Days passed. Things were quite normal at Mystery Mountain. I kept looking after the mummies while Darlene went off to do her own thing.
An order of merchandise hats came in the mail, but we were already overstocked with gift items already. I decided to go up to Widow's Peak to ask Darlene what to do with them. I looked up the stair, feeling a little nausea and vertigo, but I couldn't wait for Darlene to come down, so, with my eyes closed, I ran up the stairs until I tripped getting to the top.
After brushing myself off, I saw footprints on the ground, leading to a cave. I figured Darlene was probably in there having some "alone time" with some horny truck driver or something. It looked pretty dark in there. I walked in slowly, calling her name.
"Darlene? There's a backorder of baseball caps that've come in the mail! What do you want me to do with them?!"
I received no reply. I noticed a bunch of giant cocoons on the wall, giving off the stench of my parents' old mortuary. I saw something move in the shadows. At first, I thought it was a bear eating freshly killed deer, but then I saw it had eight legs and the "deer" was wearing clothes. The bear popped its blonde head. It turned and I gasped seeing Darlene's bloodstained face and upper torso attached to a giant spider body.
"Robbie?!"
I started screaming. Darlene jumped out and then bit my neck with sharp fangs, but I still continued to scream.
"Oh wow, you really DO have an immunity to spider venom; you know, usually when I sink my fangs into people, they usually get paralyzed instantly."
I then started running out of the cave, taking a cable car slowly down the mountain, and ran to the cabin where I hid under the bed.
Darleen then came in and popped her head under the bed.
"Robbie?"
"PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!"
"Robbie, I would NEVER eat you. I mean first off, you're way too skinny for me to eat; it'd be sucking out of one of those empty honey straws you get from a health food store, and second, you're way to precious for me to wanna eat. Please come out and sit on the bed with me."
I was nervous, but I did as she said, sitting down on the bed as she sat next to me.
"Robbie, I'm sorry you had to see that. I know it's a little hard to understand, but I'm a spider person and spider people have to eat."
"And you tricked me to be your accomplice?!"
"I know, it's was wrong of me to do, but I couldn't just come out and say 'I'm a spider person looking for someone to take care of the deceased bodies off my prey'; not many people are comfortable working for spider people; that's why most of my kids grew up to work in congress."
I didn't know what to think. Darlene was a giant human eating arachnid, but also the nicest person I've ever known. I just sat there numb as she held my head like I was her son. Oh well, I guess having a spider person mom isn't so bad.
