A/N: And another update! Also introducing another very familiar character, Maria Hill!
Again, I do not own anything.
She doesn't know where she's going.
At such an early hour on a Saturday morning, there's really not much to see around Portland. The streets are quiet and almost quite empty, except for the market vendors and shop owners preparing their own stalls and stores for the next coming hours. She walks along the streets, feeling the cold morning breeze against her face and shuddering as it reaches her skin past her leather coat. She needed a walk, needed some time to clear her mind before any further fight ensues between her and Phil.
She stops at a twenty-four-hour coffee and tea shop and put her hand in the pocket of her coat. Feeling a few bills and coins in her pocket, she steps inside as a small bell rings from above. A man in his fifties appears in the counter and smiles at her.
"Good morning, what can I get you?" he asks, a smile on his face.
"Hot chamomile tea, please." Melinda answers, a small smile on her face. The man punches a few buttons on the cash register and looks back at her.
"Anything else?" he asks. Melinda shakes her head. "Five cents, please." Melinda takes out the coins in her pocket and gives the exactly five cents. "I'll just serve it to you." She nods and takes the booth farthest from the door, in case Phil comes up the idea of finding her.
He wouldn't. She knows he wouldn't. He knows her well enough that if she hides, or if she runs away, there's a clear possible reason why, and that she wouldn't want to be found unless she comes back. There's this slight tug, however, inside her that wants Phil to come and find her, to tell her he was wrong and maybe allow her to join S.H.I.E.L.D.
She definitely wants to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D.
A woman about a few years older than Melinda enters the coffee shop without Melinda even noticing it. She is too busy revelling in her own thoughts and sentiments that she doesn't notice when the woman slowly approaches her. "Melinda May?" the woman asks. Melinda looks up and widens her eyes realising that it's—
"Maria Hill." she says, standing up abruptly. Maria smiles and looks at Melinda.
"I must say, I never really expected to find you in Portland," she says. Melinda gives her a small smile. "I could see, however, that it's far from New York. Far from, you know, S.H.I.E.L.D."
"I never expected to see you here at all," Melinda replies. "You're in a mission?"
Maria nods, gesturing at the seat in front of Melinda. Melinda nods and Maria takes a seat, and so does Melinda. "Undercover mission. I've been here since three days ago. How are you?"
"Good," Melinda replies. "I mean I know it's just been a year since we graduated from the Academy but I've been fine. You?"
"Busy unlike you," Maria replies. "Been in S.H.I.E.L.D. the last three years since I graduated. Undercover missions, combat ops, you name every term you've learned at the Academy, they're all real, alright." Melinda chuckles. "How's Phil?"
Right. "He's good, he's back at our apartment." Melinda says, hoping that Maria does not take in the hint of the fight prior to Melinda's presence in the coffee shop.
"I take the morning's been rough for you, huh?" Maria asks. Melinda looks down at her cold hands. The man brings in Melinda's chamomile tea and Maria's brewed coffee and toasted pretzel. The two women thank the man silently as he walks away from the women's booth. "What's it about this time?" Maria asks, taking a sip from her coffee but never leaving her eyes off Melinda.
"S.H.I.E.L.D." Melinda answers, wrapping her cold hands around the mug. Maria sets down her mug of coffee and looks at her friend.
"Let me guess," Maria starts. Melinda looks up at her. "You're considering coming back, but you're afraid of leaving Phil and leaving the chance to have a normal life. You told Phil, Phil freaks out and now you're here." Melinda's eyes widen. "No details, I might give out the wrong ones." Maria adds, taking a bite from her pretzel.
Melinda is silent for a moment. She sips from her tea and sighs. "When you joined S.H.I.E.L.D., it never occurred to you that you're throwing away the chance to have a normal life?" Melinda asks, looking at her friend who tilts her head and sets down her pretzel on her plate.
"It did. The more reason why I had to join S.H.I.E.L.D.," she says. "This normal life every civilian lives, it's not for me. I can't do that. I can't be normal. That's why it was never such a big deal for me to abandon that chance."
"You never considered having a normal life?" Melinda asks.
"May, I've never had a normal life before," Maria tells her. "Not the normal traditional way the others would consider, I guess. My mom died, my dad blamed me for her death, my childhood was rough and that's not normal. Why will I have to search for a normal life when I never really knew what 'normal' is?"
Melinda stares at Maria before she lets her eyes fall on her tea. Maria raises an eyebrow and leans back on her seat. "Do you really want normal, Melinda?" Maria asks her, making Melinda look up at her again.
"I don't know what normal is, Maria." Melinda admits softly. "I got carried away when Phil decided that he wanted a normal life with me so I agreed to do it with him but now…" she trails off, and sighs, running a hand through her hair. "Now I don't know what I want anymore." she finishes.
Maria sighs. "May, I'm not really actually good at pep talk and you know that," she says. Melinda chuckles. "So I'm just going to say that S.H.I.E.L.D. really needs someone like you. You'd make an outstanding specialist, trust me. And if that's what you really want, then to hell what Coulson says, do what you want."
"I'll have to leave him, Maria." she whispers. Maria finishes her pretzel and cup of coffee before looking at her friend in the eyes.
"The feeling would be gone by the time you're in the field, May. And all you could ever think about was the number of lives you've left and gone while protecting the world from another dangerous world." she says, standing up. "It'll be easier, trust me."
Melinda sighs and stands up, Maria faces her. "I'll think about it." she says. Maria gives her a small smile and extends her hand to Melinda. Melinda takes it as the two shake hands. Maria lets go.
"I'll see you in New York in a few months, May." she says, with a wink as she exits the coffee shop. Melinda watches her friend leave and swallows. She doesn't know how to tell Phil this.
Or maybe she won't have to.
She finishes her mug of tea and leaves the coffee shop as she walks back to their apartment building.
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