Part 4/4: When Humphrey Met Waldorf

Serena was sitting on the bench reading "Just Kids" by Patti Smith. He knew she always came to Central Park to read when she was upset. When her eyes met him, she closed her book and set it down. Dan sat next to her and gave a sigh.

"Hey"

"Hi" Serena said shyly.

They sat on the bench quietly for a while.

"I'm sorry about what happened back there," Dan said finally interrupting the silence.

"Yeah, me too" Serena looked at him with hope in her eyes.

"You shouldn't be mad at Blair though. Blair she…she loves you. She needs you."

"You are unbelievable," Serena says upset as she shakes her head.

"Did I miss something?" Dan asks.

"You just came here to try to help Blair. Did it ever occur to you why I was mad in the first place?"

Dan looks down and realizes, "The blast?"

"I went there to tell you that…I still love you," she says insecure.

Dan immediately feels guilty. He realized he had been ignoring her calls, gestures and invitations to meet up.

"Serena…" Dan sighs, "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Serena looked at him, "It's like you've completely forgotten about us…"

Dan looked at her and she continued, "Before everything got so screwed up with Juliet and Ben, I wanted you. And trust me I know. I know that I screwed up and took you for granted, but I'm here now and I still believe you're the love of my life…"

Dan looked at her and didn't know what to say. He wished, really wished he could feel something for Serena, but he couldn't feel anything other than guilt for not feeling the same.

"But…you love Blair now." She said looking at him intently.

Dan took a second, "I do," he said nodding as he looked at Serena. Despite trying to hide and deny it from everyone, he felt invigorated to let the words out of his mouth. It felt good that he could finally be honest with himself.

Serena nodded to herself with a disappointed look on her face. "I uh…" she smiled, "Gosh, this hurts" she looked down.

"I know the feeling."

Serena smiled, "I do want you and Blair to be happy. I guess I can't be mad at either of you."

"Look, whatever happens with me and Blair…no matter what, you'll always be an important part of my life Serena…we are family after all." He laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"Ah, don't remind me." She laughed, "Could you just…wait a little while though before you and Blair…until it doesn't hurt as much?"

Dan smiled at her reassuringly, "Sure."

They sat on the bench together quietly looking out into the park and it felt like they were truly and finally cutting their mythological tie.


1 month later.

Dan knocks on the door. With Rufus out of town, Chuck not speaking to him, and Eric out of the city for college Dan was in desperate need of male company.

Nate opens the door and glares at him.

"What are you doing here Dan?"

Dan sighed, "Nate, do you even remember why you're mad at me?" Dan walked in and set his messenger bag down in the living room.

"Well yeah..." Nate scrunched his eyebrows like he was thinking hard.

Dan smiled, "I'm sorry I didn't make you a main character in my book."

Nate nodded, "Oh yeah. That's what it was."

Dan continued, "But hey, I missed you or whatever…so I brought…" he set down the case, "Beer. And…" he reached into his bag, "my Star Wars Blu-ray collection that came in from Amazon."

Nate smiled, "Ok. Ok. But we're skipping to Episode four."

Dan joked, "But Hayden's such a hottie."

As the ending credits roll they started catching up on everything they've missed. Dan updated him on school and did not mention anything about his still just friend Blair and Nate talked about his recent break up with yet another Upper East Side psycho girl with ulterior motives.

"What about you?" Nate asked.

"Well…there is this girl."

"I'm listening." Nate took a swig of his beer.

"And, we've been spending all this time together, but I don't really know. We've sort of been stuck in this friend zone kind of deal."

Nate asked, "Did you tell her you think of her as more than just a friend?"

"Well uh…no. She can sometimes be a little complicated."

Nate nods, "When are they not, right?" and then gestures his beer bottle to Dan, "Hey, I'm having my birthday party next week at Visconti. Why don't you invite her to come? A dance club and bar setting should definitely help speed things up."

Dan laughed to himself, "Uh yeah. Ok. Maybe she'll be there."


Dan kind of hates clubs, but for the sake of his friendship with Nate, he puts on a dress shirt and wears his most fashionable toe shoes.

