Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or Magic Kaitou or any of the characters. All of them belong to Goshou Aoyama. I do, however, own the OCs and plotlines used in this fic.
A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers, and extremely special thanks to Cadmium Poisoning. I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, OMG, I love you! You gave me exactly what I wanted in a critique. I was so excited I was practically bouncing in my seat as I read it for the first time (which earned quite a few stares seeing as it was during class). Anyway, I'd mostly written out this chapter by the time your review popped up, but after I read it (about fifty times because I loved it so much), I went back a rewrote a bunch of it. So, now this chapter is longer and has more details. I hope you like it.
Chapter 3
It was a peaceful afternoon, and Kaitou was accompanying Aoko on a stroll through some park. The day had been fairly uneventful except for Kaitou taking revenge on his poor teacher by dying his hair a bright, neon pink. It was some pretty good hair die too, so the pink would take at the very least six weeks to fade completely. But no one could really fault Kaitou being angry. Really, who wants a pop quiz on a Monday morning?
Anyway, he and Aoko were having yet another laugh at their teacher's expense when his cell phone began ringing. Instantly, Kaitou answered it, and a look of annoyed frustration crossed onto Aoko's face.
"Hello," Kaitou said. "Are you ok? -pause- What happened? -long pause- Oh… -longer pause- Where are you? -very short pause- I'll be right there!"
"Where do you think you're going?!" cried an outraged Aoko. Her eyes were leaking angry tears, and just for good measure, she had pulled out her infamous stuffed fish. "For the past two months, you haven't spent anytime with anyone outside of school. All you do is talk to that one person on the phone, and almost every time, you just rush off to meet him! You promised to spend the afternoon with me today! Is he more important to you than I am? Even when he's just using you?"
From her point of view, this is how things really seemed, very unfair. After Kaitou's admission that one day, she had naturally expected to see him less, but she hadn't expected to see him not at all. It seemed, to her, like Kaitou had given up his whole personal life for some other person, and this person was going to keep taking advantage of Kaitou's kindness forever.
"I'm sorry, Aoko, really I am," Kaitou replied in the most apologetic tone he could muster while being threatened by his worst fear. His hands were held up in a lame attempt to shield himself from the fish. "It's not like that. He just really needs me right now. That's all, honest. He's not using me either, I volunteered."
"Then, at least let me come with you," Aoko said, deflating just a bit. She didn't care how they spent time together; she just wanted to be with Kaitou. After all, she was starting to really miss her childhood friend. "Maybe I can help."
"No offense, but that's a really bad idea," Kaitou commented. "Remember that girl I mentioned, who died protecting him? You look a lot like her."
"Fine, whatever, ok, just go," Aoko sighed in resignation; she knew Kaitou wouldn't make up a lie like that. So, the brown-haired girl just turned around to head home, and Kaitou had taken off as fast as his legs would carry him the second she'd consented.
Conan had stayed home that day, because he wasn't feeling at all well. After his first talk with Kaitou, he'd started to go out on weekends with the Shounen Tanteidan again. However, he wasn't really all there. He'd just follow them around like a shadow or a doll, not saying anything or contributing; he was just there. Slowly, he'd started to smile around them again or laugh just a bit, but they weren't real smiles, and the laughs were fairly forced. Predictably, the corpses began piling up around him again, and Conan had solved thirteen cases in the last eight weeks.
Unfortunately, the most recent one had hit way too close to home. Coupled with the other things eating away at him, it had just been too much. Everything he'd been bottling up just burst, and he just sort of snapped back into almost the exact same state he'd been in when Ran died. That's why he'd been unable to muster the energy to go to school and why he'd called Kid. But he waited until afternoon to all, because he was taking enough time away from the thief's personal life already; he didn't need to pull him out of school as well, no matter how much he'd wanted to. Anyway, this is how the phone conversation had gone.
"Hello. Are you ok?"
"No."
"What happened?"
30 seconds of silence. "There was another murder…the victim…a high school girl."
"Oh"
45 seconds of silence. "Please come. I need to see you."
"Where are you?"
Instant answer. "My library."
Instant response. "I'll be right there."
