A.N.: Written for MissMiako's Fic me contest on aarin, the third and final round. It can be regarded as sequel of Captured (but it can also stand alone). I do hope that the character's are not OOC, I tried to keep them true to themselves as much as I could regarding the circumstances.
Pairing: Dino/Hibari
Rating: M
Genre: Farytale - I but I don't know if you would be able to guess which fairytale is the base for this story.
About: Hibari is troubled by what he had done and has problems with facing the reality.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine.
Betaed by awesome Diluain
Flying on the edge of sanity
Hibari Kyoya fisted his hands, his short and dirty fingernails bit into softness of his palm.
Dark crimson red. Everything was crimson red, even the black tendril wrapped around him that grew stronger and stronger with each passing day had a crimson red at its edges.
Crimson red.
It used to be so pretty.
"Kyoya-san."
So pretty.
"Kyoya-san!"
"Hibari-san. Are you ok? Is he ok? What's wrong with him?"
"Tsuna, don't get to close to him."
But now the crimson red was a mark of his sin now. If he closed his eyes he could see the trail of dried blood on Dino's skin like it had happened yesterday, the image haunting him almost as much as those green eyes full of hatred.
"Hibari-san! What are you doing? Get him away from me. Get… get him away. Reborn!"
Something hit Hibari directly on his forehead and the redness withdrew, making room for a sharp, painful clearness. He blinked and looked down at young brunette, Tsunayoshi Sawada, who was peeking at him through the shield of his arms.
Hibar sat back on his heels, his fingers combing the wild mess of his black hair. What was he doing?
"You look like hell." Reborn, a small baby dressed in a black suit and Fedora , said. The gun in his hand changed into the small camelon who then hid into his pocket. "When was the last time you slept or ate?"
Hibari hugged himself. He couldn't remember really. Tetsu Kusakabe, the man who always stood beside him no matter what he did, always forced food on him and carried him to the bed whenever he was too fatigued to resist, but he couldn't really remember when was the last time that Tetsu had done that.
Not that it mattered when. Nothing mattered anymore- how could it, when the beast inside him was howling in pain, in loneliness, when the emptiness was clawing him from the inside, when the only thing that gave him rest from those accusing green eyes was redness? Crimson hollow redness.
"Kyoya-san." A tall, wide-shouldered shadow appeared over Hibari and a big hand dropped on Hibari's shoulder. "You need help."
Hibari pulled himself up. He didn't need help, he needed Dino, needed his kindness and sunny nature to fill the emptiness and his warmth to chase away the ice that held him in a tight spell. But he had lost Dino in one swift moment of desperate need. Hurt him and pushed him away. "Is that why you brought them here?"
"I'm sorry."
"You can't help me." Hibari rubbed his temples, the sharp pain hammering in his skull just above his eyebrows forced him to grimace. He focused his gaze on the top of the buildings seen from the Namimori High school's roof, the familiar sight soothing like a caress of the mother he'd never had. Like Dino's caress.
Dino.
But that Dino didn't exist anymore. That Dino was gone, lost like the fragments of memories of the two of them that had, with just one hit on the head, been erased from Dino's mind.
And all that was left was hate. And the redness. And the crimson hollow.
"I'm think there's something broken." Hibari looked at Reborn, his fingers still at his temples, the nails scratching the skin. "And I can't put it back together. I can't seem to..."
"Hibari-san." Tsuna stepped closer, he reached out, his hand touched Hibari's arm for a second before he withdrew it under Hibari's glare. "It's going to be alright. I'll help you. We all will, no matter what it is. We will fix it."
Hibari hung his head. What could the kid do? Not much. And he didn't trust him, he didn't trust anybody, not really, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered and anything was better than this feeling of incompetence, of lacking and being a monster, and the never-ending thirst for crimson red. So he took the hand that was offered and found himself sitting in a brown leather armchair before a fragile-looking antique desk.
The woman sitting across him, in a white shirt and black skirt, her black hair slicked into a bun , probed him with question after question, the wrinkle between her brows growing deeper and deeper with each unanswered question.
Did Dr. -, Hibari crossed his arms and leaned closer to see the name written on the golden bar on the table -,Dr. Philips really expect from him to bare his soul to her? To confide in her his biggest fears, when he didn't even know what they were? This was not only useless, but getting boring besides. The pain accelerated the rhythm of its dance inside his skull and the need to feel bones cracking under his steel became stronger and stronger. He stood up.
"Where are you going? We haven't even begun yet."
"I'm done."Hibari turned and went toward the door.
"We haven't even talked about your former tutor."
"My former tutor?" Hibari's fingers wrapped around the door knob, his eyes fixed on the white door. His hands itched for the familiar feel of the steel in his grip, but Reborn had taken his tonfas away from him.
"Dino Chiavorone." Dr. Philips said. "Mr. Reborn said that you started to act strange after his abduction and loss of memory."
