*THIS IS A CHEAT FIC* *THIS IS A CHEAT FIC* *THIS IS A CHEAT FIC* *THIS IS A CHEAT FIC*

Just another warning (I know they are getting old) this chapter is THE chapter where it all goes down...

Back out now while you still can, don't cross into the darkside!

If you're brave enough, continue on...


Apov

I don't know how to tell Christian, I almost don't want to. Okay, I don't, but he's going to be so upset with me, thermonuclear just like he did when I told him I was pregnant with Teddy. Even though I don't want to tell him, I know I have to. I can't very well hide a pregnancy from him, in however many months we'll have a baby and it will be pretty obvious.

So I've been thinking of ways to tell him all day. I thought about going to Dr. Greene first, to confirm the pregnancy, maybe buttering him up with a chocolate cake and lingerie. Oh how I wish I could involve Teddy since he's going to be a big brother, but with what happened last time, I think it's best he not be around. I'd hate for Christian to lose his temper in front our son.

Teddy and I are already in the car, with Sawyer driving, on our way to Grace. I'm hoping she can watch Teddy for a few hours while I tell Christian he's going to be a father again.

Sawyer pulls into the Greys' driveway and brings the SUV right up to the door for us.

I quickly unbuckle Teddy, who was already starting to drift to sleep but quickly wakes when he sees where we are.

"G-G?"

"Yeah, buddy," I confirm we're at his grandparents' house. "Let's go see G-G."

Sawyer hops out to open my door for me and just as I step out, I hear the front door open.

"Ana!" I hear Grace from behind me.

When I turn around I see her rushing towards us with a huge smile on her face.

"How are you, darling?" She hugs me and Teddy at the same time since I'm holding him.

"I'm fine." I lie with a smile.

She looks at me suspicious for a spilt second before Teddy gains her attention.

"G-G." Teddy squeals with his arms out towards her.

I hand Teddy over to his grandmother and together we walk inside.

"I had Gretchen set up a lite lunch for us." Grace tells me as she leads me out to the patio. "It's such a nice day, I thought we could have girl talk while we eat out here."

"That's fine, it is a nice day."

Thankfully it is a lite lunch.

I'm not feeling many symptoms yet, just a few here and there, but I haven't been able to keep anything down since I found out. It's mostly due to nervousness than morning sickness though. I have been trying to eat smaller portions and nothing too heavy, so that's helped.

Grace and I have small talk about Teddy, life in general, the Grey family, Mia going to back to Paris soon, all throughout lunch.

Teddy has finished and is searching the yard for bugs.

It makes me smile seeing him like this. It also puts a damper on my mood. I miss our home on the Sound where he could do this sort of activity daily if he wanted to. I want to cry right now, but I hide it and my feelings behind my fake smile.

"You're glowing, dear."

I break my gaze away from Teddy to look at Grace. She's smiling a knowing smile at me.

Shit! Does she know? No, she couldn't. Could she?!

"I'm so glad you and Christian found each other, you both look so happy." She tells me and I sag in relief that she thinks I'm glowing because I'm happy, that she can't see behind my fake smile. I am happy, but I'm also terrified.

I don't know why I thought she would know. As much as I love her, she is naïve. I mean, she didn't know her friend was molesting her son for years after all.

"I love him," I tell her honestly of Christian. "He's my everything."

"Seeing Christian so happy and in love is all I ever wanted for him." She glances towards Teddy so I follow her gaze. "And now he has a family."

Speaking of which, and the reason for my visit.

"Grace would you mind watching Teddy for me?" I ask her. "I'd like to talk to Christian about something, and I don't want little ears present when I do."

"Of course, darling." She's all too willing. "Why don't you leave him overnight? That way you and Christian can have some alone time together all night instead of worrying about picking him up if it gets too late."

"That's a wonderful idea." I smile.

The suggestion is a relief. The last time I told Christian, he yelled at me, left and got drunk. I don't want Teddy to see that so it will be best if he stays with Grace all night.

