Chapter Notes:

So, Edward and Carlisle are on their way, Seth and Paul are probably gnawing on chair legs at the moment because their lunches never showed up, Leah is freaking out and Luke...well, he's a little preoccupied with not dying at the moment. Oh, and that grumpy receptionist just realized her cat figurine is missing and she's out for blood (no pun intended).

Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter, read up kiddies!

Twilight is not mine, I would like to say it was, but Stephanie Meyers is the all mighty creator. Seriously, I think she might have started a new religion-we don't have actual churches yet, but we're getting there.


Chapter song: Not Good Enough for Truth in Cliche by Escape the Fate

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,

Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,

Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,

This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

I snapped my phone shut and mourned the loss of its distraction. As soon as my conversation with Edward ended, I was forced to face the overwhelming catastrophe that was happening just behind the thin shield of that damn blue curtain. There was nothing I could do; I didn't know anything about medicine and I would just distract the professionals if I tried to get inside the curtain to be by Luke's side.

I paced back and forth in a trance, if it wasn't for the fact that I could see the tiled floor passing beneath my feet I probably wouldn't have even realized I was moving. This was all my fault-I never should have kissed him-now he was in pain. Of course he had been in pain even before the kiss, but this didn't stop me from blaming myself. For him, I would take all the blame in the world, I would take all the pain in the world if I could. I would take his place in that hospital bed without a second of hesitation. Anything for him, anything to save him, and even though it was against everything I stood for, I would even turn to the Cullen's to do it.

I guess I should have been surprised at my sudden change in attitude, but I couldn't seem to find room in my thoughts to fit indecision. I hated vampires, they were the reason my life was the way it was, they were the reason I was so unhappy. But they were the reason for Luke.

I had no reason for my hatred anymore; before I hated them because they took away the most important thing in my life, but now they replaced it with something so much more. If they did not exist, then I would be with Sam, but even though I would have given anything to make that happen a mere hour ago...now it wasn't enough. Now that I had seen Luke, I had smelled Luke, I had tasted Luke, I could never imagine going back to Sam. It was like I had been living on hamburgers my entire life; I loved them because I didn't know any better, but then someone had tossed me a steak and I could never go back to loving hamburgers the same way again.

Oh my god...I'm comparing Luke and Sam to food...that's weird right? Yeah that's weird.

I realized that my pocket was vibrating after some amount of time. I looked down at the small screen and realized I had missed four calls from Seth. Crap, I had forgotten about Seth, he was probably worried about me, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Seth was healthy and whole; Luke was not. It was clear that I was needed here, so Seth would have to wait.

As this thought flitted through my head I realized that this was something that had never happened since Seth was born. I never kept Seth waiting, not when he truly needed something, since the day my brother had entered this world he had been the most important thing in my life. Even when I had been with Sam. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for Seth-I would cross the ocean if it would make him happy, or fight a million leeches to protect him-and that hadn't changed. The only difference was that now there was someone else that I felt that way about. Seth was now a second priority.

As if my thoughts had called out to my brother on some subconscious level, I heard his wildly thumping heart racing towards me before I saw his head appear in the doorway. He sighed in relief and gave me a disapproving glare.

"There you are Leah!" he chastised, "I'v been looking everywhere for you! It's a good thing I know your scent so well or I would have never found you here. Why didn't you come back with the food? Paul's practically chewing the leather off the seats in the waiting room."

"Seth-"

I was cut off by the appearance of the tiny, angry nurse that had brushed passed me in the hall.

"Miss, you need to tell us what you were doing in here before this happened," she gestured seriously towards Luke's bed.

"Oh, uh...I-I'm a friend of Luke's and I was visiting him," I lied nervously. I don't think she bought it.

"Anything else?" she prompted eyeing me suspiciously.

"Well..." I paused and debated whether or not to tell her about the kiss. It was embarrassing to talk about it with Seth here, but on the other hand it could help Luke if the doctors knew exactly what had caused his episode. Eventually my concern for Luke won the battle.

"He asked me to kiss him, so I did, and then he just started coughing and he wouldn't stop," I explained desperately as I cringed at the disturbing memory of his uncontrollable fit.

I felt Seth stiffen at my side and turn his head to stare at me in disbelief, I ignored him.

I mean seriously, give me a break, just because I'm your sister doesn't mean I'm asexual...

The nurse gave me a searching glare, "well, I wouldn't suggest doing that again and I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave for today. Visiting hours are over."

I nodded, grabbed Seth by the arm and towed him out the door. It pained me to leave Luke, like I was leaving a piece of me behind, but I would be able to come back later. Besides, if I resisted I would probably be banned from the hospital.

