FOUR
It was twenty-four hours later that he found himself in an honest-to-God English garden watching Deanna toddle on unsteady legs chasing butterflies. He smiled watching her face as she clapped her hands joyfully. If nothing else, he was grateful to Dee Dee for this. Much as life pained him, the sight of his daughter brought him joy - even in the midst of his anguish. Her bright blue eyes were lit up with excitement as she explored the world around her.
He glanced at his watch trying to calculate the time. He figured it must be 8:30 or so England time. He sighed, his head throbbing. He rose to direct his little daughter away from the prickly rose bushes, setting her back down on the quilt he'd spread out near the garden chairs. Seeing the carefully constructed pink and green quilt sent a wave of pain through him, as he remembered her long fingers carefully sewing it piece by piece. His memories were interrupted as a four year old boy emerged from the side of the house, his mother slowly following him.
"Unca Rick!" The four year old hurled himself through the air, arms outstretched ready to embrace the tall man.
"AJ! How is my little man?" He asked lifting the boy up into his arms.
"I can ride my trike, now!" AJ declared triumphantly.
"Show me." He set the boy down, and he ran off to the garden shed, but soon returned peddling a red tricycle.
"Way to go!" He cheered half-heartedly. He glanced over at McCall who had lowered herself down on the quilt beside his daughter. Deanna toddled toward her with outstretched arms, and Dee Dee lifted her up, cuddling her close.
"I can't believe it, Hunter. You actually produced a human." She said kissing the girl's cheek.
"Well, I'm a little surprised myself." He said with a shrug. "I can't get over this place. It is about a million miles from downtown LA, huh?" Leaning forward he whispered, in mock seriousness, "Do the locals know you used to dress up as hooker and prowl the streets of LA?"
"I'm sure you'll tell them." She said laughing, but her laughter was interrupted with a loud yawn. "I'm tired. It always takes me two days to get back on schedule." She inclined her head to meet the bright blue eyes of the little girl in her arms. "What about you? You tired, Little Dee?"
"You should go take a nap. I can keep an eye on the monsters." He said reaching for his daughter.
"Da da da!" Deanna chanted her arms outstretched toward her father. Dee Dee, began slowly to struggle to rise, as Hunter offered his arm to help. She settled into the deck chair across from him, smiling as little Dee rests her head against her father's shoulder. He whispers softly to her kissing her forehead.
"Tough guy, huh?" Dee Dee said smiling at him.
"I'm off the clock."
"Momma! Momma, did you see me ride?" AJ asked climbing off his tricycle and climbing up onto the chair beside her.
"I did! You were very fast." She said kissing his cheek. Accepting her praise, the small boy beams, and then hopping down from the chair, crosses to where Hunter is sitting.
"This is the baby?" He asks.
"Yes. This is Deanna." Rick answers, smiling at the little boy. "But she's a big girl now."
"I'm four." AJ declares proudly. "She's littler than me."
"That's true."
"Momma has a baby." AJ says pointing.
"That's right."
AJ rests his hand on Rick's knee, and reaching out, pats Deanna's back gently. "Dentle. Dentle."
Rick turns and raises a questioning eyebrow at McCall.
"Gentle." She explains. "We've been teaching him to be gentle around babies."
The peace of the garden and the familiarity of a faithful friend is deeply comforting to him. He doesn't have to put a wall or fix a mask to his face. He can be himself around Dee Dee, knowing that she'll take him as he is. They've survived some terrible days and nights together. He exhales, and reaches out with his free hand and runs it through AJ's hair.
"Unca Rick, where's Tantie Corrie?" AJ asks innocently.
And suddenly all his peace and comfort his gone. He swallows hard unable to respond; unable to breathe. He meets AJ's bright eyes unable to respond to the little boy who studies him innocently.
"AJ, member? We talked about this." Dee Dee says slowly, rising and crossing to her son, her hand on his small shoulder.
"Tantie Corrie can't come see AJ." AJ says looking at Rick with wide, brown eyes. "Tantie Corrie is gone for always.
He says nothing, just gives a short nod to AJ, and without meeting McCall's compassionate eyes, lifts Deanna and walks away from them.
"Unca? Unca Rick?"
The boy calls, but gets no answer. Dee Dee reaches out a hand to her small son.
"Come on, sweetheart. Show me how you ride."
"Unca Rick mad?" The boy turned his head to her.
"No, he's sad." She answers. "He misses Auntie Corrie."
