Sarah's jaw dropped; her face now fully showing the shock and horror of what she just heard. She couldn't wrap her head around what Courtney just told her; the agent sent to replace her was actually Fulcrum. The tears that were flowing before were now torrents running down her cheek. Sarah fell back against the wall, the only thing keep her from collapsing on the floor in a lump.
Courtney continued. "That's right barbie, the agent that you thought would protect Chuck much better than you could in your compromised state ended up being the one betraying him and the team. So what do you think about your professionalism now?"
Sarah couldn't do or say anything; the words she needed to form a proper response evaded her. The training that she lived her life by told her that leaving Chuck was the right thing to do, but now it seems that it was totally wrong. Sarah sank even deeper into herself. She didn't know any of this had happened; she was too busy believing she was doing the best thing by going after Fulcrum with Bryce. But now that same decision which seemed right so long ago ended causing what she hoped to prevent: the collapse of Chuck's world. All her effort, the heartache, the sacrifice of what she and Chuck could've had; it was for all for naught. Then a thought crossed her mind which sent shivers down her spine. She looked up and saw that Courtney knew what she was thinking.
"You understand now, don't you? You understand that if you hadn't left, none of this would've happened. The agent wouldn't have been sent, John would still be able to walk without a cane, Morgan would be alive, and Chuck wouldn't have pulled away from his sister and become the empty man we have today."
Sarah nodded her head. She understood; she was the cause of the collapse of Chuck's world. It wasn't because of her being compromised as an agent but her decision to leave her loved one behind alone to fend for himself.
"You know what the tragic part is? It's that Chuck doesn't blame anyone. He doesn't blame that moron Bryce for sending him the intersect; he doesn't blame the CIA or NSA for forcing him into this world; he doesn't even blame you for not being there. You know who he blames?"
Sarah shook her head slowly.
"He blames himself. He blames himself for not receiving that flash fast enough. He blames himself that he wasn't able to warn John before he got shot. He blames himself for Morgan dying when he took the bullet meant for him. He doesn't blame you; he blames himself. It amazes me that Chuck after all this time and after all you did to him, that he doesn't place a single shred of blame of what happened at Buymore on that day on you."
"If its not about that, then why is he so angry at me?"
"You know why? This is what he's angry at you for." Courtney pointed her index finger at Sarah and pushed it into her chest. "He's angry at you for misplacing his trust. He told me that you asked him to trust you and he did so unconditionally. He trusted you with his life and more importantly, with his heart. But what did you do with that trust? You tore it to shreds and rubbed it in his face as you went back with your boy toy Bryce. That's what he blames you for and why he is so angry. Nothing else." Courtney ground her teeth before continuing. "But being the idiot Chuck is, part of him still loves you despite everything that happened and everything you did to him. Go figure, that guy wasting his love for someone who doesn't even want it or deserve it."
Courtney looked at the trembling figure before her. From the moment she met Chuck she felt the need to be protective of him. Even after all his training and as his abilities improved, she still felt the need to watch over him and keep him from harm. "I would think long and hard before trying to talk to Chuck and starting something with him. Because if you hurt him again, I will END you and that pitiful excuse of a man Bryce myself. Do you understand?"
"Yes" replied Sarah meekly.
"Good because unlike Chuck or John, I have no history with either of you and I will enjoy pulling the trigger." With that Courtney stormed out of the room and into the back patio.
Sarah stood silently for a few moments, thinking of what she had just heard. Never had Sarah been rendered so speechless or been left so impotent. Courtney had overwhelmed her with everything she said and she couldn't refute a single bit of it. Sarah lamented at the fact that a junior agent was able to see and understand things more clearly than she did. The tears were slowly drying her cheek when she turned to see Casey dropping Bryce onto the couch, still recovering from his encounter with Chuck.
Casey broke the silence. "Quite the firecracker isn't she?" he said with a chuckle. "We went through several CIA agents until she came long. Before her, Chuck would reject one after the other; not willing to trust any of them. Then she came along and basically forced Chuck to accept her and eventually trust her. I don't need to tell you about her angry side; even Chuck has gotten burned by her several times. But overall she is a great, but still young, agent."
"It's good to see you again Casey" said Sarah as she watched him nod in response. "Is there something between her and Chuck?"
"At one point I thought she was in love with him but now it seems she views Chuck as an older brother; someone to look up to but also someone to protect."
"And Chuck?"
"Same way I believe. He tries to act as if he doesn't care but it's fairly obvious that he's protective of her; just like an older brother should."
Sarah watched as Casey picked up his cane and walked over to her. She remembered how it was her fault that he had lost his mobility. "Casey, I'm so sorry. I didn..."
"Don't even think of finishing that sentence" replied Casey, interrupting her. "I know better than anyone what the consequences are for our line of work. Considering all the things that could've happened to me, I got off easy I believe."
Sarah nodded to show she understood. They both stood there silently for a moment, reflecting on what just transpired and all the events that occurred.