Hibari took a deep breath. Why did the air suddenly seem heavy and suffocating? The knuckles holding the knob turned white.
"He also said, that after Mr. Chiavorone's return to Italy you started to suffer insomnia and have violent tantrums, which you actually don't even remember. Do you even know that in the space of a few weeks, you put more than hundred people in the hospital and caused more than ten million yen of damage? It's a wonder nobody has died, yet, and that you didn't end in prison." Dr. Philips stood up, Hibari could hear the screeching noise her chair made when it was pushed backward. "So, be reasonable and come back. We need to talk about what happened between you and Mr. Chiavorone."
She didn't know!
She couldn't.
Nobody knew. Nobody. Except Kusakabe, who cleaned up the mess and took care of Dino and him. Kusakabe knew his sin, had seen the marks of his deed.
The trail of crimson red.
Hibari's hand flew toward his throat, shoving aside the tie around the collar of his crisp white shirt. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe.
And the beast roared.
xxx
"No, we can't let them take him away!"
"There's nothing we can do, Tsuna. He completely destroyed Dr. Philips's office and injured more than ten people. Even put a few of them in a coma. We are lucky the authorities only demand that he gets treated."
"But, Reborn, to lock him into a lunatic asylum…"
"It's either that or he gets prosecuted."
"No. No asylum." Hibari lying on the hospital bed, his limbs restricted with a straightjacket, opened his eyes. His eyelids felt sticky and his mind swam in a pink, fluffy fog.
"You are awake?" Reborn jumped on the bed. "Do you understand what is happening?"
"I… People hurt."
Reborn nodded. "Do you remember anything?"
Hibari furrowed his brows together, he focused, tried to clear the confusion in his head and grasp the pieces of images and broken cries behind the fog, but all he got was a sharp pain and crimson red. He shook his head.
"You really lost it this time." Reborn said.
"You were like a Godzilla destroying everything before you." Tsuna stepped closer to the bed, his eyes huge in his face.
"Calling him Godzilla. Kick the guy when he's down, why don't you, Tsuna?" Reborn looked over his shoulder at Tsuna.
"No, that's not… I'm sorry." Tsuna lifted his hands and waved them. "I didn't mean to insult Hibari-san. No, no, nothing like that."
Reborn rolled his eyes, he turned back to Hibari. "I tried to get a psychiatrist to work with you in the temple, so that you would be locked in the temple rather than the lunatic asylum, but they are too afraid of you. For now there is nothing I can do. You will have to -"
"Maybe not. Hibari-san doesn't have to end up in the assulum." Dr. Philips said from the door. A purple bruise marred the side of her smoothed her hair in its bun and stepped over the threshold, her high heels clicking on gray tiles while she came closer to the bed. "I got a call yesterday. Dr. Grayorder from Germany, a world renowned specialist in violent traumas is interested in Hibari's case and he is willing to provide a space and his time for Hibari, if you are willing."
"Does that mean that you won't press charges against Hibari?" Tsuna asked.
"Since he only destroyed my furniture and the only injury I got was from the piece that flew my way, if you put Hibari in Dr. Grayorder's care, I'll even put in a good word for him at the hearing of the incident. "
Reborn looked down at Hibari. "Hibari?"
Hibari curled into a ball, hating the white fabric and belts that held his arms immobile and the fact that his mind was a tumble of thoughts that didn't make any sense. He could understand what the talk was about though, sort of. "Alone?"
Dr. Philips nodded. "Yes, I told him your dislike of society, he is willing to provide isolated accommodation for you."
"Hibari also likes high spaces." Tsuna said. "If you could do something about that…"
"It's not a certain thing that we're taking Dr. Gray-whatever's offer." Reborn jumped off the bed.
"Are you sure you can afford to decline it?" Dr. Philips said.
"I... take it. " Hibari rolled onto his side, his eyes on the ceiling, small black dots appearing before his eyes. As long as he stayed out of the cramped building of prison or the madhouse it didn't really matter where he was.
Xxx
Lying on a reclining chair on the metalwork- framed balcony, Hibari stared at the blue, cloudless sky. He was flying on a white, fluffy cloud, his body felt relaxed and weightless, and the bloodthirsty beast and the headache were just a distant memory. All thanks to the happy pills.
The sound of the elevator, the only way of getting to the top of the tower where his room was, drew his gaze toward the white capsule attached to the outside wall. Lunch time? He looked back at the sky. Did it really matter?
The capsule stopped at the balcony's level and the metal door opened. A middle-aged blond man with thin mustache on his tanned face, in a white coat and with a thin black briefcase in left hand pressed a few numbers on the dial by the barred door that led to the balcony and the door slid open. He stepped through it onto the balcony, followed by two bulky men dressed in white trousers and shirts and a woman carrying a tray with food.
"Good afternoon, Hibari-san." The blond man, the doctor, stopped beside Hibari, the two men behind him, while the woman carried the tray into the room. "Could you, please, sit up?"
