Ghostbusters on trial; nuff said


"Court will begin momentarily," the bailiff informed the people in the courtroom.

On the defendant's side, Andre and Robbie were sitting at a table with Rex, Tori, and Cat gathered around them. "You think maybe you wouldn't be here if Andre hadn't caused a citywide blackout?" Rex inquired.

"How many times do I need to keep apologizin' for that?" Andre yelled in exasperation. "I admitted it was my bad!"

"Besides," Robbie began, "I think this city has it in for us." Robbie nonverbally gestured to the plaintiff side, "or someone who works for the city."

"Dickers!" Andre and Rex observed Dickers talking to an attractive brunette.

"Isn't he the mean guy who tried to shut you guys down?" Cat remembered.

"Yup," the three answered as they glared at Dickers.

"He's mean."

"Aren't you guys worried about Beck?" Tori asked. "He's not here and the trial's gonna start soon."

"Beck's tryin' to get us a lawyer," Andre explained.

"One who would work for free, may I add," Robbie added.

"What happens if you don't find one?" Rex asked.

"Ooh," Cat raised her hand, "I'll be your lawyer."

"God help us all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Sweetie, what Rex is trying to nicely say is it's a good idea for someone with experience in law to be our lawyer, and you don't have lawyer experience" Robbie explained to his girlfriend in a way she could understand.

"I thought I could help."

"And don't think we don't appreciate it."

"My brother once tried to be his own lawyer when he got arrested."

"Not this story again," Andre muttered under his breath.

"What did your brother get arrested for?" Tori inquired with curiosity.

Before Cat could answer, Beck hurried over to the table. "So, what were we talking about?" Beck asked as he sat down.

"Never mind what we were talking about," Robbie changed the subject, "did you find us a free lawyer?"

"Sorta."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Andre asked in panic.

"Hey, that's my thing!" Cat objected.

"It means I did find us a free working lawyer, but he doesn't have an official law degree," Beck explained. "But he knows some stuff about law and he's willing to help us."

Sinjin van Cleef entered the courtroom in a rush carrying a bunch of stuff. "Sinjin?" Andre noted. "You got Sinjin?"

"He's the best we could get."

Sinjin set his stuff down. "Honestly, I think you guys are making a big mistake. I occasionally do tax laws at probate and I'm working on getting my law degree at night school."

"That's okay Sinjin, we got arrested at night." Beck looked toward the plaintiff side. "What's Dickless doing here?"

"Dunno," Andre responded, "but we're seriously thinkin' he might have somethin' to do with us bein' put on trial."

Meanwhile, Dickers was having his own conversation with the female prosecutor. "No pressure or anything Ms. Ferguson but put these guys away fast and make sure they go away for a long, long time."

Hayley Ferguson scoffed as she looked at the Ghostbusters and their lawyer. "Shouldn't be too hard with this list of charges. Plus I got some inside info. The judge we got for this trial used to be the dean at the college where the Ghostbusters were fired from. Being a dean was a part time thing for her, she used to be a judge."

"Used to be?"

"She got fired for her punishments being too cruel. She only got hired back thanks to Daddy using his charm to convince the mayor to bring her back as judge."

Dickers smiled a sly smile. "And with her knowledge of these guys in addition to all the charges a massive sentencing will be in the bag."

"ALL RISE!" The bailiff commanded as the judge made her way to the bench.

"Aww crap," the three original Ghostbusters figured out who the judge was.

"Sit down," Helen ordered. "Before we begin this trial I want to make one thing very clear: the law does not recognize the existence of ghosts, and I don't believe in 'em either. Don't wanna hear a lot of malarkey about goblins and spooks and demons. We're gonna stick to the facts in this case, understood."

"She seems pretty open minded," Rex commented. "Glad I'm not on trial with you guys."

"What's your alibi?" Tori asked.

"I was workin' at the bar; the owner can vouch for me. How 'bout you?"

"I was at the policemen banquet."

Helen banged her gavel. "You three standin' over there, are you on trial?"

"No, your honor."

"Then sit down somewhere or I'll hold you in contempt."

"Good luck guys," Tori waved.

"Yeah, you'll need it," Rex followed her.

"Try not to get arrested okay, Honey" Cat was directing this to Robbie.

"No promises, Darling," Beck joked back.

"I wasn't talking to you Beck…but don't get arrested neither." She leaned in to give Robbie a quick peck on the cheek, "Good luck."

"We'll need it," Robbie commented back to her. Cat blew him another kiss as she took a seat beside Tori.

"What about you," Helen pointed to Dickers, "you on trial?"

Dickers shook his head. "No, your honor, but-"

"Then sit your ass down!"

