The war. That is all everyone seems to be talking about. Lily looks around the classroom she is sitting in, and catches snippets of conversation here and there -

"His followers are called Death Eaters."

"Vol - ?"

"Sh! Don't say the name!"

"Sorry… anyway, You-know-who's followers?"

"Yes. Doesn't it sound corny? Death Eaters? Oh yeah, I'm really scared."

She finds something fake about this banter. Even as students make a joke out of the war and Voldemort, she sees right through this act. It is a mask that claims to hide the real fear, but really, it can clearly be seen in everyone's eyes. Even as the students make fun of the Death Eaters, they are jittery. Benjy Fenwick, sitting next to her in the sixth year Charms classroom, has a shadow in his usually bright blue eyes. Marlene McKinnon is fidgeting with her scarf, her mouth a frown. Sirius Black has a far away look that seems empty - he definitely isn't himself, Lily can tell. The usual amused expression on his face, the one that makes him look like he is laughing at a private joke, is not there. Remus Lupin looks more weary than usual, his face looking a lot older than a sixteen-year-old's. Peter Petegrew looks more confused than usual. And James… even James Potter looks subdued. That is saying something. James Potter was many things, but subdued was never one of them.

It is right before the Christmas holidays, and yet, the atmosphere is glum. The greens and reds decorating the hallways seem like they are there just to remind people that it is a time to be merry. Just so that they don't forget to be happy.

The bell rings at the end of another lesson in Charms. Students get up, murmuring about the war again. Lily is so fed up with all this talk of fight and revenge. She wishes for those times before the war was declared. Before. It was hard to imagine that 'before' was only three days ago. And over the three days there have been seven deaths ( three muggles, four muggleborns).

As she walks out the door with Dorcas, she struggles to remember what made 'before the war' any different from 'after it was declared.' It was different - no questions about that. But she cannot pinpoint the exact reason, other than the killings, of course.

"Is it really almost Christmas, Lily?" Dorcas asks, her tone flat.

"I'm afraid it is." Lily answers, reciprocating her friend's monotone.

"You hear anything the professor said today?"

"Not a word."

"Well, there is one thing to cheer about." Dorcas says, sounding slightly happier.

"What's that?"

"Slughorn's Christmas party."

Lily raises her eyebrows at Dorcas. "Any particular reason why you're happy about it?"

But before Dorcas can answer, Lily realizes that someone is nudging her elbow. She turns and finds Severus Snape walking along with her. She is startled, to say the least. For the first time in almost six months, she finds herself face-to-face with her former best friend. She notices that he looks especially pale, his hair as greasy as ever.

"Can I talk to you, Lily?" he asks, his voice low and scratchy. He glances over at Dorcas, and adds, "In private?"

"Whatever it is that you want to say, I'm sure you can say it in front of Dorcas, Snape." Lily replies curtly.

"Please." he says.

Lily stares at him, her gaze fiery. She then looks at Dorcas and says, "I'll meet you in the Great Hall?"

Dorcas eyes Snape warily, and then nods reluctantly. When Dorcas has walked away, he looks at Lily, guilt written all over his face. "How are you, Lily?"

"Is that what you wanted to ask me? In private?" Lily asks, not attempting to hide the contempt in her voice. They're in the middle of a hallway, and the crowd of students who are trying to get to the Great Hall for dinner walk around Lily and Severus. Severus looks around at the people, and deciding that it would be better to get out of the way of the crowd, reaches for Lily's wrist. But the moment his long fingers make contact with her slender wrist, she jumps. "What're you doing?" she snaps at him.

