I DON'T OWN NATURAL BORN KILLERS

Ricky and Johnny eventually made it to Manchester, New Hampshire. Ricky wasn't in the mood for sightseeing, so he and Johnny just went to their destination.

"So, Who is this dude?" Johnny asked.

"His name is Crazy Kev. He's got all the best straps." Ricky replied.

"What kind of name is Crazy Kev?"

"As long as we get the guns, I don't ask questions." They eventually arrived at an alleyway in Manchester. As they got out of the car, Ricky walked over to a metal door. He knocked 3 times when someone opened up.

"Password?"

"My dick is multicolored, every shade of your mom's lipstick." Ricky replied.

"Accepted." The door opened and the 2 dudes walked inside. There was some skinhead band playing Oi music while a bunch of punks were in a mosh pit. Ricky went up to one of the skinheads who was guarding a door.

"Is Crazy Kev here?" He asked.

"Who wants to know?" The skinhead asked in return.

"Paying customers."

"This way." Ricky and Johnny followed the skinhead into a large sitting room where a pudgy bald dude was sitting behind a desk.

"Well, what have we here?" The man asked. "Whatever you please, I got all your needs at Crazy Kev's."

"I heard that you got the best shit in New Hampshire." Ricky said.

"You heard right, I got all the best shit. You want drugs? I got all the drugs, uppers, downers, inners, outers, siders, sliders..."

"We don't need drugs." Johnny said.

"Are you sure? I got weed, I got coke, I got crack, meth, heroin, acid." Crazy Kev continued.

"We're good thanks." Ricky said.

"We need guns." Johnny added.

"Guns, ain't you boys a little young for straps."

"I'm 21 and he's 22."

"What do you want guns for anyway?" Crazy Kev asked.

"Why do you care?" Johnny asked.

"If it was drugs or pussy you guys was after, I wouldn't ask questions; I'd just say the price. You can't blow someon'e head off with a bag of weed or a cameltoe, can you?"

"If you must know, we're going to go on a cross country road trip and kill people." Ricky answered. Crazy Kev was silent for a minute and then burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm not trying to spit in your milkshake or anything, but it's been done."

"Not by us, it hasn't." Johnny replied.

"If you say so." Crazy Kev said as his bodyguard brought out 3 large suitcases filled with guns. "I got pistols, revolvers, sun,aching guns, you name it."

"How bout this one?" Ricky asked as he looked at a large revolver.

"Oh, this is a Raging Bull." Crazy Kev replied as he showed off the large six-shooter. "It's got a 213 mm barrel and it takes .44 magnum cartridge. It could stop a truck tire." Ricky took it and pretended to shoot.

"I'll take the Raging Bull and the model 500." Ricky said as he handed over the money. As he took his guns. Johnny looked at one gun in particular.

"Ah, this is the TEC-9 pistol. Takes about 30 shots." Crazy Kev commented. Johnny held it in his hands.

"I'll take this and the .38 snub nose." He said as he gave Crazy Kev more money. In all, the guns a little under $3000.

"You guys want some pussy?" Crazy Kev asked as he motioned to a corner of the room where there was a young girl in a cage.

"Please help me!" She cried out through her tears. "I just want my mom!"

"Shut it bitch." Crazy Kev shouted as he raised his hand. "Trust me." He said as he went over to the cage. "You want this pussy." Johnny said nothing as he took a pencil that was on the desk and jammed it into Crazy Kev's throat multiple times.

"How's this for penetration, pervert?" Johnny asked.

"You little shit." Crazy Kev's bodyguard tried to attack Johnny, but Ricky jumped on the skinhead and beat him to death with his new revolver. The 2 walked over to the girl and let her out.

"If anyone asks, you tell them that Ricky Harrison and Johnny Hale did it." Ricky said. The girl nodded. Johnny nodded at the girl as he walked out with the guns and money. Ricky followed him, but not before taking all of Crazy Kev's meth.

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