For Disclaimers see ch. 1
Conqueror and Amazon: Towards a new life
by romansilence
Chapter Four: Preparations
Dawn now was near enough not to startle the guards, and so Melosa decided to go for a run with Xena. Solari, the captain of the royal guard, gave her a hard time when she first included the slave in this part of her drills but finally she gave in. Her captain still was limping from the sword thrust in her left thigh she'd received during the battle, so she wasn't able to follow them herself, but she at least tried to monitor their steps by making sure to have members of the royal guard posted throughout the trail on a more or less regular basis. Melosa changed into her running leathers and opened the door to Xena's room.
Two candlemarks later before going off to her own duties Melosa revoked the order not to interact with the other women and assigned Xena to sort through all the stuff Najara left in the hut and to bundle up the personal belongings of Thania.
As every morning Xena brought a breakfast tray to the healer's hut and set about to exercise Gabrielle's limbs. She didn't want the muscles to wane away from lack of use, so she made her to contract them as far as possible, even the right leg which reduced the blonde woman to tears every time but it had to be done.
"You're doing fine, Gab. Just one more time, yeah, that's it. Good, now go back to sleep. You look tired. Didn't you take the sleeping tea Anara prepared for you?"
"It's all right, Xena. I drank the tea but Thania was having nightmares. Perhaps you should give her some of this stuff too."
"Sorry, baby, but I can't. The nightmares are one of the ways her mind is dealing with what happened to her. If we stop them now she never will be able to live a normal life again. It will help if you try to talk to her or better get her to talk."
The sudden undeniable fear crossing Gabrielle's eyes made her to turn her head away. Xena's hand gently steadied her chin. "Talk to me, love."
"I can't get my mind off what happened to her, Xe. She's just a kid. No one should hurt a child like this; no one should ever hurt a child. What does one gain by doing such things, by abusing and ill-treating and humiliating." There now were tears in the beautiful sea green eyes, and Xena lovingly held her tight. "It hurts to think about it, Xe, and I…."
"I know love, you can't help remembering. Whatever one can say to try to explain why this woman and others of her kind did what she did, their reasons or explanations aren't important. What's important is that it's wrong, and that they have to be stopped. I'm sorry you had to live through this nightmare, love, and I know it hurts badly and it will for a long time to come. But I also know that you're strong, love. I know you can do it. Try to think of something nice when the memories get too much for you. I know you'll be fine, Gabrielle. I just wish you wouldn't have to go through all of this without me. I wish I could spend my days talking to you and looking in your enticing eyes. I wish I could spend my nights easing your pain. I'm sorry that I can't be there for you all the time."
"I love you, Xena. You know, Queen Melosa and I, we talk, a lot. I can ask her to let you stay in here. I'm sure…."
A long finger immediately was on her lips. "Please don't, Gab. The Queen's already more than bending the rules on my behalf, by letting me be here with you at all, giving me the freedom to come and go. When the trial begins she will have to answer the jury about my behaviour. I don't want to make this any harder on her than it already is. I'll be all right, love."
-x-x-x-x-
Xena was about to leave the infirmary when she heard the faint sound of a blanket being slowly pulled away and in her peripheral vision she saw Thania trying to get out of bed. She turned around and cast her an inquisitive glance.
"Thania, do you need something? Can I help you?"
The girl looked at her and then sighed. "I don't want to be a burden. Your mate is suffering because of me. I'm not worth suffering for. I'll go back to my Mistress."
"You're wrong, Thania." The blonde woman answered. "What you're trying to do right now proves that you would be worth suffering for. But you didn't cause my pain. My heart is bleeding for what was done to you and this is reawakening some really bad memories. It's not your fault. It's nobodies fault, really."
The young Amazon tentatively smiled at her while Xena once again tucked her in. "Najara left the village, Thania, didn't the Queen tell you? She won't hurt you ever again. She's gone."
"So, it's really true?"
"Yes, it's true, little one."
"And it's true that I will be the Queen's apprentice?"
"Yes, it's true."
"And that I will be allowed to wear the Queen's collar?"
"Yes, Thania, it's all true. All you have to do is to get well soon, then the Queen will teach you how to be a true Amazon warrior. Don't you worry!"
"It's true."
The face of the girl held a look of utter wonder that quickly disappeared when she heard Anara's voice obviously trying to calm down another woman drifting through the open windows.
"Xena, please wait. The healer said she would check on me when she comes back. I'd rather you do it."
"Anara is a very good healer, but if it makes you feel better, I'll do it, little one."
"There you go, Thania. You won't have to stay in here very long. The younger one is the faster their bodies are healing. You'll be up in less than eight days. Gabrielle has some scrolls from the library to pass the day, I'm pretty sure we can find something nice to read for you too."
"I'm not very good at reading, Mis… she always told me that fighting was more important and reading only means wasting precious time. She caned my back when she caught me reading the last time."
"So she didn't tell you that a good warrior not only uses her body when fighting but also her brains. Sometimes, when your opponents are much stronger or you're outnumbered you simply have to be smarter than they are. And the brain, your mind is a weapon that has to be well maintained and trained to be on top. I know the Queen never will punish you for reading or for asking questions."
"Did she punish you? I asked her not to."
"Yes, she did. She had to, little one. I know she didn't like it. Try to see it this way: As an apprentice, it is your duty to learn, and as long as I'm a slave it's my duty to obey, and the Queen being my Mistress has the obligation to punish me if I don't. Punishment isn't meant to subdue people selfishly. It's a sign that you did something wrong and that you're ready to take responsibility for what you've done. Do you remember the stories they told you about Artemis' childhood?" The girl nodded. "Do you remember the story when she and Apollo played some nasty tricks on mortal children, some very nasty tricks?"
