A/N: I seem to have a knack for updating RIGHT before the new episodes every Friday. xD Whatever keeps the story going!

I don't own the song "Everything We Had" by The Academy Is... Had some trouble with choosing the song though. :S It was a toss-up but these little rascals won in the end. xD

Disclaimer: I won the lotto and bought CTV, thus I own everything. xD Nah, but really, I'm broke. I own nothing. ;_;


It was the only place I'd never known
Turned off the light on my way out the door
I will be with you wherever you go

You have been followed back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist

You saw for yourself, the way it played out
For you, I am blinded


I love the rain. Really, I do. I love listening to the soft pangs on my window in the middle of the night. The sound is soothing, rhythmic, almost melodic. Rain was something we all needed to learn to treasure.

I also despise how people had misused the term of rain over the years. I would log in to social networking sites every night and see countless pictures of darkness and melancholy with captions describing the rain as the closest thing to happiness they'll ever find. As if the rain was the only consolation to their miserable life. I never understood it; the rain had always been a symbol of cleansing and purity to me.

Yet, as I sat on the edge of a wobbly picnic table near the entrance of the school, my arms wrapped tightly around my waist to stop myself from falling to pieces as a few droplets of rain splattered on my already messy hair, I understood. I understood them when they said: "I love walking in the rain because nobody knows I'm crying."

The sky was overcast and the students were rushing indoors or opening umbrellas, taking a moment to shoot awkward glances my way as they wondered why I sat solemnly out in the open, allowing the few raindrops that fell from the sky to scrape my face, blending in with the residue of tears that had pooled out of my eyes naught but a moment ago. For once, I didn't care. Let them look at me. If they knew what I had seen, they'd do the same.

I wanted to keep my glasses after my surgery and give them to my mother; she wanted to donate them to the ophthalmology clinic at the hospital. But Alliah is a fiery, enthusiastic girl. She wouldn't let me keep them, insisting that my change was good for me. She didn't even let me explain why I wanted to keep them; she just tossed them into the open road, unaware of her surroundings. In all honesty, I don't think she did it on purpose. But when I heard the deafening crunch of broken glass under a tire, I almost let my anger out on her. Those were expensive glasses!

Yet… the way he swiftly and so expertly ghosted from the driver's seat and picked up the crushed mess from the road, the way his lanky hands cradled my broken glasses in his grip and that smile, that shy little smile that danced on his lips only but a moment as he handed my glasses to me…

Alli seemed irrelevant. The world around me seemed irrelevant. I think I had forgotten my name for a split second.

I think they're dead

I was at a loss for words. My mouth spilled a string of nonsensical words but my heart and mind were focused on his eyes. I had never seen eyes like his before; sparkles of jade examining my every stress, my every falter. He stared directly at my eyes, as if trying to draw up some sort of conclusion from them.

You have pretty eyes

My mother had always told me to watch for evil men. She had always taught me that boys clad in darkness with no love for authority or religion must be avoided at all costs, for they are the works of the devil, sent to me to spite me or divert me from my spiritual path. This boy, this dark, mysterious, lovely boy would have sent her running to the hills. I couldn't care less.

His eyes scanning my every movement, that little smirk escaping his lips when he dropped his gaze for a split second… I had to see him again.

I made it clear I only wished to see him again; never did I think I'd scream for him in a public area. Then again, it's not as if I did it for him; my public humiliation was merely an act of defence for my pride. He had insulted my ego, telling me I was too afraid of what people thought of me. Who am I to let him get away with such nonsense?

In all honesty, I didn't mind the embarrassment; I didn't mind the strange stares from pedestrians nor did I mind the angry grunt from the old man who ran the flower shop behind us. What did bother me was Eli's reluctance to do the same. After all, he obviously doesn't care what people think of him since he's preaching this nonsense to me; why would he ever care?

I remember advancing towards him, pointing a threatening finger to him as he backed into a telephone pole. I wasn't angry or upset. I was happy; genuinely happy. I was having the most fun I had had in a long while. And for once, I felt as if maybe some of the things I had been taught throughout the course of my life could be overlooked. Eli was the boy every parent prayed their daughter wouldn't bring home to dinner. At least, he looked the part. I found something much more prominent in the few hours I had spent with him.

