JAC'S POINT OF VIEW
Why had she said that? Absolute fucking idiot, thought Jac to herself.
Poppy stood there with her fists all balled up and the seemingly endless tears trickling down her face. Jac couldn't stand crying. She didn't know how Poppy could have just carried on and not tried to stop. She supposed her emotions must have just been in complete turmoil. Understandably, actually.
Jac also understood exactly why the idea of going to her house would make her upset. A couple of hours ago, she had arrived at home to find her mother all but dead, and left it again in a hurry. She had lived there with her mother for however many years. It was her home.
But that was Jac, wasn't it? When she was 12. After her mother had left, and social services turned up. They took her back to pick up some belongings, and she was everywhere. Her hippy patchouli perfume. Her photo. The funny little ornaments, and the cacti on the windowsill. She didn't have much to pick up, but that was the worst day of her life up to that point. Even worse than the day her mother actually left.
As she remembered, everything came flooding back. The feeling of being completely alone in the world was the worst one. It's one she had since learned to embrace, and now felt that she owned. But it's not one that she wanted anyone she loved to experience, especially not Emma.
Jac left the office, and got Poppy a cup of water from the dispenser. As she leant against the tank, absorbing the somewhat less tense atmosphere out on the ward, Oliver walked past and paused.
"How's the orphan?"
Jac scowled at him "You can't call her the orphan, Valentine. Have some respect."
Ollie smiled sweetly back "Well, a little bird told me that she might not be an orphan much longer. Apparently the ice queen is fostering a teenager. I have to say, I was pretty gobsmacked when I heard."
"Yes, well. She needed someone. Her mother has been dead for just a few hours, and the grieving process when you lose a parent is intense. She needs some support, and believe me, social services are not going to give her that."
"Speaking from experience, are we Jac?"
Jac scowled at him again, and walked towards the nurse's station. Dealing with this girl had meant that she had completely ignored her theatre list and ward duties, something that she hated doing. Mo was perched on the edge of a chair, watching her.
"Do you mind?" Jac snapped.
Mo flashed her a look of surprise "Who's rattled your cage?"
"No one," Jac bit back "Where's my theatre list?"
"Gone. Zosia, Ollie and I cancelled your electives. You and your new child are free to go, as far as I can tell."
Jac didn't know whether to be more surprised about her cancelled electives, or the fact that everyone seemed to know about Poppy.
"Mo, how do you know about Poppy coming to stay with me?" Jac demanded.
"Ah, well. Your little protégé might have spilled the beans."
Zosia. Jac knew Zosia couldn't keep her mouth shut. It was just something about being an F2; they always had a radar for gossip.
"Look," Jac lowered her voice "Don't go spreading this around, ok? If Hanssen or the board got wind of this, there'd be a lot of questions and I'm not sure I have the answers for them."
Mo shrugged "You know I won't say anything. I would be more concerned about Zosia."
Jac put down the pile of patient notes she had absent-mindedly picked up, and headed off to find the F2. Zosia was leaving the locker room when Jac found her.
"Doctor March, a word please." Jac swept her back into the locker room, and shut the door.
"What can I do for you?" Zosia asked pleasantly.
"Well," Jac snapped "Let's see. You can stop running to Valentine and Effanga with all the gossip you can find."
"I'm sorry?"
"Poppy. You know she's coming to stay with me, which you know makes this a personal matter. You also know that I do my utmost to keep my personal and private lives separate. So, if any of this gets spread any further, or reaches Hanssen or the board, you will be out of Darwin faster than you could run to Daddy and ask for help." Jac reached for the door handle, and swung the door open, all the while maintaining eye contact with Zosia. The girl couldn't be fazed; she stared straight back at Jac.
"Understood?" Jac asked, as she ushered Zosia out.
"Oh yes," Zosia turned round with a smile "Absolutely."
Jac headed back to the office, hoping that Poppy might have calmed herself. The next task was to head to her house before it got dark, and retrieve some of her belongings. Jac was dreading it deeply.
She opened the door to her office and walked in to find Poppy sitting on the couch staring at the scans up on the wall.
"Do you know what all these mean?" she asked.
Jac nodded and walked over to the wall "This one has shadows all along the lung, can you see there? They're growths on the inside of the lung that need to be treated. And this one over here shows a hole in the heart, which we're operating on tomorrow."
Poppy nodded and stood up next to Jac "I love the colours on that scan." She pointed to the stress echo, where splashes of blue and orange filled the black "I just think they're beautiful. It's a shame that it's bad news for someone's health when it's so pretty to look at."
Jac just nodded. She'd never looked at scans as anything other than a way to diagnose a patient. And viewing them as artwork? Unheard of.
She turned to Poppy and asked carefully "Are you ready to go?"
Poppy nodded and picked up her phone and bunched up school skirt from the corner she'd stashed it in. Jac led her out of the office, into the lifts and out of the building. As they approached her slate grey BMW, Poppy held back.
"What?" Jac asked, turning back to look at her.
"It's just...are- are you sure?"
Jac smiled at her, properly. The kind she tended to save for Emma. "Yes I'm sure. Get in."
The drive passed in silence. Not an awkward silence though, thought Jac. A comfortable silence.
They pulled up outside a Victorian semi, with a big bay window, not unlike Jac's own house. Poppy fumbled with the seatbelt and stumbled as she climbed out of the car. Jac reached out a hand to steady her, and together they headed to the front door.
Inside, the house was bright. There was a heap of mail on the table by the door. Jac noted a lot of final demand envelopes, and her heart sank. What a complete pile of shit for a 14 year old to have to sort out.
The hallway led one of two ways. Up the stairs, or into the kitchen. It was a cosy space, full of books on dusty shelves, dirty mugs lying about, last nights' dishes in the sink. The air smelt stale.
Poppy stopped in her tracks as she looked around the kitchen "I just can't believe…"
Jac moved over to the kitchen island and picked up what looked like an iPhone charger "Is this yours, Poppy? We should probably make tracks pretty soon,"
Poppy turned back to her with a blank expression, took the charger, and silently walked up the stairs. Jac pondered whether to follow her, and then figured that some privacy might be the best shout.
After about 20 minutes of waiting, Jac lost patience and headed up to find her. Poppy's room was round the corner. It was big, with a bay window and a double bed. She was sitting on the floor with 2 suitcases beside her, covered in clothes and photos. Crying.
Jac crouched down beside her "Poppy, we really have to go. You'll be back with someone in a few weeks to sort everything out properly, I promise"
She wiped her eyes and did that gross snot-smeary crying thing that Emma did and Jac hated, and began to stuff the clothes and photos into the bags. She emptied out her underwear drawer, picked up a jewellery box and a makeup bag, an alarm clock, a couple of books, a pile of what looked like school work, and some toiletries. As Jac took the suitcases downstairs, she noticed Poppy pause at the doorway to her room and watched in horror as she ripped the carefully painted "Poppy's Place" sign off the door, and stomped on it with venom.
Jac waited at the bottom of the stairs, as Poppy picked up the backpack she had abandoned earlier, and carried the suitcases to the car. She headed back inside, switched off lights and sockets in the kitchen, and picked up a framed photo of Poppy and her mother. Jac knew it wasn't her place to take it, but she had a feeling it would be appreciated later.
As Poppy slammed the front door and double locked it, Jac waited quietly in the drivers' seat of the car. Going in to her house had made it real. Possibly too real.