"Yes, they were living with her grandmother Gaia and she spanked them and they were forced to live as mortals for a whole season. It is said, that Apollo didn't like it one bit but Artemis came to live with the Amazons and that's one of the reasons why she now is protecting us. One of the pictures in the temple tells this story. So, sometimes there are good things coming from punishment."
"Yes, little one. So, you see, the Queen had no other choice. It hardly hurt, I swear. I have to go now but I'll be back with some lunch for you too."
-x-x-x-x-
When Xena finally arrived at Najara's former hut, she found the weapons' master in the main room trashing the table with the remnants of a chair. Chains and whips and canes, a leather harness, several dildos, and lots of similar stuff were scattered on the floor. Eponin's eyes were red rimmed with unshed tears and she was breathing heavily.
"We should go for a walk, weapons' master. There's a small clearing about half a candlemark south. Queen Melosa told me it's rarely frequented. How about a sparring session? I'm not allowed to weapons but we could do some wrestling or hand to hand. You need to spend all this pent-up anger and energy."
To Xena's surprise the Amazon warrior didn't argue, she shrugged her shoulders and followed the taller woman. Eponin had lots of energy to spend, and both women soon were covered with sweat. Xena was late for lunch.
It took her the rest of the day to restore the hut to a semblance of order. She burnt the canes, whips and other toys along with the destroyed furniture, two blood stained mattresses, a worn out blanket, and some linen shifts. The belongings of Thania consisted basically of two partially torn sets of leathers and three sleeping shifts. She scrubbed the floor and the walls, and finally placed a brazier in the middle of the room scented with spices and herbs. All the other blankets and sheets were bundled together, and re-transferred to the village's storage hut.
She found the scroll in the bedroom, and what it said was more than enough to unsettle her completely. Until then, she had been able to keep her temper at bay, together with her memories, but now… Now she could use a good workout, a hard workout, or better a really good fight. The scroll was squeezed between the bed and the wall, and it detailed every punishment inflicted upon the girl during the last two moons, every whipping, every thrust with the leather phallus, everything.
Xena was boiling with white-hot fury, and it took all of her will power not to wreck the whole place completely but she had to do something. The last time she did feel so angrily helpless was when she'd found Gabrielle. She had literally reduced the whole barn to ruins and not even Palemon had dared to come near her during this bout of frenzy. Her hands were shaking, her head was spinning, and all she could think about was the pain and anguish the young Amazon had had to endure, and now she understood Gabrielle's feelings.
Her feet found the way to the barn, after dropping the scroll on Melosa's desk; brushing down Argo probably would help to calm her down because a slave running rampant around the village really wouldn't do. But when she breathed in the scent of hay she knew it was a futile attempt. It was all too familiar. Xena snapped.
A rock pillar about two feet thick held the main structure of the barn. She attacked it with her bare hands, pounding against it until her fists were thick with blood, and then she knelt on the floor silent tears running down her cheeks. Xena wept – for the third time in more than fourteen years.
-x-x-x-x-
When she finally regained some self control it was well after dark but instead of paying her daily visit to the temple or saying good-night to Gabrielle she now began in earnest to brush down her golden mare, after having wrapped her bleeding knuckles with a make-shift bandage. The moon was already half ways through its journey when she opened the door to the Queen's hut. It was empty but on the desk was a piece of parchment, it said:
Xena,
I will spend the night with a friend.
You will find the keys for your night restraints on top of the chest in your room. Suit yourself.
We'll talk tomorrow.
Melosa
Xena was unable to sleep not only because her hands were badly hurting, every time she closed her eyes she saw the battered body of the young Amazon and the fear in her hazel eyes; she saw the words on the scroll offering more details than she could ever have bargained for, the painful memory of the first look at Gabrielle, and all of the rage and anger and fury these slavers had sent her in resurfaced. She saw the piercing coldness of Najara's eyes. And she saw all the horrible and heartless things she had done herself over the years. The baby boy crying in the arms of his dead mother, murdered by her fault. The look of sadness and disappointment in.. No, she couldn't stand it, but this time her sense of guilt and responsibility were far stronger than the urge to beat someone up.
She undid the chain confining her to her room and slipped through the window. Avoiding the guards proved barely challenging and she soon arrived at the temple. It was empty. The greater part of the Amazons had their own statues to worship their patron goddess; there even was a small one in Melosa's hut near the fireplace. So the temple only was frequented during festivals and other celebrations.
Every Amazon village had its own Artemis' temple, of course. The Goddess of the hunt and the moon long ago had made the Amazons 'her' people, it was she that kept them strong, gave them their laws and customs, taught them how to live from the land, and blessed their joinings. This particular temple was larger than average, its marble structure shining through the forest trees, disguised only by the tree matching green of the roof. A row of columns protected the entrance, large windows near the ceiling afforded constant illumination and the walls were adorned with picture stories about Artemis' life and youth. Xena bowed shortly in front of the marble statue of the Huntress, and circled to the back. There she lowered herself on her right knee, she opened the double door of a small compartment in the lower half of the statue and lit two small candles.
There was a small statue made of polished wood. It was the statue of a woman with broad hips and an ample chest, her face missed the clear lines of the Greek gods but as always Xena was utterly convinced that it must be the most beautiful face she'd ever seen. The tall warrior placed her hands on her upraised left knee and began her prayer. It was a long prayer, much longer than usual, and for the first time since she had left the palace of Corinth she allowed herself to get lost in prayer. Letting her guard down this far was something she didn't feel comfortable with, this night however she just couldn't help it.
