Author's Notes: I know the last chapter was short so I'm working on making longer chapters. I hope this one is long enough for your liking and please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII but I do own this story.


I am crushed. Everything I have attempted to look forward to, all the maybes and the someday one days have flushed down the toilet. Is this how a mid-life crisis feels like? When you realize that all the goals you've made are ones that you can't do anymore?

What am I talking about?

Aerith and Zack are dating.

They're dating. My two best friends, dating. They've only met for two weeks and they're dating! I guess in a way, I knew that it was going to happen all along. They're both outgoing and popular in their separate circles. Maybe Aerith could even rein Zack in, capture him enough so that he doesn't go chasing after more girls.

But I was supposed to at least have my chance. I've known her longer and I know her at a deeper level that Zack hasn't even scratched at yet. I've loved her longer. No, not loved. That's past tense, that's saying I've given up. I still love her. Been loving her since we met.

Don't they all say that good things come to those who wait? Well I've been waiting, for years in fact. Where is that good thing that's supposed to happen?

How could she even overlook me? Has she ever stayed up late at night thinking about me? Does she ever go over the time she has spent with me in her head, wondering if there could be more? Does she ever become curious on how lacing her fingers with mine would feel, or if her lips touched mine?

In the romantic comedy movies she's always dragged me to, the two best friends always end up together. They realize they've been in love with each other and they both didn't know it. They end up happily together because they're perfect for each other. Watching those movies with her had given me hope that someday, our friendship would evolve like that.

But it didn't. And to be honest I don't think it ever will. Because in some twisted way, I can see how Aerith and Zack could work out for the long run. I can see how they would fall in love and get married and have God knows how many Zack Jrs or whatever. That doesn't mean that they're destined to be together. I think in the end, her and I are. We're destined to be together. But how can that even happen if I can't even get my chance?

All those nights! All those times I've thought about her, tried to practice how to tell her how I feel or how to say it, WASTED!

I'm going insane. I need to calm down. Maybe…maybe this relationship will pass. Maybe it'll be like all the other relationships Zack had. Where he gets interested for a short while and then he gets bored and he goes looking for another girl. Or maybe Aerith will realize that Zack's not the right guy. It's happened before. It can still happen. And things will be okay again. And maybe when they break up and Aerith comes crying to me, I can have the small satisfaction of punching Zack. For stealing my girl. She was my girl first.

Going to school was painful with the news over my head. They were so affectionate with each other. Both of them were so talkative too and knowing them, it meant that if I was ever alone in their company, they'd be speaking of their newly found relationship. It would mean that in those moments, I would prefer drinking hot acid than listening to it and feeling the monster of jealousy.

My only escape was to swim.

In the waters, there is only warm welcoming embrace. There is no competition for it because it welcomes everyone. I push along it, hold my breath as I enter it, and release as I come up. I become so focused on the movements, the breathing, and the sound of water rushing around me, that I can forget. I swim until my muscles are boneless and I come up gasping for air. This is what I loved about swimming because when I come up from it, my memories and my mind are hazy.

But my mind isn't hazy when she captures my eyes. The last time I saw her, she was smiling and….sassy. Now, her shoulders are curled inward and that is her only sign that something was bothering her. She keeps her head up and she still looks at the other team members passing by her in the eye. But she looks defeated to me. And sad. Very sad.

I watch her, numb and entranced because the way she looks at the water reminds me of how I felt as I came towards the pool. She looked at it as if it would give her all the answers and give her a hug. And she dives in the lane right next to me without looking at me. But that's okay because I want to continue watching her.

I watch her launch from her dive and her head comes up. A splatter of water, for air, and back in. She's a fast swimmer and she makes a lap. I watch as the water ripples and see her blurry image as she tucks herself into a ball and does a flip turn. I hike myself up from the water, my body protesting at the change of temperature with goosebumps, to watch her.

Several minutes passed before she stopped and I turned away in a blush when I realized how much her chest heaved with her breaths. And by a strange twist of fate, they decide that this was the moment when she would notice me. I don't think my face could have turned redder.

"Hey, Tifa…" I stutter. God I feel like such an idiot.

She blinks and I can almost see the clouded haze in her eyes brush away. She gives me a small smile and I can't help but notice how sad she looks. She deserves sunshine and happiness, I can't help but think.

"Hey, Cloud." Tifa replies.

I swallow. I feel so nervous and my body feels hot in front of her. I watch, captivated, as Tifa grasps the bar along the pool and the way her entire body…moves as she lifts herself up.

Fuck, she's hot.

STOP!

I am not some drooling teenage boy who has never seen a half dressed girl before! I'm on the swim team! I see nearly naked girls all the time!

But nowhere as hot as Tifa, my conscious tells me.

Before I can yell at my conscious, Tifa stands up and sits next to me. She draws a knee to her chest and rests her body along it while her free leg dips into the pool.

"So…what's up?" I start lamely. I've never been too good at talking to girls, girls who weren't Aerith at least.

Tifa is silent for a long time. I can't help but feel more and more awkward as the silence seems to stretch further and further. I'm tempted to leave but I know it's rude, so I covertly shift so I sit on my hands.

I was about to start a random topic, anything to void the silence and the uncomfortable air between us when she speaks.

"So what do you think of Aerith and Zack, together?"

The one topic I didn't want to talk about. Great.

But I turn to look at her, the way she watches forlornly at the water. And somehow, I can tell that she is sad by the fact that her best friend is now dating mines. I turn to look away and stare at the bleachers.

"They're…" I start. I can't think of the right words to say. I turn back to look at her and am surprised to see that she has turned to look at me too. There was something in those eyes, I don't know what it was, but it made me blurt the first thing that comes to mind.

"They're great together."

The first true statement I've uttered in two weeks. Every time Zack or Aerith has asked me:

"Are you sure you're okay with this, Cloud?"

"Do you mind if I go off to hang out with Aerith, buddy?"

"Rain check, Cloud? I want to hang out with Zack for a little bit."

"Are you okay, Cloud?"

"You sure you're alright, buddy?"

I've told them lies. I'm fine, I tell them. I've been busy. I didn't get enough sleep. Some bullshit I can think of to avoid them, to make them think I was okay.

Stating and acknowledging that Aerith and Zack…seemed to belong together stung. I think by acknowledging it, I admit that I have lost hope. There was no way I can get my chance now.

"I know." Tifa whispers.

And suddenly, the answer comes to me.

"You like him."

Surprise flutters across her eyes and I can see that she draws inward. I feel bad because I think I made her feel wore. I close my eyes. I think of the beautiful green eyes and the soft flowing golden waves…

"I like Aerith." I tell her. She confessed, so should I. "No…I love her."

"And I love Zack."

I laugh bittersweetly. "And we're wondering why aren't we the one with the people we love, right?"

"And why didn't we get our chance at least?"

We both chuckle over this. I'm not sure what was so funny but it just seemed right to laugh about it a little.

"Yeah…" I whisper.

People start coming in. I raise myself to my feet and help Tifa up. I think she look a little bit better. She looks less…lost.

"So, since we're both cast off for a little while due to this newly founded relationship, you wanna grab some lunch?"

Tifa accepts and we head off to our own respective locker rooms. As I shower and change for class, I can't help but think that I feel…so comfortable around Tifa. It's strange. Normally with other girls, I'm stuttering or harsh. With Tifa… I feel like I can be myself.

And maybe we can provide escape for each other with this new friendship.


Author's Notes: Hm…I wonder where this is all going? I have a document on my computer you know? It's full of fragments of where this story wants to go but hasn't filled in yet. It's interesting how my imagination goes!

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