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CHAPTER FOUR: MAYA'S CHOICE

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People stared at him as he let out a huge yawn in the elevator. He ignored them and leaned on to the side, looking down at his shoes. He hadn't slept all night, thinking about Maya's announcement. All through his outing with Jack, he kept thinking he had done a bad thing. Jack was not only always going on and on about Maya's promising future, he was also one of Elliott's closest friends. Hell, Jack was like a father to him. He gave him a chance when no one else wanted to even look at his work and if it wasn't for the older man, he'd be working at a supermarket in Jersey. And now he had turned around and gotten his daughter pregnant. All night long he had wanted to call Maya but promised himself he would give her some space. He had wanted to talk to someone, anyone, but promised Maya he wouldn't tell anyone she was pregnant. So all night long he had been tossing and turning, sometimes depressed about Maya's take on her pregnancy, sometimes excited about the fact that he was going to be a father.

Stepping out of the elevator, the first thing he noticed was a bunch of men with ladders and tools.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked Finch.

"Jack is installing a PA system," Finch said.

"Why?" Elliott asked.

"Uh, because he's a 64 year old frustrated old man and instead of tying flies in his basement and letting his nails grow 3 feet long he's decided the staff's morale will increase if he whispers daily affirmations every morning through the PA," Finch said, clearly annoyed.

"My studio too?" Elliott asked.

"Even the bathrooms," Finch said. "He thinks he's got the in scoop on how to get rid of constipation."

Elliott moaned.

"Finch," Jack asked, peeking his head out his office. "Make sure they set it up so I can also play the banjo without any static."

"How about free ear plugs with every pay check?" Finch joked.

Elliott just chuckled as one of the workers came over. "You the boss?"

"Yeah," Jack said.

"Look, I really can't work with all these people here," the man said. "We installed the one in that office by the kitchen cause it was empty but we'll come back on Saturday for the rest."

"What?" Jack exclaimed. "But I already have three boxes of Chinese fortune cookies."

"Well, with all these people around here it'll take us longer, that means it'll cost you more," the man said.

"Fine!" Jack said. "But it'll be a somber day for Xing Ping Chung down in accounting."

The man left, taking all the workers with him and Jack rolled his eyes. "Where's Nina?"

"She called to say she was on the way," Finch said.

"Well, we can't start the meeting without her," Jack complained.

"What about Maya?" Elliott asked, noticing she wasn't in her office.

"She called in sick," Finch said.

"Calling in sick, late for work, no PA system... Dennis, I need a scalp massage," Jack said and went back into his office.

"Did Maya say what was wrong?" Elliott asked.

"Maya, Maya, Maya, what about me?!" Finch exclaimed. "Dude, he's got a bumpy head!"

"I know, I know. Just think happy thoughts," Elliott said as he shoved a complaining Finch into Jack's office. Looking around, he went back to Finch's desk and picked up the phone. He dialed Maya's number and waited for her to pick up.

"Maya?" he asked.

"Who's this?" she asked.

"It's me, Elliott. Is everything okay? Finch said you were sick."

"Oh, I'm fine. I just needed the day off and I knew my dad would know I was lying," she said.

"Oh," Elliott said. "So, you don't need anything? Everything is okay?"

"You have to stop asking me if I need something, Elliott. I'm fine," she smiled.

"Well, if you do need something, call me at work, or on my cell phone," Elliott said. "I'm leaving the office at 6, but with the traffic I'll probably be home around 6:45..."

"Elliott," Maya chuckled. "It's okay, don't worry about it."

"Okay," Elliott said. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Maya said, hanging up the phone.

Elliott let out a sigh as he looked around. He so wanted to call her back and beg her to keep their baby, but he knew that was unfair on his part. Even if Maya wanted the baby, he knew it would be hard for her. He would always try to help her out, but he didn't know what she wanted. Marriage? He just didn't know if he was ready to give her that. As much as it was his responsibility to step forth and do the right thing, he didn't want to bring a child into a rotten marriage.

"I swear, it's like a ski lodge in his head," Finch complained as he walked out, taking some latex gloves off.

He ignored Elliott and watched as Nina walked in.

