The story continues from the revelations in the letter. I wanted to go a bit more into Holly's story...I promise the plot will heat up though!! (let me know who you want me to hurt and make limp and I will make them suffer !!)
The torture aspect seems to go down well. So this one's for you DramaWhore!!
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Dean pulled the Impala up to the kerb and checked the address on the paper. He definately had the right one.
"This is it." He said to Sam. They had come to find Holly's sister Emma using the PO Box number she'd given them. Now, here they were; Cambridge Masachussetts.
"Nice place."
They both hesitated to get out of the car wondering what lay ahead. Looking up at the house, Dean took in the neat white building. It was small but well kept with a wrap round porch.
Sam was waiting for Dean to make the first move and it was obvious that Dean wasn't going anywhere in a hurry.
The decision was made for them however when the screen door opened and a young blonde woman stepped out onto the porch. She was wearing jeans and a white vest, her feet were bare and her long hair hung down her back.
She watched them carefully and then she smiled in a way that indicated that she understood their reluctance to come in.
Without saying a word Dean got out of the car. Sam hung back a little wanting to give them a little space.
Walking up the path to the door, Dean looked up at her. He could definately see the resemblance to Holly, they had the same eyes, same full lips. But the colouring and the attitude were different. Holly had something exotic about her, there was always that edge of danger, a wildness that even he struggled to reign in. Emma seemed relaxed, almost laid back. Very cool.
Dean stopped. He was lost for words. He was looking at a sister in law he'd never even met. Sam had been through the same thing he guessed. At least when he'd met Holly, she'd been so badly hurt that he had other things to focus on. She seemed to sense his unease, and looked at him like she was weighing him up.
Slowly, she walked down the two steps that separated them. Without any awkwardness, she stood on tiptoes and put her arms around his neck hugging him to her.
He'd expected a lot, but not this. He didn't quite know how to react so he took his hands out of his pockets and gently laid them on her back.
"God, it's nice to finally meet you Dean." She released him and looked into his eyes. She was still smiling but was fighting the tears. "This is so weird. I feel like I know you so well." She glanced over his shoulder. "That Sam?"
Dean snapped out of his catatonic state and glanced back to see Sam uncurling himself from the front seat. "Yeah, that's him."
She stepped around Dean and went to Sam. Standing in front of him she barely came up to his chest. Rubbing her nose slightly she ignored the single tear that rolled down one cheek.
"Hi Sam, I'm glad that you could make it."
He was a bit stunned that she was so at ease with them,it seemed strange as they had been so wary of coming.
Turning on her heel she walked back past Dean and hopped onto the porch. Holding open the door, she nodded inside, "C'mon, what are you waiting for?"
Dean still hadn't said a word and looking back at his little brother he saw him shrug and they both followed her inside.
When they walked in, they felt more at ease. It was evidently a young woman's house. It was comfortable, airy and welcoming, She led them through the small hallway and gestured into a room on the right,
"Go inside, make yourselves at home. I'll be back in a second."
They stepped into the small den. It had two sofa's a small TV and one mother of a bookshelf which commanded attention over everything else. They both felt compelled to go and take a look at it. Whilst Sam was checking the book titles and authors Dean focused on the family portraits. They were all either of Holly or her and Emma together.
He realised with a pang that he didn't have one photograph of Holly. When he had her he hadn't felt the need for one and when she had left he hadn't wanted one. Now, he saw someone completely different in these photographs, He wasn't looking at Holly, but at Hayley and the girl she had once been. The thought made him sad, she looked so different. Young, innocent and carefree. He couldn't equate this image to the one in his head of Holly decapitating vampires and fending off rapists.
He was brought back to the present when Emma came back in carrying three open beer bottles. She offered two to them in one hand.
"Please, take a seat" She gestured to the sofa nearest them.
Once they had sat down she grabbed a seat opposite and pulled her feet under her.
She couldn't keep her eyes off Dean. She grinned. "You're exactly as Hayley described. I mean, I saw a photo once but..."
Dean shifted awkwardly, more for the fact that she referred to Holly as Hayley more than anything else. He was finding this more difficult than he thought possible. He took a swig of his beer. "You're different to how I imagined. I mean, you're different to Holly...I mean Hayley." He frowned.