That call had taken place some time ago, and Conan was still anxiously waiting for the thief's arrival. He had even opened the window as invitation, because Kid never came through the front door. The seconds seemed to stretch on forever as Conan tried to keep himself together until the thief arrived.
"Tantei-kun?" The voice startled him, seeming to come out of nowhere. He turned around to see a boy in jeans and a white silk shirt with spiky blonde hair and a face that looked similar to Inspector Satou's. Kid always showed up in some sort of disguise, but Conan was always able to tell it was him because of a certain feeling he got.
Kaitou frowned as he took in Conan's appearance; it was almost like going back it time to two months ago. Conan had dark bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, and his hair needed a good brushing. The young detective wasn't thin from lack of appetite, but he was paler than normal. His eyes weren't hollow either, but expressed great depression. This, more than anything, confused Kaitou. He thought his Tantei-kun had been getting better. What could have happened in the two days since he'd last seen him to cause such a regression?
Either way, Conan was unable to hold out any longer, jumped straight into Kid's arms, and began sobbing silently into his shirt. Holding him gently in one arm and stroking comforting circles on his back with his fee hand, Kaitou walked over to one of the many plush chairs and sat down. Again, like every other time, the shrunken detective cried until he had no more tears and hours had passed. It was about 7:00 at night when Conan was finally cried out.
Something Kaitou would never, ever tell the other boy was how much Conan's pain affected him. Only his perfected poker face had allowed Kid to keep exactly how much anguish he felt from showing in his expression. Seeing someone you love die is very, very painful. But seeing the one you love in that much pain causes the same amount of agonizing torture, just a different kind.
"So, how has school been for you lately?" Kaitou asked, knowing from experience that he had to speak first for any kind of conversation to start between them. And Conan always seemed to feel at least a little better after talking a bit.
"Rough," Conan answered in a heavy tone. "My friends treat me normally, like nothing ever really happened. I think they want me to forget. But of course everyone's curious, and the most outrageous rumors have been circulating around school for awhile. Since very few people are as considerate as my classmates, I'm questioned by other students about what happened every morning before school and every afternoon when school's over. I stay inside during recess and lunch more than I ever have before, which is hard when I get a serious urge to go juggle a soccer ball."
"Then, do you want to go out and kick around a soccer ball right now?" Kaitou asked in a playful tone, nodding toward the window. Though, when Conan looked to see what was so funny, he lightly punched Kid in the arm.
"Kid, it's started raining out there, quite heavily might I add," Conan's expression morphing into an annoyed scowl.
"So?" Kid asked, raising an amused eyebrow. And that was all it took; this was why Conan needed Kaitou so much. One stupid comment from the thief, and the shrunken detective could manage a real smile and laugh. He could feel relaxed and safe again, safe enough to confide in someone else.
"She was also shot by mistake, in the forehead no less," Conan said, all traces of humor gone as he recalled the previous night's case. He was clutching at the white silk shirt harder than ever. "Her family was horrified, but at least they have each other. You know, she had a little sister. Ayumi and Haibara were planning on going to her house today after school." Silence stretched between them for a while, Conan remaining silent, and the thief waiting for information that wasn't coming.
"Good for them," Kid's frown was back. "Are you going to tell me the rest of it? This is the third dead high school girl, and you seem twice as depressed by this one than the first one, why?"
"I've been thinking about a lot of new things lately," Conan answered after another few minutes of tense silence, turning to look away from Kaitou and out the large window. "I think I'm going crazy, and I'm not sure how long I can handle the pressure this time. She was always the reason I tried so hard before. But everything good that would come with regaining my former self died with Ran."
"Again with the half-truths," Kid said in just a slightly frustrated tone. "How am I supposed to help you move on or try to understand exactly what you're going through when you won't even tell me the truth? If you were talking to someone else besides me, I'd understand. But you're so closed off now that you couldn't have had a decent heart to heart with anyone else. I'm worried about you."
Again, he was hesitating again. But really, how was he supposed to explain this? Kid was right, though. He always seemed to sense things like that so easily. It was at this point that exactly how much Conan had really wished that girl had given him better advice when they talked really hit home.
*Flashback - Set approximately 5 ½ weeks after Kid's and Conan's first talk*
"Haibara, can we talk?"