When Hibari continued staring upwards, completely ignoring him, the doctor gestured to the men behind him and they went forward, one to each side of the recliner chair. They grabbed Hibari under his armpits and pulled him up into a sitting position.
A small frown appeared on Hibari's lips and he focused his eyes on the doctor's brownish ones.
"Always sulking. Is it really necessary for you to behave like this?" The doctor took Hibari's left arm and rolled up the thin, cotton shirt sleeve.
Hibari tilted his head and pulled his arm out of the doctor's hold. The quack was bothering him again. He bared his teeth and a growl started to rumble in his throat.
"Don't irritate me." The doctor sat beside Hibari on the reclining chair and the man nearest him pushed a low table that was by the wall toward them. The doctor put his briefcase on the table and opened it. "If you don't cooperate I just might withdraw the tablets and we will have another session with my drug cocktail made specially for you." His lips turned into a half-smirk."Would you like that?"
"No."
"I didn't think so. I don't know why, though." The doctor's smirk grew. "We could revisit your sweet memory of your lover's rape, of how he begged you to stop and, like the monster that you were, blind for everything but..."
"Stop it!" Hibari's eyes and mouth became thin lines, the ribbon of crimson redness tore the bluish surface of calm, clearing his head of the comfortable fog, and filled it with images that he didn't want to see.
The doctor, as soon as he got his hands on him, filled him with things that released Hibari's beast, that formed his darkest, half-forgotten secrets and shaped the fears he hid even from himself and spilled everything forward. He didn't remember more than half of the things he told the doctor and he was glad for that, he didn't want to know them, he didn't want to remember and he didn't want to face them. If only the doctor wouldn't pull them out and throw them into his face, laughing at him, every time Hibari showed resistance or disobeyed. He pushed the doctor away, his arms feeling unusually heavy, useless, his body obeying him with a two-second delay.
"Or what?" The doctor took a palm-sized display out of his pocket and pressed a few buttons. The red light that beeped at the left upper corner turned green, and he put it on beside the briefcase. "What are you going to do, you selfish brat? You are so filled with drugs that even if you tried to strike me, you would miss your mark." He grabbed Hibari's arm again and nodded to his men.
They stepped closer and one took hold of Hibari's shoulders and free arm, while the other one wrapped his fingers around Hibari's legs.
"Your body, so fragile, filled with pills, but still strong. It's fascinating. So wasted on the likes of you." The doctor caressed the underside of Hibari's arm before he firmly grabbed Hibari's wrist, turned it and pulled on the knot of transparent thread in the middle of Hibari's forearm. A small bump became visible under Hibari's skin where the fabric of Hibari's shirt was rolled up and the bump moved under the skin with every pull the doctor made, until it stopped at the small hole in the skin, which, with the help of the scalpel, he enlarged. The doctor pulled out a nail-sized metal bug from the wound and held it between his fingers for a moment. "But hopefully this little device will tell me what gives you so much power and with time I will be able produce people as strong as you."
Hibari could feel perspiration on his forehead. Even through the layers of indifference and comfort that the pills had given him, the pain showed its sharp teeth, but even that hurt much less than the insertion of the device did, when the tiny metal legs thrust into the unprotected flesh of the sinews and climbed over them, scanning, poking, gathering and recording the information traveling in impulses through his muscles every time he moved. And there were four more to be extracted. And five new one to replace the old ones. When the first one was inserted Hibari bit into his lip, when the second one was inserted his lip started to bleed and at the fourth one the first scream escaped his throat.
xxx
It was dark outside and Hibari lay on the wooden floor of the two-by-two meter padded room, with a single bed and bedside table on one side and a chest of drawers, table and two chairs on one side, lit with a wall lamp over the head of the bed. He crawled toward the bed, his movement slow and jerky as he pulled himself onto the bed. His thin bluish shirt was damp at his back and under his armpits. He took the box of pills from the bedside table, the pills that made him forget and let him be at peace, then curled on the foot of the bed, half-leaning against the wall so that he could gaze through the window and its protective wire netting, over the forest and fields that surrounded the high tower.
He opened the box and took a blue, triangular pill and pink one out from the box's compartments and popped them into his mouth, then closed the box and tossed it to the head of the bed. He was pathetic, enduring those 'examinations', almost obeying that quack and allowing him to get in his head, all so that after that herbivore said goodbye there was a day's worth of pills waiting for him on his bedside table. So pathetic.
Why couldn't he just face...? It wasn't the first burden on his conscience and it probably wouldn't be the last, so why couldn't he face what he had done? Was his mind really this feeble, weak thing that he couldn't accept the violence he had inflicted upon somebody he loved? Or was the outcome of his action what he couldn't face, not just the loss of the only person he loved and cared for, but the hate that replaced the quiet affection that always shone from those green irises? The affection that always wrapped him into a safe haven, that melted the frozen shield around his heart. He needed it, he still needed Dino's affection so much, but there was only hate now.