He definitely stayed true to his image; he was ruthless, stubborn, violent and manipulative. Yet, the sincerity in his smile when he read over my work, the look of amusement creeping on his face as he watched me humiliate myself and his laughter as he tightened his grip on my wrists… it was genuine.

I felt my breath cut short as I realized the close proximity between us, our lips merely a few inches apart. I remember taking in the scent of his breath against my skin, an intoxicating aroma of coffee and apples as his jade eyes scanned my surprised blue ones. This wasn't like the first time we met; he wasn't examining my eyes, trying to discover some sort of meaning to them. It was if he was reading a book, and I was the countless number of poetic words etched on the parchment he held in his hands. He wasn't figuring me out; he knew me. With naught but a glance at my eyes…

I was taken aback when he had let me go. Perhaps it was for the best. Although that one moment of perfection lasted mere seconds, I knew it was the start of a wonderful friendship. Perhaps something more… although I'm pretty sure he saw that hope in my eyes as well…

At that moment, my objective was clear. Eli Goldsworthy was mine, and only mine. Only I would discover his treasures, the secrets he hid behind the smiles he would flash solely to me. Perhaps we were only English partners; perhaps we may have even been friends. But to me… he was the first and last boy I would ever love.

Even if he'd never know it.

Forget what I said. The students who shot me awkward glances… they didn't deserve to see what I had seen in Eli. Heck, they didn't even deserve to look at him strolling through the halls. I believed not one soul deserved enough to lay eyes on such perfection.

Not even me.

It was so easy to convince him I had a deplorable amount of hate for him after the events from two weeks before. It was an ironic turn of events working in my favour. He had hurt me in a way that I never dreamed possible. Yet… I'm thankful.

It was a sign that I couldn't mean much to him. Friends, perhaps. Nothing more. If he was willing to hurt me in such a way without considering my thoughts or feelings in the process… he couldn't have much love for me. At least, not the amount I had for him.

I would cry a river for him. I would trade a thousand knives to see that smile again, the one he reserved solely for me.

And I will never be deserving of his perfection.

I don't love you, Eli

I'm going to hell. I had uttered the ultimate lie. Might as well get used to the droplets of rain that splattered on my face. It will be worse in the afterlife…

What more do I have to look forward to now? I have sent him away, convinced him that I will never feel anything but platonic emotions towards him. I will probably watch him move on; I will watch him find other girls and smile at them the way he smiled at me. I would envy them when they would get a taste of his lips, an intricate mix of bitterness and caramel that I adored. And I will watch in graveness as I knew in my heart…

That no girl would ever love him the way I did.

I won't be going to hell for that. It's the truth. He deserved nothing but perfection. And although I am far from the embodiment of perfection, the love and adoration I possessed could never be rivalled.

And he will never know that.

The rain had become heavier and I felt my hair quickly grow damp as the moisture began soaking my clothes. The students had scurried inside for shelter, leaving me and my dark thoughts without an umbrella. I couldn't find it in my heart to care anymore. The rain used to be beautiful to me.

I felt my heart drop when I caught a glimpse of him. Him. The boy who made my heart stop at the sight of his gemstone eyes and took my breath away with the curtsy on his lips he called a smirk.

I prayed with my entire being that he would not catch a glimpse of me not too far away, my soaked hair pressed against my face and my pain-stricken gaze as he scoured the entrance of the school. I couldn't bear to see him again. Not after before…

Not after everything we had.

I don't think I'd be able to keep my composure. I don't think I'd be able to speak soft, strenuous words if he decided to grace me with his presence. Most of all, I didn't think I'd be able to keep the tears at bay as they danced on my eyelashes, threatening to fall as I watched him stride towards me, a sullen look in his eyes as the rain drenched his flawless form.

He obviously didn't get the message. I would have to make it clearer. Yet… I don't think I had the strength in me to hurt him again.

I just loved him too much.

Everything we had is no longer there


Next chapter will be the last. *sob* I want to go all out. So, I promise to put every single meaningless scrap of writing skills I have into that chapter. I need to take a risk with my writing! (loleclarereferencexD) But, I'll need some motivation... Hmm... Oh, why hello there, Mr. Review Button! What's that you say? I'll get motivation if people CLICK you? How interesting! xD Reviews keep me writing.