DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS RICHELLE MEAD DOES!

Chapter 4

"Rosemarie Hathaway!" the voice was familiar and it was one I feared. The woman was about five foot nothing, much shorter than me, I am 5, 7. Her auburn hair was the feature that stood out the most. This woman was my mother.

"Janine?" I asked looking at her through slits. She was angry and I think I might of been if I saw my daughter, going at it against the wall with her teacher. It's not like she ever had any interest in my life before why should she worry.

"Lissa told me you would be here, she told me I shouldn't disturb you and now I know why." I saw Dimitri looked at me questioningly but didn't say anything, I knew he would ask me about it later. Lissa then came running into the gym, struggling to breathe as she came to a stop. I saw her face turn into worry.

"I can explain!" I said but I could see in her eyes she already knew she wouldn't believe me.

"And Guardian Belikov, I thought you knew the rules!" I felt a twinge of pain as she turned on Dimitri.

"Lay off him, this is my fault!" I knew how to deal with my mother, even though she scared the shit out of me.

"I saw it; he was as much part of it as you were." I saw anger cross her face, she hardly knew anything about me or Dimitri and she was already beginning to judge.

"Janine..." Dimitri began but she interrupted.

"You should address me formally Belikov, just because you're screwing my daughter doesn't mean..." I felt my anger dial hit sky high and I saw Dimitri's fist clench. I hated the word screwing and to hear my mother say it was even worse.

"He isn't screwing me as you nicely put it, and why do you care? You wouldn't know the meaning of mother if it smacked you in the face. Do you even know when my birthday is?" She went to interrupt but I continued ignoring her.

"I'm nearly seventeen and I haven't seen you more than five times in my life. I'm surprised you even recognise me. You're not my mother; you're just someone who gave birth to me. A mother looks after their daughter, visits her now and again, and buys her dresses. But you only care about guarding; yeah I know it's your duty. Let me guess screwing my father was your duty as well, do you even remember who he is? You have no right to come here and start ordering me around. For your information what happens in my life is nothing to do with you and never will because I am done with your stupid head games, you either want to be my mother or not, if not LEAVE ME ALONE!" I was screaming at her by the time I was finished.

I tried to push past her but she grabbed me, her hold was tight on my shoulders as I tried to wriggle out but I couldn't, I could see Dimitri edge closer to us.

"LET ME GO!" I shouted at her as I continued to wriggle.

"Janine, you're hurting her!" Dimitri said, still edging closer to her but she ignored him.

"We need to talk this through, act like an adult for once and stay instead of running off like the child you are." I felt my anger turn to rage as my fingers clenched into a fist like Dimitri's had as I went to hit her in the face. Of course being the skilled guardian she was, she blocked it and hit me back with defiantly more force then I intended to hit her with. Right in the eye!

I gasped in pain as my eye and cheek began to throb. "BITCH!" I shouted as my hands clasped over my eye, stopping anyone from touching it.

"Rose, I'm so sorry!" I heard Janine say quietly but I ignored it as Dimitri wrapped his arms around me.

"Janine what were your thinking?" I heard him shout, I knew now he had finally lost his control. I really wanted to see him kick her ass, I wonder who would win?

"I...I'm so sorry!" she cried, I continued to clutch my face; I knew this was going to leave a nasty bruise in the morning.

I couldn't take it anymore in the gym with that monster in here, how could a mother punch her own daughter in the face. I sprung out of Dimitri's arms and made my way out of the gym, running across campus towards my room.

I was aware of Lissa and Dimitri behind me but I just kept running. Once I got to my room I burst into tears, Dimitri came in and found me curled up on the floor, tears running down my face. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, whispering to me in Russian, of course I had no idea what he was saying but I like it. Lissa soon followed, I could tell she had been running as she was breathing like a steam train. She sat next to me and Dimitri on the floor, soothingly patting down my windblown hair.

"It's ok Rose!" I felt more tears fall as they continued to soak Dimitri's t-shirt. I turned to Lissa.

"Compel her!" I said, I knew the danger of her knowing this was, Dimitri was sure to lose his job because of me. "She will tell, you can't let her. If not for me, for Dimitri!" she continued to look at me confused. I knew because of Lissa's spirit power she was could compel anyone no matter how strong they were, mentally, but I also knew I made her promise not to use them because of what they did to her.

"Rose, she's your mother she wouldn't do that to you!" She knew as well as I did what my mother was capable of but she was trying to reassure me.

"She will tell and Dimitri would lose his job because of me. I won't allow it!" I heard Dimitri's chest rumble as he sighed, he tilted up my chin and sweetly kissed my throbbing eye, I flinched slightly but I loved the feel of his soft lips.