-x-x-x-x-
About two candlemarks later she was back in the village. She knew sleep still wasn't an option and so she sat down in front of the fireplace to manufacture an apprentice's collar for Thania. Nowadays the collars usually were used at festivals of sorts only but she had a feeling the young Amazon would wear it daily, and with pride.
There was a small basket of leather straps and thongs, many-coloured guts and needles she could use. Xena cut out a strap of deerskin that would serve as a base and lined it in with even softer leather. Every movement of her fingers sending a short stab of pain from her abused knuckles to her brain, and she found herself unexplainably grounded by the sensation. She even found a buckle to close it in the back of the neck because in contrast to a slave collar the apprentice collars could be opened every time thus indicating that the apprenticeship was voluntary. The adornments would be more difficult. Tradition demanded a four-tailed braid and the personal symbol of the mistress as well as tribe markings. With every step of the training the mistress would add a bead. But first things first.
She decided on two braids on either side of the throat, every tail another colour, every colour symbolising one of the qualities any Amazon should possess: courage, faith, loyalty, and prudence. The braid on the right side was meant to be rather flat, clearly presenting the different colours, while the thongs on the left one were designed to give a rope-like impression thus showing off the strength one gained by combing all these qualities.
The tribal markings in this case were easy: the outlines of a shield and a sword. One was sewed next to the flat braid with gut of a gleaming dark brown, and another next to the rope braid with a fine silvery gut. The night was at its darkest when Xena was ready to put on the Queen's symbol. Instead of turning to the official seal Melosa used for treaties, she chose her personal seal: a staff and an arrow intertwined crowned by the drawing of a squirrel. To emphasise its owner she used the royal green to stitch it on which was a shade darker than the green in the braids. By the time she was finished the first hints of dawn appeared but she found herself unwilling to move.
"No, don't, don't touch her, you promised…"
A slap on the left cheek broke her nightmare. Xena still was sitting on the bear rug in Melosa's hut, her back against the fire place, a blanket tucked around her and her front covered in sweat. She slowly took in her surroundings, the sun already was high, and the Queen was kneeling in front of her.
"You're all right now? Must have been a Hades of a dream, not like the others. If you're ready to talk about it, you're welcome."
"Thank you, Queen Melosa, but it's in the past, there's nothing to talk about. I'm sorry for causing such inconvenience."
"You didn't, now go to bed. Try to catch up on some sleep."
"Thank you, but the stone wall isn't finished yet, I'd rather go to work, – after the punishment I'm about to receive. I didn't spend the night chained to my bed as it should have been, Mistress."
"No, you didn't but my orders were deliberately unclear. 'Suit yourself' is not really an order. So, this time there will be no punishment. – I just had a meeting with the council and Anara…"
"Gabrielle's not able to walk around yet, not even with crutches but she's well enough to follow an all-day court session. She's healing faster than I ever would have thought possible and it's no longer dangerous to move her around. I suppose it will take about a quarter moon to get the dignitaries of the other villages here, it's the time for summer solstice. So it would be best to begin the trial right after the festival."
"That's the schedule the council agreed upon, Xena. They also agreed to cut the festival short a day. The elders see it as a sign of respect for your help with these soldiers."
Melosa wanted to tell her that she didn't want her to go through with the trial. She wanted her to grab Gabrielle and leave the village for good. The woman in her hut, the woman caring for others and obviously adoring the blonde was not her enemy, she was not the Conqueror, she didn't want her to die. But she didn't tell her; Xena never would act on it.
"Please pass by the healer's hut before going to work. Gabrielle is concerned about your absence this morning, and Thania still doesn't like to be touched by Anara."
Xena nodded and already had reached the door when she remembered the collar.
"It's beautiful, Xena. I never would have been able to make it myself. Thank you. You really have many skills. Thania will just love it. I'll give it to her after dinner, and I want you to be there when I do." The tall warrior turned and rapidly left the hut, and Melosa was sure that there was faint blush on her cheeks.
-x-x-x-x-
"No, my Queen, no. I would be more than honoured to take her defence but I won't be the procurator."
"I could make it an order, Ephiny."
"Please, Queen Melosa, don't do it. I don't want to be forced to disobey my Queen. After the battle, Xena saved my second mother's life, if not for her Solari would have died out of blood loss. I owe her, though she doesn't want to hear about it. It's hard to stand aside but I will not willingly contribute to her death. Please."
"Your request is granted, Ephiny. Try and save her life but Xena certainly won't make your job any easier."
"Thank you, my Queen. I don't think she will but perhaps her determination to get herself killed will be the best defence."
The young woman definitively knew the law, she was cunning and able to captivate and influence her audience. Melosa was glad Ephiny had volunteered for defence. But now she had to find a replacement. When dinnertime was nearing she still was empty-handed. Even the few survivors of the Northern Amazons simply refused to take this singular opportunity for revenge. So all she could do was sending a request to the neighbouring villages and hoping for the best.
-x-x-x-x-
Usually new apprentices were taken in at the harvest festival during fall solstice but the circumstances didn't allow waiting as long as this. There had been a heated debate in the council because in the past Queen Melosa as most of her predecessors shied away from the additional burden of having an apprentice. But finally, they had to concede to her wishes, and sent two representatives to witness the act of adoption. Eponin, Solari, and Akyra served as additional witnesses.
The Queen fastened the collar around Thania's neck and asked her if she was ready to accept her tutelage. A simple confirmation would have been enough but the young Amazon instead choose a form of commitment much older. She kissed the Queen's hands and cradled her face in the palms. Melosa kissed the top of her head and the council witnesses left the healer's hut.
"You know, you'll only have to wear the collar at festivals?"
"Yes, I know. Do I have to wait for your permission to wear it, Mistress?"
