AN: I have an official plot now. YAY! I changed the summery if you didn't notice.

Summery: New Moon AU - Bella: transformed through fire under the LaPush waters; alone. Edward: Forced to join the world of the Volturi to insure his families safety; miserable. Eleazar: "The Legend Of The Diamond Phoenix is no myth young Bella… it is you".

AN 2: I'm going to tell you now, you got a taste of darkness last chapter… that's probably not going to go away for a while, thus (Alice agrees with me on this one) angst will be this stories best friend for a while, and by angst… I mean blood sucking monsters in a shit load of emotional turmoil… without further ado…

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight... I mearly use it's times places and people.

Ch 2: Desolation

Edwards POV

I watched the slaughter in front of me in revulsion. I knew what was coming, so did they. I hadn't fed in well over a month, my eye's were not golden… they were black, there was no distinction between what I am and who I am anymore, and in a few seconds, that line would blur. I had already lost my reason for existence… may Hell swallow me whole.

Three day's prior

Edward? Please, my son…

"Please, Edward I can not bear this any longer."

"Edward you have not moved from this position in over two weeks, you have not fed in over a month. Please son, come hunting with Carlisle and I. Please?"

Will you not answer me. Do we mean nothing to you?

I had stared out the window for a long time, laying in a fetal position on my black couch in sweats. But that thought, and the agony behind it finally made my eye's move to look at her. I saw her agony, it was my fault, it was all my fault. I could not hold her gaze. My throat was incredibly dry without venom to cover it. I had not spoken in over two weeks, and my voice cracked.

"I'm sorry mother." She fell on her knees and dry sobbed, her hands grasping mine, her head resting on the side of the couch. I could not hunt, it was pitiful, but I needed the pain, I needed the burn. It was masochistic in so many ways. My freesia candle had burned out not long ago, the strawberry one was about to follow. It wasn't close to the same the fragrance marred by burning wax, but if only fleetingly, when I didn't think, I could almost feel her in my arms, her hair under my nose. She was my goddess, and she was dead… because I left her. My sorry good for nothing attempt to let her have a happy human life… gone. If I could have told myself… if I could have gone back and told myself, it would not have taken much convincing, knowing this pain. If Bella had been right, and I did have a soul, it laid with her, leaving me an empty good for nothing mass of Vampire.

"Go with Carlisle." My voice still cracked. She looked up at me,

Why must you torture yourself?

I had no sound answer for her.

Emmett and Rose will be returning, then I will go to meet Carlisle at the hospital.

I nodded. She sighed leaning over me, leaving me with a kiss on the forehead. They never left me alone, There was always someone here, to make sure I didn't leave. Not that Esme could stop me… but I lay here for their benefit, it's not like I had anywhere but Hell to go.

Not much later I heard Emmett and Rose come in, both debating whether or not they wanted to see me, much like some wonder if they want to see a loved one in the casket after they are dead. Both decided on other activities to which I tuned out as much as possible. I was staring out my window again…

There are only three.

Only three, that's easy.

Oh, to cause the pained, even more pain.

Let's get this over with

I hissed loudly and Emmett and Rose were in my room in less than two seconds, fully clothed surprisingly. Both in raw panic, I hadn't hardly moved let alone made any sort of reaction like this in so long…

"Four vampires are nearby, they are here to attack." Emmett's mind went wild for a fight as Rose tried to remain calm.

Run or Fight, we were outnumbered.

"We run." I grabbed my cell and jumped out of my room window with Emmett and Rose both bewildered at my sudden liveliness… I wasn't alive, I was just trying to keep them from death… from my death. I got Carlisle's voice message, he must have been out of range all ready.

"Carlisle, four vampire's were going to the house, they were going to attack. I don't know if you should go back, we are running north to…

Shit!

We came to a halt as Irina stepped out from behind a tree.

"Irina?" Rose spit out.

Got them!

"Who are your buddies?" Emmett asked. The Four vampires plus Irina surrounded us. Jane, Alec, Demetri, and Felix. Jane spoke.