He hugged his knees, staring out of window waited for the pills to wrap him into their comfortable embrace, and only then did he climb under the blanket and lay his head on the pillow.
He expected a dreamless night, but in the middle of the night a voice softly calling his name woke him up from his colorless sleep and he lay there, listening to Dino's voice, the wonderful deep sound that could wrap around him like the fluffiest blanket, that could ease his mind like no pill could. The darkness closed down on him and there outside the window was a beacon of light and he knew that it was a dream. All just a realistic dream, nothing more. And why did it hurt so much? So deep? The pain stabbing its blade through him, over and over again, and the beast tried to lift its head and break through the chains of the pink and blue calm, crimson redness fought to burst out into the open, not that it could penetrate the thick armour created by drugs.
Over the following nights, Hibari had the same dream, with Dino's voice becoming more persistent and louder and no matter how much he squeezed his hands over his ears the voice was still there, taunting him, seducing him, begging to be acknowledged.
In the end he answered its call, he opened his eyes and the light coming from outside lighted his whole room and there behind the glass was a shadow, a familiar frame riding a fire and those eyes, those eyes were looking at him, and he couldn't look back, afraid of what he knew he would find there. He pulled the blanket over his head, curled into a ball and desperately tried to wake up from this... nightmare.
Sleep become something to be afraid of, the whiteness of Hibari's skin adopted a gray tone and even though he napped through the day, the tiredness sank into his bones. The fear of hearing the voice, of being confronted with the hate in those gentle eyes became bigger and bigger with each night, no, with each hour, minute and second before nightfall, and even though he stayed wide awake under the covers, and even though the pill's armour was still there, the voice still came calling him.
And then when he thought that it couldn't get any worse, the sound of metal sliding against the wall, the beeping sound of the elevator and the clatter of the rods was all the warning he got, before the door of his room opened.
Hibari knew it was him, he could feel his presence and his hands clutching the fabric of the blanket, he held it tightly over his head. "Go away. Go away!"
"Kyoya?" The door was closed and the steps drew nearer.
"Go away! Go away! Please, leave me alone!"
"Oh, Kyoya." The mattress dipped and a hand touched Hibari's head.
"Please. Please." Why did his mind feel clearer than normal? He need the pink fog in his head, lots and lots of pinkish and bluish fog.
"I can't." A body leaned over Hibari, a warm chest touched his side, a cheek was pressed against the top of his head and arms wrapped around Hibari's body.
"Please." It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Why did it feel so real?
A hand peeled the blanket away from Hibari. "Look at me."
"No!" Hibari buried his face into the pillow, his eyes squeezed shut.
"C'mon." A hand cupped his nape.
"NO." Hibari held onto the pillow. It was a dream. He knew that. And why was it so hard to even lift his head and look though the darkness into the face he loved?
The fingers tugged, pulled until they had his head cupped between them and they lifted it from the pillow, Hibari's body following. "Oh, Kyoya. What have you done to yourself? Look how skinny and pale you are." The thumbs caressed the lines of his jaw, before a soft kiss was pressed to his forehead. "I leave you just for a minute and look what you do to yourself." Another kiss. "Open your eyes."
Hibari could feel a wet trail on his cheeks and a salt taste on his lips. The touch of Dino's hands felt so real, so solid. "I... I can't."
"Why not?" The arms wrapped around Hibari's body and pulled him into a warm embrace.
"You hate me."
"I don't hate you." The hand slid over Hibari's back, caressing, patting.
"I raped you. After you have been kidnapped and lost your memory of us, I raped you."
"Yes, you had sex with me without my consent, and you even topped, which in normal circumstances I wouldn't mind, but - Kyoya, I know how you are, how you lash out when you are hurt and how you act before thinking things through. I don't think you meant to hurt me. You wanted for me to remember, didn't you? You just went about it the wrong way. You were selfish and childish, but only because you are insecure and fragile under your cold exterior. How could I hold that against you?"
Hibari eyes flew open. "I'm forgiven?" In the light of the moon he drank in the sight of golden curls and the green eyes which once again shone down on him with soft affection.
"Of course you are." Dino gave him a smile, his fingers wiping the flow of tears from Hibari's cheeks.
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
Hibari wrapped his arms around Dino's middle and hid his face against Dino's chest. He held on tight. It was a dream, just a dream, but a good dream, not a nightmare, a good dream. He closed his eyes. He had to hold on tight, he had to bask in Dino's warmth and deeply inhale his scent because good dreams were like wisps of smoke, so easily dispersed. "I love you."
"I know." Dino pulled Hibari higher on his chest. "Now get some sleep."
But he was already sleeping, Hibari wrinkled his forehead for a moment, not that that prevented him from making himself more comfortable in Dino's lap, clinging to him, wishing for this dream to never end.
And when he woke up in the morning, he imagined that Dino's scent still lingered on his sheets and his mind was calmer and clearer than it had been in a long time, and the beast which paced restlessly in the mornings when the pills wore off was now contentedly napping inside his soul.