"Please use my name or my title, Thania, I'm not really comfortable with being called mistress. First of all I'm your teacher and when we get to know each other better I'll be happy to be your confident, your friend. And no, you don't need my permission; it's entirely up to you. But now I want you to take it off and tell me what you see."
The girl did as she was told. "It's smooth and soft and yet firm. It would be impossible to tear it apart easily. Is this how it is supposed to be, Queen Melosa?"
"Yes, Thania. The collar is meant to be solid to symbolise the connection between tutor and pupil and to symbolise the connection between an Amazon and her tribe. If it would be easy to tear it apart, its purpose would be invalidated. Why?"
There was a long candledrop of silence, and when Thania finally spoke her voice barely was audible. "Mis… She tore it apart every time she punished me. She said that I'm not worth wearing the collar as long as I didn't learn how to obey."
The Queen again was baffled but Xena somehow sensed the girl's need to be reassured. "No one, not even the gods can promise that Queen Melosa will never have to punish you. But if she has to, she will do it with care and love, not out of anger and frustration. The collar is a badge of honour, wear it with pride, and you can be sure the Queen also will be proud of you, little one. Soon you will be like this, a real Amazon."
Xena's fingers touched the rope like braid. "Yes, I'll work hard to be proud and independent, fierce and cruel."
"Amazons can be fierce warriors if need be, Thania, most of us would do anything to protect the nation, and in order to do this sometimes we also have to have the courage to be cruel but it's nothing you should strife to be." Eponin quietly said. "The colours stand for courage, faith, prudence, and loyalty."
"Courage is symbolised by the black tail to keep in mind that there's a difference between courage and foolishness." The Queen continued. "Green is the colour of the forest offering to us all we need to live. It stands for faith, and as much for faith in your own abilities as in the Goddess. The red one signifies prudence to remind every one that you probably will have to pay with your life's blood if you don't use your brain as well as your muscles. And the last one, the blue one, is the symbol of loyalty to your tribe, to your Nation and to your own heart. What else do you see?"
"The one in the middle is your personal symbol, my Queen. I know that staff and bow are your weapons. The ones on the left and the right are the tribe markings but I don't understand why they are of different colours?"
"We'll just have to ask Xena, she designed the collar."
"Brown is the colour of the earth and silver stands for the moon. Both colours symbolise the Nation's relation to its gods."
The Queen shot her slave an inquisitive look, as always amazed at the extent and depth of Xena's knowledge about Amazon customs and traditions. The tall warrior choose to ignore the unspoken question but Akyra who lingered against the wall found not only one of her suspicions confirmed by her words but also her resolve strengthened to take part in this trial in her own way. Her preparations were made; all she had to do now was to wait.
-x-x-x-x-
The stone wall bordering the training ground on three sides was more sturdy than ever when Xena finished her work at noon two days later, and Queen Melosa ordered her to take the rest of the day off. So, the lunch with Gabrielle and Thania was drawn out much longer than usual. When Solari came in and tried to bring Xena to speak with Ephiny about possible charges and a defence strategy the former Conqueror decided to make herself unavailable and go for a swim in the nearby river. She knew two members of the Royal guard followed her but it didn't bother her.
Xena chose a usually quiet spot she already had frequented more than once preferring the river to the communal bathing area in the village. She found it occupied by four Amazons handling fishing gear on either side of the river. They were so intensely wrapped in their task, Xena couldn't resist the temptation to try and stir them up a bit.
She backtracked about fifty paces where the river's bed was bending slightly and slid soundlessly in the water. She ducked under the surface and swam over. Hooking the lines together was almost too easy. Now she only had to get out of the water, take a front seat and wait. It didn't take long.
One of the women on the right riverbank felt a light tucking at her line, she cautiously pulled and found a lot of resistance. She increased her effort and was met with more resistance. Soon she was jerked into the water, taking her unsuspecting companions with her. At the other side, all of a sudden four women were thrown to the hard ground when their prey stopped its struggle and simply vanished. Xena couldn't help but laugh aloud at the sight of their faces reflecting anger, astonishment, disbelief, and amusement. The unfortunate four in the river decided they wouldn't be the only ones getting wet and attacked their colleagues now rubbing their sore buttocks. The anticipation of what without any doubt soon would follow made Xena laugh even harder.
Too soon, she heard the familiar footsteps of Queen Melosa nearing her vantage point. She knew one of her guards had taken off to get their sovereign when the tall warrior executed her little stunt. The steps were hurried at first but when the Amazon Queen came in full view of the riverbanks and her fishing expedition, they immediately relaxed. She sent the guards to stop the two groups of tearing one into the other, and not even trying to hide her amusement, she asked.
"You don't happen to have anything to do with this mess, Xena?"
"Their lines must have become tangled, Queen Melosa, somehow." Xena answered with a flourishing smile.
"I was told there was a big, big fish in the river not too long ago."
"They definitively failed to catch this fish, not even when it was practically breathing in their ears."
"No, they didn't catch it – but I did."
"Yes, Queen Melosa, you did; and I know about the consequences of my little prank. Some of your warriors could be offended being duped by a slave, some of them even could feel humiliated, and my punishment has to take their reactions in account, Mistress."
"You never cease to amaze me, Xena. However, this time there's not only the two of us involved, so the council has to take part in any decision concerning your punishment. The fishing detail was important to get enough supplies for the summer solstice. No one will go hungry because of this but the village of the Queen has to maintain a certain standard, meet certain expectations. I'm not sure I can dissuade them from a public punishment. But what you did also showed that we are too careless within our borders. You shouldn't have been able to come as close to them as you did without them noticing your presence. You caught them totally unaware. This also will be held in account."
