's always light at the end of the tunnel, there's always room to forgive.

Rick just had to teach him everything else.

Rick knew that every single one of them would always be there for his son whenever he needed them.

No, he didn't need anyone else in their lives. They would be fine just the way they were.

Wearing the ring made it easier.

Less heartache for everyone involved.

"Of course I do," he whispered, catching her eyes in the reflection.

He slipped his ring onto his finger.


"What do you mean you don't want to have a launch party?" Gina and Paula practically yelled simultaneously at him in one of the large conference rooms at Black Pawn.

Rick sat there at the table, his expression blank while the women paced in front of him on the opposite side of the table.

Paula spoke first, sighing as if she was talking to a child, "Rick, launch parties are essential in selling your books."

Gina chimed in, "And Packing Heat has sold more books than any of your previous novels ever."

Because the inspiration died.

Gina didn't actually say it, but everyone in the room heard it loud and clear.

Rick still didn't respond.

Paula sighed again, "Rick… I know it's been a rough couple of months…"

The understatement of the century if everyone in the room was being honest.

"… but think of your career."

Rick took a deep breath after a moment of silence, knowing that what he was about to say next would change everything.

"I think it's time for me to retire."

The silence that fell across the room was deafening.

Finally, Gina broke it.

"Oh my god," she muttered, "You can't be serious about this."

He nodded once, "I am."

Paula broke in, "Ricky come on, be rational…"

With a speed Rick didn't know existed, he stood up from his spot at the table, slamming his hands on the surface in front of him.

"I've thought this through, Paula. God Paula, I've thought through every aspect of this decision."

Gina interrupted, "Rick, you're still under contract for two more Nikki Heat novels."

Rick clenched his jaw, "I don't care."

"Richard," Gina bristled, "you can't just…"

"I can't just what?" Rick said, throwing his hands up in the air, startling the two women on the other side of the room. "Rip up my contract, black list me, sue me. I don't care. You can do all of those things. But you know what I can't do? I can't write novels about her anymore. I can't… sit there at my desk and imagine the things Nikki would say and what she would do because Nikki Heat is gone. Without Kate…" He took a deep breath, dropping his gaze back towards the table, "I can't do it," he muttered, "I just can't do it…"

There was a long moment where Gina and Paula did nothing but look at the man in front of them, his shoulders slumped forward, hands braced tightly against the table. The two of them hadn't seen much of Rick since the accident, but they were entirely unprepared for how he looked now. His clothes fit looser than they normally did, his face thinner, his cheekbones protruding out of his skin. His eyes lacked the spark that had always been there before. He looked exhausted. He looked haunted.

He looked like the love of his life, a woman who he had written 300 page love letters to, who had made him grow up when everyone else had given up on him, who had given him a new family, a son, a chance, was taken from him far too soon.

Paula took a deep breath, "okay," she whispered. Rick's head snapped up and looked at her.

"Okay," she said again, her voice a little stronger, nodding her head, "if you're done, we're done. I'll stick around to release some statements and get everything sorted out with the press, and then our contract will be terminated."

Gina wasn't willing to let it go so easily. "Richard Castle, you are bound by law to write two more novels."

Rick shook his head from side to side.

Gina continued, "You signed a legally binding contract last year stating that you would…"

Paula cut in, her voice sharp, but tired, "Gina, stop being a bitch."

Gina bristled, her voice still getting louder, "I'm not being a bitch, I'm doing my job, something you clearly aren't doing anymore."

"No," Paula said fiercely, her voice much more threatening, "I'm making my client happy and giving him what he wants, which is exactly what my job is. If you would stop letting your personal issues with your client get in the way of how you do your job, maybe you would actually be able to do it."

Rick watched Gina and Paula glare at each other for a minute before Gina bit the inside of her cheek, breaking eye contact and looking at him.

Gina spoke slowly, her voice dropping low, giving him one more chance to back out, "If I call the lawyers up here Richard, there's no going back. Your writing career… is over."

Rick dropped back into his seat and pulled a pen out of his pocket with a flourish, a small smile forming on his lips.

"Where do I sign?"


Anniversary, by Chase Coy


(did you guys really think I would have him kill himself? That never even crossed my mind...)