The Difference Between You and I
Chapter 4
Yamato woke with a start. He was covered in sweat and his mind was whirling. He looked around and realized that he had no idea where he was. The next thing that hit him was the ache resounding throughout his entire body. He moved to wrap his arms around himself and realized that he was undressed, lying naked in a large bed with sheets the color of blood. He looked down at his wrists and noticed the black and blue blotches already beginning to wrap around his skin. He touched his left wrist slightly and winced.
In that moment, everything came crumbling down on him in an instant. The fear and panic also returned in full force. Yamato leapt out of the bed and grabbed the sheet to wrap around himself. He searched for his clothes on the floor, in the corner of the room, on top of the dresser by the wall. Nothing. He moved to go towards the door when it suddenly opened. Yamato sprang back like a frightened animal and tripped over a pair of boots lying in the middle of the floor. With a thud, he fell to the floor, landing on his back. He heard footsteps, the clank of a tray meeting a surface, more footsteps and moments later someone was standing over him. Taichi crouched down, a cigarette dangling from his lips. "So, you're finally awake," he said. Yamato sat up and crawled away from the other boy until his back was against the side of the bed. "What are you doing here?" Yamato demanded.
Taichi cracked a smile like Yamato had just said a silly little joke then shrugged. "I live here," he said, motioning to the space around them. He stood and went over to the dresser where he had left the tray. There was a plastic bottle of what looked like medicine, a glass of water and a box of bandages. "What…" Yamato began, but Taichi silenced him with a quick wave of his hand. He took a few tablets from the plastic bottle and replaced the cap before he made his way back towards Yamato.
Yamato reacted and was on his feet in an instance, but had fallen over again seconds later. His legs had gotten caught in the sheet he had wrapped around himself and he lay sprawled on the wooden floor on his side. Taichi looked down at him like he was staring at some pathetic little animal. Actually, watching him jump around like that was quite funny, but in the process he was only hurting himself. "It seems like you really like it down there, but I'm going to have to ask you to get back into the bed," he said, but Taichi acted like he had never asked anyone politely to do anything in his life. Taichi reached out and grabbed a hold of Yamato's arm.
"Don't touch me!"
Taichi released Yamato suddenly, as if he had been burned, and stared at him. Yamato's eyes were wide with fear and he was trembling. The sudden physical contact had been a shock to his system. It wasn't only his mind…his body remembered the attack all to clearly and had reacted on instinct. Taichi looked away. "Tch."
So that was how he was going to act, huh? He moved again and gathered Yamato into his arms. Did Yamato take this action lying down? No. Hell no. One thing he could have done was protest weakly and struggle a little. Taichi had run into that before with girls. They say they don't want your help, but they really do. It was cute. At the very least a sane person in this situation would realize that Taichi was really only trying to help. What did Yamato do? Punch and kick. Not cute at all.
In the struggle, Yamato scratched the side of Taichi's face until he was flung onto the bed like a rag doll. "Crazy asshole," Taichi breathed, wiping the blood from the cut on his face. Yamato sat up with the sheet still around him like a suit of armor. He glared at Taichi. "I warned you," Yamato said. And he had, sort of. He had told Taichi not to touch him. "I don't need you help…" he added, under his breath.
"Oh?" Taichi put his cigarette out on the tray. He picked up the tablets and the glass of water and brought them over to the bed. The closer he got the farther Yamato inched away. Taichi held out the medicine and water. "Take it," he said and his tone implied that it wasn't something Yamato had the option of considering. It was an order. Yamato looked at him with an expression that clearing laid out his defiant state of mind.
"No," was what that expression said.
"Either you take this or I force you to take it. There, now you have a choice," Taichi offered as if he were being very generous. Yamato seemed angry, but he whipped out his hand for the tablets. Taichi put them into his hand and Yamato put them in his mouth. He attempted to swallow them dry and began to cough when one of them went down the wrong pipe. Taichi handed him the glass of water and Yamato gulped it down greedily. When he had finished Taichi just looked at him with a pompous expression before uttering: "Idiot." And he smiled while he took the glass back and set it onto the tray. Yamato frowned in response. It was so obvious that he was getting some kind of weird kick out of ordering him around.
