AN: Thank all for you comments :) here is chapter 4 for you guys all Dimitri POV. And there are a lot of surprises in this chapter. I hope you guys like this chapter. Please comment.

Disclaimers I don't own Vampire Academy or the characters, Richelle Mead does.

Chapter 4

DPOV

2 months ago...The day of the attack

I am seating in my room on the big couch I have. Thinking about this totally hot girl I have never noticed before. For the last 2 weeks I have been thinking all about her. She is driving me crazy. All I think is about her. These felling are so strong and I am pulled toward her. It's not like I only want her in bed. I wanted all her to be everything. I know she have this crush on me I can see in her aura.

Suddenly I am brought out of her thoughts to the announcement that all students are to remain in there rooms because strigoi on ground. What the fuck? Isn't their spouse to be wards up to protect us? This place is such a hellhole I so want to get out of here.

I can hear a lot of screaming. I am not sure whom they belong to strigoi or guardians. So what I do instead of seating in this room I grab my stake and head out. I am a royal but I don't give shit the strigoi are here to kill us and its not fair for the dhampir to die protecting us. They die protecting us all we do so hide somewhere safe so we can be safe. I so fucking hate this life on top I am the next in for throne so when I get out of this shithole I go another one and rule our world. I will be changing so much from our world all these rules I so hate.

I make way out near the entrance of the mori dorm I see 3 strigoi and I see Christian lying on the floor I hope he is ok. What the hell was he even going out here? In between the strigoi I see a small figure fighting to these dead creatures. I see her stake one of them and in a second she has her stake in the other strigoi chest. I see Mason my best friend running in an instant the on the bit her neck. No, no, no, no, not her. Not my Roza. Not her.

This fucker was going to pay for this I am going to make him suffer. I concentrate hard and now see the magic working. I see the strigoi leave rose and mason stake the one that rose was staking. The strigoi that bit her fell on his knee holding his chest. I make my way over in just 30 seconds and make his pain worse.

I look into his eyes and there was fear. Being a spirit user had their special gifts. What I did to the strigoi is so painful they can't breath and they're so much burning inside of your body that calls death. All I had to do was concentrate on him with my eyes make this happen its like compulsion but more stronger.

I heard mason crying. What? Why was he crying? No, no, no she can't be dead. So I make easy for this bastard and just stake him.

I kneel down beside her body. She looks so pale. I can't bring my self to check her pulse. I don't hear her heart beat, but yet can't bring my self believe she is gone. The girl that has been haunting me the last 2 weeks is gone. Love of life can't go. What? Love?

Oh my god! I love her. Love her more then anything. I need her more then air.

I don't know how but my hand was on her heart and I felt my magic go thru. I don't know why I did that. She was gone. My magic would not work. She was gone by the magic it drained me to much all I wanted to do was die right now there was no reason for my life, she was Everything and everything was gone. Before I let darkness take me I hear the heartbeat and Mason gasp.

What was that did the magic worked? Was it her heart beat?

I woke up in infirmary and was let go right away.

I walked out and the gang was there. Mason came up gave me big hug followed by Eddie and Christian all three of them are rose brothers.

"Thanks man, what you have done for us we can't never repay you for that." said Mason with tears in his eyes.

What? What have done I just lost love of my life. I have done nothing. All I did was stand there and let the fucker feed of my Roza. Oh Roza what am I going to do without you in this world? This is worse then anything.

"Why...why are you thanking me?" I asked confused.

"Oh Dimitri you brought her back. You healed Rose and she is alive." said mason with a big smile on his face

I what? It worked I thought no it didn't. I felt my self-smiling but I got so angry how could he?

"You got to be kidding? Wright it did not work, she was dead, and she was gone." I said looking angry with him. How could he just make fun of my Roza's death?

"Yeah she died but you healed her with your magic, she's just next door if you want to check."

Said. Mason

Without replying to him. I just ran to the room and sure the she lying on the bed looking like my angel. I could hear her heartbeats. The most beautiful sound in the whole world.

The doctor said that she would be awake soon and told all of us to leave since it was crowded. I didn't wanted to leave but I had to. I so hate shit whole when I getting out of here and I am taking my Roza somewhere it's me and her no one else.

All the sudden I am in this darkness. What the he'll? It's so creepy. And I think I am dead. What the fuck is going on? I am never going to see my brothers. Who? I don't have brothers, somebody got explain this. Oh my Russian god I couldn't even tell him how much I love him. Love him? I am not gay! Why am I thinking about this god? Wait Russian god? That's me! All the girls call me this. Brothers?

Oh my god! I was in my Roza's head. What the hell? I was brought back to own head by someone shaking me.

I looked at who it is oh it Avery lazar. My...oh nothing just a toy.

I knew the darkness building in me. All I want is get it all out. So I grab this chick in front of me and drag her to the lounge, which is the nearest place. I start kissing her with hunger and lust.

All the sudden I feel these emotions and weirdness, which is not coming from me. Then I feel her in my head oh shit! Roza can come in my head to. Roza can't see this. Next I no is she was into the darkness. I hope she didn't saw anything.

When she woke up Mason asked her what happened? She told us what happened. No! This is so not happening. So she can come into my head and feel everything while I can do the same thing. What happened?

Then Lissa said something that shocked everyone

"After the incident I was in the library researching on spirit an I read about this spirit user name St. Vlad who could heal. He brought his guardian Anna back to life. And Anna was bonded to him with an unbreakable bond. It called shadow-kissed. So since Dimitri you have brought her back to life she is bonded with you."

I was shocked. No, This cannot be good. Of course I am so happy she is alive but her in my? Head now that's freaky.