He flushes, releases her wrist, and tries to explain himself, "I - the crowd - blocking the way -"

She ignores him, and says, "I think the question should be directed at you, Severus." Her voice is so cold that he almost winces. The name 'Severus' on her lips used to make him smile. It used to sound like Lily was coating his name with honey when saying it. But now… now it sounded exactly the way his name should sound - like a cut… like a sharp blow… like a slap. "How are you? Happy, I'm sure." She is barely over five feet, but the way in which she is speaking to Severus right now makes him feel smaller than her. "Are you ecstatic that muggleborns, like me, are dying everyday? That's what you and your friends want, right? Do you see what this wizarding world has come to?" she shakes her head at him. "Hatred. Everywhere I look, I see hatred. It's people like you, Severus, who destroy everything!" It takes her a moment to realize that she is now yelling, and that her eyes are filling up with tears. People around them are looking over to see what the commotion is all about.

"Lily, don't…" he pleads, his hands reaching for Lily's again. Lily pulls away vehemently.

"Don't TOUCH me!" Her voice resonates around the hallway, and as she backs away from Severus, she hits something solid. And a voice as angry as Lily's says -

"What is going on here?"

Lily doesn't have to turn around to know that the solid form she has backed into is James Potter. He is holding onto her elbows from behind.

"Nothing is going on," she says, but her strangled voice betrays her. "Please, let go of my elbows, Potter." She pulls away, and turns to see James Potter glaring at Severus Snape. She looks at Severus and then at James, and says, "Excuse me." And then she is walking away, leaving in her wake two very confused, and somewhat hurt, boys.

………………………………...

"Meadowes." Sirius nods when he sees her sit at the Gryffindor table for dinner that night. Her hair is a soft brown. It reminds him a little of milk chocolate. The moment he thinks this, though, he wonders what is wrong with him. Why on earth was he comparing a girl's hair to food? He was turning into James. Yes, that's it. There was no other explanation. James, with his similes for Lily's eyes and hair, was influencing Sirius. And yes, ok, so he loved his best friend and all that, but Sirius didn't want to turn into Prongs. No possible way.

"Black." She nods back. She bites her lip and wonders why it is so hard being normal around Sirius Black.

"How are you?"

"Fine…" She looks at him after taking a seat across from Remus, who is sitting next to Sirius. "What about you?"

"Good." he says, but then laughs a dry laugh that is so unlike his dog-like bark. "As good as a person can be in these times."

Dorcas looks at him for a second, and then says, "You sound bitter."

He looks up from the potatoes on his plate, and says, "I am bitter." He looks over at Remus and Peter, and says to Dorcas, "It is Christmas, and we're all, " He points his fork at Remus, Peter, Dorcas, and then finally at himself, "bitter. Wouldn't you agree, Moony?" He looks at Remus, who shrugs and says -

"It's a war. Bitterness is what war is all about."

"Ah…" Sirius sighs, and throws Remus an exasperated look. "Remus likes to come up with his own idiotic philosophies," he tells Dorcas, who smiles at Sirius.

Then there is a silence in which everyone is preoccupied with consuming their food. A moment later, though, it is broken when Sirius exclaims, "Where the hell is Prongs, anyway?"

………………………………...

"Hey, EVANS!" He jogs down the hallway. "EVANS! WAIT!" But she doesn't slow down, nor does she acknowledge his loud voice. But he has long legs, and he catches up with her in seconds. He stands right in front of her, blocking her way. "What the hell, Evans?! I was trying to help." He is so very irritated. This was the limit. He had put up with her crap for a long time. And this was just the limit. Here he was, trying to help her and save her from the greasy git, and she wasn't even thankful? Well, he had to show her that no one, no one, could act this way towards James Potter.

But the moment her eyes meet his, he is so lost. He has no clue what he wants to tell her. He stares a little like an idiot.

"I am capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much." she says, and pierces him with a glare. "You were butting in." She gestures around at the people around them and says, "These people might consider you to be their savior, but you aren't my knight in shining -" she pauses, and then says, "robes. So, please stop trying to act like you are." This said, she turns around promptly and starts for the entrance of the Great Hall.

He stands there for a second.

Lily Evans always seems to render him speechless.

...

Note: Thanks a lot for reading. I love feedback, so please let me know how you like it :) Those of you who have reviewed before, thank you very much for taking your time to do so... You have motivated me to continue with the writing :)

- Cordelia Blythe