"Where are my clothes?" Yamato asked. He adjusted the sheet around him again. He felt uncomfortable sitting around a stranger's house without any clothes on. Yes, he and Taichi knew each other, but as far as he was concerned Taichi was still a stranger. Taichi had left the room momentarily so Yamato had thought that maybe he hadn't heard the question. "Washing," was Taichi's simple reply. He came over and sat down at the edge of the bed. He had a bottle of alcohol in one hand and a few cotton swabs in the other along with the box of bandages Yamato had seen on the tray earlier. Taichi turned and stared at Yamato.
"What?" Yamato said, staring right back.
"Let go of the sheet. You've got a wound on your back," Taichi said. He reached out to pull the sheet away, but Yamato pulled back. "Are you kidding? I'm fine!" He had a few bruises and he was sore, but there was nothing on his…
Taichi reached out again and this time he successfully ripped the sheet away. Yamato moved to bolt from the bed, but Taichi caught him by the wrist. Bad idea. Yamato cried out and was more startled then in pain. Yamato fell back onto the bed and Taichi rolled him over onto his stomach. Vivid memories from the attack began to resurface, tearing at Yamato's mind as they climbed out to rear their ugly heads. "Stop!" That man sitting on top of him, crushing him, the disgusting feeling of his tongue and the stench of his breath. Yamato had felt terribly ill and cold throughout the whole encounter. It had been the worst experience of his life. The last thing he wanted to do was revisit it so soon.
"Sto--!" He began to yell, but he suddenly felt Taichi's fingers on his back and went rigid, they were burning him…Taichi's touch was like fire on his skin. This sensation was completely different.
"Relax," Taichi said, his voice was barely above a whisper and Yamato had almost not heard him over his own heavy breathing. The burning touch left him momentarily and Yamato began to calm down slightly, then he felt a jolt of pain. "Ow!" He turned his head as much as he could in his current position and saw Taichi working with the alcohol and the cotton swabs. "I'm just cleaning it so it won't get infected," Taichi said. After he disposed of the dirty cotton swabs by throwing them into a small garbage bin by the bed he applied a bandage to the wound. The whole time Taichi had gently attended to Yamato's wound he had taken every last detail of the sight before him. Yamato's skin was much fairer than he had imagined. Such perfect, beautiful skin even with the light bruises and scratches. After a moment he noticed Yamato staring at him and he moved away and over to the dresser. He set the items he had used onto the tray.
"So, you were the one." Yamato was sitting upright again with sheet back in place securely around him. Taichi said nothing and seemed to be fiddling with the cap to the alcohol. "You attacked that man," Yamato said. Though that sounded wrong…unfinished somehow. "To save me" should have been tacked right on there, but he couldn't say it. Yamato had been attacked for no reason and almost been…no, he couldn't even think the word any longer. He remembered those terrifying moments vividly, but the end of the attack was fuzzy. He remembered closing his eyes and then the attack suddenly had stopped. When he had opened his eyes again the robber was on the ground, bleeding. Someone had been standing over him with a brick in hand. Taichi.
"How did you know where I was?" Yamato looked over at Taichi who stared back at him evenly. "I went out to buy some cigarettes. Just so happened that I passed by and saw some food all over the sidewalk. I thought it was weird that someone would buy all that and just leave it lying there." Taichi paused to stuff his hands into his pockets. He seemed to find retelling his account of things somewhat boring. "I heard some noises not too far away and I went to check it out. I saw him pinning you to the ground—"Taichi's expression changed then and he seemed irritated or even angry. He looked away for a second and the expression was gone as quickly as it had come.
Yamato remembered that he hadn't been taken very far, but he couldn't remember making very much noise until the end. In the beginning, he had hoped to get away from the situation by "doing the right things." Apparently, there was no right way to go about dealing with people like the man that had attacked him. It was amazing that Taichi had happened to show up when he did. Talk about being in the right place at the right time. Even the word "amazing" seemed to be an understatement. It was a goddamn miracle. "That man, what happened to him?" Yamato asked and there wasn't a hint of emotion in his voice but inside he felt like screaming. "You beat him up pretty good."
