While Amanda escaped to the guest bedroom Olivia stayed behind in the kitchen. Baffled at what had happened and pondering what Amanda had experienced during the night.

After she had finished her dinner Liv cleared the table and poured herself a second glass of wine. She made her way over to the living room and picked a spot on the couch where she made herself as comfortable as possible. She turned on the tv but more out of habit than interest. Her mind was still occupied with the blond lying in her guest bedroom.

However, not two minutes after she'd settled on the couch, Olivia heard a retching noise coming from the room behind her. Horrorstruck she quickly stood and ran over, not bothering to knock on the door before she burst through it.

The sight that greeted the brunette wasn't a pretty one. Her blonde colleague was hunched over the toilet in her pajama's, shaking visible, whether from cold or throwing up, Liv didn't know.

But Liv couldn't very well leave her on the floor like that and so she quickly strode over and placed her hand on Amanda's arm.

It was only then that Amanda realized the older detective had come in and she was horrified at how this must look. She was cold and clammy and her hair was hanging in her eyes. Trying to sit up she realized this wasn't a good idea as she hunched back down over the toilet and threw up what felt like her whole stomach.

Olivia quietly shushed her "It's okay honey, just calm down". But as far as Amanda was concerned it was far from okay, she was throwing her guts out in front of a woman she strongly admired and looked up to. In that same woman's guest bathroom after having eaten her food. Besides that she was worried what Liv ought to be thinking now.

The warmth that was the hand on Amanda's arm temporarily left her when Liv went to grab the blanket of the bed and get a glass of water. Liv cloaked Amanda in the sheets and then helped her take a few sips of water.

Olivia's mother instinct was taking over and it felt only natural to comfort the younger woman in her time of need. Even though, or maybe because, they were coworkers.

When Amanda felt the nausea subside she slowly sat up a little straighter and gulped down the rest of the water. Olivia looked at her worriedly "Are you sure you can sit up?". Amanda nodded. "Okay then, I'll help you to the couch".

Amanda looked up at her for the first time. Why to the couch? "I'd rather get back into bed" She remarked but Liv was already shaking her head "Sorry but I don't think so. You're obviously far from fine like you say you are so we're going to talk. Tonight".

The fierce determination in her voice was obvious and Amanda was too tired to protest. Which was exactly why she did "That isn't fair! I'm exhausted and I've been through a lot today. Why can't you just let me sleep?".

Olivia looked sympathetic but Amanda knew it was only a front, she'd seen the older detective at work before and knew that Liv was thinking of a tactic.

Sure enough Liv put on her soft voice, the one she used with all victims, not five seconds later "I know, and I am sorry. But that is exactly why we're going to talk. It'll eat you up if you don't and I don't need Melinda to tell me to know that you didn't tell us the whole story".

Flabbergasted Amanda let herself be guided to the couch and sat down. She didn't even protest when Liv tucked in the blanket, which normally would've been way too patronizing for her.

While Olivia bustled in the kitchen and made them tea, Amanda sat on the couch, shivering even though she war wrapped in the blanket, nerves creeping and panic creeping up as she thought about what Liv wanted from her. The one thing she had promised herself to never again do; trust another human being with everything.

When Liv returned Amanda was still shaking and when Liv handed her a mug of tea it shook so violently that the hot liquid splashed over the sides. Quickly taking it away Liv set it on the coffee table and joined Amanda on the couch.

"So do you wanna tell me what happened?" Liv asked. "I already told you…"but Liv cut Amanda of "No you didn't. You left something out". Liv sighed "Look I know, I understand, it's difficult trusting people, even more difficult to tell them the horrifying truth but I can't help you if you don't. And you need to be helped cause you're not fine".

Shame crept up Amanda's face "I can handle myself". Liv smiled sadly "I know you think so, because you're just like me. And I used to think so too. But after what happened with Lewis… I got help. And I'm not weak for doing so, I realize that now. You need to know that telling me what really happened will only show your strength, not your weakness".

"And look where that got me last time" Amanda muttered softly, hoping that Liv wouldn't catch on, but the brunette was a detective for a reason. "What do you mean?" Liv asked.

Amanda looked up at her for the first time since they'd sat down "You know what happened last time. I told my story time and time again and then it got hushed up. I'm not going to put myself through that again".

Hot tears were welling in Amanda's eyes and she looked down again so Olivia wouldn't see. The older detective nodded in understanding. "I promise you" she emphasized "I will not let that happen. I'm going to catch whoever did this and I'm going to make them pay".

"How can you promise something like that?" Amanda asked weakly "You don't know who he is, or if you're ever going to get him, let alone prosecute him".

"I can promise you I'll try my very best. But you have got to trust me" Liv pleaded.

And Amanda couldn't take it anymore. She was so tired and her body ached. So she told her colleague everything. Starting the same way as the last time but this time including the part where he had raped her before running of.

Olivia listened patiently, occasionally asking questions and putting her hand on the blonde's when the younger woman started crying silently.

When she was finished telling her story Amanda wiped away the tears on her face, angry at her own weakness. But she felt somewhat better. It was nice to let someone in for a change and it felt relieving to have another soul know what had happened to her. Yet it was also the most terrifying and difficult thing she had ever done.

"Here's what we're going to do" Liv said "You're taking the day of tomorrow and you're going to a psychiatrist. In the meanwhile I'll tell the rest what happened".

"No you can't!" Rollins shrieked and the mere power of the noise made Olivia jump. "I can't have people looking at me like that again! They'll all have sympathy in their eyes, just like you do now. They'll never look at me the same way again and any respect I've earned over the past two years will fade to the background. If they don't trust my judgment now, how bad will it be after they know?".

Olivia looked confused "What do you mean?". "You know" Amanda said hesitantly, but if she was going to trust Olivia she had to trust her completely "the way nobody believed me when I said mister Jackie was innocent. And the looks they all gave you after we rescued you from Lewis".

Liv shuddered at the memory "Look I know we haven't been completely fair to you, but that's not going to change just because you were assaulted. Besides those looks will fade away in time. If you get better and you keep carrying yourself with dignity they'll eventually realize how strong you truly are". Amanda looked unconvinced so Liv continued "Remember what we told Gia Eskas? If you survive the abuse, you can survive the recovery. I truly believe that you can".

Their eyes met and Amanda smiled weakly "Okay, I trust you. Just don't… hurt me okay. I've been hurt enough". Olivia nodded "I promise".

The conversation was over and both women had come out differently. They knew the bond between them had just changed for the better, grown stronger. And with that knowledge in the back of their minds they sat watching television for the rest of the night, mutually understanding and agreeing that neither of them would sleep tonight, no matter how tired they were.

AN; hey there, this chapter came way faster than I'd thought it would. It's got a lot of dialogue in it. Altough a friend of mine once said she loves my dialogue writing I struggle with it quite a lot and this chapter was difficult for me to write for that reason. I hope you all like it and let me know if you think there's something I can do better. Xx