~..~..~

I decided to stop at Agent Provocateur thinking maybe if I'm in sexy lingerie and give Christian some loving before I tell him, he wont be so harsh. I mean, it kind of worked the morning after. After I found her text.

As I'm looking at a sexy babydoll in a pale blue, I catch a glimpse of a very uncomfortable looking Sawyer. A giggle escapes me as I watch him, surrounded in silk, lace, and gawking woman. I'm sure they all think he's shopping for his significant other or something.

Then I see him on his phone. Great, he's probably ruining my plans; telling Christian what I'm doing and what I'm buying.

Ugh, sometimes having security around is intrusive.

Turning my attention back to the babydoll, I decide I'll get it. The sexy loose nightie will come in handy when my stomach starts to grow. But I want something a little more... revealing for tonight, so I continue my search.

My eyes land on a black lace thong. It has big bows on the side that you can pull. Easy access.

I would get the matching bra, but Christian likes me in only panties... And stockings, I'll need stockings.

Finding a garter, even though I have plenty at home, and a pair of silky black thigh high stockings, I take my purchases to the checkout.

~..~..~

I don't have much time, Christian will be home in a couple hours, so I'm busy getting myself and our bedroom ready.

I have my sexy black lace thong on, the stockings with the garter, and a black mini robe to cover my breasts until he's home. My robe just barely covers my ass. The hot curlers are in my hair as I apply my make up; smoky eyes and a deep red lip. Bedroom eyes and fuck me lips. I'm hoping this will be enough to distract Christian. And I hope he will be sated enough to take the news well.

Just as I finish my lips, my phone rings.

I look down and see my man's sexy smile.

"Hi, Christian." I cheer as I answer his call, hoping I don't sound nervous.

"Hey, baby," He sounds so stressed and exhausted. "Listen, I have a last minute meeting that I can't reschedule."

"Oh no," This doesn't sound good. "When will you be home?"

"Late." He tells me. "I'm not sure what time exactly, but it will likely be long after you and Teddy are sleeping."

"Christian, I need to talk to you and Teddy's not home, he's staying with your parents."

"I'm sorry, baby, but I need to take care of this."

"Your meetings never lasted this long before unless you had to take a business trip somewhere. I mean, after we're sleeping?"

"It's in Portland," He explains. "Ros and I are taking Charlie Tango. A storm is reported to come through around ten so if it gets too late, we'll probably just stay at the Heathman and I'll be home tomorrow morning since I wont be able to fly through it."

"Alright," What else can I say? "Well, maybe I'll just hang out with Kate tonight then."

I could really use someone to talk to about this.

"No."

"Why not?" I ask offended.

"I don't want you out late, Kate has a tendency of getting you drunk and letting you off on your own. I wont be there if some asshole decides to take advantage of you. We'll hang out with Elliot and Kate together next weekend if you want."

Oh my god, "Christian, that happened a long time ago, you're never going to let me live that down, and I'm sure Sawyer will stop anyone from getting too close. Kate and I will just stay in anyway, I'm sure."

I definitely wouldn't want to talk about this in public and I can't drink anyway, but he doesn't know that.

"My answer remains." He tells me firmly.

"Christian, I'm home alone, I'm lonely."

"Why don't you hang out with Mia," He suggests instead. "She's going to Paris soon and we wont see her for a few months."

"I need to talk to you." I say quietly.

"We'll talk when I get home, don't wait up."

"Fine." I whisper in defeat.

"Love you, baby. Laters."

He hangs up.

"I love you too." I whimper to him even though he can no longer hear me.

...

I'm not sure how, as I don't remember how I got here, but I somehow found myself on our bed, crying my eyes out.

"Don't start with the waterworks now, Anastasia!" He snaps, running a hand through his hair, pulling it as he does.

Some people hide their pain behind their smiles, I don't even have a smile to hide behind anymore.