Taichi nodded. "He was still breathing when I stopped."
"And?"
"I brought you here first and I went back."
"He could have escaped."
Taichi shot Yamato an irritated look. "Where the hell do you think my priorities are, asshole?" His tone was accusing and Yamato was surprised. He didn't reply and Taichi seemed to calm down a little. "He was still lying there when I got back…he won't be bothering you again or anyone else." Yamato stared at Taichi blankly. What the hell did that mean? "What did you do?" he asked. Taichi didn't reply and turned to leave the room. This was his silent way of telling Yamato that this is where their conversation ended. "Wait, damn it!" Yamato got off the bed, casting the sheet away. He grabbed Taichi by the shirt collar and slammed him against the wall. He glared into Taichi's dark and expressionless eyes. "What? Do you think I killed him?"
Yamato shook his head in frustration. "I don't know!"
"And what if I did?" Taichi shot back. "Are you going to tell me that you'd mourn a man who tried to rape you?"
"Of course not! I want to see him brought to the police…I want him arrested! I—"
"Yeah? And you'd be dragged into the police station. They'd drill you for hours on the attack. Where it happened, what you said, what he said, how he touched you…" Yamato released Taichi and clasped his hands over his ears. "Shut up!" But Taichi continued as if fueled by some unyielding, silent rage. "You'd get to see his face in a neat little lineup. There'd probably be some kind of trial. Everyone would know what happened, your family and friends…even if he did get put away. For how long? He'd be out before you knew it. Out there on the street and he might—"
"Shut the fuck up!" Yamato punched Taichi in the face. The other boy was pushed by the force of it to one side and he stopped himself from falling by standing firm. Blood trickled from the side of his mouth. He ignored it and looked at Yamato, cracking a small smile, but there was nothing in it. It was horribly empty much like Taichi's eyes. Yamato breathed in and out, trying to calm his own anger. How had things so quickly gone to hell? Even when the slightest bit of good was beginning to come out of Taichi he always seemed to screw it up. He wielded his actions and his words like a deadly weapon. What was he so afraid of? He had had enough. He needed to get out of here. If he stayed here any longer he would suffocate.
Yamato briskly walked over to the dresser and tore out whatever clothes he could find. He pulled a short sleeved blue shirt and a pair of khaki shorts on as quickly as he could and ran out of the room. Taichi made no move to follow him.
The building he found himself in was a two story. He went down the stairs until he reached the bottom level and passed a dazed middle age man in the hall. The man had a broom and a dust pan in his hands. He called after Yamato. "Hey there, young man, you'll catch a death of cold if you go out there like that!"
When Yamato was outside the chilly air struck him like a slap in the face. He stepped barefoot onto the freezing concrete and made his way out. Glancing at the street signs he knew right away where he was. He turned and headed down the sidewalk towards home.
--
Yamato realized he didn't have a key when he got back to the apartment. He couldn't tell what time it was or how many days had passed exactly. Taichi hadn't told him how long he had been unconscious. He reached up and knocked loudly on the door. For a few moments, nothing, and then he could hear someone shuffling around inside. The door opened and his father stuck his unshaven and sleepy-eyed face out. There was a steaming cup of coffee in his right hand and he was wearing his favorite blue bathrobe. Before his father could say anything, Yamato's hand shot out and he swung the door open and he was inside the apartment in seconds. He had barely made it past the living room when he heard his father calling out behind him. "Where have you been?" there was an attempt at a fatherly tone in his voice, but Yamato was in no mood. He was freezing and he was pissed off. He needed a change of clothes. Now. His father came up behind him just as Yamato slammed the door to his room.
"You've been gone for two days! Where were you?" his father's voice came floating from behind the door and a series of pounding followed.