"I told you I don't care, let her tell. The worst that'll happen is that I get sent to another school." Why was he so kind? When it came to me he was blind, he was willing to lose his job over me and I couldn't allow him too.

"Dimitri, you are brilliant at being a guardian and I can't let you leave it behind for me. I won't let you and if I have to..." I was sure I couldn't finish that sentence. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes as it came out as a rush. "I will leave you so you can keep your job!" A single tear ran down my cheek at the thought of a life without Dimitri, without his kisses or his touch.

"No! You can't do that Rose." His voice was pained as he replied. I would do anything for him even if it did mean sacrificing myself; I do it for Lissa why not him.

"By loving me you sacrifice so much. Tasha loves you and she is there, waiting for you to say the word and she would marry you and give you children, the life you really want. With me you'll have to wait, your seven years older than me and I hate that I am the reason for you not running away with Tasha and being happy." I felt another load of tears escape from my eye. I snuck a look at Dimitri and saw his face was shocked more than anything.

"I'm not going to take Tasha up on her offer because I have something better, something I would risk my life for, I love you Roza." My whole body tingled as he said my name in Russian. I looked up at his eyes and saw how true his words were, how much he longed for me.

"I love you too but I can't help but think I am holding you back!" he sighed again and pulled me tighter to his chest, I could hear his heart beating fast as I reached up and kiss under his chin.

I stood, I need to speak to the monster, she had probably told by now but I suddenly didn't care. My face was beginning to go numb and I was glad, the pain was too much. As long as she doesn't punch me again or I will let Dimitri get his hands on her and I know he will be glad to.

"What are you doing Roza, you should stay. I'll go and speak to here!" Dimitri said and I could see the annoyance in his eyes as he thought about my mother.

"I want to go, Come if you want!" And sure enough he did, followed by Lissa as I went to the desk at the guest dorms building.

The Moroi that sat there was the normal boring sectary types, with messy brown hair pulled into a bun with her glasses on the end of her nose as she banged her pencil on the desk. She saw me approach and didn't move, but as soon as Dimitri joined me she sat up and pushed up her glasses. Lissa then came to the desk; she couldn't keep up with Dimitri and I.

"How can I help you?" She looked at Dimitri with googly eyes but I answered.

"In what room is Guardian Hathaway staying?" I asked politely, she looked at me and then flipped though the book.

"Four, shall I call up?" I knew if I was annoyance she would say she wasn't in but I knew she was. I shook my head at the sectary and left with Lissa and Dimitri in tow.

As I turned the corner to her corridor my stomach began to twist, I didn't want any more bruises unless they were on her.

I stopped at her door, taking in a deep breath before knocking. There was no answer at first and I began to wonder if the sectary had rung up to tell her. On the second round of knocks she answered, surprise crossed her face when she saw me; she stepped back and without a word gestured for us to come inside.

"Who will you tell?" I asked, breaking the ice, I was curious to know if she had told already.

"I'm not going too!" She was full of surprises today.

"You mean to tell me, you came here, shouted your mouth off, gave me a black eye and that was it." I saw her face turn apologetic as I said 'black eye' but then it returned to is normal guardian mask.

"I was out of line, I'm sorry. Guardian Belikov obviously cares for you as you do him. I'm not saying I approve but I'm saying I won't tell. You were right, I'm not a good mother; I focus on my job because it's my duty but I also have a duty as a mother. I'm sorry I have been a crap one too." WOW, she said sorry twice in one speech. That blow must have knocked me out because in the real world she would be bled dry by stigori before saying sorry to anyone.

"Why did you come here?" I asked curiously. It was obvious that she didn't come here for me, if anything she was probably here for Christmas as her charge Lord Szelzky says here over Christmas with his kids, many parents do.

"With Lord Szelzky."

"Why did you come looking for me?" I couldn't help but ask, she hadn't seen me for a while so why the sudden change.

"I wanted to give you this. I don't know if I'll get to see you when you graduate so I thought I'll give it to you now." She handed me a necklace. It looked like an eyes, with an aqua blue glass as the iris. It looked pretty.

"Your father gave it to me. Your father is Ibrahim Mazur and yes he's Turkish, that's where you get the tan from. Abe is a wealthy and powerful Moroi; I didn't want to worry him when I fell pregnant. We were in love but it was never meant to be. I want you to make sure this is what you want." I looked at Dimitri and revelled in the smile he returned me. My life was dull until Dimitri came into it, sure I had Lissa but I was always protecting her. With Dimitri I can relax and have fun.

"Thanks mum." A grin crossed her face as I turned, I called her mum to make her feel better but she still had a long way to go.