"Sorry I'm late. My cab driver didn't speak a word of English and before I knew it, he was driving me to Connecticut. By the time we got there, the meter read 150 dollars, which I didn't have, of course, so I had to pay him in a more... unconventional way," she said. "Let's just say I have free rides for the rest 3 months."

Finch shook his head. "Jack says get right to work before he fires you."

Nina moaned. "I need something to wake me up."

"There's some fresh coffee in the kitchenette," Elliott said.

Nina smiled and patted the side of his face. "Such innocence."

Elliott watched her leave and turned to Finch, who was smiling devilishly. "What's up with you?"

"The PA guy said that Nina's was the only office they had set up," he said.

"So?" Elliott asked.

"So, let's say we mess up with her mind for a day or two," Finch said devilishly.

"What do you have in mind?" Elliott asked.

"Oh, I don't know. A few whispers, the wind blowing when her windows are closed, Nina starts hearing voices..."

"You're crazy," Elliott said, shaking his head.

"Oh, come on!" Finch snapped. "Ever since you got it on with Maya you've been moping around, you work harder, you treat women like human beings... snap out of it!"

Elliott thought about it, looking towards Nina's office. A day of fun probably wouldn't kill him, and it would probably take his mind off Maya. "It has been a while since we both messed with her head."

Finch walked over. "Don't you miss it? The screams? The yells? Deporting her to Canada? That week she walked around without eyebrows?"

Elliott smiled. "I'll think of a reason to get Jack out of his office."

Finch hugged Elliott tight. "It's good to have you back, buddy."

------------

Maya stepped out of the cab, looking at the tall building in front of her. She had spent years of her life protesting in front of these, and now here she was, on the other side of the line.

When she stepped inside, she couldn't help but notice all the women sitting in the waiting area were mostly young girls, all with hunted faces. The scene sent chills up and down her spine and she quickly walked to the main desk. "Hi, I was hoping I could talk to someone? Maybe a counselor?"

"Why don't you have a seat, we'll call you in a second," the woman behind the desk said.

Being in a place like this made her physically nauseous. After years of working at Blush, she had pretty much learned to lean towards the pro choice area. But being in all these women's shoes, it was all so different. She was actually considering ending the life of her baby. Of her and Elliott's baby. She was about to walk away when she was called into a small office, where a young woman sat across from her on a desk.

"I was just hoping I could get some information?" Maya asked hesitantly.

"I understand," the woman said with a warm smile. "Well, all our procedures are confidential, meaning we don't release your name to anyone, not even the father of the baby. If you want to remain anonymous, that's okay too, we won't ask for an identification or proof of existence. The procedure takes a couple of hours, after which you'll recuperate in our facility and then you get to go home the same day. That simple."

That simple, yet at the same time so complicated. "How safe is it?" Maya asked.

"We've never had a problem with any of our patients. Everyone on our staff is a professional. You might feel a little sore for a day or two, but the recuperation time is quick and you will be able to conceive after this," the woman said.

Maya just nodded, looking down at her fingers and feeling like crying.

The doctor noticed this and took off her glasses. "Basically we're just one of the options available for you."

Maya looked up and tried to smile. "You know, I always thought this was murder, that women who did this were monsters, and now I feel like a hypocrite."

The woman smiled. "Well, I've never been in this situation myself. Mostly the women who come here are teenagers who are scared of telling their parents, they have no money or no maturity to raise a child. Under some circumstances, it is the right choice. But it's not the only choice."

"Yeah," Maya smiled, but a single tear traveled down her cheek.

"Why don't you think about it some more, and if you have any questions or concerns, my name is Debra, and you can call me any time," Debra said, giving Maya some brochures and her card.

"Thank you," Maya smiled. As she stepped out of the clinic she noticed to young women outside with huge banners that read "Murders". Ignoring that, she called a cab and stepped inside. Letting her head drop on her hands, she started to cry. How had she gotten herself in this situation? She felt an uncontrollable urge to talk to Elliott. She always felt so safe when he was around. But she knew this was her choice, and she would have to go through with it by herself. The rest would have to wait.

--------------

"Okay, Jack's gone," Elliott said as he walked towards Finch's desk.