Yamato originally had planned not to answer, but after a moment he said: "Out." Naturally, such a simple answer like that wouldn't efficiently explain his absence for two days. His father pounded on his door again and demanded that Yamato come out. Yamato glanced at the clock near his bed and it read: 4:00 AM. "Aren't you going to be late for work?" Yamato heard a kind of gasp or gargle…whatever it was. He heard his father shuffle away from the door. He went to and fro around the apartment before Yamato heard the sound of the front door opening. It made a loud creak and then he heard his father's voice. "We will talk about this later!" The door slammed and Yamato tucked his head between his knees. Finally, some peace and quiet.
But, Christ, two days.
Yamato grabbed an old shirt and pajama bottoms before making his way into the bathroom. He took a hot shower and felt a little better afterwards. Yamato went back to his room and collapsed onto the bed. He closed his eyes and tried to drift off to sleep, but his mind was still whirling. Yamato sat up and wondered what to do next. An idea came to him and instead of questioning it he got out of bed again.
If he couldn't sleep he might as well go to school.
--
Mimi was the first to spot Yamato in the crowd of students coming through the gate. She sat, cross legged on top of a ledge near the staircase leading to the front entrance to the school. She waited for him to get closer before she called out to him. The guys were too busy screwing around to notice. Daichi was content playing his portable gaming system while Yuu and Ken played a game to see who could slap the other first. It was a game of instincts they had said, but Mimi knew it was just an excuse to hit each other. Boys liked doing that kind of thing for some reason. Personally, she thought it was stupid. Thankfully, not all boys were so primitive. "Yamato!" He saw her and made his way over. "Hey," he said, trying to add some enthusiasm. Yuu and Ken turned away from their "game" and smiled at Yamato while Daichi just nodded, refusing to be torn away from his game. Mimi stared at Yamato a moment and he gave her a look. "What?" Hopefully her weird psychic "I know you" powers wouldn't activate and expose everything he was trying to cover up.
"Oh, nothing. You've only been gone for two days--" Mimi held out her hand and counted the number of offenses as she went on. "You didn't return any of my calls, and you look horrible..." she ended the last part with emphasis. Yamato shrugged. Yuu came over and wrapped his arm around Yamato's shoulder. A completely natural thing to do. Yuu liked to hang off people. He put his weight on Yamato as he leaned and Yamato tensed. "Don't!" he said suddenly before he could stop himself. In the past it wouldn't have bothered Yamato in the slightest, but he had reacted without thinking again. Yuu retracted his arm, startled. "Hey, um, sorry…" he said. Everyone looked at Yamato. Even Daichi was watching him quietly. "Uh, no. I'm sorry. I've been kind of jumpy lately. I haven't been sleeping much…"
"That explains why you look so bad," Mimi said, nodding. Again, the sensitivity of this girl astounded him. "And probably those dorky wristbands," Ken pointed out with a sly smile. He prodded Yamato in the ribs with his elbow, who reframed from wincing. Yamato had found a pair of black wrist bands he had worn a couple of years ago and used them to cover up the bruises on his wrists. He wore a long sleeved shirt to cover everything else, but it would be for nothing if he didn't keep his behavior in check. He didn't want his friends to notice anything out of the ordinary if at all possible. "But, that still doesn't explain why you didn't call me," Mimi said. Right, Mimi had told him before she had left the day before yesterday that she would call him later that night. He reached instinctively into his pocket for his phone and he realized that he didn't have it. He tried to remember what had happened to it, but was drawing a complete blank.
"I think I lost my cell phone," Yamato said.
Mimi shook her head and sighed. "Did you get insurance on the phone?" she asked. He shook his head. It was too expensive for him to get it insured. And a missing phone was currently the least of his worries. "I'm sure it'll turn up eventually," he said though he wasn't very confident that it would.
"Happens all the time," Yuu said. He should know. He was the king of misplaced property. Very rarely was he entrusted to hang onto anything of value because in a matter of moments it would disappear and you would never see it again. It was a strange phenomenon. Yuu was like a black hole. "You'll find it where you least expect it!" Daichi exclaimed and suddenly let out a cheer of victory. "Yeeeah! I beat the boss! Oh my god! Look at my score!" He was being very loud, but his cheery attitude seemed to brighten everyone's mood even Yamato's. "That's great, Daichi," Yamato said.