"That's ok you can call her Holly, she preferred it. It was only me who ever got to call her Hayley."
"So, you know why we're here right?" asked Dean.
Sam looked slightly uncomfortable at his brother's tactlessness.
"Yeah, I know, " she replied unfazed. "God alone knew, Hayley needed enough help when she was alive but even now...she's still running rings round us." She took a drink of her beer to keep her emotions in check. Finding her composure she continued. "You know she talked so much about you, and all your adventures together that I know this must be awkward for you. I mean, you don't know me. You're at a disadvantage."
"I guess we just came here for some answers." Sam jumped in. "Holly said that you were the only one of her family that she still talked to."
"Yeah, we were pretty tight, you know after..."she looked at Dean. "I don't speak to the rest of my family any more. Neither of us did."
"Why?" asked Sam. He obviously felt more comfortable in this conversation than his brother. In fact he felt incredibly at ease.
"Huh, for a million and one reasons. What they did, what they didn't do. When Hayley escaped and was found alive it should have been the end for her. Turns out it was just the beginning of a new torture. They didn't make it any easier on her."
"So how did the two of you remain so close. You didn't share their views?"
"Hell no. They'd given up on her a long time before she came back into our lives, but I never could. And then later when I knew what she'd done for me...I upped and left with her. I had to stick by her. I didn't look back and neither did she."
Dean sat forward, arms on his knees as if only just joining in the conversation. "What she did for you?"
Emma shrugged, "Huh, she always did downplay her heroics...I'm not surprised she didn't tell you. I didn't even know til I saw a tape of one of her therapy sessions. I had to know what had happened even if my parents didn't want to know."
Sam frowned. God, what next? "I don't understand."
"See, she never would have said anything but as part of her therapy she was regressed, it was supposed to help the therapist understand her better. I think his hair went white overnight the poor bastard." She glanced at them knowing they were waiting for the punchline. "Hayley and I had always been close as kids, I was two years younger and wanted to be just like her. We shared a room, growing up. I used to bug the hell out of her but I was still her little sister and I knew she loved me.I guess I never realised just how much." She took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes. Taking a swig of beer. "Walden didn't come for Hayley that night. He came for me."
Dean sat back and Sam's eyebrows shot up.
"The night it happened I had the flu, I was dosed up on all sorts of medication. I never forgave myself for not waking up when he took her...when I saw that tape though the truth came out. Hayley had woken up in the night to find Walden in the room standing over my bed. He had a knife. She could have screamed, she could have done anything but instead she begged for my life. So Walden went for her. I think he would have killed her there and then but..."
Dean was staring ahead with his jaw clenched. Sam's face was compassionate.
"Hayley offered herself to him in return for my life, said she'd do anything he wanted if he left me alone. " She ended. Her hand was shaking as it ran through her hair. "Even now, I can't forgive myself for what she went through. Maybe she thought it would just be a couple of days til she was found. I mean, she was sixteen for Christs' sake, she couldn't have known what she was letting herself in for."
Dean looked across at his little brother and had to admit he could understand what she had done and why. But at her age? It's something most people wouldn't have been capable of. Again, he felt fierce pride for the woman and an unimagineable anger that she was gone.
"That wasn't the end though. She told the therapist that he used to threaten me all the time to get her to do things...unspeakable things. He would follow me, to school, church...he had photos and he would go back home and show her how easily he could get to me."
The tears were streaming down her face now and Dean had his head bent low.
She looked at Sam. "She used to fight him she really did but in the end all it ever took was for him to dangle my life on a hook and she did anything he wanted."
"It must have been tough on you when you found out." Sam said, knowing how he felt when Dean put himself on the line for him.
"Tough? Believe me, I got off lightly. She may not have known that I knew the truth, but she never resented me for a second. She went to hell and back for me and came back stronger than ever. She's, I mean, she was incredible."
Dean didn't know when this would ever end. He thought that knowing about all her injuries had been bad enough but he was wrong. This was so much worse because he could almost see it now. How could he not? She'd done what he had been doing all his life, she'd protected her younger sibling in the only way she knew how. She'd forsaken her life, body and soul to save her sister. She'd always been the stronger one of the two of them, perhaps not physically but in all the ways it counted. He vowed that he wouldn't shy away from the details about her abduction any longer, he was the only one who would be able to get her closure once and for all.