Even the doctor, when sitting across from him durin their morning check-up, noticed a change in him as he scanned the length of Hibari's body, here and there clicking on the display he held in his hand. "Somebody woke up on the right side of the bed this morning."
Hibari turned away and focused his gaze on the window across from the table. The thirst for blood had withdrawn from the surface and hidden in the depths of his being because of one wonderful dream. It might be just temporary thing, but it meant that he didn't need the comfort of drugs anymore. So why was he sitting here? Why hadn't he already stepped through those metal doors and left this place?
"Ignoring me, I see." The doctor glanced in Hibari's direction, before his eyes were back on the display. "You're in need of some behavior adjustments. I wish I had time to teach you manners, but I'm too busy. I still haven't gone through all the data from the previous data collectors." He pushed a few buttons on the display, "And since there seems to be enough energy left in the data-collector in you for at least two days, I'll leave them in for now."
"Whatever." Maybe it was time to go. There was nothing for him here anymore. The green eyes had stopped hunting him for now and he should try to gather the courage to face Dino and to apologize. And then pick up the pieces of his life and learn to go on without Dino's presence in his life. Just the though of that sped up his heart and a cold dread wrapped itsfist around his heart.
"You should exercise, I need to see how your muscles are able to avoid changes in Ph. That's the reason why you don't get tired in fights. Maybe it's even the base for your strength." The doctor put a hand on Hibari's shoulders. "You lost weight and energy, probably due to the adjustment to treatment and the data-collectors, the exercise will have to wait for now."
Hibari pushed the hand away. "I don't intend to stay."
"Even if you could escape from the tower and extract the data-collectors without harming the muscles, what are you going to do? Go home and release your aggression on your town again?" The doctor crossed his legs and chuckled. "Don't spurt nonsense."
"I'm not." Hibari glared at the man, he fisted his hand. "I'll bite-"
With the back of his hand the doctor slapped Hibari, the force of his blow snapping Hibari's head back. "Enough nonsense! I don't think you get it. I own you now." The doctor stood up and pressed a few keys on his display.
"Nobody owns me!" Hibari jumped up only to snap down on the floor like a puppet without its strings.
"I do." The doctor towered over Hibari. "Look at you. You can't even move because I pressed a few buttons. My little bugs don't just collect information, but can also cut the commands that travel from your brain to your muscles."
"I'll pull them out." Hibari gritted his teeth and tried to pull himself up from his prone position, with no success.
"And tear all your sinews. You'll become an invalid if you do that." The doctor pulled a small box from the pocket of his lab coat. He opened it and took four tablets from it, a pink, a blue, and two yellow., then squatted down beside Hibari. "I made a new mixture for you. I had your wariness in mind when I prepared it, but with an increased dose it should work for your obedience very well too." He squeezed Hibari's nose and when Hibari opened his mouth to breathe, he pushed the tablets deep in his throat, leaving Hibari no other choice but to swallow them. He patted Hibari's cheek. "Good boy." Then with a smirk he lifted himself up and removed himself from Hibari's sight.
After a time Hibari could feel somebody picking him up and putting him on the bed, he heard the rustle and the sound of moving, he could hear the door opening and closing, but he couldn't see anything clearly anymore. The world became a blur of colors dancing before his eyes. They were pretty, so pretty and bright. He reached out, tried to touch them, but his hand passed right through them.
The time was ticking away, and the colors hushed in the soft pastels. He could feel people around him here and there, feel the needles and pain and the movement of metal under his skin. He was fed, the spoon carried into his mouth and his throat swallowed the food automatically, he was guided into the bathroom, where he was put on the toilet and he was washed under the soft spray of water, before he was put back into bed in clean clothes.
Each time the colors became washed and worn out, somebody must have pushed another batch of pills into his mouth, because the colors became bright again. Pretty, so pretty.
After everything hushed down, when the colors darkened he could feel a familiar touch and hear a familiar voice at the edge of the colors trying to snap him out of the rainbow. It was that dream again. When he reached out, his hands bumped against the solid warm body. He wrapped his arms around it and held onto it. The world of colors started to spin around in his head, the brightness washing out in the centrifuge of the day, becoming gray and black and white, only to explode into green, yellow, red, blue and all the tones in between. Time didn't have any meaning anymore, nothing did, except those arms that sometimes shook him, but mostly held him, and that beloved voice that sometimes sounded almost desperate.
Hibari didn't know how many days passed, his mind felt sluggish and his limbs heavy as the colors wore out and the black, grey and white blur cleared so he could see the shapes of objects again. He stared at the ceiling, not even blinking at the strong light that shone down on him from the round ceiling light. He heard the steps walking around, two different sets and when the blond-haired head of that herbivore came into the line of his vision and as the fingers pried open his mouth and stuffed in the tablets, washing them down with a glass of water, he lay passive, his eyes unfocused. The only thing he did was to push the pills under his tongue. After the room emptied, he stumbled in the dark into the bathroom and spit them into the toilet.