At the club he dances in a group with some of Nate's friends from Columbia. Serena waltzes her way over to him, "Dan you're here! Come dance with me!" she smiled charmingly, as she took his hand and twirled herself around and giggled. Dan laughed and pumped his fists in the air goofily. He catches a glimpse of Blair surrounded by her minions by the bar. When their eyes meet Blair quickly looks away.

Serena leaned into Dan's ear and put her hand on his shoulder, "Hey! You should ask Blair to dance. She won't admit it to me, but I think she likes you too." She smiled. Dan asked, "And, you're ok with it?" Serena laughed, "Yes! Yes! Of course I am. I'm kind of seeing someone or…trying to at least."

Dan smiled, "I'm sure he'll be yours in no time. I'm gonna go ask Blair to come dance."

As he approaches Blair, she gives him a scowl then says to her minions, "Go get me another martini Penelope, and the rest of you stay five feet away…for privacy."

Dan laughs, "If only we were friends when I was at St. Jude's. I would have loved this sort of VIP treatment."

Blair looks at him, "What? I can't hear you. It's so loud in here."

Dan leans in close to Blair's ear, "Want to dance?" He bobbed his head to the music playfully.

Blair smiled and it only looked half condescending. "You and Serena seemed to be having fun."

"What? No. No. She… you know, she's just being Serena." He took her hand. "Come on Waldorf, I promise I won't smoke you too bad on the dance floor."

Blair looked past his shoulder, "I don't think I'm really in the mood." She looked past him again. Dan turned around and a few chairs down Chuck was talking to a pretty girl by the bar.

Dan turned to Blair, "You ok?" he put his hand on her shoulder.

Blair asked him, "Yeah. I just need to get out of here."

"Well let me come with you. I should say bye to Nate though."

As he looks around the room to find him, he sees that he's making out with Serena in a corner booth. Dan laughs to himself. Of course.

"Humphrey, let's just go." Blair tugs his arm.


They debate where to eat outside the club. Blair wants to hail down a taxi to go all the way to Butter, but after quite a bit of convincing, Dan and Blair walk to get burgers at J.G. Melon's.

They end up eating endless amounts of fries, and talk for hours at a table in the corner of the room. They debate about monarchies. ("They're out of touch, not to mention a waste of money. Plus, leadership is not a birthright." "Royalty is a necessary part of tradition and culture and they are essential to foreign relations.") They discuss movies. Dan's sure the Iranian film "A Separation" will win best foreign film at the Golden Globes, while Blair insists it will be the Chinese film "The Flowers of War." They disagreed about many things, but Dan always loved the challenge of disagreeing with Blair.

They eventually get a text message from Gossip Girl.

"Here's wishing N a happy birthday. We hear his best present is a familiar blonde bombshell we love so much. Look out UES-ers, the golden couple is back." The blast was accompanied with a picture of Serena and Nate cozy in a booth at the club.

"Of course." Blair looks at her phone and she rolls her eyes. "I always hated my birthdays. My mother was always off in some other country for fashion weeks and my birthdays just never turned out right."

Dan interjected, "Speaking of which, I am sorry for ruining your 20th birthday with that karaoke video." They both laughed at the memory.

Blair asked, "What were your birthdays like growing up?"

Dan talked while eating fries, "Uh…well as you know I didn't really have too many friends growing up in private schools, so they were always really simple and with my family. My dad's chili. Scrabble. Charades. That sort of thing."

"Sounds like a nice way to grow up." She said with cheer in her eyes.

"It was." He smiled.

"I'm sorry to bother you two, but we're actually closing now." Their waiter interrupted as he put the bill on the table.

Dan looked at his watch and saw it was 3:30 in the morning. "Sorry about that." Dan gave him cash and told him to keep the change. When they were getting their things to leave Blair looked around at the empty restaurant, "I didn't realize we had been talking that long."

"What would you and Chuck talk about when you were together anyway?" Dan asked smiling, but immediately regretted asking. He did this whole thinking out loud thing too often.

"Why?" Blair gave him a dirty look.

"Uh, nevermind." He smiled.

"We talked about lots of things…" she said hesitantly, "Real estate. Take downs. Becoming powerful. Or you know, we would…do other activities that don't require talking." She smiled coyly.

Dan let out a sigh, then smiled, "Ok. Ok. Let's get you home Waldorf."