"What happened to Chuck, Casey?" asked Sarah.
Casey looked out the door which Chuck took when he stormed out. "More than should happen to such a good guy." He sighed before continuing, "He fully understood why you left and though I could see the pain in his eyes, he went on with life. He was working on leaving the Buymore and said that he was finally getting on with his life. Everything was looking good until he found out that you had gone back to Bryce."
"How did he discover that?"
"It was before we got a replacement agent; he and I were sent on a mission together to capture a Fulcrum agent experimenting on people outside of San Diego. After we captured him, Chuck hacked into his computer and that's where he saw reports of your activity with Bryce. That was when things went downhill."
Sarah's eyes slowly fell to the floor as she knew firsthand where the bottom of that hill went.
Casey continued. "Chuck became quite depressed and according to Ellie, started to revert back to the way he was after the whole Stanford debacle: sad, lifeless, and closed off. From a mission standpoint we also saw a marked decrease in the frequency of his flashes. For some reason his ability to flash was connected to his emotional status and at his lowest point he almost stopped receiving them altogether."
It had never occurred to Sarah that Chuck's emotions would affect the intersect; she had always viewed them as two separate entities, neither one affecting the other.
Casey continued, "That's why when your replacement Agent Summers arrived there was no warning from the intersect. Chuck told me some time later that he did receive a flash that morning but couldn't understand it until after the whole thing went down. The data from the intersect was there but he failed to comprehend it. So without warning Summers shot me in the back while we were in the castle and tried to kill Chuck, that is until Morgan stepped into the path of the bullet and saved him. Amidst the surprise, Chuck was able to grab Summers and kill him with his own weapon. He was able to call the ambulance but by that time Morgan had died in his arms."
Sarah's eyes teared up once more at the mention of the death of Chuck's best friend. Although she found him a bit weird, he also had worked his way into her heart. Sarah admired his loyalty to Chuck during his more dark times after his expulsion from Stanford. Although at times it had seemed like Chuck was constantly looking out for his little friend, it was more like a two-way street; each helping the other. She felt the loss and could only imagine how much more Chuck had felt. Sarah looked up, "Courtney mentioned him pulling away from Ellie?"
"Yeah. In the days after the incident at the Buymore, Chuck grew more and more paranoid. Not for his own safety but for those around him. He finally came to me one day and asked to be trained as an agent and to be given a new identity away from Ellie and Devon. I tried to talk him out of it; I thought he needed the support of his family at the time. But he was adamant; Chuck felt that no amount of agents could ever guarantee their protection. So he did what he thought was right: he gave them a cover story and left them behind." Casey smirked, "Sounds familiar doesn't it?"
Sarah nodded. "So that's how we find ourselves now with the robotic, super-agent Charles Carmichael. The perfect spy: always keeps an emotionless front, never deviates from protocol, and never ever lets anyone too far into his heart. He basically turned into us. Well, the version 'us' before we met him."
"Why did he become an agent? He didn't need to go that far."
"True but I think revenge against Fulcrum was his main goal. Before you even ask, I can tell you that he is better than most of the agents out there today. Obviously better than Bryce and perhaps better than either you or I in our prime. He also has one thing that for now that has made him so successful but will ultimately be his downfall: he lives and fights as if he has nothing to lose. For now it has been to his benefit since it allows him to take risks other agents would balk at, rush into and overcome impossible situations, and execute missions no one else would take. But sooner or later it will catch up to him and at that time no amount of skill will be able to save him." Casey watched Sarah's eyes as she came to a realization. "So you understand that as well? Chuck is heading down the same path we were once and we both know that that path doesn't end well. Add in the fact that he acts so recklessly and we'll be meeting again at his funeral in no time at all."
"What are you going to do Casey?"
"That's not the right question." Casey picked up his cane and pointed it to Sarah. "The right question is what are YOU going to do about it?"
"Me? Did you just miss world war III just a second ago? I tried to talk to him."
"Yeah you did, but you tried talking to him under the wrong premise. You tried to talk to him under the impression that what you did 2 years ago was right and justified. Now you see that you were wrong. I want you to go to him now, fully understanding the error of your decision."
"I don't know if I can."
"Well you better find a way or things will end badly."
"What is it that I'm supposed to do? What can I say or do that will help him?"
"I don't know but maybe start by giving him something to live for. Something that will remind him that he has a life worth living, just as he had reminded us when we first started guarding him. Don't worry; Chuck will listen to you despite what you've seen today. For some odd reason you two always had a deep connection."
Sarah nodded slowly, acknowledging that she and Chuck had been close from the first time they met.
"Good." Casey started walking to one of the rooms in the back of the house. "He'll be at the bar on Fifth."
A/N: Getting kind of hard writing these Chuck stories when the show is forcing me to feel quite indifferent to what happens with Chuck and Sarah. I'm hoping that the next episode will lift my mood. Thanks to cville and all the others who helped me out and gave me their opinions on my characters. Sorry if it doesn't live up to expectations.
