Sorry it took so long to upload my new chapter, but I was really busy with my studies :'((

I promise the next one won't be so sad...


A breathless Allison charged upstairs. Only when she reached the door of her room in the student's house she finally let herself breathe out. She unlocked the door and shut it with a thunder. Few steps and she almost fainted in the entryway. She was afraid to unmask her emotions even in a silent and dark room. Allison knew that no one can hear her, but she still was afraid to diffuse a single sound. She clenched her fists as strong as she could manage. All those past memories caught her and she felt lost in the neverending labyrinth with no escape.

She remembered a washed-out smile on her mother's face when she closed her eyes and couldn't make even the last look at her daughter. She remembered her cold skin. Allison held her mother's hand for so long that she almost froze and died with her…


"I didn't know this…" House just wanted to turn Cameron's attention away from her sorrow, but that silly excuse was not the best decision to do this.

Cameron wiped away those tears, which made House feel uncomfortable.

"I mean, I'm really sorry for you" he approached her and was already raising his hand towards her wet face.

"House, don't" she shrank.

"I just wanted…" he didn't understand what he was doing. "Those stupid emotions" he thought, ashamed that he let his caring side shown. Actually, he didn't think he had one. That movement was a surprise not only for Cameron but even for himself.

"You can't change anything" He couldn't object this statement. She was right.

"I was six years old…" Cameron raised her hand and sheltered it to the glass. She wasn't looking at the other person who was in the same room next to her. House thought that if he was standing outside the building he could easily see how the small rain drops tumble on her palm and weave lower over the glass. And then he could simply believe that those tears are just small raindrops washing her tired face and bringing the salvation. But he was there, feeling her pain and the rain outside brought only sadness.

"My mother was the only one who maintained our family. She was working very hard. That year when she died I was in the first class. The other children already went home. It was usual. I was the one who entered school's gates the same moment as they were opened and when I was already going home, they were locked behind my back. I never complained, because I knew how much efforts it takes from my mother to work as hard as she did everyday. She had no weekends, no vacation. Just those little occasions to kiss my forehead when I was already sleeping. I was dreaming…" Cameron's voice stuttered and she had to take a few deep breaths so that she could continue her story further.

"…I was dreaming that when I grow up I work as hard as she does just for her to be able to get some rest. It was a rainy November's day. I was sitting on the sofa near the gatekeeper's post. I remember that tasteful smell, which floated from the huge sandwich he was holding in his hand. I was so hungry" Cameron smiled from that absurd sentence. It sounded stupid for a doctor, who gets a solid salary, but she couldn't forget the situation in those early years of her life. Sometimes the ability to understand the meaning of "Nothing" helps people to value "Something". All her life Cameron was grateful for everything she got. Just nothing could really fill the abyss inside her.

"…I could have gone away from him, but I was more afraid of the dark and silent corridors. So I stayed still on the sofa watching the rain and drawing a birthday card for my Mom. After a few minutes I heard a noisy creak of the opening gateway. My heart almost jumped from happiness! I promptly pulled on my coat, grabbed a bag and pushed the main door. It was freezing outside. Hard drops were chopping my skin; it was difficult even to breathe in. I ran to my aunt and hugged her. She was crying. The whole world was crying. And I thought it was just raining. She squeezed me and said "Allison, I'm very sorry, your mother is dying" Cameron retracted her look from the rain outside the building. She was afraid that it could bring her to that day… That suddenly everything could disappear and she would remain in that dirty courtyard alone.

"It was like a dream… a beautiful dream" House contracted the forehead, wondering if he has heard it correctly.

"We called a taxi. The hospital was on the other side of the city, near my mother's workplace. It was the first time I was sitting inside a car. Leather seats, darkened glasses, the driver's friendly look at the little girl sitting behind him - everything surprised me. My aunt navigated him almost without any words, or maybe I just didn't hear them. My look was focused on the never-seen world outside the cab. Sometimes it seemed that we were flying, of course not very high. Every turn was similar to the swing of a carousel. The rain was pouring down on awry people's faces and I was feeling comfy and warm. I saw unfamiliar people, but I felt so safe, because they couldn't see me. And the colorful lights and flashes almost hypnotized me! My eyes followed them as long as it was possible and then met other shades. I've never imagined that such a variety of colors even exists!" Cameron sighed.

"When the cab reached the main hospital's entrance I was sleeping. There were too many impressions for that day. My aunt gave me a slight shake and I opened my eyes. I thought I was still dreaming. The building looked just miraculous! The glaring light spreading through the vitreous door almost blinded me. I opened the cab's door and made the first steps towards that cruel world that still seemed like a fairytale for me. We reached the information. When my aunt was talking with one of the nurses, her colleague gave me a candy. I pushed it into one of my bag's pockets and happily thought that I could give it to my mother. I imagined how her face would shine when she got it. Then my aunt grabbed my hand and we started that long trip through the misleading corridors. Left, right, right, left again, a few floors up then left again…" House already lost the sequence of their trip, but he was more focused on Cameron's lips, which were telling those directions as if they were learnt by heart. Her eyes were nearly closed, it seemed like she was falling into deep sleep after a very exhausting day.