"What else did she say in the tapes?" He asked with stronger resolve.
Sam looked at him and could see that his brother was no longer thinking about his own pain, he was now focused on revenge. He would know that look anywhere. No longer thinking like a man, he was thinking like a Hunter and it was like a switch flipped in front of Sam's eyes.
"I don't think you want to hear most of it to be honest. No one in their right mind would. She went to the therapist almost daily, she had to...He took her through it all again, but she'd never remember at the end of the session and they would just talk it through. You could see how she changed over the months of captivity. It was amazing, how she coped. She always had an active imagination and when she had nothing else to do she would escape in her mind, apparently that's what stopped her going insane. It also helped her deal with..."
"What?" Sam asked softly.
"The pain. She taught herself how to block it out. Once, she told me that he broke three of her fingers. She reset them like it was nothing. The Doctors were shocked she could even walk when she came out it was that bad. She had to go through so much again afterwards just in the hospital. She used to do anything to get through it; recite the times table, build houses brick by brick in her mind...she used to sing to herself too."
Sam tried to imagine a sixteen year old who was able to train her mind in a way that grown men in combat couldn't even manage.
"She used to count the minutes, do sums, make up recipes...anything. She had a whole other life in her head that she could retreat to. Later on, before the end you could see how she'd changed...the images grew darker. That was after he'd stabbed her."
She seemed to snap out of her reverie for a second. "When we used to talk about what happened, she only ever talked about what happened after that night. It was as if she was in control from that time on."
Sam cast his mind back to the day in the motel when Holly had told him about how Walden had stabbed her and then, realising he still needed her, he had saved her life.
"She told me he used to bring her books."
She smiled. "She always used to say that he educated her in his own way. She was wrong though, it was all Hayley. Or should I say Holly."
Dean was confused. "What do you mean?"
"I started to sit in on therapy sessions with her as she grew more comfortable in dealing with it. The therapist explained it all to me. Hayley didn't change her name when she left home Dean. Her name changed the night she was stabbed, when the life she was living in her head became reality."
Dean frowned trying to comprehend what she was saying."Are you saying she had a split personality?"
"It's complicated, basically she had this other life in her head as Holly, Holly grew up alone but strong, she was capable and fearless. She was the equal to any man and she knew it."
Dean's brow furrowed deeper. Sam gulped uncomfortably. this was Dean's wife they were talking about as though she were a case study in some classroom.
"There's nothing unusual about it, it's documented." She continued."Hayley had to die for her body to survive and so this other person took over. It was a coping mechanism. She was bleeding to death and whilst Hayley was ready to go, a voice in her head was yelling hell no. Finally that voice won over and Holly was born."
Dean was stunned and if he was going to be brutally honest, freakin' out big time!
"Listen, Dean, I don't know you and maybe I'm going about this all wrong. If what she told me about you is true, then you can understand how someone can change so completely when they go through a painful experience."
Sam and Dean both knew she was referring to their dad. He had changed when their mom had died but not in the same way.
"So Holly was a lie?" Dean asked slowly.
Emma leant forward and looked at him, "No Dean, Holly wasn't a lie, she was real. She wasn't crazy, she knew that Hayley was still there, somewhere. If she hadn't have done what she did, she'd be dead now. It's how she survived so long. Do you think Hayley would have had the strength to let another man touch her?" She shook her head. "But as Holly, she could get on with her life. She was able to fall in love"
Dean stood up and went to the window. He was struggling to take this all in. Who had he fallen in love with? It was as if he was hearing about a stranger. It was too surreal even by his standards and he couldn't understand it. Nevertheless he'd promised that he would deliver on this one and he meant it.
He heard Emma again, "Fact is, Holly was just the stronger part of her character, she showed no fear when she gave herself up to Walden.That strength had always been there, she just didn't know it until circumstance brought it out of her. She just gave it another name."
Sam was fascinated by it all. He had found Holly complex to begin with but now he was even more intrigued with this woman who had become the strongest person anyone in the room had ever met. He knew they weren't ready yet to broach the subject of the child that she'd had, but he still needed to know certain things.
