A Matter of State

Chapter Four: Returning

Disclaimer: I don't own the Wheel of Time

For Whitty.


Morgase read Elayne's letter. Ordinary, day-to-say occurences, a brief mention of why she had went missing and had the Royal House up in arms, Morgase herself frantic with worry, and then onto her studies and how she had been raised to the Accepted. Sometimes Morgase did not like her daughter very much.

But she couldn't help but smile - vaguely, kindly, at the thought of her daughter training to be the strongest Aes Sedai in centuries. Whatever she had said to Siuan Sanche, whatever Gaebril thought...Aes Sedai.

She felt a small flutter of delight. How Morgase would have liked to be Aes Sedai, had she had more strength than to fill a thimble with.

She wondered were Gaebril was. He was often busy. Often doing more than was required of him. She smiled again. It was good to have a man like that, good to have someone to take off the burden.

There was a knock at the door. Morgase looked up in time to see a maid burst into the room, out of breath, trailed by Elaida Sedai.

Elaida?

Morgase sat up straighter, staring at Elaida, who was still wrapped in her travelling cloaks that hid the tender curves of her body.

"What are you doing -" She was cut off by the maid.

"Your Majesty," The woman said through her pants or exertion. Elaida crossed her arms irritably, staring at the girl. "She insisted, Your Majesty, forced her way in - and Lord Gaebril gave strict instructions that you were not to be -"

"Lord Gaebril does not rule in Andor," Elaida said sharply. "You'd do well to remember that,"

"But - "

Morgase was still staring at Elaida, whose trust and respect she had managed to destroy not so long ago. A month, at best. "Leave us," She said to the maid.

"But, Your Majesty, Lord Gaebril -"

Morgase felt herself waver at the mention of Gaebril's name. Would he be angry with her? She had been forbidden any private chats with anybody, particularly Aes Sedai. She chewed her lower lip, uncertain.

"Didn't you hear me, girl?" Elaida's voice was low and dangerous. Morgase glanced up at her, again surprised at how she noticed how darkly beautiful Elaida was angry, and then again at the maid, who quivered - with fear, more than likely, than with indignation. "Gaebril's word means nothing. Nothing,"

"Yes," Morgase agreed half-heartedly.

The girl looked torn, wondering whose wrath would be worse, the Queen's or Gaebril's. She slowly curtseyed and backed out, clicking the door shut behind her.

Elaida's head swung around towards Morgase at the sound of the click. Morgase was strong enough in the power to know when a ward against eavesdropping was being woven.

"I was sent," Elaida said in a low voice, almost a purr. "To inform you that you daughter has been found - or came back would be more accurate. But - ah! I see," She plucked the letter from Morgase's lap, scanning the contents and managing a smirk at the signature. "I see you have been informed. The Amyrlin Seat thought you might wish to apologise and reinstate me as Adviser,"

This barely registered with Morgase. She was staring up at Elaida's face, trying to remember how long it had been. Elaida had been weighing on her mind all the way back to Caemlyn , guilt gnawed at her, yet, when she returned, it seemed as if it simply...vanished. She could not remember why or when, but suddenly all her attention was fixed squarely on Gaebril, who had wormed his way in so quickly it was as if he had always been there. She could not remember the days when Elaida and Gareth Byrne alone advised her

Elaida's face flickered with ill-hid concern. "Things have changed, Morgase,"

"Oh?"

"Who is this Gaebril that I've heard so much about?"

"A man - an advisor and suitor," Morgase's face flushed.

Elaida's expression did not change. She tapped the letter thoughtfully to the side of her mouth. "Suitor? When did this come about?"

"Not long after I came back from Tar Valon," Morgase replied, then, suddenly, with a rising sense of pleasure, "I'm glad you came back,"

Elaida glanced at her, surprised. "Really?"

"I missed you,"

Elaida could not contain the smile that tugged at her mouth. She coughed abruptly, to hide it. "Yes, well...you have handed over all aspects of business to him?"

"Not ialli," Though, in truth, she could not think of a thing he was not involved in. Her face flushed again, this time with a deeper embarrassment. At the time, it had seemed perfectly reasonable. Yet now, with Elaida's eyes peering down, judging, it seemed foolish.

Elaida just continued to stare. Morgase hated being pitied. "I love him," She said defensively. "I want the man I love to be involved in what I do,"

"You loved Thomdil and Taringail," Elaida replied flatly. She omited herself from the list. "And you never let them become so involved - indeed, Taringail wanted to become involved and you wouldn't let him. It is rumoured that Thomdil Merrilin's knives found their way into your husband because of that,"

"Thomdil? Taringail?" The names stirred brief, illusive memories, like ghosts dancing at the edge of her perceptiveness.