"Yes, Ma'am." Dickers made his way to the seats, and when he stood beside Beck he said, "Violating a judicial restraining order, willful destruction of public property, fraud, malicious mischief- see you in a couple of years, at your first parole hearing."

Beck smirked at him. "You heard Judge Helen; sit your ass down Dickless."

"DICKERS! MY NAME IS DICKERS!" Helen banged her gavel at him. "Sorry, your honor," Dickers took his seat.

"All right, all right, let's get on with it," Helen continued. "Would the defense care to make its opening remark?"

"Um…okay," Sinjin nervously stood up. "Your Honor," he anxiously looked around "ladies and gentlemen of…of the audience. I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Okay, so the blackout was a big problem for everybody; I was stuck in an elevator for two hours and I really had to pee. But it's not fair to blame these guys because one time I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you." Sinjin took a seat as people in the audience began to snicker.

"Nice job Sinjin; short, but pointless," Robbie commentated as his comrades bemoaned in agony.

"Uhm-hmm," Helen looked at the prosecutor. "Any opening remarks?"

"No, your Honor," Hayley stated. "However, like you, I would like to get this over with so I believe it's best to start calling in witnesses."

"I'll allow it."

"Prosecution calls Mr. Arthur Doty to the stand."

"Who?" Andre whispered.

"That's the utility guy from yesterday who told me where the phone lines were," Beck remembered Arthur. "Why'd they bring him here?"

"Apparently for questioning," Robbie assumed.

After the usual oath was done, Hayley began questioning. "Mr. Doty…"

"Call me Artie," the witness assured.

"…Artie, could you help us to identify some things?"

"Sure."

Hayley went over to the table of exhibits. The first four exhibits were three proton packs and a trap while the last one was the sample of slime Andre got sitting in a glass jar. "Artie, carefully look at exhibits A through E."

"I'm looking."

"Do you recognize this equipment?"

"That's the stuff the cops confiscated from those guys' truck."

"Do you know what this equipment is used for?"

"I think I seen them guys use exhibits A through D when they were catching ghosts."

"Catching ghosts you say?" Artie nodded. "May I remind the court that the defendants are under a judicial restraining order that strictly forbids them from performing services as paranormal investigators or eliminators?" Hayley went to the prosecution table and handed Helen a legal document.

Helen looked over the document. "Noted."

"Now Artie," Hayley went back to the questioning, "the 'Ghostbusters' claimed to have found this substance underground. Can you identify the substance marked Exhibit E?"

"No, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I've never seen that stuff before. I've been doin' my job for over twenty-five years and I never saw anything like this in my life. Whatever they said this was they musta put down there themselves."

"AW HELL NO!" Andre stood up, "NO WE DIDN'T!"

"Andre," Beck and Robbie tried to get him to sit down.

"There was a whole river of that stuff and some freaky tentacle monster lives in that slime and tried to grab me."

Helen banged her gavel. "You will not speak unless you have permission to speak."

"But we didn't put that there!" Helen banged her gavel in anger as the slime bubbled. "I'll be quiet," Andre sat down.

"I have no further questions for this witness," Hayley sat at her seat.

"Do you have any questions for this witness?" Helen asked Sinjin.

"No, your Honor. But I'd like to call Mr. Beck Oliver to the stand for questioning."

"Fine," Helen banged her gavel. Artie stepped down, Beck went to the stand, did the oath, and sat down.

"Hi Beck."

"Sinjin," Beck nodded to his lawyer.

"Would you care to tell the court why you were doing what you were doing?"

"Happy to; see, an old friend to all the Ghostbusters experienced something she perceived to be paranormal."

"Ooh, big words, go on."

"Anyway, she was in public with her eight month old son when his stroller, with him inside, started to roll on its own and into traffic. We went to examine her place and her son for any traces of anything out of the ordinary, but got no paranormal readings. However, when we went to the spot where the stroller stopped, my buddies ran not only one meter, but two meters over the spot and got some heavy readings. So we started digging to find out what could be under there that almost killed our friend's baby."

"So you weren't taking any vengeance on the city of Los Angeles by damaging property?"

"No, LA's cool; plus we saved LA from being sucked into a black hole when we defeated Gozer and stopped the end of the world."

"So you were just trying to help out a friend, who was scared of what was happening to her. And when you're scared, there was no evil intended, no malice, because…you live here and when you live in a place and you love it like you do you don't want nothing bad to happen, because it'll never happen again, it's an isolated incident, it's a one shot deal—"

"Objection!" Hayley stood up.

"Oh come on, I'm trying!"

"I believe he's leading the witness."

"Gimme a break, okay; we're both lawyers."

"I don't believe his questioning pertains to this case."