We left, Lissa meeting up with Christian while Dimitri took me to the Infirmary. It wasn't the first time I had been in here because I got hurt, I was known for playing rough. My eye stung as Dr Olendzki gently prodded her fingers along my skin. I wanted to hold Dimitri's hand but knew better of it. Dr Olendzki told me it will bruise, of course I had a hissy fit about my beautiful face, making Dimitri roar with laughter but she assured me it will fade.

I was glad when we went back to the gym; although practise was over we still went back. We just sat there, thinking about today's events.

"Wow, today's been unbelievably weird!" I suddenly bust out. Dimitri looked at me startled and then laughed.

"Yeah, like I never knew Lissa knew?" I knew this would be my only lie to him but it was worth lying about. "Through the bond!" He wasn't buying it, he knew me too well. He kept looking at me with his amazing eyes, knowing eventually I would crack.

"Ok, the first time I kissed you and I ran off, I hid out in my room; Lissa knew something was up and wouldn't leave me alone. I'm so glad the bond is one way otherwise I would be so pissed if she got in my head." He looked at me confused, he obviously doesn't know about the bond.

"One way?"

"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone, not even Kirova, top secret otherwise it could get us all killed!" Sudden alarm lit up his eyes. I knew he wouldn't tell anyone, I trusted him with my life.

"I promise, but what could be so bad?" His eyes became more confused as looked at me. I knew Lissa would kill me.

"I died. Lissa brought me back to life using her spirit healing powers. So I am bound to her, spirit uses the Moroi's power. They can't wield it like the other elements, it's completely from them. So when she brought me back I got a piece of her, linking us together." It sounded completely insane I know, a human would look at me like I had just told them I see dead people. Don't worry I don't!

"The car accident. Everyone wondered how you survived!" he was thoughtful for a moment. Technically I am three quarters Moroi now instead of half. I laughed at the though of that, I wonder what changes that means? Fangs? I ran my tongue over my top row of teeth, nope still small.

"Oh Roza. You've been through so much!" He pulled me into his arms and hugged me close, kissing my forehead. I didn't know he actually understands what I had explained; it took me years to figure out.

"So, what are you doing today comrade?" I asked, I had nothing today as it was a boring old Sunday and I no longer felt tired to go to sleep. I knew he probably had to start his guardian shift, patrolling the grounds.

"Day off!" I was taken by surprise. I never knew Guardian's got days off. I heard a victory parade in my head, there was still going to be time to shop!

"Day off?" I was still shocked; I was always taught that Dhampir's guarded Moroi all day every day.

"Because of how late we return last night, they gave me the day off; I am supposed to be sleeping." My victory parade suddenly took a wrong turning and fell out my ear. Of course it was too good to be true.

"So why are you still here?" I asked him curiously, if I had the chance to stay in bed instead of work I would jump to the chance. He laughed and gently kissed my cheek that was beginning to bruise.

"I love spending time with..." he hesitated before a cruel smile crossed his face. "This book; I can't get enough of it." I scowled at him as I hit him, this time when he leaned in to kiss me I moved away.

"Hey!" He wined, leaning in to kiss me again but I once again moved away. He moved in again and this time I stood, and ran as fast as I could across the room, jokingly of course.

I didn't reach the door because he had jumped me, keeping me pinned on the floor as he straddled me to keep me down. When his lips met mine I felt the love radiate through both of us, the kiss began to escalate and I wondered how far it would go. I pulled off his warm navy sweater, throwing it away somewhere in the gym.

His hands roamed the shape of my body; sends shivers down my spine, his hands left burning trails where they had touched. His finger fiddled with the hem of my shirt before I heard him sigh.

"Roza, we can't!" He kissed my lips tenderly again before pulling back slightly. I understood what he meant; if we got caught we would have a hard time getting out of that one. I groaned in annoyance, we can never have any fun!

He finally got off me, sitting beside me before I sat up, looking at each other intently. I quickly remembered is sweater and noticed it over by my bag. I had better aim then I thought.

I couldn't hold back the yawn that escaped my lips; I guess I was still tired. I heard Dimitri chuckle and I slapped him on the leg as they were outstretched towards me.

"Looks like sleeping beauty has had too much excitement for one day!" He joked as I lay down and rested my head on his lap as he played with my hair.

"I'm not tired, just warn out! You work me too hard!" A smile crossed my face at that thought, Dimitri laughed quietly.

"Well it means you're learning and that I'm good at my job!" I laughed as I turned; keeping my head on his lap so I could face him. We both smiled at each other, we had no need for words but I suddenly wanted to say something.