"Let's get wild," Finch grinned, walking into Jack's office and straight to the PA's control panel.

"So how do we know it works?" Elliott asked.

"If Nina's office is set up, then it works," Finch said.

"You know, it's too bad there isn't a hidden camera in her office," Elliott said.

"We can use that one I hid in Maya's," Finch said.

"What?!" Elliott exclaimed.

Finch laughed nervously. "Dude, just to make sure she wasn't stealing the pens."

Elliott just rolled his eyes. "How does this work?"

"I guess we just turn it on and talk into the mic," Finch said, turning the system on. He laughs silently and picked up the phone, whispering into it. "Nina.... Nina..."

In her office, Nina looked around the room, a frown on her face. "Elvis?"

She heard her name one more time and yelled, running out of her office.

Finch grinned, giving Elliott a high five. He turned the system off.

"Alright, next time I get to be God," Elliott said.

"Ok, let's mess with her some more." They walked out and found Nina taking a shot of Vodka. "Nina, is everything okay?"

Nina was shaking and just put her hand on Finch's shoulder. "You're not gonna believe this."

"Why Nina, you look like you've just seen a ghost," Elliott said, trying to hold back the giggles.

"I think there's something wrong in my office," Nina said. "I heard someone whispering my name."

"What do you mean?" Finch asked.

"I mean someone as in a ghost," she said, pouring herself another drink.

"Come on. You don't believe in those things, do you?" Elliott asked.

"Of course I do," Nina said. "When I was little my granny used to talk to president Washington through a loaf of old bread."

"Look, I think you've just had a little too much to drink today, that's probably why you think you're hearing things," Finch said. "Why don't you just go back to work and I assure you there won't be any voices in there."

"He knew my name, Finch," Nina cried.

"Of course, because it's your own imagination," Elliott said.

"Now back to work, chop chop!" Finch said. After Nina was gone, they began to laugh. "It's just too easy."

---------------

She sat in yet another waiting area, this time staring at posters that read "Adoption: It's the right choice". Under the letters were women holding children of different races or ethnicities. She smiled. Someone called her name and she found herself shaking hands with an older woman who was even warmer than Debra.

"How far along are you?" she asked as they walked down the hall.

"Five weeks," Maya said.

"Well, if you didn't know already, we are one of the biggest adoption agencies in New York. We work with you from the moment you come in until you give birth. We find a couple right away. If you want to meet them, you can. If you give them permission, they can be there at the birth. We try to make this a positive experience for both the biological mother and for the adoptive parents," the woman said.

"What happens afterwards?" Maya asked.

"That's up to the adoptive parents. They might be from another state or even another country, in which case they would leave. Some of them don't want the biological mothers to stay in contact with their children, some allow them to write or visit once a year, it depends," she said.

Maya nodded. "I really haven't made a choice yet."

They walked down the hall until they stood outside a room with lots of children playing inside. "Is the father living?"

"Yeah," Maya said.

"How would you describe your relationship?" she asked.

Maya let out a sigh. "I don't know. We used to go out. But now, well, this was more of an accident."

"How does he feel about keeping this baby?" the woman asked.

Maya shook her head. "I don't know."

"I think you should talk to him about it. After all, we'll need his permission to go through with the adoption," she said.

"Why?" Maya asked.

"Legal matters," the woman said.

Maya let out a sigh.

"Is there a specific reason why you feel you can't take care of this baby?" the woman asked.

"I don't know," Maya whispered, watching a little boy play with a ball. "I just didn't plan this to happen like this. I always thought I'd get married, wait a couple of years, make sure I'm ready, and then have children. But this is all too sudden."

"I understand," the woman said. "Well, speaking from experience, you can never be ready enough to be a parent. No matter how much you plan it, you'll always feel like you don't know what to do."

"Yeah," Maya said. "I always wanted children, I just didn't know it would happen like this."

The woman smiled. "Listen, if you decide to go for adoption, you would be making a single couple out there very happy. But you have to think about yourself first. If you feel like you might want to keep this baby, at least a little bit, then don't jump into things. You might end up making a huge mistake and once the papers are signed, I'm afraid there's not much you can do. Talk to your boyfriend. Make sure this is what you both want. You say you've always wanted children, well, you have a chance now."