Those four words startled the shrunken brown-haired scientist so much that she'd nearly jumped up in surprise. Turning away from the computer where she was working, Ai saw a confused looking Kudo standing in the doorway to her laboratory. Now that she herself was any less confused. Raising an eyebrow, she jumped off her stool and invited him into the room. Once they were both seated comfortably on the couch, Ai prompted him to speak by saying, "I'm assuming this conversation is something Kaitou Kid-related or you'd be talking with him."
"Yeah…wait, am I really that bad?" Conan asked, wondering exactly how isolated he had become without noticing. There was much more life in his voice than Ai had ever hoped to hear there again. Although she would never show it or speak of it, she had come to care about the shrunken detective as a brother and was really relieved to see him looking better, more alive.
"Not really," she had answered with a small, sincere smile. "I just sensed that this is something new, and before now, he's always been the first one you speak too."
"Well," Conan returned that smile with a little half-smile of his own. He was also squirming uncomfortably, as though he was about the reveal something he almost thought he shouldn't. "I think I've started to lov-like him, the way I loved Ran, just not that much yet. My heart speeds up, and my stomach feels funny when I think of that stupid, over-confident smirk or those rare, sweet smiles. And thank god he hasn't noticed how I blush whenever he squeezes my hand tightly every time he leaves. It's just so confusing, because I only ever really liked Ran, and this is so different yet somehow the same."
"It's quite understandable that you're feeling these emotions," Ai commented in a very professional tone. "Ran left a huge void in your heart when she died, and Kid seems to be refilling it to quite an extent. He also knows your most deeply hidden secrets, and you've come to trust him. In effect, you have a closer, more open bond with him than you ever did with Ran."
"Thanks so much for sounding like an actual psychiatrist," Conan said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, and Ai giggled for a moment at his tone. "But what am I supposed to do? For one, I have the body of a seven-year-old. Two, he's probably straight as a board. Three, technically speaking, we're not even supposed to be friends, let alone have a romantic relationship. Come on, a thief and a detective? Four-" he was cut off by Ai's hand covering his mouth.
"You're babbling," she told him. "Whatever happens in the future, that decision is to be made between you and him." Her tone had made it abundantly clear that, even though Conan had other things he wanted to ask, the conversation was over. He sighed and stared at her with pleading eyes for a little while longer, but eventually he gave up. Just as he was about to leave, Ai placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "I'm sorry, Kudo, really I am. This just isn't something I can help you with. You really need to talk with Kaitou Kid about this, ok?"
*Flashback End*
And therein lied Conan's biggest problem and worry. He knew that Kaitou Kid would be there as long as he needed him to get over Ran, but what about after? His feelings had grown quickly for the Moonlit Magician, and there was no doubt that he now loved the phantom thief. Conan also knew that these were not rebound feelings, that this love was as permanent as the love he had for Ran. Unlike with Ran though, he had absolutely no claim on Kaitou Kid or his feelings. No certainties of their future together, or in this case, lack thereof.
A/N: And here's the end of Chapter 3. I think I'm going to drive myself crazy with this fan fiction. I just want to make them confess their feelings for each other and be all happy, but that just wouldn't work. Conan's not the type to just blurt out his feelings; we all know that. I mean, he never said anything during the series to Ran, not once, even after the movie confession! And Kaitou's not the type to confess his own feelings when one, Conan's getting over his dead girlfriend, and two, he doesn't think Conan would be interested in the first place! GAH! I am going to get these two together; that's the whole point of this fic! Okay, enough of my own little rant. Sorry about that. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. And I've been wondering, do I use too much dialogue in my fics?
Moving right along, is it better than the first couple chapters? Is it worse? Am I just a horrible writer when I get really excited about someone critiquing my work? And following is the usual.
I love reviewers, but I do have a request. I would really love for someone to seriously critique my work. It doesn't have to stop at constructive criticism. I'd love for someone to really pick apart my work and tell me every little thing they hated, what needs to be improved, and what parts of my writing they liked best. Believe me when I say I love all reviews, and it's really nice to know people appreciate my work. However, I'm a far cry from being perfect, and there's always room to improve. Also, if I can get better, I can give better fan fiction to my readers. Anyway, thanks again for reading this fan fiction and hopefully you seriously considered my request.