"Dimitri..." I asked, keeping my face composed.

"Mmm." He replied as he went back to playing with my long dark curls.

"I love you!" His eyes shot down until they met mine and I saw the biggest smile crossed his face, making him look like a dope. He leaned forward and kissed me.

"I love you too!" Those were the words I could listen to constantly and never get bored.

Hey Rose how is things? Lissa's voice startled me. Dimitri looked me curiously but didn't say anything.

Great, hanging in the gym. What about you? Are you actually studying for once? I had to hold back a laugh, I knew they very rarely did revision and I was glad today they were. Why did Lissa have to be so happy around Christian? Whenever she gets to happy I'm pulled into her head and I don't like it.

Yes Rose, what else would we...oh yeah bond. I was glad she has finally realised the pain she put me through, it's watching it that makes you feel all weird and violated. When I'm in her head I am her, what she think and feels is then mine. I'm so glad I haven't started falling for Christian.

Did you want anything in particular? I didn't mean to sound rude but I couldn't help it. I was having a happy rare moment.

Once you're finished I need to talk to you! It's about Tasha! I suddenly felt defensive and angry, Lissa must have my silence as an 'I'll be there' I felt that she was no longer in my head and when my eyes focus back on Dimitri's concerned face.

"What's up?" He asked, I could feel my anger rise as I thought of my rival Tasha. She was in love with Dimitri and even though I knew he says he wouldn't go with her I still didn't trust a Moroi who can use compulsion.

"Nothing." My voice sounded odd as I lied to him. He knew I was lying as he rolled on his belly, his face inches from mine as I laid in the same position.

"Roza, I know something's up. Were you just speaking to Lissa?" Oh how I hated that he knew me so well. I didn't want to tell him that I was annoyed because once again as Dimitri and I suddenly got settled Tasha comes along and destroys everything!

"Lissa said she has something important to tell me and I'm not sure what but it's important!" I wasn't going to tell him the truth.

"You should go and see her." I looked at him shocked.

"Are you trying to get rid of me Comrade?" A cheeky smile cracked across his face as he lent in a kissed me.

"Of course not but if it's important..." Lissa told me to go once I was finished but I was curious to find out what she knew.

"Will you be able to survive a whole day on your own?" He looked thoughtful for a while, before the smile grew.

"My book and I will be fine!" I laughed as I leaned in and kissed him long and lovingly, a goodbye kiss. I knew I probably wouldn't see him till tomorrow but that was enough to keep me going.

I allowed myself one last look at him before I made my way towards Lissa's room. As usual she was happy to see me but I couldn't help but feel angered at the thought of our conversation being about Tasha.

"So what's so important?" I asked as I felt the same anger return to my stomach.

"I was talking to Christian and he mentioned about Christmas and how his aunt was coming to stay here at the academy." I looked at her patiently, I expected as much but I didn't understand what so important about that.

"And…?" I asked once she didn't say anymore on the subject. She looked at me and sighed, she obviously didn't want to tell me what was she was holding back from me.

"She's going to ask Dimitri to become her personal guardian, she really likes him and I can guess she will do anything she can." Once again my anger skipped up a notch. Why can't we just for once be happy? Is that why Romeo and Juliet killed themselves, to be left alone.

"He won't leave though!" I was trying to convince myself not her. I knew Dimitri loved me but he was seven years older than me and wanted things I wasn't ready for yet.

"I know but I thought I would warn you." She was being a good friend and I appreciated it but I couldn't think of the idea of Tasha kissing Dimitri instead of me.

Now I knew of Tasha's plan, I know I will become paranoid when I see Tasha with Dimitri. I'll probably become one of those pushy girls I never want to be and accidently start pushing him into her arms. He tells me all the time that he loves me, that he will never leave me and will do anything, including giving up his job, to be with me.

But what if Tasha offers him something so good and worth it that he will leave me, could I let him go? Would I be able to get over him? The thought of Dimitri no longer in my life kills me but I know she could give him everything and when he realise that what Tasha is offering him is everything he wants, he will forget about me.

I held back the tears that threatened to pour out my eyes at the thought. Lissa wrapped her arms around me and I knew she knew what I was thinking.

"I just want us to be normal for once!" I whined. I know I keep thinking it but my life was pretty unfair.

"I think Dimitri loves you too much to leave you for Tasha no matter what she offers him." Once again she was being the reassuring best friend but unless she knows that for definite I will still worry.

I decided to go back to my room; I wanted to sleep as I was suddenly tired. I had a nice dream to start off with, the same one with Dimitri and our kids but then it went dark, the clouds hid the sun and Tasha appeared. She grabbed Dimitri and the next I knew they were gone.

