30 April, 2011

She kicked the door closed and dropped heavily on the bed before her in a very unlady like way. She'd been staying in Venice for about a week. At first she thought it wasn't original enough, but than originality flew right out of the window when she saw for the second time in her life the Grand Canal along with the seagulls and the gondolas. She'd been there already the summer she graduated from high school. She'd flown back to the States with her father after what happened in Rome and finished high school there.

She would never, ever, admit it, but she missed traveling like crazy. Her all life had been moving and then all of a sudden she didn't even travel on Christmas break.

At the moment she knew she had to move again, at least find a place a bit more hidden. She thought of Milan, maybe she would stay in the suburban area, not the best, but it was good enough. She was going to move in a week maybe two, depending on how much more time she e felt like staying, it's not like she had anything better to do. She was staying in Italy because it was the only place that really felt like home besides the US, she couldn't obviously stay and France, from which she'd just run.

She hadn't taken Rome or Tuscany into consideration as a possible location, too many memories, while she's never been to Milan, maybe she's even in time for the fashion week.

She looked out of the window, still sometimes she expected to see the Capitol, and the DC lights. Some mornings she still woke up at six ready to hop in the shower and get ready for work. It had been almost two months, no matter how much she longed to be back, it wasn't going to happen in the short foreseeable future.

Opening the wardrobe in her room she took out sweat pants and an old t-shirt she'd swiped Morgan ages ago, which Clyde had provided her. She'd been wearing it so much in the last few weeks holes were starting to show in several places.

She entered the shower and was out in less than five minutes. Changing into her comfy clothes she switched on the tv to watch some mindless fiction. Her Italian was good enough that she could watch an original show, but she much preferred the dubbed version of CSI or Grey's Anatomy. It made her feel that much closer to home.

She must have fallen asleep, because a sharp knock to the door startled her. She rose quickly and opened.

It was a book. The cover had been remade and the pages were definitely yellow. Suggesting the book must be rather old. Emily opened it and turned a few pages to realize it was in Italian. It was Dante's Divine Comedy, Inferno. Sh found a red silky bookmark in the Canto V, where a few lines had been lightly underlined with a pencil.

"Amor, ch'al cor gentil ratto s'apprende,
prese costui de la bella persona
che mi fu tolta; e 'l modo ancor m'offende.

Amor, ch'a nullo amato amar perdona,
mi prese del costui piacer sì forte,
che, come vedi, ancor non m'abbandona.

Amor condusse noi ad una morte.
Caina attende chi a vita ci spense.
Queste parole da lor ci fuor porte.

." v 100-108

It was one of her favorite parts, nobody knew about it though. Not the team, they really didn't know about her passion for classics, not Clyde, not anyone. Maybe Matthew or John knew, but she doubted that was their doing, mostly because being the former dead and the latter completely unaware of her being alive, or dead even.

She dropped the book on the nightstand, turned off the tv and slipped under the covers, trying to decipher the meaning of her latest found.

August 4, 2003

"Is it true?" inquired a really curious Ian Doyle at his newly found mate, as she rebuttoned her leather jacket sitting on the edge of the bed.

They'd met a couple weeks before, started business and one night after a couple of drinks, a dozen for Emily- well -Lauren, they'd kissed and later agreed there was surely some mutual attraction. Emily hadn't been given any specific order to seduce him, just use his attraction to her to her benefit, or rather the benefit of the whole operation.

After Jack introduced them, they started to go out and have non work related meetings. She was still getting used to respond to Lauren instead of Emily, while Ian had already brought her home, his home, a couple of times. Man and testosterone, she thought, they make my job far too easy sometimes.

"It's true. Don't be so surprised."

Her cover was based on her, almost totally on her, minus some important details, among which, her parents, Lauren's parents, were dead, she went to school to Italy and France because her father had business there. Her attitude was pretty much the same, minus Lauren didn't feel sick every time Ian kissed her or touched her or said cheesy, corny things to her.

In fact Lauren was the daughter of a terrorist, much like Ian, and a drug addict. Her mother disappeared when she was still very young and her father brought her up, but spent way too much time away from her. She loved school, studying and reading, too bad genetics worked their way into getting her in her father's business and run it after he passed. Ian had been somehow fascinated by her story. It reminded him so much of his and his son's. He would love if one day Declan took over running his deals.

His thoughts shifted to the beautiful, attractive woman next to him. She was getting dressed, she was going home. They'd had sleepovers, but she had an appointment with a buyer the next day, she couldn't afford to be late or tired, well too tired. "Next time we can read something together maybe." he tried. He was still trying to understand if she really liked him, or if she was screwing him as a stress relief. She'd just reveled to him how much she loved reading, she couldn't just flat out lie on somethings, so he took it as a way to connect with her, being himself a fan of ancient literature.

If she'd known about his insecurities, she would have burst out laughing. Emily turned suddenly at his proposition. Shed already forgotten she had just told him. "You bring the book, I'll bring my magnificent self. I'll call you after I'm done so we can work out the details." she bent over the bed to kiss him briefly and took off.

"I'll hold you onto that Lauren." he trailed off as he watched her form walking away.

As planned they met at his place, never hers, she'd better keep her place a secret until it was strictly necessary to take him there. He sometimes asked why they were always at his and never at Lauren's, so in a short time he'd probably demand to visit the place.

He'd brought Dante's Inferno. "The Canto V is definitely my favorite part." he said amazed at the words on the paper.

That surprised Emily big time. A terrorist with a such a refined taste in literature. "You're right it's probably one of the best. Although the Canto I has some potential."

He looked at the book for some time. "But the story behind this one, a man shooting two lovers, a man shooting his brother and wife, it's so modern yet now we'd consider them martyrs while Dante still puts them in the Inferno and at the same time he gives this part a much more elevated meaning, through language, through the single words he uses."