Elaida's forehead creased with worry. "And, above all, Morgase...you've changed," She paused delicately and then, with meaning behind the words, "In weeks,"

Morgase merely shrugged. "Nonsense,"

Elaida veered away from Morgase to stand in front of the window, peering out. She made a conscious effort not to look around. "You seem weak, Morgase,"

The Queen gasped, pulling herself from the chair and following Elaida angrily. "Weak?"

"Very weak," Still Elaida did not turn. "I have heard things on the road - the Madness of the Queen. Whippings, beatings of your most loyal servants," She turned and peered into the Morgase's eyes. "Did Gaebril tell you to do that?"

"Of course not!" He had, of course. Brought her rumours of plots, of secret meetings between houses to plan her downfall. Morgase felt a nasty weight settle in her stomach. Yet that was all they had been - rumours. Elaida was picking holes in Morgase's reality.

Elaida was still staring, still with that vestige of pity. Then, without warning, she leaned forward and brushed her lips across Morgase's. Morgase felt something stir inside her, a forgotten passion, and felt herself wishing, urging Elaida for more.

And Elaida gave nothing. She detangled herself from Morgase's insistent arms, gently brushing her lips across Morgase's brow. "You're not the person I knew,"

Morgase leaned against Elaida, feeling the taller woman's arms wrap around her frame and hold her close. "Light, I know," She whispered. "Dear light, I know,"

Elaida held her silently for a time. "Who is Gaebril?" She repeated.

"I don't know," She pulled back, staring up. "I don't know. He has a hold over me, Elaida, a hold I can't break, no matter what I do..." A sob choked her breast. "I sent Gareth away,"

Elaida's face was bleak, as she held the Queen tightly to her chest. "You'll find a way out, my love,"

Morgase felt herself smile shyly. "I like it when you call me that,"

"Mm?"

"'My love',"

"Oh," Elaida looked embarrassed. "Well..."

"Ladies," Their heads turned. Gaebril had entered, the door still open behind him, the maid standing in the hall, looking triumphant. He ignored her, shutting the door. "Am I interrupting?"

Morgase realised she was still cradled in Elaida's arms and her hands were still wrapped about her neck. Hideous embarrassment crept over her. Elaida did not seem to be. If anything, she held Morgase closer. "Lord Gaebril, I presume?" She said shortly.

"Elaida Sedai?" He smiled. "Our dear Queen's Aes Sedai lover,"

This time Morgase was sure of it. Elaida clung to her, her hand reached up to cup Morgase's cheek protectively, running her thumb over it.

Gaebril laughed. Elaida glowered at him, but still didn't release Morgase. "She's mine, Elaida, you realise," He flung himself in the chair Morgase had vacated.

Morgase felt herself starting to agree with him again. Certainly, she was his. When they were making love, thats what he made her repeat, over and over. What was she doing in this Aes Sedai's arms? Gently, she untangled herself, still feeling a certain tenderness for the older woman.

Elaida stared at her, but did not let her arms drop. For a moment, they stared at each other. Even with Gaebril crooning at her to come to him, Morgase could not tear herself completely from Elaida, whom she had thought she may be in love with a mere month ago.

"All I ever wanted to do," Elaida said finally, with a croak to her voice. "Was to protect and love you, Morgase, that's all I ever wanted. I never wanted your throne,"

"But you certainly want the Throne of the Aes Sedai?" Gaebril said mockingly.

Elaida didn't seem to hear. She kissed Morgase - sweetly, gently, on the lips. She tasted like honeyed tea, Morgase thought. "If this is truly what you want, Morgase," Now there was a plea in her voice. "Truly then I will leave you alone,"

Morgase gazed at her. "Of course it is,"

Gaebril laughed again, patting his lap, asking her to sit. Elaida's lip curled. "As you wish. Since Elayne has been found, I shall inform the Amyrlin to send another Aes Sedai to advise - "

"You shall not," Gaebril leaned forward, suddenly intense. "You shall tell the Amyrlin that Andor doesn't need her guidance. True, Morgase?"

"True," She said softly, dazedly. Her mind was spinning lucidly. She needed to lie down, perhaps, and have some honeyed tea.

Elaida's tongue darted out to wet her lips, glancing between the two. "If you wish," She said, uncertainly.

"Yes - and you, Aes Sedai, should leave Caemlyn right away," Gaebril said sharply, not even bothering to ask Morgase's agreement this time.

"But - " Gaebril stood up. Elaida's face flickered, hovering undecidedly between anger and submissiveness. Her eyes lingered on Morgase's before she concluded, "If it is the will of the Queen,"

"It is," Gaebril said. Morgase nodded slowly.

"So be it," She said softly. She turned to leave, stopping at the door as though she wished to say more. Her hand lingered on the handle, as though she were bracing herself for an attack. She turned her head and opened her mouth, before looking irritated with herself and slamming the door behind her.

"Fool Aes Sedai," Gaebril commented.


The End