"Irina, are these the traitors you spoke of."

"Yes." I looked up, her mind stayed blank, the others were blocking me fairly well also, but Felix got side tracked by Rose's figure. I tuned out the thoughts about her and dug deeper.

Stupid idiots told a silly girl about us… now the shifters know of us… stupid brat.

The snarl was involuntary, I shouldn't have attacked him, but I did. Bella. Was. Not. A. Brat! I didn't get very far. I had heard of Jane's power, but to feel it… it was like loosing Bella again. Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella…

And then there was nothing. No up no down, no left no right, just nothing… a void, it was fitting enough for me, it felt like me. It was me… empty, timeless, broken, forgotten, loveless, and unlovable by any other than my reason for existence… but she was gone… God!

The pain the wracked my body was just the same as normal, even in this void… it took me a while to realize the void was gone.

"Jane, that's quite enough." I looked up to see where I was. The faces, the voices, The Volturi. I stood up. Behind me, Rose and Emmett lay on the floor, still under Alec's power. I wonder low long he could keep it up. I looked forward.

"Aro." I greeted. He wasted no time and took my hand in his. I saw everything… everything, every lonely minute, every happy one, every second after I left… I saw my own pain, my families pain… my fault. The happiness burned me more every second, but I did not fall.

Aro took his hand from mine and he gasped in shock falling to the floor, his thoughts muddled by so much pain… the pain that told me Bella was alive… then the pain that resulted from knowing that she wasn't. I was on the ground in a second. Jane clearly had no reservations about using her power. It ended eventually.

"La Tua Cantante… You fell in love with your la Tua Cantante… and she is dead?"

I did not answer him. Finding out that what she was to me had a name, was interesting in hindsight… but it didn't matter now. His distress was inconsequential. He got up feeling a bit shaky.

"What do you want?"

"Ah, not one for small talk, I can see that. Well, you see we came across a problem that required attention. Apparently a group of look alike werewolves took down your Denali friend Irina's mate Laurent." My mind reeled at that information. "She was informed of this by a woman by the name of Victoria" my growl was deep and primal, it only grew in loudness as he continued, "hoping to gain Irina's help, but the name Isabella came up and she promptly refused. But word of Victoria's defeat reached her, she still wanted revenge so she came to us for help. We have not addressed the wolf issue yet, but we wished to address that which is more pertinent and dangerous to us here. And that was that you broke our law."

"Yes and now… she's dea… d." I let out the dry sob, not bothering to hold it back. "It makes no difference now." I was going to die, I was going to hell… and because of my stupidity, my family was coming with me.

"Yes, but what if she wasn't? If she were alive, you still left a human in the know… that is in fact punishable by death." A thought flit across his mind… and existence was looking significantly darker.

"Then why haven't you killed us yet?" He knew my power through Irina… he didn't want me dead… I could only assume the still unconscious Rose and Emmett were his bargaining chips. Aro began his story telling for his fellow vampires… all who believed his word as absolute truth, except for me.

"Well you see, you're specific talent of mind reading from a distance," every mind went blank, then wary, and ever careful of their thoughts, it would have been humorous in another setting perhaps, "well, it seems just too horrible to put such to waste. When it comes to Bella, I understand her mental silence was intriguing to you, eventually her unusual observation skills led to your breaking the law. Now I understand that your family had no part in this to begin with, they only got sucked into it because of circumstances," that was one way of putting it, "that and I am rather fond of Carlisle. Thus I have found a rather merciful alternative. I let your family go as I let the Denali's go despite their mother… only instead of your death, you would repay the law in servitude amongst the Volturi guard. What do you think?" My hands were tied. Though Caius was seething at Aro's arrangement, Marcus was saddened by my situation.

"I accept on the condition that Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper, are pardoned in addition to Rosalie and Emmett."

"Of course. And I know you prefer the scum of the earth to feed on from your rebellious years, I could perhaps order straight from the chopping block if you so desire." I snorted.

