December 24th 2015.
She thinks she's gotten fat, four months into her pregnancy and she's just started showing and suddenly she's decided she's some sort of whale of a woman.
She couldn't be more wrong.
We've been married since April deciding upon an Easter wedding, she'd picked out the flowers theme and décor before I even had the chance to have an opinion on it. But as ever she chose something impeccable. The past nine months being married to her have been the happiest time of my life, I look back fondly to two years ago underneath that Christmas tree happy that I had finally taken the leap to kiss her knowing she would never be sure enough to act on her feelings for me. Since babysitting TJ last year we'd spent a while talking about the prospect of children and the reality of starting a family of our own. Maura wanted to try to bare our children imploring that as the one with the least physical job she would feel unsure if I was pregnant and running around after bad guys. It was logic I couldn't deny but I insisted that I wished to give her a child as much as she wished to do that for me. That was a conversation for another time at the moment I was just in awe of the beauty that was before me.
She still insisted upon wearing those fabulous dresses and heels, although she insisted that the lower heels that she was now sporting were less "fashionable" and more "sensible" who would I be to argue with her. She was currently in the kitchen attempting to cook something rather technical for dinner, refusing any help as ever insisting that I go to the living room to watch television as having been the only one of us who had worked today I therefore deserved some rest. She'd already stated the specific amount of time she intended the food to take (so far it was three minutes over and she was particularly confused by this, it was adorable.) Eventually she joins me on the couch, plates in hand each with chicken and vegetables prepared in ways I found hard to describe however they tasted wonderful and I was incredibly grateful. She slumps down next to me with a sigh flicking her shoes off in the mean-time.
"Did you not want to sit at the table Maur', I could get that bottle of wine out I know you said a small glass of wine was acceptable every now and again?"
She shakes her head before leaning on me. "No, I just want to be comfortable with you tonight. I'm so tired and we're having your family around again tomorrow." She takes a bite of the food she's prepared, wrinkling her nose slightly in order to sniff it before putting it in her mouth delicately.
"Recently certain foods have been making me feel nauseous, I'm certain it's my body's natural avoidance of unfit foods however I had hoped to avoid morning sickness." I take in her appearance; she appears tired and slightly pale as she eyes the food in front of her.
"Babe, how sick were you this morning?" Her eyes light up and she guiltily looks to the floor.
"I, urgh, I may have vomited prior to your awakening." She flushes red.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask in concern ducking my head to meet her eyes.
"I didn't want you to feel like I couldn't look after myself or lose out on the sleep that you needed for today." I roll my eyes before kissing her cheek prior to stuffing another scoop of food into my mouth. "Mrs Maura Rizzoli-Isles you are my wife and because of that you should know to interrupt my sleep so that I can comfort you during any time that you are carrying my baby! I can't do anything except try and be there for you during this could you let me do that please?" She looks at me intently before nodding.
"Jane…"
"Yes?"
"I can't stomach this food, I'm so sorry." She looks down obviously upset; I put my arm around her shoulder pulling her to me. "Alright, will it keep in the fridge until tomorrow?" She nods. "Well I'm sure Korsak will have no problem in polishing this off, would you mind if I ate mine or is that going to make you feel worse?" She contemplates this before saying she wasn't certain and a guess could lead us to a messy situation so I tell her to relax for a little while as I finish my dinner before rustling something up for her. She looks so glum it makes me sad that she's been under the weather recently. "What would you like to eat Maur'?"
"May you cook the salmon in the fridge? It's good for my body to eat at least two portions of oily fish per week. The vegetables should be alright to go with it I think it was the chicken that's the cause of my nausea." I nod at her before kissing her solidly and retreating into the kitchen. "I love you, I'm sorry you're feeling like this." She pecks my lips before insisting she loves me more pushing slightly at my shoulders to provoke me to move.
I reheat my dinner which had gotten cold before I place the salmon in the oven to roast it in tin foil. Finishing my food before the salmon is thoroughly cooked and her vegetables are heated again. I return to the sofa plonking myself down next to her again, noting that she'd been intently watching a documentary on platonic shift an erupting volcano was the image currently taking up the screen. She seemed enraptured by it as I placed the plate on her lap grabbing a forkful before lifting it to her lips; strangely she opens her mouth allowing me to feed her without so much as blinking in my direction.
"Babe, as nice as it would be for me to feed you like this and I am willing to do that for you but I would prefer if you were a somewhat engaging participant." She looks at me with a glazed over expression, I can tell it's the one she uses when she's uncomfortable.
"Did you know that the temperature of magma is between 700-1300⁰C whereas has a slightly smaller range of 700-1200⁰C when first expelled from the volcano?"