"One thing's always intrigued me." Sitting forward he put his empty beer bottle on the table."Holly didn't go to school right? She was educated by a janitor yet she went to college?"
Suddenly the atmosphere was broken by her light hearted laughter, shocking them both. She stood up."I'll get some more beer, Guys," she winked at them. "If you thought Holly could blow you away before, you ain't heard nothing yet."
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They all had fresh beers and the tone in the room had changed noticeably. It was clear to both brothers that Emma hero-worshipped her sister and was proud to be talking about her accomplishments.
"You know she went to Harvard right?" She said smiling.
Sam looked at Dean whose face mirrored his for shock.
She didn't need to wait for an answer, "Like I said, she was pretty modest. That's why we moved here so she could go to school." She laughed again, her eyes recalling a distant memory. "When she had decided to draw a line under what had happened, she was so determined to get on with things, like she'd wasted enough time thinking about the past and just wanted to get on with her life. So she literally sat down and decided one day that she was going to study psychology and criminology, only the best school was going to be good enough for her. She hadn't been to school for years and never sat her SAT's but she went ahead and wrote a letter to the Dean of Harvard." She chuckled. "She figured who better to study the criminal mind than someone who'd spent so long locked up with a psycho? She'd spent months with a therapist and her closest friend was a cop. She couldn't lose. So she got a reply saying thanks but no thanks, so she demanded a meeting in front of the board of education, the Dean and his musty old cronies."
Dean smiled, now this was sounding more like his Holly and he was relieved.
"So what happened?" Sam was pulled in hook, line and sinker.
"She demanded an IQ test first. So that morning, she went off to the school and she sat her IQ test with a controller from MENSA. That afternoon, she went into this meeting. I went too, so did Dr Jackman, her therapist and Frank, the cop that she'd become close to. Oh, guys, I swear, I almost died. They were all sat there on a panel like they were putting her to trial. It terrified me, but she couldn't care less. She'd seen scarier stuff and these guys weren't gonna intimidate her any time soon!"
Sam, laughed imagining the scene."I dread to think what they must have thought."
Emma agreed. "I think they only granted her an audience because they wanted to see what had happened to the girl they'd all read about. Like she was some sideshow freak or something."
"Anyway, Dr Jackman got up and spoke on her behalf and so did Frank. They assured them she was emotionally stable, capable of dealing with college life. They also made sure that they added in that she had more training in the field than either of them combined." She giggled into her beer. "So then it was Hayley's turn and so she stands in front of them and she just starts telling them how she'd taught herself everything she needed to know. She tells them something of her experiences and what she'd learnt from them. Believe me, there wasn't a dry eye in the house!"
Dean shook his head and asked himself once more what a girl like that had ever seen in him. "So I guess it was in the bag."
"Hell no, they were sorry and everything but started going on about their prestigious college yadda yadda yadda!" She took another drink."I swear, I thought Frank was going to pull his service revolver and take them all out!"
"So? How did she swing it?" Sam was like a child with a bedtime story noted Dean.
"Well, the doors open
and in walks the guy from MENSA who finally had the results of the
test."
"And??" Sam was dying. Dean thought he
could do without knowing the answer.
"She was declared a freakin' genius. She had an IQ in the top 2 of the population. They were all stunned. Well, we all were except Hayley. She shrugged it off like it was nothing. Like she knew all along. So they went off to have a private conference and we all sat waiting...it was like an hour and they came back. The bunch of old bastards..."
They frowned at her. She was more serious now. "...said they'd be happy to take her and even give her a full ride..."
"But?" Interjected Sam.
"They wanted her to come clean about who she really was, what she was studying and why. She gets an education worth thousands and they get all the free press they want."
"Scumbags." Muttered Dean.
"Right, tell me about it. So Frank's reaching for the gun by now but Hayley sensed this so she gave him a sign to say she could handle it and she got up to speak."
"She always did have a smart mouth...I dread to think what she said."
"Believe me, in all my life I'll never forget what she said. So she stands up and with the straightest face imaginable she says 'I admire your establishment greatly and your roles within it. But I've physically been forced to bend over and get fucked in the ass by someone much scarier than you gentlemen, so I repectfully decline.'"
"HA! That's my girl." Dean laughed.
Sam followed and soon they were all falling about laughing.