"Yes, it does!" Sinjin turned to Beck. "Do I have any more questions for you?"

Beck lowered his head. "No, Sinjin."

"Okay, I'm gonna sit down now." Sinjin took his seat.

"Your witness Ms. Ferguson," Helen stated.

"Mr. Oliver," Hayley began, "would you please tell the court why it is that you and your co-defendants took it upon yourselves to dig a very big hole in the middle of First Avenue?"

"We already told you we were helping a friend."

"Is the friend here in court today?"

"No, she-"

"And for the record; how are you acquainted with your so called attorney?"

"He does our taxes."

"So he's an associate of yours so to speak?"

"I guess."

'Well if your friend you were helping isn't here and your 'attorney' is a confidant to the Ghostbusters…"

"I wouldn't go that far."

"…then why should we believe the previous reason you gave for dig that hole?"

"Because it's the truth."

"Is it?"

"No, we just felt like digging a big hole on First Avenue to see if anyone would notice."

"Need I remind you that you are under oath?"

"And the first reason I gave is the truth."

"Is it really, Mr. Oliver; because I believe it to be a ready-made excuse."

"Well I believe there are some things in this world that go way beyond human understanding; things that can't be explained, things that some don't even want to know about. That is where me and my team come in."

"So what you're saying is that the world of the supernatural is your area of expertise?"

"Here's the point I'm tryin' to get across Dollface: shit happens, someone has to deal with it, and who ya gonna call?" The audience started applauding Beck.

Helen repeatedly banged her gavel. "SHUT UP!" this got the audience to stop, and the slime to bubble. "You can sit down now Mr. Oliver."

"It was a legitimate question, your honor."

"SIT DOWN!"

"Geez," Beck took his seat, "don't get your panties in a twist."

Helen sneered at him. "The court may take a brief recess while I pass judgment." Helen sat at the bench and went over what transpired.

"Why did you go and say that to her?" Sinjin questioned.

"She really doesn't have any right to get angry like that," Beck casually stated.

"She's Helen, Beck, she always got angry like that," Andre interjected in remembrance to their days at the college. "Remember once she got angry she stayed angry. Ain't that right Rob," Andre noticed Robbie staring off. "Robbie?"

"Have any of you noticed the slime?" Robbie asked.

"Sure," Beck replied, "it's pink, and it's in a glass jar with a tag on it that says 'Exhibit E'."

"No. I couldn't help but notice when Helen got angry that the slime was bubbling."

"It was?" Andre looked at the slime, which was at rest in the jar.

"Why was it bubbling?" Beck inquired.

"It might have something to do with strong, negative emotion," Robbie continued on, "We need to get the slime back so I can examine it before-"

Helen banged her gavel. "I've made my judgment. Would Beckett Oliver, Andre Harris, and Robert Shapiro rise?" The three stood up. "You stand up too you spazzy little lawyer."

"But I'm not-"

"STAND UP!" Sinjin instantly stood up, and Andre noticed the slime bubbling. Helen still seemed angry. "I find you guilty on all charges! I order you to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each! I also sentence you all to eighteen months in the city correctional facility…" Helen noticed Andre tugging on Robbie's sleeve. "I'M NOT FINISHED!" Andre stopped, but Robbie understood and looked at the jar of bubbling slime. And when Robbie noticed, Beck and Sinjin couldn't help but notice it too. The jar was shaking, the slime bubbling higher, and it was creating a wind with the negative emotion it picked up from Judge Helen. "On a more personal note, let just me go on record as saying that there is no place for fakes, charlatans…"

Robbie raised his hand to get Helen to notice the jar. "Uh, your Honor-"

"QUIET! …bottom line, society has no place for conmen like you." The slime bubbling hire, it seemed ready to burst.

"Your honor," Beck pointed to the jar, "this is important."

"You men prey upon the gullibility of innocent people."

"Sure, whatever, but-"

"SHUT UP!" the bubbling slime pushed the lid of the jar and still continued. "And believe me, if my hands were not tied by the unalterable fetters of the law," The men at the defendant's table slowly began to duck under the table as Helen kept going, "I'd revert back to trials of the olden days where men like you were burned at the stake."

The slime exploded and out from the air came two ghosts with distinctive sounding laughs sitting in what looked like electric chairs. The people not involved in the trial ran for their lives out of the courtroom not knowing what to do while Hayley hid under her table and Helen back in her seat in fear. "WOW!" Andre shouted in excitement from under the table.

When the ghosts broke free from their chairs and tried to attack Helen, Helen got out of the way and ran over to the hide with the Ghostbusters. "Friends of yours?" Beck asked.