Me being me, I hide all the feelings and emotions for her. See I am a really strong spirit user I can block my emotions and also my aura from Adrian and Lissa because being spirit users gave me so much privacy. I love being a spirit user and even more now since I have brought Roza back to life.

It's been 2 months since the attack and Roza and I have bonded. Of course everyone thinks it's a one-way bond. Nope it's a two way. I searched on this Vlad guy but he only had one-way bond. It was good thing dough because I can tell what's on her mind. And I can't believe she is totally in love with me just like I am with her. She's been in love with me since she was 10! Wow! I can't believe that.

She is a good girl. Being in her head I found out she is verging. Can you believe it that the goddess has never been touch by any one. She has never been kissed. She was saving all for me. Why? I had a reputation of a man whore. She'll just get hurt.

I couldn't hurt her could I? No! By being bonded to her I know she is not like other girls. Even if I start a relation with her it would not go anywhere. Me being a royal Mori and on to the future king, her being dhampir it was forbidden. It was never allowed and it would never be. I know why it wouldn't work first she is a dhampir, and second my grandma hates her so much. She would make sure she guard some royal ass whole wants make her his blood whore. I would never allow that.

I don't want her for just her body or just to get away from darkness. I wanted her to be my love, my wife, and mother of my kids. She was everything for me. So I decided to keep my feelings to my self. She deserves someone better, someone who wouldn't hut her. Because I would, and with that I wouldn't be able live with my self.

She is crazily in love with me. But doesn't know that I am so wrong for her. She is an innocent girl. She could not be with a man whore.

I have learned how to block her to come into my head but I never blocked her, only the feelings and love. She can't know about this.

So I let my self-slip into her mind for some peace. This is the closest I have got to her. She was taking shower but was not in any good mode today and I know why? Because of...I don't even remember her name was with me last night and when I am with a girl I let her slip in to my head Now why would I do that? Well because she'll start hating me and the she can find someone who would love her unconditionally and he would not have to choose between duty and love.

It hurts me so much when I am with a girl because I only want her no one else, but just for her to stop loving me I have to be with these girls.

I slip back in to head and head to cafeteria. I grab my food and go sit at the usual table. Mason and Natalie are already seated there.

"Hey man was sup?" asked mason

"Good same old, how about you guys?" I asked I wasn't really in the mode today but I have to be my normal self-otherwise Mason would question.

Mason is a best friend and he is only the all about me except the love of my life and the tow way bond. See there is another thing to be added that I can be with Roza, she is Mason's sister and he would never allow this relationship knowing that I am such an ass. Mason is the only one knows about spirit abilities, no one else. If people found out about my abilities strigoi's would be after me because of my powers.

"Nothing I was just telling Natalie that Eddie, Christian, Rose and I are going to Turkey for Christmas to be with our dad" said Mason excited

I really like Abe, there father. He is a royal Mori but loves all his kids equally. Not a lot of mori care about the dhampir kids

Everyone came sat and started talking about random stuff. I was not interested in any of there conversation mostly about their love life. I wish I could have a love life with Roza. Roza where is she? I am dyeing to see her. As I just thought about her, she walked into the cafeteria and sat between my drunken cousin Adrian and me.

"Hey guys, was sup? Asked Rose and through the bond I found out that her anger for me was gone and was replaces by love. Oh god when would she just hate me. All I want to do is grab her kiss her hard with passion.

"Well hello my little dhampir." said Adrian with a smirk on his face all I want to do is take that off and beet the shit of this asshole. How dare he call my Roza his? I do want her to with someone else but not him. He's even worse them I am. He is all about alcohol and cigarettes. And I so hate whenever he dream walks with her. He put in these clothes that only I should see her in. I know through the bond that rose hates him so much. And that makes me so happy

I was all lost in my thoughts about my Roza. They made plans for today to be a movie night. I am looking forward to it because Roza would be there.

I don't feel like going to class so I started to go to my wing. Avery came up a kissed me I was so not in the mode but again it helps me take Roza off my mind and my emotions were allover the place and I felt her in my head I quickly blocked my emotions and felling that I have for her. She so wanted to kill Avery. I felt her take away the darkness from me I hate it when she does that.

I walk to my room and stayed there not going to any of my classes. No says anything because I am Ivashkov I get my way around everything. All I did was thought about Roza.

I couldn't wait for the movie night I just want to see her badly.

Everyone arrived and Roza has yet to come there is only space left for her to sit is in between Adrian and me. Doesn't that happen always? She came greet everyone and sit. The guys wanted to watch Cop Out and the girls wanted to watch When in Rome. I did not want to watch anything I was here for Roza and she was for me. They ended up putting Bitch Slap on trough the movie I felt Roza's head on my shoulder I looked down she was fast asleep. She looked like an angel while staring at her I fell asleep I was having my same dream that I have been having for the 2 months. I felt her in my head this was not goo because I was dreaming about her. I woke up before she turned in the dream. I was holding her tight and hold her even more tightly.

I looked her in the eyes and she was staring back at me. All I wanted to do was capture her lips with mine and that what she wanted. I leaned in and she also leaned in and suddenly I remember we could not be together and got up from the couch quickly.

Through the bond I was getting feelings that hurt me so much. She felt hurt, betrayed, and low. No she was everything to me.

"I didn't know when I went to sleep. " I said

"It's way pass curfew you can stay in the guest room." I said again having a back to her.

No, no, no my Roza I want you more than anything. Reply in to her thoughts in my head. You not a toy, you're everything to me. She doesn't say anything-just get up and run outside. I just can move from my place. I hate myself so much. She was hurting I was the cause. All I can do to her is hurt her.

I go to my room and cry my self to sleep.

AN: So what do you guys think about it? Please Review and give me more ideas. I would like you all to comment :)