I woke up abruptly; my head was thumping as hard as my heart. I didn't want to go back to sleep and I was suddenly no longer tired. I grabbed my dressing gown and slipped my feet into my fluffy slippers and creaked my door open. I was glad when I didn't see any guardians but that didn't stop me from hurrying towards the door.

The wind was cool and refreshing on my face; I took in a deep breath and walked around the side of the building. I leant against the stone wall of the building, closing my eyes as I let the cool wind whip around my face. It woke me up but I still didn't forget the nightmare I had just had.

When I opened my eyes I was relieved to see the sun. It feels like forever since I last saw it and its rays was warm on my skin. I could see the top of it as it began to set over the trees and I felt sad at the fact that I have missed the best of it.

Footsteps came from around the corner and I suddenly panicked. Although Stigori can't go out in the day, guardians are constantly on patrol for the students who think they can sneak around. Like me!

I continued to walk, increasing my speed as I neared the corner, I heard the footsteps stop and I prepared to hear my full name to be called but to my surprise the female voice was actually soothing.

"Rose?" I turned my head to see my mother, her auburn hair blowing around her face. I didn't know if this was a bad thing or a good thing that she was the guardian who had caught me. As she was staying here she would have to chip in and help with the guardian rounds.

"Mum." I said as I turned all the way around to face her. I could see the surprised expression cross her face before turning to curiosity.

"May I ask what you are doing out here? And in your night clothes?" I knew what she thinking, Meeting Dimitri? But I was glad I wasn't with him, if she caught us again she would probably be even angrier.

"I had a bad dream and needed some fresh air, the sunset is beautiful!" I said looking back towards the trees where the sky had turned that reddish colour. I saw her nod before looking back at me.

"Come on; let's get you back in before you freeze." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder as she pulled me back towards the door I had snuck out of.

We walked in awkward silence as she led me to my room; I opened the door and turned to her.

"Thanks!" I said before turning and closing the door on her, she had a lot of work to do before she could truly be treated as my mother.

I went to my mirror and examined my eye. Sure enough it had begun to bruise; making my cheekbone and eye look purplish and god did it hurt as I brushed my fingers gently across it. I sighed and turned to look at my alarm clock that was sitting on my bedside table. I hurried to get changed and ran towards the gym, so happy to finally see Dimitri.

There he was sitting, looking at me with loving eyes; I dropped my bag and ran into his opened arms. I loved how warm he felt in his sweater. When I pulled back I saw him reach his hand up towards the face, pushing my fringe out the way of my eye. I flinched as he gently brushed his soft fingers across the purple shadow. It still hurt but I was glad it had died down since yesterday; Dimitri dropped his hand and grabbed mine, entwining our fingers.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, his eyes rooming over it before they returned to my eyes.

"Yes, not so much!" I said as I pulled his free hand and cupped it to my bruised eye, leaning into it.

He smiled and pressed his lips to mine, keeping his hand on my cheek. I was savouring this moment, I knew Tasha was arriving today and I would be out of time. What a shit Christmas!

"Running or Sparring? Your choice?" I asked as I pulled away, flashing him a cheeky smile as I grabbed his other hand and pulled him up off the floor. Once he stood and gained his balance he smiled his cheeky smile.

"Running." I groaned at him, he knew how much I hated it and today it was colder than usual. The best thing I didn't have school today, it was officially the Christmas holidays, thank god. He pulled me with him towards the entrance of the gym, he stopped and lightly kissed our entwined hands before letting go and slipping to teacher mode but keeping the loving gleam in his eyes.

Of course we ran for a while but as usual I got bored, the silence was just boring. I loved sparring with Dimitri; he never held back which made me work harder. It was like a competition between us and it was fun when I won, which only happened once because he was distracted. He also took advantage of the times he distracted me. He would suddenly kiss me and then pin me, I have no idea how that can be a lesson, I am positive that a Stigori will get no where near my lips.

For the third time this morning, Dimitri pinned me to the floor, straddling me as he made a staking motion with his hands as he plunged it into my chest, wearing a celebrating smile. I pushed at his chest for him to move back but instead his kissed me.

The kiss was getting more intense and I couldn't help but think about how this could spiral out of control due to how he was still straddling me. I felt my heart race at the thought.

"You know we are going to end up getting carried away!" I teased as his lips moved to my neck; I suddenly had a flash back of our embarrassing incident up against the wall with my mother walking in. I can guess it wouldn't be me she punched if she caught us now; it would turn into a Guardian smack down. He pulled away from my neck and kissed my lips hard.

"Come on I want to show you something." He said as he stood and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the gym door.