She saw the scene before her with disbelieving eyes. The group was around Lance and staring at her, mouths gaping. Here was someone back from the dead…
But she wasn't the only one who had died.
Pa
lay on the ground, blood running from a hole in his chest. He had
been shot…or rather, shot himself, as it seemed. Lance looked
distraught, disturbed, and deeply depressed. His eyes were hollow,
but quickly changing. He ran to her, pushing through the group and
holding her tightly, sobbing into her shoulder.
"I thought
you were gone." He choked.
"I…I did too…"
She said, wrapping her arms around him, still staring at the corpse
that lay on the ground before her.
"Lance what did you do…?"
She asked in a choked, soft whisper.
"I…" He stopped, hugging her tightly, shaking. "I did…I didn't…I wanted…" He couldn't get it out. She was going to leave him now…he could tell. "I'm so sorry." He choked out. "I wasn't thinking. I was…I didn't mean to…I just…I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry." He kissed her head, kissed her cheeks.
Why,
why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In
my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the
truth
I don't deserve You
"But
you DID!" Meg's voice came, and Lance ignored it. He tightened
his grip on Kali, crying into her hair.
"Please don't leave
me." He choked. "Please, Kali…don't leave me." He
was shaking.
"I…"
Kali looked past him, at Meg, at Pa.
"I won't…" She
whispered, falling as Lance collapsed to his knees, crying.
But
I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this
time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve
what I already have
I need You to love me
He was a broken wreck, unable to convey the grief that was rushing through him. Unable to convey how deeply and truly sorry he was. He hadn't meant to actually shoot Pa. He hadn't meant any of it. He didn't know what had come over him…
Meg was looking at Kali with contempt, her eyes shining. How could she…How could she side with him?? That bastard had killed her grandfather! He had killed him in cold blood!
"Lance…Lance I have to go for a little while…" Kali said to him, touching his face. He instinctively grasped her waist, shaking his head, but she forced him off. "Stay here…I'll come back. I promise." She stood up and walked to Meg, grasping her friend's arm with a strength she didn't know she had. "Come with me." She told her.
"No! No, get away, you traitor! I hate you too! I hate you both!"
Since Kali had returned from her trip
with death, she had gained a bit of wisdom. It was now that she
deemed it a good time to exercise said wisdom.
"MEG LISTEN TO
ME!!" She shouted. "Don't SAY that!! Look what comes from
it!! Look!!" She forced Meg to look at Pa's body. "Do you
see it?! Do you see the only thing you'll ever get from it?!
Nothing! Nothing at all, and nothing good!" She shook Meg's
shoulders.
The other girl was crying, shaking with Kali's
hands. "But Pa…Pa…"
"I know…" Kali said,
hugging her, soon joined by Shade. "It's okay…" She said,
tears rolling down her own cheeks.
"No…no it's not okay…"
Meg cried. Kali squeezed her own eyes shut and hugged her tighter.
"It will be…"
I,
I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just
never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has
all things
And still You want me
Lance
watched this exchange with his heart tearing. Kali didn't want him
now. Nobody did. Nobody would. Just like his dad told him…
Everybody was busy with Meg and Pa. Nobody was paying attention
to him. Shaking, he made his way up the stairs and out of the house,
breaking into a run as soon as his foot hit the dirt. He had to get
out of here. He had to get away. He didn't want to hurt them anymore…
But
I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this
time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve
what I already have
I need You to love me
Meg pulled away from Kali and fell to her knees beside Pa, hugging his body and ignoring the blood that seeped onto her chest.
Kali looked around, her eyes widening as she saw Lance was missing. "Lance??" She asked, spinning around. He really was gone. "Lance!" She shouted, running up the stairs. Nobody followed, almost all of them too angry to look at the teen at the moment. But not her.
She was afraid for him.
She loved him.
No
matter what he did, she couldn't help it. She'd always love him,
through thick and thin. She didn't know what to call this, but it was
definitely horrible. She saw a path through the thick grass and
followed it, stumbling a few times but keeping on the trail that she
was positive was Lance's.
"Lance!!" She shouted his
name, glimpsing him ahead. He sped up, running away, darting into the
trees. She followed, catching up and throwing herself onto him in a
tackle.
Your
love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who
I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been
Lance
fell to the ground with her on top of him, her hair falling in his
face.
"Lance stop." She said, hugging him and wrapping
her legs around him. "Don't leave." She whispered. "I
love you. Don't leave."
He forgot what had just happened. He forgot why he had left. All he knew was that she was here. She was here and she wanted him. He lifted his head up and kissed her, pushed her up against the tree. She kissed him back, knowing full well that this wasn't the time for it…but she knew he needed it. They entangled with each other, falling to the ground, showing how little either of them wanted to leave.
But
I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this
time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve
what I already have
I need You to love me
"Why…"
He whispered, holding her close.
"Why not?" She kissed
him, burying her head in his shoulder.
Meg stood in the driveway, watching as the ambulance pulled away. She couldn't believe it. She hadn't believed it when she was kneeling on the floor. Pa's blood stained her shirt…warm…sticky…
But she didn't care. Pa was alive. The bullet had missed all of his vital organs. It was a miracle. Pa was alive.
But where was Lance? She had to…she had to tell Lance.
Her fire and fury was spent, overcome by her relief. She just wanted to help Lance now…now that she understood what he was feeling.
When she had come upon he and Pa in the basement, she had felt an almost undeniable need to shoot Lance in the head. To blow his insides across the room…to kill him. But now she didn't know what to do. She was confused, like he was. Now she knew how he felt…and she figured that would be enough to mend what had broken between them.