***HUNTER***
The last time he visited he had shown up at the dinner table wearing a vest and tie. He loved to tease her about becoming an aristocrat. This evening his slips into his chair, after tucking Deanna into the highchair that sits beside the mahogany table - looking somewhat out of place. He glances at the food on the table.
"No tuxedo?" She asks him teasingly, but he just shakes his head at her, glancing at the table in front of him.
"Are those vegetables?" He counters with one eyebrow raised at her.
"Don't start." She says laughing.
"Parenting changes people, I tell you." He says lifting his napkin and shaking it out. "When I knew your mother, she could go a whole day just eating licorice." He tells AJ.
"Don't give him ideas." Alex says laughing.
"Now, I remember why we had to have an ocean between us." She says with a grin.
"That was minimum safe distance from my charm."
As he is speaking, she drops her napkin, but Alex rises quickly and hands it to her, his hand brushing her cheek gently. And the gesture, so loving and intimate, reminds him that the chair across from him is empty. His face pales, and he looks down, suddenly too tired for talking; too tired to eat.
"Maybe I should put Little Dee to sleep." He says swallowing hard to clear the lump in his throat.
"She seems fine. She's eating." Dee Dee says with a glance at Alex. "But we can watch her if you would rather . . ."
"Thanks." He doesn't even wait for her to finish, but rises quickly, and fairly rushes out of the room. It is too painful to see them; to watch the way that Alex glances at her with love in his eyes. A loneliness and longing settles over him.
"Was it something I . . ." Alex asks turning to her, but she shakes her head at him.
"No." She sighs and turning her attention to her son, says, "AJ sit up and eat that broccoli."
***HUNTER***
Alex finds him hours later in the library. He is standing listless in the center of the room staring up at the shelves of books.
"They came with the house." Alex say stepping into the room. "Well, some of them. Dee Dee had a couple of books, too."
"Yeah. She likes to collect things." Rick said. "I'm sorry about earlier. I . . ." He sighs heavily, running a hand over his face. "Where's little Dee?"
"Oh, she's fine. AJ is playing with her and Dee Dee's watching them. Don't worry about it."
"This is why I told her to stay away." He sits heavily in a wing chair. "I'm really sorry, Alex. I know she's worried, and that isn't good for the baby. I should probably . . ."
"Look, Rick, I made my peace with you so long ago. Both Corrie and I had to accept that you and Dee Dee come with strings attached. And, I'm glad you are here. I'm grateful, really. When you wouldn't take her calls . . ." He glances around rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "She was a wreck. She wouldn't sleep; hardly ate. Bringing you here was the easiest way to help her. I hope you don't mind, my using you like this." Alex moved and sat in the wing chair across from him.
"No. That's fine."
"And I sort of need to use you a little more." Alex glanced up tentatively. "I've got to go back to South Africa. If I don't go now, they'll make me go in a few months, and I don't want to leave her with the baby so close. I was sort of hoping you could stick around for a couple weeks. She'll tell you she doesn't need a babysitter, but I worry about her. It was different when we all went together, but leaving her behind . . . I don't like it."
"Yeah," Rick said looking up at Alex. "Sure, I can do that."
"Good. I fell badly, using you like this, especially now." Alex shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
"No, it's the least I can do. She flew across a continent to bring me back. I'm pretty ashamed I dragged a pregnant woman across the world because I was too weak to manage."
"Weak is the last word, I'd ever use to describe Rick Hunter." Alex said shaking his head. "If I ever lost Dee Dee, I know I'd fall into a bottle and never climb out." He rose and paused a hand resting on Hunter's shoulder. "We are here for whatever you need, man. You are family, and we take care of our own - even if they are across the ocean from us. The kids are in the front room, but don't feel like you need to go get her. You know Dee Dee is happy as can be with that baby girl."
***H***
Alex leaves three days later. Rick stays home, while Dee Dee takes Alex to the airport. Alex had arranged for a babysitter, a college girl named Winnifred. He tries not to react to the name when Dee Dee tells him.
"She's really great. AJ loves her. I've got her references if you want to check her out first." Dee Dee tells him.
"No, I trust you, McCall." He has slipped completely back into the habit of calling her that, and she doesn't correct him. Alex doesn't even blink at it. He should be calling her Turner, but it doesn't feel right, McCall's the name he called her every day for years.
"I'll be back in a couple of hours, okay?" She pats his shoulder affectionately.