"Your shot!?" He snarls.

He bangs his fist on the table, making me jump, and stands so abruptly he almost knocks the dining chair over.

"Did you forget? Tell me. Or did you do this on purpose?" His eyes blaze and anger radiates off of him.

"I'm sorry," I sob against our bed. "I'm so sorry, Christian."

"Sorry? Fuck!" He closes his eyes tight. I think he's trying to contain his temper and losing the battle.

I can't stop the ache in my heart, I'm so terrified that I'm about to break, that I am breaking. I'm just so tired, so tired of walking on eggshells around him. He's going to leave me, I know it, walk out like he did before, this time he'll never return.

"Oh, fuck this!" He bellows dismissively and holds his hands up in a gesture of defeat. He turns on his heel and stalks toward the foyer, grabbing his jacket as he leaves the great room. His footsteps echo off the wooden floor, and he disappears through the double doors into the foyer, slamming the door behind him and making me jump.

I'm alone with the silence.

I shudder as I continue to cry.

I don't know what I was thinking, Christian is likely to be pissed, more so than before. Last time he got drunk with that woman, this time I'm unsure what he will do. She hasn't been in our lives since that night, but I have a feeling she'll be coming back with a vengeance soon enough. Christian is going to run to her, he'll probably leave me just like I feared he would.

"Shit! I don't fucking believe it. How could you be so stupid?"

Unsure of how long I've been crying, thunder breaks me from my thoughts, from the ghost of my past, memories of how he acted, how he treated me when we found out I was pregnant with Teddy.

I'm alone in our room, laying on our bed, the only sound coming from the storm and my sniffles. The emptiness of the room overwhelms me.

I slowly sit up as I look out the windows to see the storm coming down hard, reflecting how I feel inside. Christian wont be coming home tonight because of it, the storm I mean.

With one last sniff, I get off the bed and drag myself to the bathroom.

When I look in the mirror, I look like some sort of science experiment gone bad.

My robe is open so you can see the swell of my breasts along with the lace thong, my hair is still wrapped in the hot-rollers but they are cool now and all loose from me laying on the bed, and my eyes are dark, like a raccoon, from my crying.

I begin taking out my rollers, which give my hair a crazy-ass curl since they've been in so long and then from laying on the bed.

After I have all the hot-rollers out, I grab some makeup removing wipes and begin to clean my face.

When I'm done, I just stand here, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

Angry with myself and the situation I'm in, I push everything off the counter as I scream.

Falling to my knees as I cry, I begin to pick up what landed on the floor.

There's a knock, I know it's Sawyer because he and I are the only ones here, but I ignore it.

"Mrs. Grey," I hear Sawyer call my name, probably from the bedroom door. "Is everything okay?"

I'm about to answer with my usual, 'fine', but as I'm reaching for the hot-roller base, I burn my hand.

"Ow!"

I pull my hand back and hold it to my chest.

In my peripheral vision I see someone's frame blocking the doorway. I blush when I look up and see Sawyer.

"Shit." He mumbles as he makes his way towards me, avoiding the land mines I've created.

He easily pulls me up to stand and leads me out to the bedroom.

"I'm fine," I tell him, repeating what I tell everyone. "I just burned my hand, is all."

Without a word he returns to the bathroom. I hear him rummaging around in there before he returns with a small hand towel.

He pulls my injured hand towards him and puts the towel on it.

I wince in response to the coolness.

"The rollers were cool, but I guess I forgot that the base was still plugged in." I explain with a fake giggle. "How did you know? That I needed help, I mean."

"I was doing my rounds when I heard the noise." He tells me as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out some medicated cream that he must of found in the bathroom cabinet.

He deposits a small amount on his finger and gently rubs the small area that I've burned.

It hurts at first, but then it feels nice, weird, but nice.

All too late I realize my robe has been open this whole time, my exposed cleavage and thong on full display for him.