"I'm sure your fishing party could use a rest. Why don't you let me try and catch some of the fish you need while the council decides about me, Mistress?"
"So it shall be. We'll leave a pole and the baskets, and I will send the guards as soon as the sentence is pronounced. Whatever the outcome, Xena, I really would have enjoyed seeing them tumble into the water."
"I'll try and arrange something, next time, Queen Melosa."
About three candlemarks later Xena was standing in the slowly flowing river tossing a big trout into one of the big baskets when six Amazon warriors were approaching. They were walking in pairs and appeared at the sandy riverbank when Xena was catching another smaller trout. She regarded it thoughtfully and threw it back when one of the guards called her name.
Eponin was leading the escort. "Xena of Amphipolis, slave held by guilt to the Amazon Nation, personal slave of Queen Melosa, you were found guilty of public nuisance, disrespect, and abuse of public property. Your sentence will be pronounced in the council's hut after dropping your catch at the dining hall. Take the basket and follow our lead."
"I can carry two of them but I could use some help with the other four, weapons' master."
Eponin just nodded to her fellow warriors, well aware of the fact that Xena had obviously managed to catch more fish in a few candlemarks than the whole fishing detail would have been able to haul in in two or three days. So, instead of delivering the catch to the cook she made the escort presenting it at the council's hall. Disciplinarian matters only were decided upon by the Queen and the council of elders, so the weapons' master wasn't privy to their decision – but an escort of six seasoned warriors in her eyes didn't bode too well.
The verdicts of Amazon justice weren't revocable, the sentences were. When the elders saw the baskets and were assured that the slave really did make the catch without any help they reconsidered their previous decision. So, Xena and her guards spent another half candlemark waiting in the village square.
"Xena of Amphipolis, you were found guilty of public nuisance, disrespect, and abuse of public property." The Queen was standing in the centre of the round council's hall, the elders four paces behind her in a close knitted row with enough room for the missing members of the crafts, guard and army. Xena knelt in front of her mistress as if they were alone in the Queen's hut. "Do you have anything to say to your defence?"
Xena just shook her head 'no'.
"Stand up and hear the sentence of the council of the elders." The former Conqueror did as she was told but refused to raise her eyes from the floor thus still signalling her submission to the law.
"Now hear your sentence: for abuse of public property you will do two times the deed you interfered with, which you already did – so justice is satisfied. The disrespect you showed the voluntary fishers would be balanced with five strokes of a cane, accounting for the fact that your actions also pointed out a major security leek. But public nuisance earns you ten more strokes with the cane. Elder Akyra will bear witness of your punishment and it will be executed by the weapons' master."
Elders and guards quietly left the hut. "Xena, please remove your leathers. There's a table near the back wall. I want you to place your upper body on top of it. Do you want to be restrained for the punishment?"
"No, Mistress. It won't be necessary."
"I know you probably are aware of the consequences but I have to make sure."
"Yes, I know what will happen if I move while not being restrained, Mistress."
-x-x-x-x-
Gabrielle's whole body was shaking with laughter when Xena described her little joke to her and Thania. She kept asking about details long after Thania's initial laughter was replaced by a worried frown.
"What is it, little one? Do the ribs still bother you much?"
"Anara said they're doing well. It's healing pain she said. Our village is famous for its fish dishes at festivals. The Queen couldn't have been pleased about your interference."
For a heartbeat, Xena contemplated to ignore the implications of Thania's remark.
"She said she would have loved to see them tumbling in with her own eyes, but you're right, Thania. I didn't know how important the fishing detail was, else I probably wouldn't have done it."
The former Conqueror took a deep breath and avoided studiously to look in Gabrielle's direction.
"While the Council of Elders decided upon my punishment I managed to catch enough fish to make up for the loss, so there was no real harm done. The weapons' master caned me. The marks will be gone the day after tomorrow."
"So, all is well."
"Yes, little one, all is as it should be."
Xena felt the tension building in the blond woman's body, and when she turned an apologetic look towards her, the outburst of anger was inevitable.
"All is well, no, nothing is well. This stupid trial obviously isn't enough for you, Xena, isn't it? It isn't enough that they probably will kill you soon, no, you go and do your damned best to let them also degrade and hurt you. Why? Were some candledrops of laughter worth the pain? Why, Xena?"
The first wave of anger expelled, there now were tears glittering in the beautiful green eyes. Xena's hand of its own accord moved forwards to brush them away. She should justify her actions, she thought, instead she simply said.
"I'm sorry, Gabrielle, I didn't want to upset you. I love you too much; please don't be angry with me. I try not to let anything like this ever happen again. I'll try my very best but please try to understand that no one in the village will share your concern. The punishment reflected what I did and not what I am. The Commander of the Royal Guards would have met the same fate. It's one of the most important rules here that one has to face the consequences of one's decisions. I knew this. I followed my heart and I don't regret it. Please don't make me regret it."
"I love you, Xena. It's just … sometimes I wish we never would have come here. In Corinth I never had to worry about your safety and your well-being."
"Oh, Gab, in Corinth I was worried about your safety all the time. The guards intercepted two assassins and someone tried to get the cook to poison your meals. I suppose a council member was afraid of your influence on my decisions. With the Amazons you always will be safe."
"Why didn't you tell me then, Xena?"
"You had enough to deal with as it was, your memories, the assault, your father, teaching the palace's children… I know, it was wrong. I once again valued my judgement more than yours. I wanted to protect you – – and I was afraid you would leave me if you ever felt threatened in the palace." The last words were spoken calmly but Xena refused to meet Gabrielle's eyes.
The injured woman's left hand found and steadied Xena's chin, making sure to look into the eyes of her lover. "After the first night we spent together in bed I knew I was in love with you, and after our first time making love I knew I would follow you to Tartarus and beyond. Why didn't you trust me?"
