Three: Freak Meets Freak

The man who opened the door of number four, Privet Drive, was nothing more than an adult version of the whale whom we had already seen. Large, beefy, no neck, a face that seemed constantly constipated. All of this made no very great impression on me as he studied s through his narrowed, piggy eyes.

"What the devil do you two want," he asked in a voice that nearer to a shout than anything else.

I thought about trying the pleasant approach first. After all, I didn't really expect it to work, but no one would be able to say that I hadn't tried.

"Good afternoon, sir. My name is Carl Corey, and this is my associate, Philip Donovan. May we come in for a moment?"

If possible, his eyes narrowed even more.

"I'm not interested in buying anything. Good day."

He began to slam the door in our faces. Well, I had not thought that pleasantness would go very far with this oaf.

I reached out and pushed gently on the door. Now, this would not have worked for an ordinary man, but I may say with no boasting whatsoever, that I am no ordinary man. That gentle push sent the fat man flying backwards to land on his ass with a thud that shook the whole house and, from the sounds of it, caused something quite heavy to break.

"Thank you for letting us in, sir," said I, smile still affixed to my face. "Come along, Phil."

'Phil' followed me inside quickly, shutting the door behind him. By then, the fat man had struggled his way to his feet, face blotchy with impotent rage.

I opened my mouth to continue these false niceties, but a horrible wailing sound assaulted my senses before I could begin. Coming in from another room in the house was a tall thin woman who had a neck that resembled that of a giraffe. Unlike a giraffe, however, her voice sounded more like that of a hyena caught in its death throws. I quickly grew tired of the caterwauling and roared back at her to shut her gob!

By this time, the fat man had regained as much of his senses as he was ever likely to and interposed himself between us and the giraffe.

"Now, sirs, I insist you leave my house at once. You are breaking and entering, and if you don't leave right away, I'll call the police." He motioned with one fat finger towards the telephone that lay on a nearby table. I was not intimidated in the least, however.

"By all means, sir. Go ahead and call them. Perhaps they would be interested in meeting your nephew when they get here," I replied, still smiling.

The bluff was just that, a bluff. However, I deemed it to be a calculated risk on my part based on Ganelon's tale. Nor was I to be disappointed. In fact, the reaction of the two in front of me was nothing short of marvelous.

The fat man paled so fast that he quickly grew to resemble nothing more than monster blob of pizza dough. Giraffe's screaming stopped so suddenly that you would have thought a switch had been turned. Both of them shot apprehensive glances over at a small cupboard door over to the side, flush up against the foot of a stairwell that led who knows where.

A horrible suspicion gripped me then and, keeping my eyes on our hosts, I motioned Ganelon over to investigate the cupboard's contents. The fat man made a motion to stop him, but I allowed my smile to turn in to a snarl and motioned him to stay put. This he did reluctantly, jowls quivering in what I guessed to be a cross between fury and terror. Giraffe whimpered in consternation.

Ganelon yanked open the closet door, knelt down to look in, and jerked back quickly, letting out a word that would make most mothers blush with mortification. He gathered his wits about him quickly and then turned and peered back inside. He then reached in with both arms, and withdrew the ragamuffin we had seen earlier. Now, however, he looked to be in worse shape than then. Blood was still flowing from a split lip and also a small cut over his left eye. The eye itself was swollen nearly shut and his glasses were missing. The sight of this angered me greatly, but it also made my plans that much more certain. The boy was looking around him with his one good eye, and when his fearful gaze fell upon me, I saw that his eyes were the deepest green I had ever seen, even more so than my own. Also, there was a strange scar over his right eye, something that resembled a lightning bolt. I studied him for another moment while he studied me, and then turned back to the fat man and giraffe.

"You know, I saw the most amazing thing this afternoon," I told them, letting my smile return, only with a bit more coolness behind it this time. "Imagine my surprise to see this boy (I moved my head towards the little one still held in Ganelon's arms) being chased by five or six others and, at a school no less! Imagine my further surprise to see him suddenly go from standing in a dead end alley to up on the school roof.