He laid his head on the cold tiled wall for a moment, before he picked himself up, took a sip of tap water and dragged himself back into the room, where he crawled onto the bed and under the blanket. He felt beaten, tired and useless. He closed his eyes, his fingers sliding over the the inside of his forearm, higher over the shoulder, and stopped when he felt a solid round bump under his fingertip at the end of the collarbone. The data-collector. He pressed against it and winced when the tiny legs dug deeper into his sinews. First thing in the morning he had to figure out how to get rid of them.
xxx
Hibari opened his eyes, he blinked in the darkness. Something had awkened him. The mattress dipped and a warm body climbed under the covers and hands wrapped him into a tight embrace.
No, he wasn't awake, he was having that wonderful dream again.
Hibari pulled himself up, reached out and cupped Dino's jaw. He pressed his mouth against Dino's and pushed his tongue between Dino's lips. It felt so real. He pressed himself closer, he clung to Dino almost desperately, while his mouth was devouring, tasting the sunshine and warmth. He missed this so much.
Dino pushed him back. "Kyoya, you are -"
"Please." Hibari pressed his lips against Dino's again, his hands sliding down Dino's shoulders, arms and over Dino's hips. The perfect Dino with his everlasting affection, with his unconditional love, with the warmth that could overflow him and wash away all the cold, and which managed to melt the frozen shield that Hibari had built over the years. And even in dreams just a hint of Dino's presence without the hate in his eyes still had the same effect. Still deep in a heady, ravishing kiss, Hibari tugged Dino's shirt up. This had to come off. He wanted to feel Dino's skin under his palms. No, he needed to feel it. He needed to touch, to be touched, to splay his fingers over Dino's body and marvel at the soft skin and hard muscles.
In the blur of motion and caresses the clothes were off and they ended up somewhere on the floor.
Dino tried to slow down them, but as long as Hibari's caresses were reciprocated and as long as Dino didn't struggle against his advances, Hibari pushed forward.
Hibari skin burned, an electrified lust pumped through his veins, faster and faster, all the blood gathering in his loins as he moved under Dino's body, creating a friction between them, between their erections. His hands slid over every inch of Dino's skin he could touch, his mouth either on Dino's or on Dino's neck. He wanted his so much, needed him, he wanted to feel him everywhere, around him, inside him. "Dino. Please."
"Impatient as always." Dino pressed a kiss on Hibari's nose, he moved away from Hibari and fumbled with something on the floor. He was back before Hibari's whimper could change into a groan and he pushed his greased fingers into Hibari.
Hibari arched under the intrusion, it had been so long since he had been touched like that and it was just as he remembered, so hot and slick and those fingers could hit his spot so amazingly well. He tightly wrapped his arms around Dino's neck. It felt so real, but it was still just a dream. Dino wasn't his anymore and all that was left was dreams and memories. That was all, just dreams and memories.
Dino positioned himself in the cradle of Hibari's wide-open legs and slid into him and for the moment everything stilled, except their breaths which were mingling, becoming faster, becoming shallower. Then he moved. Pushing into him, so slowly and gently that Hibari wanted to cry, because if Dino still loved him, that was the way he would show his love. With gentle kisses, with gentle caresses and with the gentle rocking of his hips.
Hibari whispered his love and his apologies into Dino's ear as kisses rained on his face and neck, moving with Dino's thrusts, riding on the cloud of carnal pleasure higher and higher, wishing for this feel of perfection and completion to last forever, to be forever one with Dino. "I love you... so much. So much. Please. Please, don't... don't ever leave me. Don't ever leave me."
"I won't." Dino's plunges gained in strength and speed, his hand snaked between them and his fingers wrapped around Hibari's erection.
Hibari could feel the shivers at the beginning of his spine. His whole body tensed and his fingers clawed at Dino's back as he was thrown high into the sky. He could see stars shining through the darkness so brightly that that his eyes hurt, but he refused to close them. In the darkness he stared into the face above him, trying to memorize the outlines of Dino's face as much as he could, not letting him go even after Dino froze and emptied himself deep inside him, not letting him even after Dino's weight started to suffocate him.
"Kyoya, I'm too heavy for you." Dino tried to withdraw, but when Hibari didn't let him go, he turned them over, so that Hibari was resting on him.
Still having Dino inside Hibari made himself comfortable, never wanting to wake up again. He closed his eyes. Why couldn't he stay like this forever?
xxx
"Kyo-chan, baby. Wake up." Soft kisses were bestowed on Hibari's face.
Hibari yawned and turned on his side. "Give me five more minutes." He pulled a pillow over his head. "And don't call me Kyo-chan, Dino. You know that I hate it." Then his eyes flew open. Dino. He pushed the pillow away, turned on his back and stared at Dino's face smiling down on him. "D...Dino?" He blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out if this was real. He bit into his lower lip to the point of pain. No, he wasn't dreaming, was he? He reached out, his fingers embraced the side of Dino face. "Am I dreaming again?"
