Disclaimer I do not own these characters they remain the property of Nicole Colville. This fanfiction has been written with her permission to use her characters.

For those of you who have never read The Hidden Series, they are a set of M/M books which are available on Amazon.

I arrived at my destination the evening ahead of time, Booking into the hotel opposite the restaurant. I ensured the room had a view over the street which would enable me to see Alexander when he arrived. Michele knew I was close by, but I didn't tell him where I was, he didn't need to know.

A black Bentley pulled up at just before 8pm. I knew it was Alexander for two reasons. The first, Scot hated being late anywhere and the second, it was a Bentley. A car I despised, but in my eyes it would always be the poor relation and copycat of my beloved Rolls Royce Obviously because of my hatred, Scot would chose this car to drive around in, even though I was 'dead'. It was his way of defying me, even beyond the grave. Childish really.

My eyes were fixed on the car as first Scot got out, fixing his jacket and looking around before he extended his hand to Jamie, who stepped out of the car next. They smiled at each other, keeping physical contact as usual. It was good to see Scot looking to happy and free, but he wasn't really who I was interested in seeing. Finally, I saw the familiar sight of my love emerging from the car. His ebony curls bouncing as he stood upright. Straightening up before he adjusted his black jacket as looked around him, taking in his surroundings as if looking for someone. I think I stopped breathing for a second. He looked stunning, if not a little on the thin side. Even from here I could see the last few months had not been kind to him.

Jamie broke away from Scot and placed his arm around his father in a protective manner. Scot nodded to Michele, who was standing on the pavement with another security agent. They both stepped inside the restaurant with Scot, leaving Jamie and Alexander outside. They seemed to be having some kind of conversation which I couldn't hear which frustrated me. Jamie smiled, brushing the hair for Alexanders face. With broadening smiles and a seemingly reassuring hug from Jamie, they made their way inside the restaurant and out of my sight. I waited for Michele to switch on the signal to the earpiece I had. We'd agreed he would do this just before he gave Alexander the gift which would be toward the end of the meal. All I could do now was wait, and I didn't like to be kept waiting.

After two hours I finally heard the sounds of the restaurant in my ear. Michele was clearly giving the security detail instructions, knowing I would get to hear it. He was ordering the car to be brought to the front of the restaurant. He was barking orders. telling people to be ready when Mr Victore gave the word. Then he moved back into the private dining room as I could hear the sound of the voice I had missed so desperately, Alexande. It seemed like they were having fun, laughing and joking. My heart ached to know that I wasn't missed from the party at all. Then I heard Jamie proposing a toast to his father and wishing him a very happy birthday. There was the sound of the clinking of glasses before I heard Alexander speak.

"I would also like to propose a toast, seeing as it's my birthday." I smiled at the thought; he always did like to have his say. "I would like to raise my glass to someone who isn't here tonight." I smiled, it was goo to know he was thinking of me. "To Angel, who won his race today. I am so proud of him."

To say I was stunned was an understatement. I'd thought he was going to say my name, but no. It seemed I wasn't even on his mind tonight. It hurt, just like someone had taken taking a knife and plunging it deep into my heart.

I heard Michele speaking to Alexander. "Sir, I hate to interrupt but I have this for you. Sorry it's late in the day, but I wasn't sure of the best time to give this to you."

"Thank you Michele, you really didn't have to." He replied.

Then I heard Scot's voice cut through. "You bought a gift for Alex?"

"No sir, I wouldn't ever be so presumptuous. This is from someone else. I was entrusted with it and asked to pass it on."

A single word fell from Alexander' lips. "Gray."

The room was silent. I knew Jamie and Scot would be exchanging worried looks, but the fact I could still hear the soft background music, I knew Michele was still there.

"How did he do this? He's dead." Scot's voice came out barely in a whisper. "I saw him." Then in harder tone "He was dead, he is dead."

"I know Scot." Michele placated. "This was left in my care should anything happen to Mr Victore."

"He always planned ahead." Came Alexander's voice. "He never planned to live, to grow old with me. He was always going to leave me, I was never enough for him."

"No!" I shouted out. "That's not true." Of course Alexander couldn't hear me.

"Gray never really cared, he never loved me like he claimed to. If he did how could he leave me, and have this ready? It's only been a few months since he died, it seemed so sudden, but he knew he wouldn't be here to see my birthday."

"Dad, please don't. Get upset." Jamie tried to placate him.

I couldn't speak, I needed to hear what was being said.

"Don't get upset? My bastard of a father did this. He deserved to die." Scot spat. The venom dropped from his words, not that I expected any less from him. "Even rotting in hell he's tearing lives apart and I hate him for it."

"No. It's not like that. This isn't how I meant for it to be." I knew I was speaking to myself as I began to pace the room like a wild tiger.

Alexander's tirade continued. "He never loved me. He can't have done to leave me. He never intended for us to be together, everything he ever told me was a lie. I've been so stupid, what a fool." Alexander's voice broke. It was heavy with emotion and I heard him cry. I never meant for him to get upset over this I'd wanted it to bring him comfort, to reassure him just how much I loved him. Somehow for him to know I did this for him, for us. I wanted to run into the restaurant, throwing caution to the wind and tell him to his face just how I felt about him.