"In fact, I was so intrigued that I had my associate follow you back to this house. He overheard your admonishments to the boy and that got both of our curiosities peaked. So naturally, we came to see you and to be introduce to such a remarkable young man.

"You are probably asking yourselves why I'm telling you all this. The answer is quite simple; I wish for the boy to come with us and be properly looked after. It would take a blind man to miss the fact that he is underfed and grossly underweight for someone of his age. That was my plan before I saw the two of you."

Here I allowed anger in to my voice, for it was time to lay down the law to these worthless wastes of space.

"Now, after seeing how much you care for him, I've decided you lost the ability to make a choice. The boy will be coming with us and will be properly looked after. I had been going to offer to take him with us as it was obvious he was not cared for. Now, I am telling you what is going to happen."

At this declaration, the horse-faced giraffe gasped while the fat man turned puce with indignation and resentment.

"How we treat The Freak is no concern of yours, you little bastard," the fat man shouted. Spittle flew from his lips in a fine spray and the sight was very repulsive.

I decided to quickly set him straight on a certain matter. In two strides, I had the fat man lifted in the air with my left hand, even though he weighed well over three hundred pounds. Giraffe opened her mouth to shriek again, but I glared at her and shook my head.

"Fat man, you need to keep your mouth shut. It will greatly increase your life expectancy. Although, seeing how you already look like a walking bowling ball, it may already be too late to do much on your life expectancy. Now, the boy is coming with us whether you like it or not. It is clear he is not wanted here. What is his name?"

No answer.

"Boy," I said, turning my head to look at him. "What is your name?" I tried to soften my voice, and it must have worked. After a moment of indecision, he looked back at me with that one green eye.

"Harry, sir. Harry Potter."

"And Harry Potter, my name is Carl Corey, and that nice man holding you is Phil Donovan. Harry, can you collect all of your belongings as you'll be coming with us. Phil can help you."

He thought about it for a moment, biting his lower lip until it bled, then shakily nodded. As he turned away back to the closet with 'Phil', I returned my attention to the fat man still in my grasp.

"Tell me something, fat man. How was he able to get himself up to the roof of that school with no ladder or any other means?"

"Because he's a Freak just like you," the giraffe snarled.

"I assure you that I am no freak. I can't disappear and reappear at will. However, it is clear that you have no intention of giving me answers. It is of no importance, just as you are of no importance. Therefore, we'll be leaving as soon as Phil and Harry are finished."

I finally let go of the fat man, once again causing a mini-earthquake as he struck the floor. Then, we simply waited. It didn't take more than another minute.

They both straightened up from the floor, 'Phil' holding a tiny bundle in the crook of one arm, and the tiny waif standing next to him, looking like one of the Munchkins in that Wizard of OZ movie I had seen once upon a time.

I motioned for Ganelon to pick the kid up and get ready to leave, but before we could even begin to leave the house, Giraffe spoke up.

"You can't take the freak. We are his legal relatives. I am his aunt. And besides, Dumbledore won't allow him to leave here."

The fact that she was his aunt didn't matter to me, nor did what some idiot named Dumbledore would or wouldn't allow bother me one wit. So there was no reason for what I did next. I withdrew my blade, Greyswandir, drawing the keen sword across my finger. Then, when the blood was flowing, I walked over to the little boy and placed my open wound against the matching open wound on his forehead over his right eye, allowing some of my blood to mingle with his own.

"There," I sneered at Giraffe. "We now share the same blood. Any more arguments?"

She had none. She didn't need any. Nor do I think now that she would have known what to say even if she had wanted to put forth any other arguments.

Again, fate must have been laughing, for with that simple action, meant to be a joke more than anything, all my plans were once more blown out the nearest window with hurricane force. Of course, I didn't realize it at that exact moment. It didn't take long, however, before I knew that something was wrong.