As they head outside, they start walking towards 2nd avenue because it would be easier to spot and wave down a cab on a busier street. As they walk, Dan notices Blair walking a little funny.

"You ok?" He laughed a little.

"Don't start Humphrey. You have no idea what pain women endure for the sake of beauty." She limps.

"It's gotta be your shoes. They're like 4 inches tall," Dan looks down.

Blair pouts like she's in pain. "I swear. I'm a New York woman. I can wear heels all day…I've just…these are new and I've had them on for too long."

Dan smiles and genuinely feels bad for Blair's poor tiny feet. "You could walk barefoot?"

Blair looks at him, "I'm not even going to respond to that."

Dan thinks, "I could…carry you?"

Blair stops and thinks. "Fine. But no getting handsy or whatever it is you say."

Dan smiles and she slowly puts her arm around his neck and he lifts her up cradling her in his arms. She's so light and he can feel how soft and small her hands are wrapped around his neck. They look at each other, and Dan thinks he should kiss her but doesn't. He carries her for just 2 blocks, and Blair lays her head on his shoulder while they walk and she closes her eyes.

"Thanks for taking care of me Dan," she says softly.


About 2 months later, the four of them are at Hundred Acres for brunch.

"Bye" Serena whispers sweetly with her teeth practically against Nate's. She kisses him. "I'll call you." A kiss. "Later." Another kiss. This time their kiss is longer and Nate puts his hand in her hair.

Blair and Dan stared at them, Blair with this look on her face like something died in the room. Blair turned and glared at Dan then back at Serena kissing Nate.

Blair interrupted and yanked Serena's arm, "Ok! Give the tongues a rest. Let's go Serena. You have to help me pick out an outfit for my date tonight." She said pleased at the thought.

"Wait, you have a date tonight?" Dan asked.

Blair let out a happy sigh. "Yes." She beamed and continued in a bubbly voice, "His name is Brandon and he's from Princeton. I met him at the Columbia Organization of Rising Entrepreneurs Ivy mixer last week. He has an adorable bulldog and speaks nearly perfect French, but not as perfect as mine of course."

"Right, well have fun." Dan says. Blair tilts her head and smiles as she and Serena leave the restaurant arm in arm.

Nate looked at Dan, "Oh my God. How did I not see this before?"

"What?" Dan asked pretending not to know anything.

"The wedding. London. How you not so slickly asked about her date just now. You're in love with Blair." He laughed and crosses his arms.

Dan sighs like he gives up trying to hide it, "Yeah. I am. Still am."

Nate chuckles, "Well I think it's great man. Blair could really use a guy like you."

"Thanks I guess." Dan said frustrated and embarrassed.

"Have you told her?" Nate asked.

"No. I mean Serena told her a while ago before the wedding and I think Blair just rejects the whole idea what with me being…"

"Serena's ex." Nate nods, "Yeah I get that. If Serena ever dated Chuck, Manhattan would be destroyed into ashes and blonde hair. It'd be World War III."

"Well actually Serena's cool with the idea now since she's so happy with you, but I don't know." Dan shrugged, "Our friendship is a good thing and maybe our timing was just wrong."

Hearing this Nate finished his drink and put his empty glass down on the table firmly. "Dude, seriously. First of all, it's never 'a good thing' to be just friends with someone you like, and second, screw timing. Blair's the kind of girl who's not going to wait around for some guy to tell her he loves her. You should just seriously man up and tell her. Make a grand romantic gesture. That worked for me…and Chuck now that I think of it."

Dan sighed. "We can talk about how dysfunctional our little group is later, but you're right." Dan thought to himself then decided, "I gotta go."

"Atta boy." Nate smiled and took Dan's bloody mary drink as he left the restaurant.


Dan was standing in Blair's foyer taking deep breaths, and he could feel his palms were sweating. He was nervous but sure of what he'd come there to do.

The elevator door finally rang. Blair came out of the elevator wearing a green and yellow dress, red lipstick and her hair placed on one side with light curls. She surveyed the room and exclaimed, "What is this? What is going on here?"

The foyer and living room were filled with baskets of pink peonies.

"You're really good at that." Dan pointed to her.

"Good at what?" She asks.

"When you came in you did that smile thing where you look mad and happy at the same time." He smiled.