I'm sorry

The thought came loud and clear, over everything else. I located the man behind the voice… Marcus. My eye's drifted to him, and I saw his life, I saw my future… a pointless future full of pain.

"That would be preferable. Your accommodations are too kind Aro." I sneered at him. He smiled and reached up to pat me on the head as he would a child.

"See off your friends Edward… Alec, release them." And so they began to wake up from their senseless sleep as we were all walked to a private room off of the lobby. Emmett groggily sat down on a plush couch, and Rose sat beside him. He looked up,

"Dude, where are we and why?" This wasn't going to be fun. But they would be safe, I hoped… and I'd know if they weren't.

"We are in Italy with the Volturi." Both Emmett and Rose's eye's flew open at that.

"Why!" Rose shouted, "What have we done?"

"We told a human." Rose stopped mid rant looking at me, a mix of rage, and fear and hate and pity and guilt swamped her thoughts, I rephrased. "I told a human, and our family is guilty by association."

"Well they're not going to kill us without a fight!" Emmett bellowed. I raised my hand at him, to get him to listen…

"No one else is dying. You have been pardoned."

Dude I'm not going to let them kill my little bro! I smiled at the sentiment.

But Esme… Carlisle, they'll be devastated. Rose had been getting a lot of work at not thinking of only herself as of late, it was refreshing sometimes to hear such thoughts come from her.

"As I said, no one else is dying… as… she is already dead, and it's not your fault… they are pardoning you on the condition that I join them." They stared at me in shock. "You are free to leave when ever you want, I suggest sooner rather than later, I'm sure Carlisle and Esme will be worried after the message I left them."

"But Edward,"

"There are no buts Rose, you should be glad to have me out of the house. Give Carlisle and Esme my love, I'm still just a phone call away." I tried smiling, it hurt, and it didn't work. Demetri and Felix opened the door knowing my last words were said. Rose and Emmett got up, and before he left, Emmett turned around,

See you soon brother, don't stay away too long.

He smiled but it did not reach his eyes. I followed their minds until they were out of reach, both sending me their silent goodbyes, Rose falling deeper into the depression that our failing family had sent her into… Our family had fallen apart, Alice and Jasper left, now I wasn't just a body in the house, I wasn't there at all… Perhaps I should call Carlisle and tell him myself. Or perhaps it would be easier to just leave that life behind me… what life?

The door opened again, it was Marcus, my fellow soulless monster. He handed me a set of cloths.

The cloths of The Guard… Heidi will be here in just a few moments, now. You are to come feed with us. It is your initiation Aro will hand pick your meal and present them to you. You must feed on them or Aro will have your family killed. It will be over your head always… I am sorry.

I didn't understand his apology…

It was my suggestion. I didn't know what you had lost, please forgive me. My lips tightened, realizing that it was more than likely my self revulsion would increase exponentially, so I should be kind while I still could manage.

"Your idea saved my family, there is nothing to forgive, and I've only you to thank." he left me to change and I did so, walking out Marcus walked with me in silence… his mind was quiet. It would have been nice if not for the self hatred that occasionally flitted through his mind.

We walked in just before Heidi and her "catches". Aro said one word, and it became an orderly chaos. The fresh blood smell hit me and I groaned in a fitful pain only needing freesia to be completed. But I did not feed as Marcus had advised. I just watched in disgust, this is what I was to become.

Then the chaos ended leaving two humans who were too horrified to think coherently. All I could hear were the terrified mental screams of my coming meal.

"Welcome to our world son." I wanted to growl his at being referred to as son… I was Carlisle's, but I guess that didn't matter at this point. Aro backed away from the humans as the entire guard watched the "vegetarian" take a "normal" meal. One was male, mid twenties, the other was female early thirties… it could have been worse. I snapped the female's neck first, then the male's neck. Painless.

And I drank, and I drank, and I drank… all the while Bella sat at my side comforting me, rubbing my back, encouraging me, telling me that everything was all right… but she wasn't real, she was dead, and when a vampire hallucinates… nothing remotely good can come of that.


AN: I warned you… this is going to start off dark.