"It's the Schneider Brothers," Helen informed. "I tried them for murder and sentenced them to death by electric chair."

"We still have that in California?"

"What do we do?"

"Try telling them you don't believe in ghosts." The skinnier Schneider ghost picked up the table they were hiding under and threw it against the wall as everybody ran behind to the room where the jury would usually deliberate.

Helen grabbed Beck by the collar. "DO SOMETHING!"

"Don't talk to me, talk to our attorney."

"THAT'S ME!" Sinjin felt useful "My clients can't do anything 'cause they're still under a judicial mistrangement order thingy."

"Maybe you should've talked to our resident smart-guy, Robbie."

"If they break the order, they'll be exposing themselves wouldn't they your Honor?"

"Yeah, and you wouldn't want us to expose ourselves!"

Everyone in the room was distracted by a scream of fright coming from Hayley Ferguson. Rushing into the courtroom, they saw the fatter Schneider ghost dangling Hayley by her feet fly out of the courtroom with his brother following.

"My guess is they're getting rid of Hayley because she was the prosecutor at their trial," Robbie assumed to the judge.

"And if our resident smart-guy's assumption's correct," Beck smiled at Helen, "they're gonna come back for you next Helen."

"DO SOMETHING!" Helen panicked.

"But we got a restraining order that says we can't," Andre snarkily reminded.

"The charges against you Ghostbusters are hereby dropped, case dismissed!"

"Does that mean we won?" Sinjin asked.

"NOW DO SOMETHING!"

"Sinjin, you stay here and protect Helen so she lives to officially clear the charges," Beck instructed. "Andre, Robbie, let's go to work." The three men ran over to the exhibit table where three proton packs and a trap were. "Good thing the cops confiscated this stuff or we'd be screwed." Beck started to put his pack on. "Oh, I forgot how bad this was on the back."

"Rob," Andre put his pack on, "you sure this stuff still works?"

Robbie nodded as he finished getting his pack on. "The power cells have a half-life of five thousand years."

"There's no time for a test run anyway," Beck reminded. "Heat 'em up boys!" The three simultaneously reached for their proton guns and began charging them. "Do," Beck sang as he charged his gun.

"Re," Andre sang with a smile as he charged his gun.

"Robbie," Beck and Andre turned to Robbie with confused looks. "Well, I thought it was funny," Robbie smirked at them.

The boys readied themselves and aimed their guns to the door as silence encompassed the courtroom. A breeze similar to the one from before picked up and miscellaneous objects started flying around before their eyes as the Schneider Brothers appeared back in the courtroom. The Ghostbusters fired at them and the brothers flew away from sight. Once out of sight, Beck started to laugh for no reason, then Andre did the same, and even Robbie let out a few 'ha's'.

Suddenly, the fatter Schneider brother burst into the courtroom. The guys fired at him, but again, they missed. However, after firing again, Beck managed to get a portion of his stream to attach to the brother. "Come on, Fat Boy, show me whatcha got!" He managed to fire again and keep a hold of the ghost.

"BECK GOT HIM!" Andre shouted in excitement. "Robbie, get the trap!"

"You got it," as Robbie went for the trap, the other Schneider brother came back. "ANDRE, BEHIND YOU!"

Andre quickly turned around and his beam hit the other brother. "GOT HIM!"

Robbie laid out the trap. "Bring 'em over to the trap, guys!" While keeping the ghosts in hold, Andre and Beck guided them over to the trap. Robbie stood in the center and opened the trap. "NOW GUYS!" Beck and Andre stopped firing and watched the ghosts of the Schneider Brothers be sucked into the trap.

The guys moved closer to the trap with triumphant smiles. Andre pointed to the trap. "Two in the trap…"

"…Ready to go…" Robbie pointed next.

Beck followed suit. "…We be fast…"

"…And they be slow!" The guys all shouted as they pointed to the trap.

"Come on guys," Beck stepped forward ready to exit, "our public awaits." Andre picked up the trap and he and Robbie followed Beck outside where a crowd of people and press were standing- with the exception of Hayley Ferguson who was sitting on the ground being tended to by paramedics.

When the Ghostbusters exited the room, their pals ran over in excitement. Tori gave Andre a short, friendly hug, Cat gave Robbie a kiss on the cheek and a tight embrace, and Rex gave Beck a high five. "Looks like you did good," he complimented.

"Oh yeah," Beck addressed the crowd. "We're the best, we're the beautiful, we're the only Ghostbusters. And now…"

Beck, Andre, and Robbie linked hands and triumphantly raised their arms in the air. "WE'RE BACK!"


Gonna end this chapter on a YAY!

Remind me not to hire Sinjin as my attorney; I'd be better off representing myself.