A/N I promise I'm trying to churn these out. I wanted to give you all something so I'm publishing this piece for now (excuse the errors, it's late). Thank you so very much to all who reviewed, favorited, and followed. I appreciate it. Anyways, enjoy and please continue reviewing.
Disclaimer: not mine
To say she was awestruck would have been a major understatement. Her partner's home was certainly extravagant. Something that was surely to be way above his pay grade. Hell, it was past hers. As a field agent, she was paid a quite comfortable sum per mission, and even then she knew she wouldn't be able to afford this place.
So, what was her analyst partner doing in such a lucrative place?
Her mind was buzzing with all these thoughts as she walked deeper into her partner's home, reading the place like she was trained to do. It was definitely a home. The place looked well lived in. He had his walls lined with novels, and a piano by a panel of windows that covered the entire wall. Besides a set of comfortable looking sofas, the rest of the space was simple and bare, with a few of his things scattered on the table. A random book, and a few case files perfectly laid out next to it. The kitchen was fully stocked, and the bar had a plate of food that was half-eaten, as if someone had left in a hurry this morning. She was intently studying the place, noticing a set of stairs and a closed door on the other side of the room, all the while Castle was intently studying her.
He was worried. That had been blatantly obvious. Especially to the seasoned agent standing right in front of him. He was studying her face, her reactions, looking for any indication that she would bolt, that she'd suddenly find out all his secrets in her perusal of his home and run away. He'd been with her long enough to be able to read her face, get past the fake mask that her training had placed there. He knew her. That was how he was able to know, that at the current moment, she was unabashedly curious about his home. He loved to watch her. She kept her face perfectly neutral, but her eyes were shining with that beautiful spark that meant she was interested in something. He took this moment to drink her in, to take advantage of the fact that this might be the last time he ever has the opportunity to do so. After what felt like an eternity, she finally spoke.
"Nice place you got here Castle."
She finally turned her eyes to him, holding it, and offering him the tilt of a small grin.
"I gotta say, I'm definitely surprised."
Despite the whirl of emotions he was feeling, he couldn't hold back his smile. He could never hold it back from her. He offered her a shrug of his shoulders. "I thought you hated being surprised," he stated, while he turned his gaze downward, breaking their staring contest.
"You should know by now Castle, when it comes to you, I don't mind so much".
She was teasing him. Indulging in some light banter to help calm them both down. But it appeared to do the exact opposite. Because as soon as the words left her mouth, it was like a knife was being stabbed through him. He flinched at her words and he deflated. Before she could say anything else, he was already walking away from her, mumbling something that sounded like the word coffee. She did the only thing she could do. She followed.
"Sit," came the firm demand. She wasn't used to this Castle, the one giving orders, but she had passed her comfort zone a long time ago. She sat down and watched her partner comfortably work around his kitchen preparing two cups of coffee for them.
"You've been here for a while now, you seem very comfortable," she surmised. Ther was no doubt, only a deduction made based on the evidence she gathered.
"Yes, you could say that." He wasn't going to deny anything, he owed her that much.
He quickly finished up his task and placed her mug in front of her.
"Here. I figured we'd need caffeine in order to continue," he calmly said.
She only nodded before grabbing the cup and taking a sip of what was one of the best brews he had made to date. She closed her eyes to enjoy the taste before quickly opening them back up. He was watching her again. "Staring is still creepy Castle," she lightly scolded before rolling her eyes and taking another sip.
He released a light chuckle and she felt herself calm down a bit. A bit proud of herself for getting him to laugh again.
"Beckett," he started out with a serious tone, "before we being this, I want you to know something first," he held her gaze firmly again, only continuing when she gave a slight nod. "After all these years of working for the Agency and being your partner, you need to know that it was real for me," he paused to let his words sinks in, "your partnership means the world to me, and I have always had your back out there, you have always been able to depend on me, do you understand?"
He bore his eyes into hers, and only then could she truly see the depths of his desperation. Now she understood how deep this was going to run. Despite the panic that was rising up within her, despite her mind telling her to turn around and run, she saw the truth. For the first time in a very long time, she decided to ignore her mind and decided to follow what her gut had been telling her all this time, since the moment she strolled up to him and he flashed her that crooked smile of his. Trust him.
Keeping the firm eye contact with him she nodded her head, "I believe you Castle."
It was music to his ears. Four simple words and he felt the weight of the world fall off his shoulders. If only for a moment.
She believed him. She trusted him. And God he hoped he wasn't making the biggest mistake of his life.
"I'm not an analyst, well to be more specific, I'm not just an analyst," he started. "I have been with the Agency for a long time, longer than I've led you to believe, pretty much I've been in my entire life. You could say I grew up in the Agency. I joined straight out of high school, since I didn't really have a family. My father was never in the picture and my mother was more of an actress than a mother, and I didn't have any friends, so it seemed right. The Agency saw potential in me and I guess I saw the only future possible for me."
At this point he was standing in front of the window panes staring out into the city. It was like he was hypnotized, in a trance recalling his past.
She just stared at his form, taking in all the clues that confirmed his story. He was in shape, more so than the other analysts. He was all rugged lines and sharp angles. She knew this, had been denying what the facts had been telling her all along, and now reality was crashing down around her.
"I began training immediately. Spent years learning, working, and studying everything the Agency threw at me, and eventually I became an agent."
Now he had turned to face her again, leaning against the window and waiting to see what her reaction to this new information would be.
She was shocked. More so over the fact that deep down she sort of knew this, but she had denied it. Didn't want to believe that he had been lying to her. At least not after knowing each other for so long. But she couldn't really fault him could she? Everybody at the Agency had secrets. She had secrets. Now it seemed that Castle was ready to let them all out.
She appeared to be processing the information well, better than he thought she would. He should have known, Beckett was a logical person. She knew how to read the facts and come to a conclusion. She must've know this, but it seemed they were both kidding themselves. He continued on, not wanting to lose the courage he had summoned up just for this.
"I don't know if you've heard the stories, a certain agent by the name of Rodgers that had the most completed missions recorded by the Agency? Well, it's obvious the majority of those stories are exaggerated and make it seem like Rodgers was some kind of superhero, but there was an agent Rodgers and," he took a deep breath, "he was me."
As soon as the words left his mouth, she just felt her jaw drop.