The woman who was said to get rid single-handedly of ten enemy soldiers without even breaking a sweat found herself as usual at a total loss when compelled to deal with her feelings for Gabrielle.
"I'm sorry," she stuttered, "I never loved before, there never was someone to care about what I did. Please forgive me, I love you so much."
"Love you too, my big dumb warrior. Please don't do it again. You conquered my heart when I first lost myself in the deep, blue pools of your eyes. But still…"
Pointing to her slave collar Xena asked. "You're still unnerved about this, aren't you?" Gabrielle nodded and Xena sighed.
"Perhaps I should have explained it better from the beginning but in the Amazon Nation things that have the same name as in the rest of Greece don't necessarily also have the same meaning. In big cities as in Athens or Corinth being an apprentice means that you work with a craftsman and learn his trade by doing so. On rare occasions, there exists a bond on a more personal level but most times; it's just a working relationship.
"For an Amazon," she continued after a quick smile to Thania, "it should be an honour to have an apprentice. An Amazon mistress is not only to teach a craft, be it weaving, or warfare, or hunting. More important than skills and knowledge is to help the apprentice to build up her self-esteem, to teach her the virtues of a true Amazon. That's why there are always two apprentice ships for every young Amazon: one to learn how to defend herself and her tribe, and one to learn a craft. Apprentice and mistress not only share the work, they share each others lives, and sometimes a mistress can even become a 'second mother'."
"So, what Najara did, wasn't right, it was against the law and against custom."
"Yes, little one. It wasn't right. The Queen will be good for you."
There was a long moment of silence.
"Xena, before you continue, please tell me, what's a 'second mother'?" Gabrielle asked.
"Do you like to explain it, Thania?" The girl's face lit with a smile as bright as a torch at the request.
"Many Amazons are warriors, fighting is part of what they are deep down in their hearts. They risk their lives on a regular basis and so the blood mothers do not always have the time to be with their children, to care for them or to teach them. That's why the communal huts exist and apprentice ships. A second mother however is more than just a mistress or a teacher. She offers friendship and understanding and love, a shoulder to cry on or a firm hand to spank with if need be. It's common procedure for the bond mate of the mother to become the second mother of a child, but sometimes it's the other way round, sometimes a woman finds herself enchanted by a child and asks the mother for the privilege to be named second mother. There are even stories about the two mothers subsequently becoming joined."
"You told me that you don't know your mother, but do you have a second mother, Thania?"
"No more, she died of a fever three winters ago. She was a weaver, sweet, and kind, and while she worked, she always told stories about Amazon history and great fighters and lovers and adventures. I'll always miss her but when I last was allowed to see her she told me that she will always be with me. She told me that the dead can hear our thoughts and she told me that one day when I'll need her most my blood mother would come to be at my side."
The girl's voice was a strange mixture of genuine grief and un-abatable hope. She quickly closed her eyes and then tried to look at Gabrielle and Xena at the same time.
"I know it never is the child's to choose but both of you have become very important to me. After the trial would you and Gabrielle consider to become my second mothers, Xena?"
The question found Xena totally unprepared and she really didn't know how to phrase her answer when Gabrielle gave her some time. "We would be honoured, Thania, but Xena and I aren't no Amazons, and so it hardly will be possible. I'm sorry."
"Gabrielle is right she and I would love to be second mother to you, Thania, and as soon as Gabrielle is well enough to ask, I'm sure Queen Melosa will grant her request. But as long as I'm a slave, I won't be even allowed to ask. I'm sorry. There's only one thing I can promise, I will always be there to protect you, to guide you and to love you as long as you want me to – and if I'll ever loose this collar and you still want me to, I'll make the pledge to the Queen, little one, that's a promise."
Thania was smiling but Gabrielle still seemed puzzled. "So outsiders can become second mothers?"
"It doesn't happen very often, Gab, but it's possible. It even isn't unheard of that an Amazon becomes second mother to an outsider's child."
"Really? How do you know?"
"I'll tell you but it's a secret and you have to promise not to mention it to anyone else, especially the Queen isn't to know, not yet. You also have to promise, Gabrielle…"
Xena was just finishing her story when Akyra entered the healer's hut to tell her that the Queen requested the presence of her slave. The tall warrior decided to risk another punishment and answered she would come as soon as possible. Akyra only nodded, her mind still contemplating the story she had overheard and now more sure than ever that her plan would work. Telling her lover at least part of the truth was an important step for the usually silent raven head.
"Let's get back to our starting point, an Amazon slave. The differences between an apprentice and an Amazon apprentice are small compared to the differences between a slave to the Amazon Nation and an outsider's slave. With the Amazons, there are a lot of rules and traditions involved, and some of them serve to protect the slave. It's true that a slave isn't allowed to do what she wants. She has only to do what her mistress orders her to do and will be punished if she fails to do it or acts on her own accord.
"Being a slave means loosing personal freedom and privacy but, Gabrielle, you were wrong when you said earlier that I wanted the Amazons to humiliate and degrade me. This never can happen. Slavery here is about authority and obedience not about dominance and submission.
"Don't get me wrong, there's always the possibility of a mistress to abuse of the power given to her but it's the slave's decision either to go with it or to take her case to Queen or council. The laws do not take ill treatment lightly, be it by corporal punishment or else because it means treating a woman the way women usually are treated by men. To an Amazon every woman is a sister of fate.
