Disclaimer- I do not own D. Gray-Man or any of the characters from the series and with never claim them as my own.
"You might be an accommodator for innocence."
I didn't tear my gaze from Allen once. I was confused, to say the least. Who wouldn't be if some random group of travelers came to stay at your inn and later one of them came to you and started telling you things that sounded like some sort of gruesome fairytale? Well, I couldn't say this was like some fairytale just yet, though it certainly wasn't normal. I really wasn't sure exactly how I should respond to all this, but I'm sure that just pretending it was some sort of dream or something would get me nowhere.
But I always played off stuff as a dream or nightmare, didn't I? The visions, my mother's insanity, and the death of my father; all those things I wanted to play off as some hellish nightmare that kept haunting me. And now, on top of everything that has happened, I have to deal with monsters. Honestly, when will I get a break from all this? I didn't want to be some part of any of this.
Allen frowned at me before leaving the room. I was very happy when he did so because I didn't want him anywhere near me at the moment. I didn't want anywhere near me, really. I didn't know what to think or say or even do anymore. What had the weird little brat been talking about when he said something about me being an accommodator to innocence, anyway?
I threw myself at the pillow on my bed and squeezed it to my chest as tightly as I could. I wasn't going to cry over something as stupid as this, but I was very upset. How does one react when being told "You were attacked by that monster because you might have something to do with innocence"? What the hell was "innocence", anyway? Last time I checked, the word simply meant "free of sin" or something like that and it wasn't a word used for some sort of weapon.
I wrinkled my nose at the thought of being able to use some kind of weapon. I wouldn't be able to kill something even if it meant losing my life. What choice did I have, though? I would probably end up getting roped further into this entire mess and then I'd have to risk my own life to make sure someone else could live to see another day. Why would I even consider doing that to begin with?
I mean, unless it was Monica or Vincent or Cathy, I could careless what happened to the person. I wouldn't throw my own life away for the sake of someone else. That was really stupid and the very last thing on the list of things I'd intended to do in all of my life. I sighed and loosened my grip on the pillow before sitting up again. I didn't want to be caught up in any of this.
And there was a long moment in which I did nothing but sit there and stare off into space. My mind had pretty much gone blank and now I was getting a headache from thinking so hard. I was also kind of hungry and I was pretty sure the last thing I had to eat was breakfast, but I wasn't sure how long ago breakfast was. It could have been nighttime or early morning judging by how dark it was outside right now. It didn't matter; I just needed something to eat.
With food in mind, I threw my pillow against the headboard and stood up to venture off into the kitchen to see if we had any leftovers. Monica was scrambling to get finished with whatever she was cooking. It looked like some sort of soup from where I was standing. I figured it would probably be best if I just left her alone to continue with what she was doing, but she looked up at me and froze. I frowned at her and crossed my arms, knowing full well that I wouldn't get anywhere if I tried to leave now.
"Set up the tables." She instructed. "Vincent and Cathy are going to be eating here, too. So we need two extra plate settings."
I nodded slowly before walking past her to get some plates, bowls, and silverware out. I didn't want to make a second trip to get more plates, so I just pulled all eight out at once and quickly remembered just how heavy they were. Monica gave me a funny look and I just smiled at her to tell her to leave me alone. I could handle eight plates at once perfectly fine without someone doubting me like she was doing right now. I wasn't so hinderingly weak that I would drop everything.
"Maybe you should put some of those plates back and just make a few trips." Monica said. "You haven't eaten since yesterday morning. You aren't exactly as strong right now as you could be."
That explained why I was so hungry. I puffed my cheeks out and looked away from her. It's not like I was carrying a ton of bricks or anything; just a few plates and bowls. I could totally handle that even if I was a little lacking in the strength department at the moment.
"Stop worrying." I huffed.
An, with that, I headed out of the kitchen and into the dinning room. I didn't exactly make it to a table before everything I was holding fell to the ground with a loud crash. It certainly was bad timing for a vision, but I couldn't control those at all. I froze up as I had done many times before and everything melted away into a black and white scene that was just horrifying to see. There was blood everywhere I looked and Monica was just laying there as limp as could be.
There was a little boy under her, like she'd been trying to protect him. But it didn't matter. They were both dead. Monica was dead. I let out a loud shriek, then. I didn't want to see something like this.
"Julia!"
Someone had me by the shoulders. I couldn't see who it was or even tell from the voice, but I knew they were there. Someone was there with me, but I couldn't see them. I only saw that monster and the blood and Monica and the little boy.