I went to the door and tried to open it, but it was locked. I fumbled with the lock and pulled the handle but nothing. The door wasn't budging. I ran to the window and tried to open it, hell I would jump into the street below if I had to. Again, I was thwarted. The window only opened about an inch there was some kind of safety opening in place. I was trapped, unable, to get out. This was hell.

All the time I was hearing the voices of my son, Jamie and Alexander as they talked. Jamie was trying to smooth things over, but Scot was busy dripping poison into Alexander's ear. I went back to the door, frantically pulling on the handle, hoping against all hope that it would open.

I only stopped when I heard words which broke me in a way I never expected., "I just wish I'd had the chance to pull the trigger myself." Alexander sounded calm. Almost too calm. I knew this side to him, he could be an immovable force at times.

I fell to my knees. "Angel, no." I sobbed.

"Dad! You can't say that." Jamie gasped. "You don't mean it."

"I do, from the first moment I met him, Gray told me he would hurt me, break me in ways I never knew were possible, and I didn't believe him. He tried to push me away, but I keep pushing back to him. I should've listened to him. to your mother, Jamie. She warned me, they all did, but I wouldn't listen. I was a fool, blinded by lust and need."

There was the sound of a chair scraping across the floor.

"Sit down dad. Michele, get him a brandy he's in shock." Jamie snapped.

"No! I've had enough of people telling me what to do with my life, how to act, how to behave. I'm done. You hear me? The Alexander Burton you knew is dead and gone, just like the sadistic bastard who moulded me into what he wanted for so many years. I'm Alex Burton, my own man not some puppet Gray controls from beyond the grave." He paused as if he was catching his breath. "Don't you see? Everything Scot uncovered was true. Every last word."

Scot chuckled. "Now you believe me. Finally."

"Yes, I do Scot. I should've listened to you. I'm sorry I ever doubted what you told me. I wish he was alive now, if only so I could kill him myself and watch the bastard suffer as I did for so many years."

No one spoke. The room was deathly silent, the only sound I could hear were my own sobs. "I am suffering angel, I'm nothing without you."

"I don't want his gifts, or his empty and pointless proclamations of love to me. They are worthless, just like him."

"Dad, please. Where are you going?" Jamie sounded frantic,

"I don't know. I need time to think, my life has been a lie for so long Jamie. You understand how that feels."

Alex, take one of the men with you." Scot instructed.

"No. I want to be alone. I'll be okay, I promise." He replied. "Don't have anyone follow me Scot, that's what your father would've done. I've had enough of the Victore men controlling my life."

I knew he was challenging Scot more as he reminded him so much of me. It was also his way of ensuring Scot would let him be alone. I didn't like the idea of Alex being alone. He was too emotional right now, anything could happen to him and the thought made my blood run cold.

"Michele!" I shouted, even though the radio was one way, I had to try. Nothing came back, some pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled Michele's number. It rang, I could hear it both in my earpiece and through the phone itself.

"Do you need to get that?" Jamie asked Michele.

"No, it's no one important." Michele replied as he allowed my call to go to voicemail.

I was so angry and wanted him to know I'd heard that comment when his voicemail picked up. "No-one important? Really Michele you are asking for trouble with that comment. Call me back as soon as you get his, I'm stuck in a damn hotel room just across from the restaurant and I can't get out to fix this mess. I'm not happy."

I ended the call having made my point made loud and clear.

I then heard voices in my ear again,

"I know you hate him Scot, and I never understood why. I love you like a son, please know that." Alex said.

"You're not going to do something stupid are you? Scot sounded concerned.

Alex laughed. "The only stupid thing I did was give my heart and body to that cold bastard. So Scot, if you mean stupid as in killing myself, then no. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to live my life and have some fun. It's time I stopped playing the hidden away, grieving partner of Gray Victore. He was a monster, plain and simple. Uncaring and unfeeling. I deserve better. My life starts here, tonight. He's gone and I'm glad because now I'm free to be who want, not who he molded me to be. I needed freedom, not control. Love not pain. I've shed too many tears for that man, not a single one did he deserve."

There was the sound of movement in the room; I could only imagine what was happening.

"Don't worry about me; I'll be back at the hotel later. I just need to be myself right now, to find the man Gray took away from me all those years ago. I love you both so very much. Thank you."

"Take care Alex." Scot spoke, his voice soft. I could also hear Jamie sobbing as he said his goodbye.

Michele spoke finally. What would you like me to do with the gift sir?"

"Throw it away. I don't want it, I don't want anything from him. It's just a shame I can't send it to him I hell." Alex chuckled. Then I heard footsteps as he left the room.

"I'm sorry sir." Michele said, and I don't know who it was meant for as the sound cut off as the link as severed.

My world had crumbled around my ears, the one thing I never wanted to happen had happened. Alexander hated me, he was glad I was dead and wished he'd pulled the trigger himself. This couldn't be happening.

Rage filled me and I took out my anger on the objects furnishing the room, causing total destruction before I once again sank to the floor, my heart broken and ripped into a million pieces. Everything I had done had been for him, he was everything to me, my sun, my moon, my earth. The reason to live and breathe I'd clung to for so long was now gone. There was nothing left for me anymore.

Authors Note:

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Massive thanks go out to Lisa for pre-reading.