I pull my hand away from him and quickly close my robe, holding it to my body so he can't see me anymore. It doesn't have the sash to tie it in place because Christian uses them to restrain me when we play and I don't know what he's done with half of them.

I look up at Sawyer as I blush a deep embarrassing shade of red.

His eyes are dark, full of lust, just how Christian's would be if he saw me in this getup.

I don't know what I'm thinking or what causes me to do this, but something comes over me as I reach up on my tippy toes and kiss the corner of his mouth.

He doesn't react and is impassive when I pull away. I have this overwhelming desire to feel his lips again.

This time, when I reach up, I kiss him full on his lips.

He still doesn't react, so I push my luck and kiss him again, this time I don't pull back.

After my second chaste kiss, he begins to slightly move his lips with mine.

I wrap my arms around his neck the same time he grabs my hips and pulls me flush against him. My nipples rub against the silky material of my robe and against the hardness of his chest, instantly dampening my panties. I feel that tingling sensation burn deep within me, heat rising, and my breathing increase. That need is building, wanting a release.

Finally he opens his mouth, deepening our kiss. I squirm and moan when my tongue meets his.

Before I know what's happening, Sawyer pushes me down onto the bed.

He quickly takes off his shirt before he climbs on top of me. My hands go straight to his well-defined abs.

I gasp when he roughly pulls open my silky robe, revealing my breasts to him completely, but my gasp is cut off when he crashes his lips to mine again.

I'm a squirming, panting mess as one of his hands kneads my breast while he kisses my neck.

He kisses my mouth again as he moves his hand, gliding it down my side, to my hip, and finally cupping my sex.

A growl escapes him when he feels my dampness through the lace.

A gasp escapes me when he pulls my panties down enough to slide his hand inside.

"Fuck," He groans against my mouth. "You are so fucking wet."

He groans again as another rush of wetness comes out of me.

When his fingers enter me, I bring my hips up to meet him.

In the heat of the moment, I reach for his belt. After I've unbuckled it, I move to unbutton and unzip his pants.

Reaching my hand in to grab him, I continue to move my hips while his fingers play with me.

As I stroke him, he grows harder, which makes me become wetter. His fingers are easily slipping around my sex with how wet I am.

"Oh, please." It's him begging. For what? I'm not sure.

I groan in complaint when he removes his fingers.

The tingling sensation in my core grows when he reaches for the bows at my hips. He unties them, freeing me from my panties and then tossing them unseeingly behind his shoulder. I'm completely hot and bothered, so wet and ready, my heart is pounding in my chest.

I moan when lunges at me, kissing me roughly, his fingers returning to my aching spot. This time my panties aren't constricting his movements, so now he's able to work me faster and harder. He adds pressure, moving his hand in a circular motion against my clit. I'm so wet, so close to exploding, just on the edge, and then he increases his speed as his tongue enters my mouth.

He's hitting that spot just right, and suddenly my toes curl and my eyes roll back.

"Aaargh!" I cry out as I cum around his fingers.

He kisses my jaw as he continues to move his fingers. My grip on his dick loosens as I succumb to my own pleasure.

I'm panting as I come down.

He's moved away from my sensitive clit, his fingers have now fully entered me, doing that come-hither motion.

More. I want more.

My hips are bucking up like crazy to meet his fingers, and as I do, the tip of his dick bumps against my wet sex. We both groan in response.

I stop moving, spread my thighs wide, and bring the tip of his dick to my clit, rubbing and coating him with my juices.

He removes his fingers, lines his dick up with my entrance, and holds himself up as he slowly pushes forward.

"Oooh god." I moan slowly as I feel each inch of him fill me.

I gasp when I realize he's fully entered me. We're in the self-defense position we practice, except this time we're connected by our most intimate and private parts.

"Oh my god!" Panic begins to take over, my body tenses up, but then he pulls back and the sensation overpowers my thoughts.

My sex instinctively grips him, not wanting him to leave, sucking him back in. And as he pushes forward, it feels so good, too good to stop him.