"Snap out of it!"
Something started shaking me suddenly and the vision dispelled itself. When my eyes finally focused on what was actually in front of me, Lavi was right there. I think I was less shocked by the fact that he was right in my face than I was of the fact that he was squeezing my arms tighter than I'd realized. I could feel tears streaming down my face and was honestly a little surprised that I hadn't realized I was crying. His grip loosened just enough for me to throw myself at him.
I didn't care who it was, I just needed to hug someone. Lavi shifted awkwardly and I sat there and cried on him. I would have felt better if he'd held me back, but that was asking for too much. He did, however, sigh like he didn't want to be in this position. I probably should have let him go then, but I didn't want to. Just having someone right here, right now, calmed me down more than I think anything ever had. Lavi was just the victim of my sobbing at the moment.
"Julia," Monica said from somewhere behind me. "Why did she scream like that?"
"I don't know." Lavi answered.
"What do you mean 'I don't know'?!" Monica snapped. "You were the first one to her, weren't you? How could you not know?"
"I don't know what I don't know!" Lavi retorted. "She just screamed and started crying."
Monica didn't like that answer at all, if I knew her as well as I thought I did. I felt her grab my shoulders to try and pull me away from the red-haired man. I refused to let go of him, though. I didn't want to look at Monica right now. It would only make things worse.
And it seemed this one little action caused a big reaction out of both my sister and Lavi. Both of them were shocked, each in a different way. Monica tightened her grip on my shoulders and was being more forceful than she had just moments before. I only tightened my grip in hopes of not being forced to look at her.
"J-Julia!" Monica huffed. "Let go of him! You shouldn't cling to strangers like that."
I shook my head before ramming it further into Lavi's chest and he grunted. I knew I was making him uncomfortable, but it was better doing this than having to face Monica right now. She stopped trying to break my grip suddenly and I heard her sit down behind me. The room remained silent, aside from random sniffles I let out, for quite some time. I wasn't sure exactly what was about to happen, but it made me become a little uneasy.
"This is…" Monica began before pausing again. "Julia, are you… seeing things again? Like you did before dad… died?"
I froze up again. It really was that obvious, wasn't it? The same thing had happened just before dad was killed. But this wasn't like that at all, was it? I could stop these things from happening, couldn't I?
I stopped Cathy from getting hurt, right? So I could stop Monica from getting hurt, too, if I tried. Maybe. It would take more than wishful thinking to stop her from getting hurt. It would certainly take a lot of effort, wouldn't it?
"Julia, answer me." Monica said in such a way that it was obvious she was worried. "Yes or no? You can just shake your head if you don't want to say anything."
I didn't want to worry her like I was doing and just telling her that "yeah, it's the same" would make her worry even more than if I didn't respond at all. She'd know I was lying if I told her "no", though. She had me backed into a corner and I couldn't lie to her or tell her the truth. I didn't know what to do. It was then that I felt Lavi's hand on my back, pulling me closer to him.
"Maybe you should leave her alone." He suggested. "She's scared and you're only making it worse."
Monica gasped loudly and I knew she was just doing so to show she was annoyed. She stood up suddenly and stamped her foot before walking off. She wasn't going to just let this be, though. She'd come back later and try to pry everything out of me. She wouldn't stop until I told it all to her, either.
Lavi let me go and I finally let him go. I let my hands fall into my lap and stared at them, refusing to let myself look up at him. I was embarrassed now, actually, which is why I didn't want to look at him. The only thing that made me look up was the sound of footsteps at the entrance to the dinning room. Allen, Lenalee, and Kanda were all standing there staring at me. I had no idea how long they'd been there, but it didn't look like it'd been too long.
I frowned again and looked down at the floor. There was glass everywhere and I was surprised that I just now noticed it. I wondered how many plates and bowls I hadn't broken when I dropped them earlier, which seemed like a silly thing to think about at the moment. I quickly started picking up the mess I'd made only to get stopped by Allen. I looked up at him to see that he looked about as worried as Monica probably had before she stormed out of the room.
"Tell us what happened, Miss Julia." He said.
I shook my head and looked away from him. If I wasn't going to tell Monica, I wasn't going to tell any of them either. Not right now, at least. Oh, lord! I had to tell Monica about what I saw or else I might not be able to help her.
A/N: Another chapter for the lot of you. You get a Lavi/Julia moment even though the two of them seriously don't like each other like that right now. How's that for fun? Anyway, lots of rambling as well as Julia being freakishly selfish. Hope you've enjoyed the story so far.