"Mmm," she murmured thoughtfully, "this part is really unbelievable. They're rotting in hell and still he emphasizes with them, unlike others, he really is a genius."

Emily, Lauren, was laying on the bed holding her head up with her hand, Ian was laying on the other side of the book. She could tolerate this, imagining him as just the man who loved Lauren, made the trick, but whenever her eyes trailed ever so briefly over the scars on his forehead all came back to mind. She was trying her best to separate Emily and Lauren, her whole assignment was based on her compartmentalization skill, if she successfully learned how to separate Lauren and Emily, she could make it.

He looked at her, stared at her with the sweetest smile. She blushed and looked down at the printed page. "He's surely smart, but maybe he shouldn't really emphasize with them, after all they betrayed the trust of someone who loved them. I don't think I could emphasize with them."

That shocked Emily, a young Francesca had been forced to marry a older, not so appealing, rugged Giovanni, and then fell in love with his younger brother Paolo. One day Giovanni caught his wife and brother together and killed them on the spot. Sure Emily thought it was wrong, to cheat on someone, but hers hadn't been a marriage based on love, in the 1300s marriages rarely were. She could understand why she did it, just like Dante had. Emily, on the other hand, couldn't get Ian's point. "So you would kill even someone you love, if they betrayed you?"

Ian looked at her wide eyed. "Well, wouldn't you?" he shrieked. "You should be able to trust the people you love, not watch your back from them too."

Emily looked away for a moment, long enough for her to compose herself, quick enough not to draw too much attention.

He hadn't said it, he probably wouldn't for awhile, but Emily knew he loved her, or rather he loved Lauren. It'd been obvious for over a week now, she had no intentions of telling him, or let him know she knew. She'd managed not to sleep with him until now, she really didn't want to do it, but she'd come to terms with the fact that him falling for her meant it was inevitable. It was all about her holding off now, it would happen eventually.

She was going to betray him. She was just doing her job, sure, but it didn't made it easier. He loved her, she was going to betray her, he was going to want to kill her. Hopefully by the time he'd realize it was all an act he'd be locked up somewhere in a political prison in Siberia or anywhere he wouldn't evade easily.

"If it was someone I loved, I would hold a grudge for twenty years, but I don't think I could ever kill someone I love." not kill anyone, kill someone she loved. It was surprising sometimes how she got into Lauren so easily.

She remembered for no real reason the words of another author she personally adored, you are who you pretend to be, so be careful who you pretend to be. She surely missed Kurt Vonnegut, but she couldn't give away too much. Just the things no one else knew. Lauren was somehow Emily's part that nobody really knew. She was reckless just like Emily, alright, but she also killed without hesitating, she was into business with some of the most dangerous dealers, she showed feelings, she didn't bottle up, didn't shut everyone out. She didn't compartmentalize, well strictly speaking.

Ian took her hand and brought it to his mouth. He placed a feather like kiss on every knuckle. "You're way too good."

Lauren smiled. She cared about the man. Lauren, not Emily. He showed such care and adoration for her like nobody had ever, she was flattered, truth is, neither Emily had ever met someone that treated her as Ian did. She leaned in and kissed him, slowly, gently.

Usually whenever she started the kiss it was quick and most of the time on the cheek. She'd tried not to fall into her own trick, but she wasn't as good as she thought. He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. They were face to face and the rest of their bodies almost perfectly matched if not for the slight height difference.

Emily kept her hands pressed against his chest, as a defense pose, instinct, she hadn't really come to trust him. She would never trust him, she could trust his love for Lauren though. She could trust the fact that he would never do anything to her.

He deepened the kiss and moved his hand behind her back. He started rubbing circles, while he felt her hands creeping up his scalp, playing with the little hair he had. Her leg was wrapped over his hip. Ian let his hands slide downward, to her hip and lower. As she felt his hand overcome the boundaries she'd mentally put on touchable body parts she jerked and pulled away from him.

When she was far enough to look at him in the eyes she must have reacted so suddenly he hadn't even realized what had set her off, being his hand still on her. She smiled warmly to put any worry he might have away.

"What's wrong?" he asked worried. "You okay?"

She shook her head. If just he wasn't an arms dealer, a killer, the object of her assignment. Wait, no. she couldn't think like that.

Pushing away thoughts that seemed way too dangerous, she kissed him briefly. "No, I just..." she bit her lip. She was at loss of words. Her previous thoughts distracting her from her main goal. "Can we just sleep? I'm really tired, today's meeting was exhausting."

He looked at her for so long. His baby blue eyes looked so comforting and yet so dangerous. For the first time since she went undercover she felt at ease, she'd gained the man's trust and had gotten to know him well enough to know he wasn't going to try her and make her prove she was worthy of him.

Ian ran the back of his forefinger down her cheek, barely touching her skin. "Of course, love."

And she fell asleep just like that, against him, in his arms. In the arms of the man that loved her.

April 31, 2011

Emily jerked away in bed. It had been a dream, but it'd seemed so real.

Because it was real. One of the memories she'd thought she'd stored in the famous box along with Lauren Reynolds. Her brain must have been in the mood for some spring cleaning, messing with old dusty boxes. She longed for a second on the feelings from the dream, until the real meaning of the whole thing, the goal of her brain got her.

Dante. Inferno. Canto V.

Damn.

Ian Doyle had found her again. As he'd said, you fooled me once, you can't fool me twice. He must have checked whether she had been dead for real this time, before even believing it. It'd taken him two months to find her.

Damn.


A/N I rewrote this at least a thousand times. Next updates should be quicker, not making promises, though. Let me know what ya think. :)