A/N Sorry that it took me so long to update, but I was kinda unsure on whether I should post this or not, because I know that this is most likely disappointing. Well, but this is just how my original story ends.
Remember: Kathryn is the protagonist of my novel – so she's not related to CM.
… But it's also been a hard day for Kathryn!
„Hell! You're nothing more than an egocentric diva, that will never be satisfied. Nothing will ever be good enough, right? Except your arrogance you own nothing, not even emotions! Your heart is so empty that it will collapse one day.
You don't deserve neither your good-luck that made your stupid life and scanty talent famous, nor the success.
Listen carefully: I'm going to tell you what you are: Totally. Alone. In. Your. Godforsaken. World!", the boy playing the first violin accuses me.
I must confess I forgot his name again, but are names really so important? Since lately we argue more and more often without real reason.
I raise an eyebrow provocatively and cross my arms in front of my chest.
„Rather alone than totally untalented and clumsy like you. And hideous on top of everything."
With a gesture of my hand I point towards his face and upper body that is a total mess.
„You don't get it, do you?!"
One last time he glares daggers at me before he storms enraged outa the room.
Lets me alone in the middle of unpacked music instrument cases.
With my hands I straighten my black silk dress to regain my composure.
Today is one of those days, again, where I'm barely able to feel anything – neither love nor pure hatred.
But there are other days, either!
At some mornings I can barely bring myself to leave the bed, because everything just seems futile and empty. I just stay under the comforter and sleep and dream.
But at others my day could easily need more than 24 hours before every last bit of my Energy is discharged. At this days it isn't uncommon for me to practice 15 hours nonstop.
But today is definitely a gap filler between the two extremes. Numbness. … Fuzziness.
But this first-violin boy is right. I am nothing more and nothing less than a spoiled brat …
„All right, can we start now?", our conductor asks me.
I beam at him with a full smile shown on my face, because I definitely don't want him knowing about any of my self-doubts and disgrace.
Jeez! If he would see and finally tell my father! Hell would break loose.
„Definitely. I'm really looking forward to being on stage. I guess the visitors are waiting already way too long. So, let's go and give them what they are waiting for", I suggest more self-confident than I actually feel.
If I have learned one thin than it is to lie like an actress.
When the concert finally has a break, I can't leave the stage quick enough.
All of these pair of eyes staring expectant at me – I can't stand them any longer, because I know that I will – after all – disappoint them finally.
At the bathroom I can be alone for a moment and put daylight between me and all those negative thoughts and things.
But suddenly two women enter the restroom.
The blond one smiles widely at me and says with sincerity:
„You are so talented! Awesome! It's a pleasure to listen to your solos."
- For sure! And tomorrow I'll get an engagement as a solo artist with the New Yorker Philharmonic.
What the hell does this woman know!
She most likely was never concerned with a father or a conductor, putting her under enormous pressure to success.
She is able to stand up every morning, goes to work and enjoys the day from its best account,
She is able to sleep all through the night.
She has never so much energy left she threatens to burst, if she does not convert it into movement.
And this blond woman can't even be acquainted to the feeling of worth- and uselessness due to the perfect life she leads!
The young girl keeps standing over the sink for quite a while and lets cold water run over her hands.
Not until both women come out of their stalls does she close the faucet with a hectic motion.
All three of them exit the restroom and give each other a gentle smile, but all of their eyes are dull.
And that's when they discern that non of them leads such a perfect life they thought the other would.
When both women are on the way towards their seats, the brunette excuses. She forgot her purse in the stall.
As she enters the bathroom a second time, she sees something shiny is lying on the edge of the sink.
She gets closer to catch a better look to figure out what it might be.
She is upset by its strange familiarity.
- It's a bloody razor blade, starting to get rusty around the edges.
END
A/N So that's what it is …
May I request your help? I tried really hard but I couldn't figure out how I have to put this sentences to make it right:
'Not until both women come outa their stalls does she close the faucet with a hectically motion.' - Thanks to cmfan1998 the sentence is right now, but I was really close (:
I'm totally clueless! Please help me improve my English skills (;
Please leave a review and tell me what you think about the story. (Pretty Please?)
Thanks for reading!