Maya finally took her eyes off the little boy and smiled at the woman. "Thank you."

"If you have any questions, just give me a call."

-------------------

Finch called Elliott from the other side of the room. "Jack just went to his meeting."

"I have a couple of minutes off, let's do it," Elliott said and they walked back into Jack's office.

"Are you sure you can do this without laughing?" Finch asked.

"Just watch," Elliott said. He picked up the microphone and first made a wind sound.

Back in Nina's office, she looked around again, scared. "Is someone there?"

"Nina," came a voice.

She shrieked, but didn't move. "It's all in my head, it's just the vodka," she told herself.

"Nina."

"Okay, who is that?" she asked.

"It's God."

"God?" Nina asked. "How did you know where I work?"

"I created the world, I know everything!"

"Of course you do, I'm sorry!" she cried.

"I want you to do some things for me."

"Yes, yes, whatever you want," Nina said. "Look, I know I've been a little unfaithful to you--"

"Silence!"

"Ah!" Nina shrieked again, falling to her knees and assuming a praying position.

"When was the last time you went to church?"

"I'm not allowed back in church, I sold my soul to the devil back in 74 for a pair of platforms with real fish on the heels," Nina said.

"From now on you'll go to church 3 times a week. And you'll help your brothers and sisters more."

"How?" Nina asked.

"Start with your fellow co-workers. Start with Finch. I want you to introduce him to all your model friends."

Nina just rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"And Elliott. Every time he says he's hungry you shall go down to the deli and bring him a pastrami sandwich."

"Well, what do I get out of all of this?" Nina asked.

"Eternal youth."

"You can do that?" Nina asked.

"I'm God! I can do anything!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Nina cried. "Models and pastrami sandwiches, got it."

"Start with that, I'll contact you again when I need another favor."

"Yes God," Nina said, standing up and walking outside. Elliott and Finch were by the bullpen and she walked over.

"Nina, feeling better?" Elliott asked.

"Yeah, I guess it really was all in my head," she smiled. "Finch, here's Naomi Campbell's phone number."

"Oh, thank you," Finch said.

"Well, I'm going on my break. I'm very hungry," Elliott said.

"I've got it!" Nina said, making him sit down and then running towards the elevator.

Elliott looked up at Finch and they began to laugh.

"Dude, let's see what she'll do if we ask her to badmouth Jack to his face," Finch grinned.

"Sky's the limit," Elliott smiled.

-------------------

It had been an exhausting day. Maya sat at the park, staring up at the sky. She had done so much, yet was still so confused. Abortion-- she just didn't know about that. As much as this had been an accident, she didn't feel right going to such extremes. She wasn't sure she could be able to live the rest of her life at ease after doing such a thing. She tried to think of the rest of her life. It was true when she said she had always wanted to have children. She just didn't want to have them under such circumstances. As much as Elliott said he'd be there, she knew that probably meant a monthly check and birthday and Christmas presents. When it comes to men, you just can't trust what they say. They say one thing today and the next day they say another. As much as she wanted to believe he'd be there, she couldn't help but think he'd be there but not the way she wanted him to.

Looking around, she spotted a woman running down the park. She frowned, until out of the blue a small little boy chased after her. She stopped to knelt down and open her arms and the little boy fell into them, giggling. It made Maya smile. The woman wrapped her arms around the little boy and they both fell on the grass laughing.

Maya rubbed her stomach, already feeling a presence she knew was probably as big as a small bean. Being a mom. That always seemed so many years away. Even after turning 30, she never thought it was something that would happen soon. The thought of having a little boy or a little girl, it always made her smile. Her therapist kept telling her she should put her past behind her and move on. But this was such a drastic step. Then she thought of that time Elliott told her he wanted to have a baby with her. It was so real. He sounded so excited and sincere. But that was so long ago.

What was her problem? She had the money to raise a child. She had the resources. She had the maturity, and she knew she had the love. She always promised herself her children would have the childhood she didn't have. As much as her insecurities haunted her, she knew deep down she had the strength to do it. Glancing at the mother and son one more time, she stood up and walked away.