The bell rang and with a dramatic moan from the guys they turned to head inside the school.
--
It was the middle of the day and P.E. had rolled around. Yamato took his gym clothes into one of the stalls in the bathroom and changed there. As he was coming out Ken had startled him. The other boy had been waiting for him on the side of the entrance. "Did I scare you?" Ken chuckled. "Why'd you change in the bathroom? Got another couple hickeys your embarrassed to show?" Yamato thought for a moment and nodded, but said nothing. Of course, Mimi had told them all and God knows how many others. If that was what Ken wanted to think then who was he to stop him? Besides, anything was better than trying to cook up a random lie to cover up the ugly truth.
The two of them walked out of the gym and onto the field where the class was playing touch football. Ken seemed enthusiastic to join. Daichi came running up to them, panting and heaving from the sudden excursion. "Come on" –pant- "Let's demolish those fools! Muwa-" –pant- "uwahaha!" Apparently, Daichi was still revved up from his ultimate achievement in the gaming world.
There was a loud crack! and the boys looked towards the field just as someone was tackled, hard, to the ground then a fight broke out. The teacher began to blow his whistle loudly and raced over. The other boys murmured to each other as it seemed that someone might be hurt. The teacher pulled the two boys involved to their feet and began to yell at them. One boy in particular didn't appear to be paying attention at all.
Yamato felt an odd sensation rise up inside of him.
The other boy looked over at Yamato. "Kamiya, are you listening?" the teacher yelled, furious. Taichi looked back at the teacher, but showed no signs of replying or even nodding. "Oh, it's just him," Yamato heard Yuu say. He had just come over towards them, panting. He had been running around the field to warm up when the commotion had started. "What happened? I didn't see much," Ken said. Yuu motioned over towards the field. "I wasn't paying much attention either, but Taichi and Eichi were talking…Taichi must have said something nasty and that's why he got tackled. Brought it on himself." Daichi and Ken nodded in agreement. It seemed everyone shared the opinion that Taichi was a bad seed. "Look at his face. Someone probably got to him earlier too. Seems he's not as tough as he appears," Ken added. There was a large bruise on Taichi's cheek where Yamato had punched him and the scratch he had given him was covered by a bandage.
Yamato had assumed that Taichi wouldn't be at school today. He hadn't shown up for any of the other classes they had together. And yet here he was. It was silly of Yamato to think that Taichi would be so easily avoided. He was a presence that seemed to be everywhere. Inescapable.
The teacher grabbed a hold of Taichi's shirt and hauled him off the field. "You sit there. You're out of the game, Kamiya," he said. Taichi took a seat on the grass, but he seemed like the world would go on just fine if he sat out an entire P.E. class."Everyone else, go on! Get out there!" Yamato intended to sit the game out as well, but before he could his friends were pushing him out to the field. "Let's go, men! Fight! Fight!" Daichi howled and was accompanied by cheers from Yuu and Ken. Yamato just shook his head and rolled his eyes.
So, maybe one game wouldn't kill him. He could do at least one. While his body protested angrily he ran out and stood by his team. They formed a circle, but no meeting was required. The strategy was simple. Win, win…and win. They had a very straightforward approach to things. Their team controlled the ball and in seconds both sides began sprinting around. Daichi clasped the ball tightly and looked around for an open body to toss it to. Yamato was out in the center of the field in a flash despite his muscles nagging urgently at him. There was no member of the opposite team near him. "Yamato!" Daichi tossed the ball and it flew across the field before landing right in Yamato's arms. He turned to run and made it a few yards before someone from the other team moved in behind him. The other boy reached out to touch Yamato with the tips of his fingers, but tripped over his own feet. He tumbled forward and took Yamato down right along with him. The two of them crashed to the grass and the other boy ended up on top of Yamato.
Yamato felt disoriented, and for a moment he forgot where he was. He looked up and saw nothing but a shadow looming over him and the weight on top of him. The other boy leaned down to see if Yamato was all right and something snapped inside of Yamato.