"What the hell Leah!" Seth slapped my hand away and turned to me fiercely once we were a significant distance away from the room, "You don't know that guy! Why were you kissing him?!"

I gaped at him for a few seconds and then decided that it would be easier to just come out with it, "Seth...I imprinted."

Just as I expected, he was speechless, his mouth hung open and his eyes were so wide it was almost comical. I could have sworn I heard his mind exploding inside his skull. I sighed and pulled him into a storage closet to our left, it was roomier than I had imagined and Seth was able to comfortably collapse on the floor.

"Fuck...holy...fuck," was all he was able to mumble.

"Seth, you're like four, don't say fuck. That word is for big boys only," I scolded.

"I'll say what I want," he snapped and wrapped his arms around his knees as he shook his head from side to side in disbelief.

"It's not that big of a deal," I knelt down beside him and tried to bring him back to reality, "I mean Jake, Quil, Paul, they all did it. Even Sam."

At the mention of Sam's name his head snapped up and I could tell that his mind had finally recovered, "Leah, don't try and tell me this isn't a big deal! I'm not blind, I can read, that guy was terminal!"

"What are you talking about Seth," I hissed and tried to play dumb, but I was positive that he had heard the panic in my voice.

"Leah," he said condescendingly, "that ward we just came from was the cancer ward and there was a DNR sticker on his door. He's dying Leah, and death...death is a big deal."

He looked away from me and his eyes grew dark and sad as we both took a moment to remember our father. If Seth missed him even a fraction as much as I missed him, then it was enough to bring him close to tears. My father-our father-had died. When he left he took a piece of my heart with him, never to be replaced, only to be healed over with time. Scarred.

My heart was damaged. Damaged by love, love for my father, love for Sam, always love. And here I was again, being held at gunpoint by the most wicked of all indulgences. I loved Luke and I could only imagine what he would take him when he left, if there would be anything left to scar when he was gone. It already felt as though he held half of my heart captive and I could only guess that the rest would follow him into the afterlife.

Seth wiped his nose with his sleeve as I slumped against the wall beside him, but I couldn't stand to look at him. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders. I had known Luke was dying since the moment I had seen it on his chart, heck he had even admitted he was dying, but hearing come from Seth's mouth somehow made it final.

"You've always been there for me, I don't know if I'll be able to get you through this, but I'll try...do you want to stay with him until he...until it happens?"

It took me a moment for me to realize what he was talking about and then it hit me. He was talking about Luke dying and suggesting that I just sit there and watch it happen! Oh hell no! Didn't he know me better than to think that I was actually going to let anything-even death-beat me at something?

"It's not going to happen."

"Leah," he murmured sympathetically as though I was in denial, "He's going to die."

"No he's not...I called Edward," I said stubbornly. Again I felt him stiffen by my side as he understood what I was willing to do. What I was planning to do...

"You can't do that it's against our laws!" he exclaimed.

"Edward turned Bella," I insisted.

I took a moment to explore the irony of my argument; I remembered that this simple statement was something that had once brought me close to explosion. The idea of a dirty stinkin vamp biting someone on our turf, not even just someone, it was one of our own. Bella had been to the rez, she had practically lived with us during her whole Victoria scare and not to mention that she and Jacob had been attached at the hip.

But then he came back and he took Bella away from us.

It wasn't that I missed Bella-we had never exactly been friends-but I knew the path she would choose as soon as soon as she came back from Italy hand-in-hand with her leech. I knew before even Jake knew. He was in denial, he thought he could make her change her mind. He thought he could keep her heart beating, but I knew he was wrong.

He told her once that he would rather see her dead than a see her become a vamp, and at the time I couldn't have agreed with him more, but now...now I disagreed. Jake had never imprinted on Bella, he had fallen in love, but not imprinted. His love was selfish, he wanted Bella for himself and he wanted her in the way that was best for him.

I-on the other hand-had imprinted. I no longer cared that vampires were my sworn enemies; the fact that asking Carlisle to save Luke would make him one of them, did not matter. As long as Luke was still breathing-in a matter of speaking-anything else would be fine with me. I didn't care about loving him in the way that was best for me, I cared about loving him in the way that was best for him. And what was best for him was to keep him alive.

Looks like club Leech is gettin another member, I sighed to myself. Seth just groaned as he recognized my "I'm determined to do this" face.

"Even if Edward did change Bella that's hardly an excuse for what you're doing. With Bella it was different because she wanted it to happen, it was the only way to save her, but this guy doesn't know what it will be like. He doesn't even know things like us exist! You can't just go and change him. Sam will never allow it...it'll start a war."

I snapped my head and gave him a murderous stare, "If Sam hadn't left me this never would have happened Seth, this is partly his fault. He broke my heart, he doesn't get to decide how I put it back together. He doesn't get to decide anything about my life anymore."