---------------

After dropping Nina off at the local church, the day had ended. Elliott put a plate of food on the table in front of him and went back into the kitchen to get a soda. Coming home was a little disappointing to see his answering machine was in blank. He hadn't heard from Maya all day and he kept trying to call only to have her machine pick up. He had left at least 20 messages. When he was walking out, the doorbell rang. He walked over and opened the door to see Maya standing there.

"Hey," he said, a little surprised. "Come in."

"Thanks," Maya said, looking around. "Am I interrupting dinner?"

"No, it's okay. It can wait," Elliott said, walking over a little nervously. "So."

Maya turned and sat on the couch, taking her coat off. Elliott sat next to her and she could tell he was even more nervous than she was. "Um, well, I've been thinking about, you know, the baby."

Elliott nodded. "Did you make a choice."

"Yes," Maya said. "Um, I went to an abortion clinic," she watched as the color drained from his face, but she continued. "And then I went to an adoption agency, and then I took some time to think about what I would do. See, when I was a little girl what I wanted the most was to have a mom and a dad, both in the same house. My dad was never around, and my mom wasn't exactly love on a stick."

Elliott chuckled nervously but kept listening.

"And even when they were together, all they'd do is fight and throw things and forget I was around. Most of the time I'd go to bed crying and it's not like I had siblings to talk to. And I always promised myself that if I ever had a baby, I'd bring it into a safe home with a mom and a dad who went to bed together every night, and you know, we'd go on car rides, and we'd get a dog, and we'd be a happy family."

"Maya, I told you I'd be there--" Elliott began but she put a hand on his chest to make him stop.

"I didn't think that I'd have a baby like this. I always thought I'd get married first. I talked to a lot of people today and I have way too many brochures on my bag. I know that I won't be able to give this baby that kind of home I wanted, but..." she smiled for a moment and let out a sigh. "I'm gonna keep the baby."

Elliott felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders and he just laughed. "Oh, thank God," he said, giving Maya a big hug.

She chuckled as well, crying at the same time, hugging him back. "I hope this is the right decision."

Elliott pulled back. "It is!" He was so happy he felt he was about to burst. "Look," he stood up and grabbed a bag from a chair. "I brought these from home."

Maya reached inside, taking out a baby blanket and a small teddy bear. "Aw."

"They were mine. When I was a baby I'd sleep with the blanket and Frankie was my best friend until I went to school," Elliott said. "I want our baby to have them."

Maya felt like crying even harder. The teddy bear was a little worn out but the blanket was still soft and cushy. "How did you know you'd need them."

Elliott couldn't stop smiling but he sat down and took Maya's hands. "I knew you were gonna keep it."

Maya shook her head, freeing one of her hands and clearing the tears off her face. She took a deep breath and stood up. "Well, I should go home."

Elliott stood up. "Wait, don't you, wanna stay?"

Maya shook her head. "Elliott about us, I think that maybe we should just think about the baby for now."

"Why?" Elliott asked, feeling a little confused.

"Because, I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you don't wanna do," she said.

"But I do," Elliott said. "I told you I'd be there, Maya. Maybe we should, I don't know, get married?"

Maya just laughed sarcastically. "That's definitely something you don't wanna do." She watched him look around somberly and she just patted his arm. "Look, let's just keep things the way they are. I kinda have enough on my plate as it is."

Elliott just nodded, feeling still a little disappointed, but after her deciding to keep the baby, he felt he shouldn't complain. "Okay."

She smiled and walked towards the door, but stopped. "Um, I guess we'll have to tell dad."

"Ow," Elliott moaned.

"Come on, he's not that bad," Maya said.

"Maya, he's threatened to kill me at least five times after we broke up," Elliott said.

"He's kidding," Maya smiled. "Look, I'll tell him myself, sweeten him up. Any suggestions as to how to tell him?"

"Just make it one clean blow," Elliott said. "And then call me to tell me how it went. I'll be hiding in Madagascar."

She shook her head and slapped him playfully. "Good night."

"Night," he said. "Maya?" he called her and she turned around. He walked over, gave her a kiss on her forehead and hugged her tight again. "Thank you."

TBC