"No Maur' I didn't know that." She's not going to talk about it. She takes the fork from me and start eating the food in front of her, smiling when she realises that the salmon is apparently inoffensive to her sensitive stomach.
"Thank you for taking the time to cook this for me."
"Don't be silly Maur' of course I would cook for you, I'm going to be cooking tomorrow I refuse to allow you to be run ragged by my mother and brother's on Christmas day despite what they might be saying to you. You're going to be putting your feet up and relaxing for once detective's orders and if anyone says anything different I'll be hitting them with a fly swatter." She nods before finishing her meal quite swiftly; it would appear she was hungry after all. It was then that she leans back down to me; I decide to shift taking her plate to the floor and allow her to settle between my legs her back pressed to my chest as I kiss the nape between her ear and neck.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or is that enormous brain of yours going to continue to silently work in overdrive?" She sighs before taking my hand and placing it on her abdomen inviting me to lovingly caress the bump that had been forming there over the past few weeks. I loved it; the soft femininity that Maura had always shown was highlighted in her fuller breasts and hips and of course in the curve of her stomach that had recently become the focal point of people's attention. She was self-conscious of it and had initially tried to hide it, no longer opting for exquisitely tailored dresses or suits but rather slightly looser shirts or sweaters. That in itself was a tell and suddenly people were asking when the baby was due, it unnerved her and she had spent the day in her office attempting to avoid the world until I barged past her guard dog (Suzie) with her dinner and the explanation that of course people would eventually pick up on her being pregnant, we were newlyweds who had voiced the want to start a family to members of the police force if we didn't expect them to put two and two together how could we expect them to be good at their jobs. She'd relaxed enough to leave the office and follow me to the bull ring after dinner however she later confessed that we should be expecting the arrival of several items of maternity wear that she'd ordered in a panic. She had seemed fine about everything since then, until today.
It was then that she mumbles something incoherent facing purposefully away from me before blushing slightly. "I'm sorry Maur' I couldn't quite hear that I don't possess bat-like hearing."
"I said I found stretch marks on my hips before I came downstairs." She turns a darker shade of pink before covering her face in her hands. "Mmmmh mmm mhmm." Apparently she doesn't wish to be coherent as her mumbling continues through her digits.
"Pardon?"
"I said now I'm concerned you won't find me as attractive anymore." She dejectedly looks down avoiding eye contact fiercely. She starts messing with the rings on her left hand and I realise it's been on her mind for a while.
"Why would you think that? Maur' you're the most gorgeous woman I ever laid eyes on, the changes going on in your body are because you are making something wonderful for us I will always love anything about you and the sweet pea in there, you know that." She looks at me uncertainly as I shift us so that she is sat on the sofa with me kneeling in front of her. "You'll have to show me, y'know to prevent the shock of discovering them for myself to cause me to recoil in horror." She arches an eyebrow to show her lack of amusement before I carefully brush my lips over the knuckles of her right hand in a swift kiss. "Please, Maur' I want to see what all this fuss is about." She simply stares at me until I raise the hem of her royal blue blouse slightly so as to reveal the small bump that protruded out from her abdomen. Kissing it softly before smoothing my hand over the rise of a hip attempting to inspect it with my fingers, eventually finding the soft ripples that would in fact indicate the presence of stretch-marks. I glance to where my fingers were splayed I see three distinct marks clustered together mapping the filling of these glorious hips before me. She is wonderful, these blemishes would no more cause me to retreat than the scar she has on her back from when she had the chicken pox at the age of five, or the birthmark in the shape of Italy she has on her ankle that we occasionally look at and attempt to explain just how it could be that accurate. She is beautiful, she is wonderful and thankfully she is mine. If only she would see herself for the beauty that she is especially now.
I continue to kiss the flare of her hip before moving to her navel. Shortly I am awarded with a small moan from the woman above before she shakily releases a breath. "J-Jane can you come up here?" Her hazel eyes were slightly more brown than green as it was obvious that she was aroused. She releases three shuddering breaths before finally she is able to talk. "You're not bothered by these?" I shake my head, noticing the forming tears in the corner of her eyes. "Why not? I'm not a "young mother" my body will change more permanently than if we were doing this say, five, ten years ago." I move in to kiss one of her fluttering eyelids catching a descending tear before it could track down her cheek. "Because I love you, and these… these are nothing but a paragraph in the story that will make up our life together, they're not an obstacle to overcome they're a flag to raise and I will never be discouraged for them."
"Promise?"
"I promise, now what's say I take you to bed?" She nods vigorously as I take her by the hand and lead her to our room where I showed her over and over again exactly how much I loved her kissing every inch of her I could possibly get my hands on. The next morning would be hell but we certainly didn't mind.