"I'm not sure. Are you? Are you still sleeping?" Dino shifted, he lay beside Hibari, leaned on his elbow and looked at Hibari with his head on his hand. "You sleepy head. You know, I'm used of you falling asleep right after it, but to fall asleep with me still inside you and you covered with cum. That's a first." He bent down, his nose touched Hibari's, his eyes glistening with benevolence down on Hibari. "You must have been really tired."
"All that happened...It wasn't a dream?" Hibari asked. Then he whispered to himself, "It wasn't a dream." All those times when he thought that he was dreaming about Dino, Dino had really been by his side? And he forgave him? His eyes searched Dino's. "You don't hate me anymore? And you don't have amestia anymore? You remember us?"
"Of course I don't hate you. I love you." Dino pressed a quick kiss on Hibari's lips, then straightened. "And yes, I remember. It all came back a few weeks after I arrived in Italy. Then I understood why you forced yourself on me and why you looked so broken afterwards. You were desperately trying to make me remember us, but it didn't work, you only worsen the situation. You even made me hate you for a while." Dino combed black hair out of Hibari's face. "I called you to tell you that my memory came back and that I understand why you did it and that I still love you, but you weren't answering your phone. I called Reborn then, and he told me that you went berserk and that you were out of control, and that since you got violent just when somebody mentioned my name, I better not come to Japan. I came anyway, but they didn't want to tell me where you were. Then some things happened..."
Hibari moved closer to Dino, his fingers slid higher, he ran them though Dino's golden curls, which were now slicked at the sides of the head, long at the back and a long tassel fell over Dino's brow. He looked more sophisticated now.
"I don't know if you know this since you were sort of absent. A new family, Gesso, turned up. They were the ones that kidnapped me. After my memory returned, I didn't just remember us, but also that the kidnappers had demanded that my family joins theirs. At the time I didn't know the name of the family, but since I wasn't able to see you and since the man I put in charge of the kidnapping investigation was a failure, I amused myself by following the trail the kidnappers left. It leaded me to the Gesso family. They are really hungry for power and they will do anything to get it."
Hibari pressed his cheeks against Dino's chest and deeply inhaled the smell of summer grass and honey and all that was Dino. He was his rock, so forgiving and loving and... He didn't deserve him. He really didn't. "Do you really still love me? Even after that?"
"I said I did. Now, let me finish-"
"How can you? How can you forgive me?"
"I already told you, I understand why you did it. Yes, you hurt me, but I think you hurt yourself more. And you've punished yourself enough. Agreeing to be locked up and to become a test subject, that's not something that I would expect from you."
"I wasn't punishing myself or trying to redeem myself." Hibari said. He had to be truthful, he was actually a coward who wasn't able to face what he had done. "I was running away. I couldn't ... I couldn't accept the look of hatred you gave me, but it was always before my eyes, telling me that I had lost you and it was my own fault. I never meant to hurt you."
"I know."
"I just wanted for you to remember us."
"I know."
"I just wanted...I need your love. I can't be without…"
"I know, baby, I know." Dino leaned down and entangled them into a warm, gentle kiss, then after the kiss ended he gave Hibari's cheek a soft caress. "You love me, I know that. And I love you, you know that and if not, I'm telling you now, again. And so that you know, I'm going to demand compensation for the anxiety you put me though with your violent outbursts and for when you were like a lifeless doll and I didn't know what to do. But right now,could you please return to Hibari Kyoya mode where you call everybody, except me, »herbivores,« because, baby, if my observations are correct, you have a house call in an hour. And from a doctor who works for Gesso family. I suspect that even Dr. Philips works for them." He sat up. "I do have the combination and a glove with the doctor's fingerprints, to get into the elevator, but we need to hurry."
Hibari nodded. Because of his shaking and weak limbs he washed and changed his clothes with Dino's help. He cast a last look around the room, but there was nothing that would belonged to him in this room. Then, holding the pleats of the shirt on Dino's back, because he refused to be carried or to lean on Dino, they went to the door.
Dino opened the door, and there sitting in the recliner chair was the doctor, his two bulky men behind him.
Hibari could see him over Dino's shoulder and with all the strength that was left in his body, he slammed his right shoulder against the doorjamb. His face grimaced and he could feel the sharp needles pulsing in his flesh, but as long as he heard the snapping sound, the acute pain was worth it.
"Kyoya. Are you ok?" Dino turned, pulled Hibari on his side and wrapped his arm around him.
"Yes." Hibari leaned on Dino, but his eyes were focused on the doctor, on the display he held in his hand.
"You better be, I would hate for my favourite specimen to get injured. Unless I'm the one hurting him." The doctor crossed his legs and with the snap of fingers he gestured to his men to move forward before his fingers pressed the keys on his display.