"The more so with sexual matters, sexual violence has to be consensual, if not its considered a rape – and rape, murder and treason are the only charges to warrant a death sentence. There's one other difference. At the Amazon nation, no one ever was a slave for her whole life. It's always limited to a certain amount of moons, seasons or years. The time completed the Amazon will return to her former life and position in the nation. Today I acted without permission. I was defying the Queen's authority and the punishment was the only way to officially reassure my obedience, Gabrielle."
"I think I understand now, Xena, but I still don't have to like it. Perhaps it would be better for you to leave now. The Queen's patience probably isn't without limits."
Xena took her leave from both of them and turned to the door. "Xena."
"Yes, Thania?"
"What Najara did to me was rape."
"Yes, little one."
"I understand. Good night, Xena."
"Good night, little one."
-x-x-x-x-
Xena was too edgy by the conversation to face the Queen right now, so she took another detour – to the temple. Once again, she opened the compartment in the back of Artemis' statue and lowered herself to her right knee. The evening had brought back many memories she wasn't ready to deal with yet, and she also was concerned about the deductions and conclusions the two others would be led to by her revelations. Once again she lost herself in prayer and when she arrived at the Queen's hut most of the village was already asleep.
The central room was deserted. The fire was banked for the night and a single torch illuminated the large desk at the other side of the room. On it was a small jar and a piece of parchment. It said.
Xena,
I requested your presence to put some ointment on the cane marks. I hope you'll manage for yourself. Akyra told me that the conversation you just had was very important to the three of you. While I'm writing this my guards, tell me that you're on your way to the temple, so I decided to check on the night shift at the outlooks.
However, your punishment for not answering my summon will be a night and a day of fasting. You're allowed to water but not allowed to eat. I hope this satisfies your exaggerated sense of discipline and order.
Don't forget to close in your restraints when you go to bed.
Melosa.
Xena left the jar at the table, took the torch, and passed to her room, slightly nervous about what Akyra possibly had overheard, or even worse already told the Queen. It would only complicate matters further. Despite these worries, she soon fell asleep after having linked the chain dangling from the backrest of her bed to her slave collar.
The next morning shortly after dawn the Queen returned, unlocked the chain, and sent Xena to an already waiting group of Amazons composed of about half the members of yesterday's fishing detail, some royal guards, some hunters, and the weapons' master. She was to teach them how to catch fish with their bare hands. The combination of keen senses and fast moments required to do so made sure that at least some of them would be utterly frustrated by the end of the day and she was surprised to find that only four of them really didn't get it.
So foremost the day was great fun. When they took their midday-break in the first candlemarks of the afternoon, a splashing feast started that quickly turned in an all-out water fight leaving them all completely soaked and efficiently chasing away the fish. So, they decided to lie down on the sunny beach and relax. When two candlemarks later three of the kitchen helpers came to take away their catch, they still were pleasantly soaking in the summer sun, stark naked. One of them full of reproach looked at their meagre two and a half baskets of fish but Eponin just shrugged her shoulders, not even bothering to get up and said that they had been send out to learn not to empty the river of its content. She added with a glint in her eyes that she didn't want to be disturbed in her serious and exhausting business of drying their leathers. Another one of the kitchen staff mumbled that they had expected at least another four baskets but didn't dare to confront the weapons' master directly.
Half a candlemark later Xena whispered in Eponin's ear and the Amazon warrior sent her sisters back to the village. Xena stood and walked in the water not bothering with her still damp leather dress. She began to toss fish after fish to the weapons' master. Soon two more baskets were filled and Eponin insisted that now it was her turn. She caught the content of one basket before Xena once again took over. Their leathers now were dry enough not to be too uncomfortable, they delivered the four baskets to a flabbergasted cook, and Xena made a visit to Gabrielle before returning to the Queen's hut.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Tell me again why we have to make this detour to Amphipolis, Cyrene."
"It may be more than two years ago but I had a stock of dried healing herbs hidden that still will be of use and also some plantations in the forest where we can harvest fresh ones. We may need them on our way, and it only will take us a few days."
The tall warrior couldn't help but think that a few days may just make the difference between life and death for his general but Xena had been more than adamant about Cyrene not getting to know the conditions of her stay with the Amazons or about the forthcoming trial. His silence began to catch her attention so he said.
"I should have known the General learned her healing skills at a young age. She'd always told us that the battles she was in taught her all she had to know but she's just too good to be nothing but a battle field surgeon."
"Xena's a healer? You're kidding, Palemon."
"The General is a woman of many skills, Cyrene. Most of the men here could tell you a lot of stories about the General saving their lives with her healing skills and her determination, sometimes against all odds. After a full day of fighting more often than not, she spent the night trying to save our lives. She trained the army healers and when dealing with severe injuries it's her everyone looks for. She went for days without sleep to save her soldiers, and every death was a lost battle in her eyes. She fought as hard in the healer's tent as she did on the battlefield."
Palemon saw the look of disbelief the gray haired woman gave him but he knew that slowly his words were taking root in her heart and that she began to at least contemplate the possibility her daughter could be more than just a heartless killer.
"I can tell by the frown on your face that you don't believe him, Cyrene," one of the older soldiers suddenly said, "so I will tell you a story, a true story because I happen to have lived through it. My name is Meleager, I'm fighting with the General for more than nine years now. I began as a soldier and became her supply master after being injured in the war against the Persians. One of their spears cut open my guts and I was sure to die when my insides began to spill out. All I could do was trying to press them back inside while I was lying on the ground and staring at the blue sky. I knew I soon would have to pay Charon but suddenly there was a shadow shielding me from the sun and a voice ordered me to continue and take one breath after the other.
"She said. 'You're not allowed to die, Mel. It will get worse before it can get better but I need you.' The next thing I know is that I was looking into these incredible blue eyes of hers, still filled with worry and the voice said. 'Don't you dare to die on me, Meleager.' I sank back into oblivion and when I regained consciousness, the blue orbs where still watching over me. She could have patched me up and leave my to the Fates but the General not only tended to my wounds she also cared about me.