He walks the countryside, trying to adjust to the quiet and the loneliness. He meets an old man walking with a gnarled stick who tips a cap at him.
"Hello." He says politely.
"You're the Yank who's visiting."
"Yes, that's me." He wonders what the people in the village have been saying.
"We were surprised that Yanks wanted to move here. Most of 'em prefer city life. But the Turners are good people. Mrs. Turner directed a children's choir at the rectory last year. It was lovely." The old man leaned on the stick in his hand. "Are you family to her?"
"Yes. Well, sort of . . ."
The old man shakes his head at him. "You, Americans never give a straight answer."
"We were police officers together back in Los Angeles. She was my partner for seven years."
"Oh! I'd forgotten she was an officer! It is hard to imagine. I retired myself years ago." He nods at Hunter. "Then she is family."
"Yes." He agrees.
"You on holiday?"
"Yes." He answers definitively, knowing any hesitation will lead to questions he doesn't want to answer.
"Welcome to the village then! Stop in at the pub and I'll buy you a pint - one officer to another!" He tips his cap again and then continues on his walk.
By the time he returns to the cottage, he is exhausted both from the walk and his thoughts. He finds himself slipping away into memories of Corrie. As he imagines her soft, blond hair brushing his shoulder, or the sound of the laughter, he is filled with comfort and with pain. He finds himself in the garden again trying to determine a path forward and away from the disaster his life has become.
"Aren't you freezing?" Dee Dee's voice startles him. She stands beside him, wrapped in a long coat.
"What?" He glances at his watch. "Wow, I didn't realize what time it was. Alex get off all right?"
"Yeah." She answers softly, and moves to sit across from him. "I know he asked you to babysit me." She smiles warmly at him.
"You don't need a sitter." He says smiling back.
"I'm glad you agreed to stick around all the same. I miss you, Hunter." She leans back in the chair a hand on her stomach.
"Yeah, me too."
They sit in a comfortable, agreeable silence. He studies her face. She's grown her hair long again, which he always prefered. She rubs her swollen stomach absently; lovingly. He realizes he has never asked.
"Did you find out?" He asks with raised eyebrows.
"We did." She smiles shyly at him, waiting.
"Well?"
"Girl."
"Oh! That's great!" He rises and kisses her cheek. "I don't know why I never asked! A daughter! Well," He settles back into his chair. "She'll be nothing but trouble - just like you!"
"That's what Alex says."
"Daughters are . . ." He sighs, settling back. "Corrie was hoping we would have a son. She wanted a boy, but I really hoped for another girl. I love little Dee. Daughters are so sweet."
"I'm sorry about the baby." She says gently, surprised to hear him speak about it.
"Yeah." He sighs again. "She was so determined to protect that baby. I guess in the end it wouldn't have mattered. The doctor told me that even if they'd started chemo right away, she probably wouldn't have . . ." He rubs a hand over his face. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway." He turns away but can feel her eyes on him; understands that it is compassion and love but the weight of her worry burdens him all the same.
"Listen, McCall, I just need some time to . . ."
"Don't worry about me, Rick." He can hear the surprise in her voice. "You don't have to explain one damn thing to me! Just relax, stay as long as you like - stay forever! There's no one on this earth I love, like I love you. You know that."
"Yeah." He sighs, studying his feet. Finally, he lifts his eyes, and asks, "Why haven't you asked me about it? I know you talked to the captain."
"I did."
"But you haven't asked."
"No." She says nothing else, and he feels himself relaxing; tension leaving every muscle. He hadn't even realized how long he'd been on edge; tense; protecting himself from everyone around him. He looks up at her as she continues. "You can tell me later, when you feel ready - if you want. I don't give a damn, Hunter. You think I'm gonna care about what happened to some pimp back in LA?" Shaking her head, she rises. Leaning toward him, she lifts her small hand and rubs his cheek gently. "You're the best man, I know Rick. You are a good man, and no story you tell me can ever change my mind about that." She turns and walks toward the house, but pauses a few steps from him.
"Come inside, it's freezing."
She waits, her body half-turned toward him. He sighs, recognizing that there's no use fighting her. He lost his battle with her, the second he swung open the door to her. He rises, and walks slowly to her, and she holds her hand out to him. He wraps a long arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side.
"Quit bossin' me, McCall." He says in mock irritation, but she only laughs.
"Oh, shut up, Hunter."