"Aaaaahhh!" Yamato screamed and pushed the other boy off of him. Startled, the other boy crawled away just as Yamato's friends came to his side. They tried to calm him, but he didn't appear to recognize them. He was hysterical. He pushed away from the outstretched arms of his friends and moved to run as far as he could. "Yamato!" Ken managed to grab him. He took a hold of Yamato's shoulders and tried to shake some sense into him. Yamato cried out again and suddenly blacked out.
--
Yamato found himself in the nurse's office when he woke. He stared up at the ceiling for a while before he noticed there was someone beside him. Mimi peered down at him with a worried look in her eyes, but she sighed with relief when she saw that he was awake. "Thank goodness," she said. Yamato blinked. "What happened?" Bits and pieces were all he could recall. "You freaked out on the field. One moment you were playing football and the next you were screaming," she said. "Ken and the others told me," she added and for a moment she looked a bit uncomfortable like she had something on her mind and she was sure how to say it. That was truly a first for Mimi. She could always talk no matter what the situation.
"Where is everyone?"
Mimi sat back in the chair near the bed. "They had to go back to their classes. They've been with you for a while. Your brother came too, I just got here. Oh and--" she said.
Yamato interrupted her. "How long have I been out?"
Mimi shook her head. "An hour or two, not sure." She paused a moment. "They're really worried about you." Yamato's attention drifted back to the ceiling. "What happened?" Mimi asked. There was a moment of silence and she sighed. "Um, I'll be right back…" she said quietly. "I'm going to see if I can bring you something to eat." Mimi stood up and walked to the door. "I'll shut off the light so you can get some more rest." Mimi flipped the switch off and the light from the setting sun suddenly flooded the room in red. Mimi left and closed the door behind her slightly. When she had gone Yamato laid his hand over his eyes and took a deep breath. Great, now his friends definitely knew something was up and even his brother might begin to get curious. Sooner or later he would have to tell them the truth. He couldn't go on keeping everything bottled up inside of him forever. He sat up in the bed and got to his feet. He would find Mimi and tell her as much as he could. She was his best friend and she deserved an explanation. Mimi was a notorious gossip, but she was a good friend. If you asked her to keep something private she would do just that. He got out of the bed and made his way over to the door. Yamato took a deep breath and reached out for the doorknob just as he heard the sound of footsteps. A shadow appeared in front of the door.
"Mimi…?" Yamato said quietly.
The shadow paused at the door and said nothing, just waited.
"Listen, if it's all right with you…I just need to tell you something."
Silence.
"I know I've been acting weird. I've been under a lot of stress, and I think I'll go crazy if I don't talk to someone. Yesterday—after we separated I was on my way home and some guy just…decided that I was a good target. He dragged me into an alley and tried to rob me and then…rape me." Yamato paused and as far as he could tell he received no reaction from her. "Taichi was passing by and he got the guy before he could do anything. I was with him some time after that and I would have called you, but things got a little nuts. I'm still pretty messed up…that's probably why I acted like such a jerk to Taichi. He saved me and I didn't even say thanks. Still, he scares the hell out of me. I think the guy who attacked me is dead!" Yamato sat down and put his back against the wall near the edge of the door. He laid his face down into his hands. "I don't know what to do. I'm so confused, angry, afraid…I'm going out of my fucking mind!" A sobbed escaped his lips before he could stop himself. He muffled the next sob with his hands. He felt like crap and utterly ashamed to be acting in such a way, but it felt good to let some of this out.
The door creaked open. Yamato looked up just as fresh tears escaped his eyes. A hand reached down and wiped his tears. "Don't cry," said a voice. Yamato's eyes went wide. Taichi stood in the doorway, staring down at him, his expression was unreadable.
"You…!" Yamato moved to stand up, but Taichi knelt down in front of him and wrapped him up in a tight embrace. Even through his clothes Yamato could feel the maddening sensation of Taichi's touch. It was burning him, lighting him on fire. He wanted to demand that Taichi release him, but no words came. Instead he allowed Taichi to hold him in the empty room flooded with scarlet.
--