The men stepped forward at the same time as Hibari's legs gave up on him and he slid down on the floor.
"Kyoya?" Dino's arm shot out and he grabbed the waist of Hibari's trousers, holding him up. "What's wrong?"
"He can cut the impulses between the brain and the muscles."
"It seems that my little pet hasn't told you that I can control him. He's mine now." The doctor stood up.
Still holding Hibari, Dino pulled out his whip from the side pocket of his cargo, and a half-smile appeared on his face. "We'll see about that."
"Dino, put me down."
"No."
"You can't fight with me holding you down." Hibari watched the men that were coming closer, shoulders back and chests puffed. He was glad when Dino slowly put him down on the floor, leaning him on the wall.
With fascination, Hibari watched Dino flourish his whip and charge toward the two men. He could have sworn that the elegance of Dino's steps and body as he attacked and evaded was like a dance of precision and strength and it made him fall in love with Dino all over again. He was so graceful and strong, so, so... Dino.
One man was down, the other not even attacking anymore, just circling Dino, his big body mostly between Dino and Hibari as the doctor sneaked around the balcony, coming toward Hibari.
Hibari guessed the doctor's intention and he hung his head down, a small smile playing on his lips under the cover of black hair.
The doctor reached Hibari. He grabbed the mop of Hibari's hair, hauled his head back and put a knife to Hibari's neck. "Mr. Chiavorone! I have your loverboy here. You better surrender."
The whip fell to the floor.
"You shouldn't have done that, Dino. By now you should know that I can take care of myself." Behind his back Hibari flexed the fingers of his right hand.
Dino stepped aside so that he could have a clear view of Hibari. "Are you sure?"
The corners of Hibari's mouth curved slightly upwards and as Dino kicked his whip so that it flew up in the air, his right fist slammed with all his strength into the doctor's knee. The sound of bones breaking increased the curve of Hibari's lips, he looked at Dino, who in that instant caught the whip's handle and brandished it in the bulky man's direction.
With a cry the doctor dropped to his knees, the knife slashing toward Hibari, but Hibari managed to wrap his fingers around the doctor's hand holding the blade and he wheeled around the doctor's wrist. The knife hit the floor with a thud. Hibari then used his elbow, he slammed it into doctor's chest, once, twice, three times, four times and then just to be on the safe side, he grabbed doctor's short hair and banged his head against the wall. His mind was blank, not even an ounce of thirst in it, a total absence of crimson red, just a sharp clearness and annoyance over the doctor's pleading to stop.
"Kyoya, Kyoya, that's enough." Dino's hand descended to Hibari's shoulder.
Hibari's fingers loosened their grip and the doctor slumped to the floor, face first. He looked around, his gaze searching for doctor's gadget, and found it two meters to his left, thre steps from two unconsciousness piles of flesh. "Dino, could you give me that?" He pointed at the display.
"How did you...? How were you... able to...?" The doctor flipped onto his back, his breath labored and shallow.
Dino nodded, stepped to the side, picked up the thing up and gave it to Hibari.
"I hit my shoulder against the doorjamb on purpose. But I didn't know if the blow destroyed the data-collector or not, not until you used your gadget." Hibari took the display and put in on his lap, browsing through the thing's menu for the off command. Ah, here it is. He chose it and the small shiver traveling though his body told him that he could move his limbs again. He pocketed the device and leaned on the wall behind him. This was a very tiring day.
Dino helped him up and then after a short, heated debate Hibari ended up riding piggy-back on Dino, which was much better than being carried bridal style as was Dino's suggestion. They went into the elevator and traveled down.
Hibari leaned his chin on Dino's shoulder, looking at their reflection on the elevator's surface. "Dino, why didn't you get me out before?"
"When? At first you didn't even want to look at me and then you were like a zombie and since I didn't know why, I decided to wait until I got your blood results back, before I did anything drastic," Dino said, then his lips stretched into a naughty smile. "But even with the way things turned out, you can still call me 'my hero'."
"Hmm."
"No? Oh, well, not that I expected you to, but it would have been nice." The doors opened and Dino stepped through with his burden. He turned right and directed his step toward the forest. "I have a base and a family doctor some fifteen minutes away from here. First lets get rid of that metal in your body, give you a through check-up and then we can go home to Japan."
"Home?"
"Yes, to our apartment."
To their apartment. Warmth enveloped Hibari in a tender embrace. Because they were together again. Because Dino loved him. And because Dino forgave him. He wrapped his arms tighter around Dino's neck, and there inside him a thousand bubbles burst in a rainbow of feelings, overflowing him, suffocating him and he wanted to laugh out loud and cry at the same time. A small, genuine smile bloomed on his face as he leaned his cheek against the side of Dino's head. Dino always asked for so little and gave him so much, the least he could do was humor him here and there. He swallowed the lump in his throat and with an even voice whispered in Dino's ear, "My hero."