He picks up the pace, moving faster and faster, and soon I join his thrusts by flexing my hips up to meet him.

I run my hands up his strong arms, enjoying the feel of his muscles before I wrap my arms around his back, hugging him to me. He grabs my ass and pulls me closer so I wrap my thighs around his hips and angle myself at just the right place for him to hit that sweet spot every time. He's able to go deeper this way and it feels amazing.

The room is full of sounds of our panting, moaning, and the thunder from the storm.

"You feel so fucking good." He grunts. "So wet."

His words make me even more wet than I already am. Feeling my new wetness causes him to groan in pleasure.

Suddenly he flips us so I'm on top, riding him.

My robe is still on but it's completely open, hanging passed my shoulders, around my elbows.

I place my hands flat on his hard chest and ride him hard and fast.

The pleasure increases as his pubic bone rubs against my clit.

His hands glide up from my hips and grab my breasts, tweaking my nipples.

"Oh!" I throw my head back which pushes my breasts into his hands.

I feel my insides clench and tighten, I'm so close.

He must feel it too because he releases my nipples and grabs my hips again, making me rock faster and harder than before.

My sex convulses and a gush of wetness comes out of me as my orgasm hits me hard.

I slow my sped but he flips us again so he's on top of me, continuing to drive into me as wave after wave hits me with full force. He prolongs my orgasm and just as I'm about to come down from my high, he pushes deep inside of me and I feel him pulsate his release as my sex continues to squeeze him.

He collapses on top of me when he's finished. I wrap my hands around his head, holding him to my breasts and playing with his damp hair.

We're both panting, trying to catch our breaths.

A flash of lightning illuminates the otherwise dark room, showing me exactly what I've done.

Sawyer kisses the swell of my breast then pulls out of me.

I hang my head in shame and quickly wrap the robe around me.

"Wow!" He breathes in awe.

I can't lay here next to him. With what energy I have left, I jump out of bed.

"That shouldn't of happened." I tell him as the guilt and regret immediately hits me hard, like the bite of a brown leather belt.

"That may be true."

May be true?! I just cheated on my husband!

I turn around just as he's zipping up his pants that we didn't even bother to take off.

"I have to tell him."

"What?!" He snaps his head up to me.

"I have to tell Christian." I repeat.

"Mrs.-" He begins urgently, only to change is tone and correct himself. "Um. Ana. You can't."

"I have to!"

"He'll fire me."

"No," I say even though I know Christian will do much more than fire him. "No, I wont let him."

"Let's be realistic here, nothing you can say or do will stop him from destroying me. I wont only lose this job but he'll blacklist me. He's a very influential, powerful man. I'll be ruined. If you want me to leave, I will, I'll find another job, just give me some time."

"I-" Shit, he's right, Christian will destroy him. "Well, I wont tell him it was you-"

"Ha!" He grunts. "He will want to know who. You can't tell him you had sex with another man and expect him to not want to know who with, and I'm sure he'll have a way to figure it out if you tell him anything anyway."

"Okay, fine." I surrender. "I wont tell him then, I wont tell him anything, I'll just keep it a dirty secret that I'm a whore!"

"Ana-" He begins but I've already started crying.

He rushes toward me and tries to hold me but I pull away from him. I don't want him to touch me.

"You're not." He tells me.

"Luke!" I scream his given name, it just doesn't feel right to call him Sawyer after that. "Look at me, look at what I did! I've betrayed my husband! We're still half dressed and the sheets are still wet, for goodness sake! I fucked another man, I'm a whore!"

"Ana-"

"Just leave." I tell him, my voice so cold and showing no emotion.

"A-"

"Go." I urge him.

I turn around not wanting to see him anymore.

It's quiet for awhile until eventually I hear him move around the room, but I don't dare look at him.

When I hear the door open and then close, I fall to the floor and cry.

Oh my god, what have I done?!