"I felt safe in her care and that's what gave me the strength to get well again. Later on, when I was well enough to move around a bit, I was told that she not only spent several candlemarks to tend to my wound but that she also fed and bathed me more than once while I was recovering. And that's not the only time I owed my life to her."
"So she cared for an experienced fighter who certainly was an asset to her army. What's so special about that?"
"Well, that's what she always wanted us to believe but she couldn't fool us and you obviously don't want to understand, Cyrene. The General had the Persian wounded found on the battlefield in the same tent and she tended to them with the same dodged determination. To her it didn't count if one was an enemy or a friend, a seasoned fighter or a young lass on his first campaign. She tried to give all of us a second chance. It wasn't a question of a sword more or less to her army.
"There's more to her than she herself wants to acknowledge. I know you probably still don't want to believe me but there's a way to convince you once we're in Amphipolis. One of the Persians she saved back then is now running the inn. His name is Tarik and he was nothing short of a boy when we fought them. We became friends while recovering from the Persian campaign. He took an arrow through his right shoulder and shattered his leg from a fall. I'm sure once he knows what happened he will be with us for the trip to the Amazons."
"Meleager, I really hope that you are right about your general but for the last decade or so, all my daughter showed to me was a heartless murderer and warlord, only interested in her own good, so please try to understand that I'm still reluctant to share your view."
"Tarik and Shirin will convince you, Cyrene, you'll see."
-x-x-x-x-
All in all Xena had had a most pleasant day – and she really was looking forward to dinner. In the central room a fire was blazing, Queen Melosa was sitting in front of it, wearing a white, sleeveless gown going down to her ankles, delicate leather sandals and a leather headband adorned with Artemis' moon. Tonight she wasn't the Queen, she was Artemis' Priestess, and Xena bowed to her befitting her social standing.
"Sit down, Xena. I'm sure you know that the festival of summer solstice only really begins with the offering to the Great Huntress, at moonrise on the first evening. There's partying before and lots of after but this ceremony is what it is really all about. It celebrates the time Artemis chose the Amazons as 'her' people. To mentally prepare for this celebration the priestess is required to spend the fourth night before the festival at the temple in prayer and silent vigil. In the past I always did this on my own but tonight I want you to go with me." Registering the expression of shock on Xena's face she relented. "This isn't an order, Xena, I just would appreciate your company."
"I'm honoured, Queen Melosa," the warrior answered choosing her words carefully, "it would be a pleasure to be at your side tonight. I'll willingly share the vigil and wait for you here or at my room but my presence at the temple only would insult the Goddess. My actions in the past certainly have, and more than once. I'm surprised she hasn't struck me down yet, she has ample opportunity when I'm at her house praying."
"I disagree, Xena. Two nights ago, I had a dream. I don't remember all the details but Artemis knows that you're on your path to redemption. She knows that you try to right at least part of the wrongs you did in your life. I'm sure she won't be insulted by your presence as she isn't insulted by the fact that your prayers are not directed to her. – There's something to eat on the dresser in your room, serve yourself if you choose to stay here. On your bed, you'll find something to wear when you're coming with me. You have half a candlemark to make your choice."
Xena silently stood, bowed once again, and closed the door to her room. She heavily leaned against it and released the breath she unconsciously had been holding.
On the bed there was as white tunic, a braided leather thong to put around the waist, leather sandals, and a two inches broad leather band to fasten around the left biceps. One had to look very closely to see that it wasn't plain but had on it a moon outlined with small holes pierced through it. It was the official outfit of a priestess' assistant. She closed her eyes and made her decision.
-x-x-x-x-
The next morning they left the temple at the first rays of dawn and Melosa asked. "You're up for a run? The long way around the ravine?"
They returned to the village in silence. The Queen and Priestess knew that the moon Goddess had visited Xena in a forceful vision and she was pretty sure that the dark haired woman now had a lot to think about.
After the run and a large morning meal the tall warrior asked to be allowed to do some repairs at the detention hut she would have to spend the nights and spare time in during the trial. At first, the Queen reclined the offer, the thought of someone repairing one's own prison was plainly odd, but Xena insisted. In the end, Queen Melosa sent the two craftswomen who just were preparing their tools to another assignment Akyra recently had talked her into.
The walls of the rarely used detention hut were still sturdy but some of the bars at the window were missing and the interior was in dire need of restoration, the two bolts closing the door also had to be replaced. In the afternoon while searching the supplies of the blacksmith for replacement material Xena came upon an oddly looking cart standing in the far corner of the backyard and an idea began to form. Later she asked the Queen for a quill and some pieces of parchment and started to sketch.
Soon the detention hut was as good as new and the neglected cart had been transformed into something resembling a chair but with wheels instead of legs. Around midday, Xena came into the infirmary. She didn't carry a lunch tray as she usually did but simply picked up her lover, carried her outside and gently lowered her onto the chair. At the back were handles to push it around but as Xena had hoped Gabrielle quickly was able to move it around on her own. By aligning some small wheels and chains in a rather complicated looking pattern the tall woman had made it possible to handle the wheelchair one-handed, Gabrielle's right arm not being strong enough yet to be strained and her wrist still in a splint. It was strenuous but she now no longer was confined to the healer's hut all the time and she would be able to take part in the festival.
Together they went to the dining hut, Gabrielle was at her side when she put the last finishing touches to the detention hut and also stayed with her when she met with Ephiny. The day after the vigil she reluctantly had agreed to answer her lawyer's questions.
To be continued in Chapter Five: The Festival