Blair looked around then looked at Dan. "You're in a decent suit" she said inquisitively like she was putting the puzzle pieces together, "And pink peonies, I know what this is…oh no no no no. We are not in the last 15 minutes of a Julia Roberts movie Humphrey so you can refrain from your mid day afternoon love confession."*

Dan sighed and smiled, "Why did I have a feeling you'd react like this?"

"You are only doing this because…I have a date tonight." She said firmly.

"Blair we both know you don't like that guy and I've wanted to do this for a long time now."

Blair shook her head in panic, "This is all very sweet and flattering. But I thought of a list of reasons why we can't be together." She crossed her arms.

"That's sweet. I think about you too Blair. Let's hear this list." Dan teased.

She took a breath. "Fine. Let's start with the obvious shall we?"

Dan smiled, "Bring it on."

"You're Brooklyn. I'm Upper East Side. In fact, to say you're not my type is a gross understatement. You're kind of everything I hate."

Dan smiled, "All the great love stories start with a woman who meets a man that she can't stand, like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. Plus we thought Serena and Chuck were 'our types' and look where that got us."

Blair shrugged. "Fine. Well, I'm Audrey and no offense but you're no debonair Cary Grant."

Dan laughed, "Seriously? Blair. We're Breakfast at Tiffany's. You're Holly and I'm Paul…who's a writer for crying out loud."

Blair sighed with disappointment. "I know…that's why I haven't watched it in three months…"

Dan smiled, "Your list sucks so far."

Blair gave him a look, "Oh I am not done here! What about our families? Hm? I hate your sister and my mother hardly knows you, she still sometimes thinks you're a cater waiter that happens to be at all the parties we go to. Holidays would be dreadful."

Dan smiled, "Jenny told me about your drunk Little J, little sister confession and your mom loves me. I'm a damn good cater waiter."

Blair paused and her tone became more quiet, "Well why did you wait so long to decide to do this? That had to mean you weren't sure. I know I won't ever compare to what you had with Serena and you won't ever compare to what I had with Chuck."

Dan sighed and stepped closer to her.

"Can I please just tell you what I wanted to tell you Blair?" He took hold of her hands, "Because I am scared out of my mind and I feel way out of my league here and I just…need you to hear me out. Ok?"

"Ok." Blair said quietly and smiled with her lips.

Dan sighed. "Do you remember how we met Blair?"

She made a confused face, "Bart's brunch?"

Dan smiled, "No."

She thought harder, "Oh. Thanksgiving when Serena was drunk in the middle of the street?"

Dan smiled, "No."

Blair asked, "Then when?"

"My story in the New Yorker…10.05.08, I was accidently invited to the birthday party you threw for Nate."

Blair smiled, "What?"

Dan laughed to himself, "Yeah. I got an invitation to your party in my locker by accident. I didn't even know who you or Nate were but my dad convinced me to go. It was at some hall and I said something to you to the effect of, 'Nice peonies.' Then I started talking about how they're named after Paeon the Greek god of medicine and healing, and you just scowled at me and walked away."

Blair laughed, "You met Serena that day…"

"Serena and Chuck may have been our first great loves. But Blair it's different with you. I was slow with you because there's a lot more at stake. I don't want to lose you. Look, I came here today to tell you that…I wasn't expecting this but I've fallen in love you Blair Waldorf. I love everything about you. I love that you call me Humphrey when your mad or being sarcastic but you call me Dan when you're being real with me. I love that you hog both arm rests in the movie theater like you're sitting on a throne. I love that you come to me when you need help and you listen to my advice. I love that we both have cabbage patch kids. I love that your insults used to offend me and now I don't mind when you compare me to a donut. I love your stupid non-functional tiny hats and I love that when my loft door opens I always hope that it's you – and Blair I just"

Blair interrupted him, "For crying out loud Humphrey" grabbed the lapels of his suit and kissed him, and this time when they kissed in the foyer they both felt something and it truly was life changing.

End.


A/N: I know it's cheesy :P but thought that Blair always did love big romantic gestures so I mimicked what Dan did for Rufus and Lily on their anniversary with filling up a room with flowers. The positive feedback and reviews really mean a lot! So thanks for reading!

*A line somewhat borrowed from the show, Brothers & Sisters.