Seth took me by both my shoulders and stared into my eyes, "It's not just about you! What if he doesn't want to be turned? What about all the people that will be in danger when he's a newborn?"

"I-I'll tell him, I'll give him the choice, and if he is changed...then I'll take care of it, he'll be my responsibility."

"He could kill you!" he practically shouted.

"I don't care," I said robotically. My life no longer held any meaning without him; I would sacrifice everything to make sure that he simply existed. Even if it was only a vague, sorry excuse for an existence that I could offer him.

"Well I care!" he scoffed, "What about me and mom? He's probably ready to die Leah-he's prepared-but we're not prepared to lose you, I'm not prepared to lose you...I love you too much."

"I know Seth, I know, but he's not ready to die!" I sniffed as tears threatened to spill down my cheeks once again, "He doesn't think there is anything waiting for him after! I can't let him die when he thinks that it ends right then and there! I can't let him die when he thinks that his life was all just some cruel, pointless game...I can't."

If there was one thing that made my decision to try and change Luke final, it was this. Some people saw death as the beginning of a new journey, but Luke literally saw a dead end. I could not allow him to die when he had no hope for something more, I could not allow him to die period.

I looked over at Seth, but his face was unreadable. His expression was blank and his eyes refused to meet mine, all he needed was time. I hoped all he needed was time.

My phone was buzzing again and Edward's name lit up the screen. Wow that was fast, they must have run here. I had forgotten that they were almost as fast as we were.

"Are you here?" I asked into the receiver as I pulled myself to my feet and exited the closet in an attempt to get better reception.

"Yes, where are you? Are you okay?" his smooth, but urgent voice responded.

"Follow the green signs and take the green elevator to the fourth floor," I instructed since I knew that telling him I was by a storage closet somewhere near the cancer ward was not exactly helpful.

"Are you okay?" he repeated firmly, "Is Seth okay?"

"We're fine," I lied hastily and tried not to think any contradictory thoughts seeing as I didn't know if he could hear my mind over the phone or not, "and there are a lot of bleeding people here, so no stopping for a snack, got it leech?"

He chuckled weakly and I heard the line go dead. Even I couldn't bring myself to show any enthusiasm at my little joke as I grabbed Seth from the floor and walked back towards the maternity ward.

As we reentered the waiting room adjacent to the green elevators, Edward and Carlisle stepped out looking thoroughly confused. I had never been so happy to see them in my life; thank god it was cloudy outside today...

I tried to keep my thoughts away from Luke, I wanted to explain the situation to them carefully instead of having Edward find out everything at once and start freaking out. I decided to think about Rachel and her babies and babies in general, which wasn't hard seeing as I was surrounded by diapers and pictures of teddy bears.

"Leah, are you...are you pregnant?" Edward gasped as he read my mind. It was a good thing I was holding on to Seth or he probably would have fallen face first to the ground.

"Seth, get a grip," I rolled my eyes and then glared at Edward, "and no I am not pregnant! Where would I even get pregnant? Constantly patrolling around your stupid house doesn't exactly leave me much time for a social life you know."

"Well, what would you have me think when all I can see are packages of Pampers and baby formula going through your head?" he spat back and crossed his arms.

"I was obviously trying to keep you outta my head so that I can have a normal, two-sided conversation with you," I sneered back, "do you know how annoying it is having someone know what you're going to say before you say it? So, for once you're just going to have to be in the dark, suck it up!"

His eyes burned black and he stepped angrily towards me as though he was going to start shouting, but doctor leech intervened and must have calmed him down with his thoughts.

"Leah, is there something you would like to tell us, like perhaps why you've called us here?" he asked in a calm, gentle tone.

"Yes," I said stubbornly while still glaring at Edward.

"Why don't we go somewhere a little more private then," he suggested and gestured towards a hospital room that he must have sensed as being vacant.

I nodded and followed him and Edward into the room, closing the door behind me. Seth collapsed into a chair and started muttering to himself, Billy and Paul must have been with Rachel.

Poor kid, he really is gonna need therapy after all this shit, I thought. Edward gave me an exhausted look.

Hey, Jasper wouldn't happen to have a PhD in psychology would he? I mean, he's so touchy feely, he might as well be Dr. Phil anyway, I asked as I turned to face him.

"Jasper hates Dr. Phil," Edward smirked despite his attempts to remain perpetually moody.

"What! How can he hate Dr. Phil?"


End Notes:

So there you have it folks, if you thought Juliet had it rough, then just think of poor Leah.

Please review!!! Unlike Leah, I am not above begging, so (puts on sad face) tickety-tap on your key board and write a word or two.

Oh, and keep reading, I hope you like it so far!