"Then the last long hallway… I was still amazed of all those doctors with white lab coats and stethoscopes hung over their necks. One doctor even gave me a half-smile. "Allison, here we are" my pathfinder put her hand on my shoulder. I turned my head and met my mother's eyes staring at me over the glass. I stepped forward and the doors opened automatically. "Hey Mommy, look what I brought you!" I started desperately searching for that almost melted candy in my bag. Then I heard her silent voice. That day I didn't understand the following conversation between the two sisters. "Why did you take Allie here?" My mother asked. "Heather, it's your last chance!" I didn't understand why her voice suddenly became so harsh. I was angry with my aunt and couldn't justify that explosive sally of hidden anger. "It's for you!" I stretched my "present" and laid it on the table standing next to her bed. Just then I saw that bowl full of blood. I imagine that I looked terrified at the moment; because my mother gathered all the energy she still had and started shouting "Do you see now? Please, take my daughter away from me!" "No" I clawed hold of her hand and tried to hug her but she pushed me away. Well not directly, she was too weak for it. I just felt that I must go, because she needed to rest. I sat on the floor outside her ward and listened to the hushed voices, but my heart was beating so fast that I practically didn't hear anything that they said, except the last sentence. "I'll never forgive you that you let Allie see me like this!" I felt…" Cameron raised her hands towards her face as if she was thinking that this would hide all her heartache.

This time House acted more unhesitatingly. He pushed his cane towards the table, made two painful steps and dragged her hands away. She still didn't breath, because she felt that if she took one single inspiration, all those emotions would be converted into tears. He put his arms around her waist pulling her close. She snuggled against his chest. House raised his head to the ceiling, smoothing Cameron's back. He just hated to see her crying. It was much better when he had no possibility to notice that sadness erasing her smile and extinguishing that desire of being happy, which was so obvious when she was looking to him. Now he could simply believe that nothing happened. Just the two of them standing in a half-lighted conference room, Cameron gently resting her head on his shoulder. If he just could hold her like this forever. Strongly as a real man, not a damn cripple. House felt that his leg was killing him and after a few moments he wasn't sure if Cameron was leaning towards him or just he took hold of her, because of that disabled leg. But it was nothing in comparison with that pain, which pierced all his body, when Cameron started sobbing.


"Allison, we are going home" she felt a cold hand gripping hers.

"No!" Allison raised her eyes protesting.

Her aunt was not in the mood of making jokes, but suddenly the monitor in the next room started bleeping and both of them froze. The nurses almost ran to the ward. Allison felt that her world was swinging at every step they made and she propped against the wall, because that dizziness was threatening to take away the ability to memorize those minutes spent in total horror. She turned and sheltered a little hand to the glass praying that this nightmare would end. She didn't see her mother through the doctor's backs, bent over her bed. But that long and regular sound was more informative than any word she could get that moment. "Time of death…" she heard one of the doctors saying after he raised his eyes to the clock hanging on the wall in front of him, just a little bit higher than her mother's head. One of the nurses' wrapped the patient's face.

"I'm very sorry" the doctor said to the patient's sister as he left the room.

"You can say a goodbye to her"

Allison romped through the only one person who tried to hold her as long as possible and stormed into the ward. Then she raised the sheet and saw a familiar face. That was her mother. No matter that she wasn't breathing and her skin was supposed to become cold and numb in a few hours – that didn't matter. She wasn't dead! She couldn't be dead! Allison stroked her still warm hand and holding it lay down next to her, embracing her mother's neck.

"I'll be good, I promise I'll be good… Just wake up… Wake up" she said it mostly to herself.

When Allison fell asleep, her aunt took her and carried her to the cab.

She woke up the next morning having a high temperature.

"How are you feeling, dear?" her aunt put her hand to the girl's forehead.

'Where's my Mommy?" she tried to get up, but was too weak.

"I'll bring you some tea" almost with the tears in her eyes, her aunt left the darkened room.

When she came back, Allison sat in her bed, her knees bent. Holding them she swung forward and then a little bit backward. She didn't make any sound, just her dry lips were moving.

"Allison…" but she didn't finish her sentence, because when she closed on, she finally heard that silent prayer…

"God please let me wake up… Help me to wake up… I want to wake up"

"Oh dear" she hugged her niece.

"It's just a dream… just a dream" Allison kept repeating.


It was the first time Cameron let herself remember every slight detail of her mother's death. She felt an uncontrollable desire to sit on the ground, bend her knees and… But she knew that it was not a nightmare. Just a shadow from the past, which darkened every further step in the future.

"I just wanted to give her a little hope. The last smile. The knowing of how much she means to me. How much I love her. How much grateful I am for everything she gave to me. But she died alone. She wanted to protect me till the last minute of her life. She thought that I deserve a better future and withdrew the expensive cancer treatment. I was too little to understand the meaning of this and to be honest…" she raised her sad eyes and met his.

"…I still don't understand" House wanted to stop the tear running through her cheek, but it dropped on his raised hand almost burning the skin.